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2 Participant's Manual SKILLS FOR LIVING NODULE 2 Self Control 8. Self Presentation

3 /SKILLS FOR LIVINGe4L \A otre-o,--1.alln." Mc.), sn.qj / MODULE 2 Self Control and Self Presentatidn PARTICIPANT'S MANUAL 1-kq 2P FA 7_ ed Crom. document does not belong to the ql oi 1\1\S - i:cper authorizeon Must be obtained from the author f or \ am intended use. document nappeennent Les dsoits dauteur du présent pas à Ktat.oute utillisation du contenu du présent par l'auteur. 'ere approuvée préalablement doit en,(..nent c LIBRARY THE SOLICITOR MINISTRY OF GENERAL OF CANADA OCT 13 ie SIBLIOTHÉ DU SOLLICITEUR CUE MINISTÈRE GÉNÉRAL DU CANADA OTTAWA, ONTARIO CPU CANADA KiA EDUCATION, TRAINING AND EMPLOYMENT CORRECTIONAL SERVICE OF CANADA PACIFIC REGION Prepared by: Fraser Valley College: Terry Anderson Ryane Consulting Inc.: Joan Balmer, Joyanne Landers, Sherri Zysk, Helen Ryane, and Joanne Broatch (General Editor)

4 - 1 - MODULE 2: SESSION 1 Body Language and Assumptions SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. F:XERCISE 1 1. Mark the faces you see in this room. 2. Mark your own face NOW. 3. Mark 3 faces that are sometimes yours. DETERMINED DISAPPOINTED DISAPPROVING DISBELIEVING DISTASTEFUL EAVESDROPPIK ECSTATIC ENRAGED ENVIOUS EXASPERATED EXHAUSTED FRIGHTENED FRUSTRATED GRIEVING GUILTY HAPPY HORRIFIED HOT HUNGOVER HURT HYSTERICAL IDIOTIC INDIFFERENT INNOCENT INTERESTED JEALOUS LOADED LONELY LOVESTRUCX MEDITATIVE MISCHIEVOUS MISERABLE NEGATIVE OBSTINATE OPTIM ISTIC. PAINED PARANOID PRUDISH PUZZLED REGRETFUL

5 EXERCISE 2 This morning your LU. said he wanted to talk with you after lunch at 1:30. You arrive at 1:30, and he doesn't come until 1:40. Then he talks on the phone for a few minutes. He hangs up, smiles at you and says, "How are things going lately for you?" How does this make you feel? 1. I feel 2. I feel Why? What would you like to do? 1. I would

6 - 3 - IMERCISE 3 Read the following story. Assume all the information is right. Read it carefully. Then, if the statements below the story are TRUE, FALSE or QUESTIONABLE on the basis of the information contained in the story, circle "T", "F", or "?". This is not a memory test. In assessing each statement you may refer to the story. However, statements should be answered in order. Finish each one and mark it before going on to the next one. Don't skip and don't go back and change a mark. THE STORY A businessman had just turned off the lights in the store when a man appeared and demanded money. The owner opened a cash register. The contents of the cash register were scooped up, and the man sped away. A member of the police force was notified promptly. STATEMENTS ABOUT THE STORY 1. A man appeared after the owners had turned off store lights. 2. The robber was a man. 3. The man did not demand money. 4. The' man who opened the cash register was the ovmer. 5. The store owner scooped up the contents of the cash register and ran away. 6. Someone opened a cash register. 7. After the man who demanded the money scooped up the contents of the cash register, he ran away. 8. While the cash register contained money, the story does not state how much. 9. The robber demanded money of the owner. 10. The story contains a series of events in which only three persons are referred to: the owner of the store, a man who demanded money, and a member of the police force. 11. The following events were included in the story: someone demanded money, a cash register was opened, its contents were scooped up, and a man dashed out of the store. From: The 1980 Annual Handbook for Group Facilitators: J. William Pfeiffer dc John E. Jones, eds.

7 -4- BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION 1. Talk with staff about reading body language. 2. Look through some magazines together. lbar out 2 pictures where the body language says something... Tape one picture here. What does the body language say? Tape one picture here. What does the body language say?

