Facts About Bullying. Bullying. Kids Who are Bullied

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1 Bullying Facts About Bullying Bullying is being mean to another kid over and over again. Bullying often includes: Teasing Talking about hurting someone Spreading rumors Leaving kids out on purpose Attacking someone by hitting them or yelling at them Bullying does not always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages or s. It includes posting rumors on sites like Facebook, sharing embarrassing pictures or videos, and making fake profiles or websites. Kids Who are Bullied Kids who are bullied can feel like they are: Different Powerless Unpopular Alone Kids who are bullied have a hard time standing up for themselves. They think the kid who bullies them is more powerful than they are. Bullying can make them: Sad, lonely, or nervous Feel sick Have problems at school Bully other kids

2 Kids Who Bully Others Kids bully others for many reasons, they may: Want to copy their friends Think bullying will help them fit in Think they are better than the kid they are bullying Bullying is never ok. Those who bully use power to hurt people. Power does not always mean bigger or stronger. Power can also mean popular or smart. Or, the kid doing the bullying may know a secret about the kid being bullied. Kids who bully can have other problems, too, even when they get older, like using alcohol and drugs, getting into fights, and dropping out of school. What You Can Do Are you being bullied? Do you see bullying at your school? There are things you can do to keep yourself and the kids you know safe from bullying. Treat Everyone with Respect Nobody should be mean to others. Stop and think before you say or do something that could hurt someone. If you feel like being mean to someone, find something else to do. Play a game, watch TV, or talk to a friend. Talk to an adult you trust. They can help you find ways to be nicer to others. Keep in mind that everyone is different. Not better or worse. Just different. If you think you have bullied someone in the past, apologize. Everyone feels better. What to Do If You re Bullied There are things you can do if you are being bullied: Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to stop in a calm, clear voice. You can also try to laugh it off. This works best if joking is easy for you. It could catch the kid bullying you off guard. If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. Don t fight back. Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot. There are things you can do to stay safe in the future, too.

3 Talk to an adult you trust. Don t keep your feelings inside. Telling someone can help you feel less alone. They can help you make a plan to stop the bullying. Stay away from places where bullying happens. Stay near adults and other kids. Most bullying happens when adults aren t around. Protect Yourself from Cyberbullying Bullying does not always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages or s. There are things you can do to protect yourself. Always think about what you post. You never know what someone will forward. Being kind to others online will help to keep you safe. Do not share anything that could hurt or embarrass anyone. Keep your password a secret from other kids. Even kids that seem like friends could give your password away or use it in ways you don t want. Let your parents have your passwords. Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of friends? Privacy settings let you control who sees what. Keep your parents in the loop. Tell them what you re doing online and who you re doing it with. Let them friend or follow you. Listen to what they have to say about what is and isn t okay to do. They care about you and want you to be safe. Talk to an adult you trust about any messages you get or things you see online that make you sad or scared. If it is cyberbullying, report it. Source: What is Cyberbullying Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites. Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or s, rumors sent by or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.

4 Click this link to see a brief video on cyberbullying: Why Cyberbullying is Different Kids who are being cyberbullied are often bullied in person as well. Additionally, kids who are cyberbullied have a harder time getting away from the behavior. Cyberbullying can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and reach a kid even when he