8 - 5 - MODULE 2: SESSION 2 2-Way Communication SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: The body is the message. Julius Fast EXERCISE 1 1. About the person in the picture, I assume: To cheek out my assumptions, I could ask: 1. 2.

9 - 6 - EXER.CISE 2 1. Choose ONE and write 4 or 5 things about it: 1. Usually I would like to. 2. My favourite sport is My favourite T.V. program is. 4. The best job I ever had was My first impression of this place was. 6. A funny thing that happened to me was The most embarrassing moment I every had was other. I otiose number Two important things I learned from presentations are: 1. 2.

10 - 7 - BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION 1. With a staff person, watch people in a few T.V. ads 2. Each of you choose one ad to write about below. ME The words say: The body language says: The main message I get is: STAFF The words say: The body language says: The main message I get is:

11 MODULE 2: SESSION 3 Feedback SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: People rarely learn what you want them to learn from puniahrnent. EXERC/SE 1 PUT CONSTRUCTIVE GIVER'S EFFECT ON DOWN CRITICISM INTENT RECEIVER

12 BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION While watching TV, look for some of these examples: 1. Someone getting positive feedback and responding badly. The positive feedback was The poor response was The result was 2. Someone getting positive feedback and responding well. The positive feedback was.- The good response was 'Ihe result was

13 MODULE 21.. SESSION 4 Put-Downs SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: If you deny a feeling, it comes back riding a horse. EXERCISE 1 Read the following statements. Do you agree or disagree? 1. Being mature means you don't pay attention to feelings. Agree Disagree 2. Feelings just complicate life. 3. Feelings should be kept out of making important decisions. 4. Being afraid is a sign of weakness. 5. If people know how you feel, they can control you. 6. _Feelings guide our behaviour.

14 BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION Watch for a put-down on a T.V. program. Describe what the person who was put down did and said. The person who was put down What happened then? What else could that person have done? Talk to a staff person about this. One thing we talked about was

15 MODULE 2: SESSION 5 Constructive Criticism SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: I It's not what happens to me that's important; it's how I respond to what's happening. NOTES TO MYSELF an

16 BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION Note one time you saw someone receive constructive criticism this week. The constructive criticism was The criticized person's response was

17 MODULE 2: SESSION 6 Giving Your Opinion SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Speech is civilization. The word, even the most contradictory word, preserves contact - it is silence which isolates. Thomas Mann EXERCD3E 1 1. I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself in group sessions. Neve.r Always 2. I make sure I tell the group what I feel about a topic. _ Neve.r Always EXERCISE 2 INTERVIEW a.. 1. What do you see yourself doing five years from now? ten? 2. What is your stand on the birth control pill? a. Would you bring up your children differently from the way you were brought up? _ 4. What is the worst work you have done for money? 5. What is one thing you would like to do before you die?

18 -15 - EXERCISE 3 PREP Example 1: Point Reasons Examples Point Example 2: Point - I believe Reasons - My reasons are Examples - An example is: Point - Therefore 1. Example 3: Point - I believe Reasons - My reasons are Examples - An example is: Point - Therefore

19 BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION 1. Prepare for Panel 'Mink of some points you will use to make a 2-3 minute presentation. Ask a staff person for ideas. Topic:

20 MODULE 2: SESSION 7 Supporting Your Point of View SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Progress and growth are impossible if you always do things the way you've always done things. EXERCISE 1 Preparation for Role-Play I am talking to I want to say EXERCISE 2 After panel: Prom being on the panel, I learned that when I present myself I:

21 BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION Think of something you feel stxongly about. 1. Jot down some of your ideas about it. Point Reasons Examples Point 2. Have a short talk with a staff person on this subject (3-5 minutes). TaPe record ft. 3. Play tape back. Listen to your voice. Rate your talk. My voice is: Hard to hear Easy to hear Hard to understand Easy to understand My ideas: Are confusing Are clear Have no back up Are backed up 1 will work on

22 MODULE 2: SESSION 8 Introducirzg Yourself SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: I know that one is able to win people far more by the spoken than by the written word. Adolf Hitler EXERCISE 1 I AM - a - a - a - a - a -a EXERCISE 2 Introducing Your Friend * Write as though you are a good friend who,.will introduce you. I would like to introduce 1. is a person who likes: thinks it is important for people to:

23 really doesn't like: Some day would like to: EXERCISE 3 I used to PAST Now I PRESENT FUTURE In the future, Fll I used to Now I In the future, EXERCISE OLEKUISE 4 Very Close Fri( F Friends V y Close Friends a Friends 1111 Acquaintances Ifir 0 Lt 1111 Strangers ' Write in each circle people that you have a hard time talking to. Acquaintances Write in each circle people that you have a easy time talking to. Strang

24 EXERCISE 5 Presenting Myself: When I speak: 1. My strongest point is that I 2. I want to change the way I 3. I want to try BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION Introduce yourself to someone. Talk about yourself and also find out about him/her. Some suggestions: How I learned to play poker or drive a car. AU the different places Pve lived in. AU the jobs I've ever wanted to try. Sortie of my close brushes with death. 1. I spoke to 2. This is how I think I came across: 3. These are the clues:

25 MODULE 2: SESSION 9 Real Self, Ideal Self SOMETHING TO THEME ABOUT: Heroes inspire heroic deeds. EXERCISE 1 Part 1. Draw a life line marking the heroes you've had over the years. a- Some qualities my heroes have in common:

26 EXERCISE 2 Parti. Read through the following list of qualities. eolumn to show how you would hice to be. Put an X in the left hand Cover the left hand column and do the list a second time. This time, put an X in the right hand column to show you you really are. Ideal Self A little Sort of A lot Real Self A little Sort of A lot MR 111p1111 M e I am intelligent. I am self-confident. I like to meet people. I can't make up my mind. - I am ambitious. I have difficulty finishing things. I am likeable.. I tend to be suspicious. I lose my temper easily. I am friendly. I am disorganized. I am tolerant. I am apathetic. I assert myself with others. I am dependable. I trust my feelings. I rationalize a lot. I avoid facing things. Part 2. " Look at the differences between your real self and your ideal self.

27 Part 3. Ibree places where I would like my real self and my ideal self to be the same are: BEFORE THE NEXT SESSION In our next session we'll practice the skills in Module 2. _. To prepare, choose a T.V. character, someone in the news, or one of your heroes. Think of how that person presents himself to others. Come ready to describe or imitate that person. Talk with staff about how you see the person you choose.

28 MODULE 2: SESSION 10 Int egr ation SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Flapping your arms can be flying. Robert Hall EXERCISE 1 Complete this chart for yotw person. I AM... I LIKE... a a a a Draw 3 typical faces of your person. (See faces in Module 2, Session 1.) Write 3 words that describe your person's body movements.

29 EXIIRCD311 2 A. Write 3 of your person's beliefs, opinions B. The 2 most important things I learned from this activity are: 1. 2.

30 SELF-ASSESSMENT: MODULE 2 Mark the statement with an X if you know more about it now than pou did before the course. Mark another X if you think that you also sometimes act differently because of what pou know. I know more I sometimes act differently 1. I gather ma.ny clues from watching people's body.language. 2. It works best if I check out my assumptions. 3. Ihere is a difference between open and closed - questions. 4. Constructive criticism is different than a put-down. 5. There are positive ways to handle negative feedback. 6. I can handle put-downs better when I pay attention to my feelings. a- 7. PREP helps me get my point across When I hear others' points of view it is easier to solve a problem. 9. Knowing my goals and ideals helps give me direction. LIBRARY MINISTRY OF THE SOLICITOR GENERAL OF CANADA OCT.13 iqbi BIBLIOTHÈQUE MINISTÈRE DU SOLLICITEUR GÉNÉRAL DU CANADA OTTAWA, ONTARIO CANADA MA 0P8

31 SOL.GEN CANADA LIEVp I II p j r

32 ee;i JUL CL DATE DUE HQ Skills for living : a devel opmental approach to life.c2 skills programming in the S4p Correctional Service cf v.2 Canada : participant's manual.

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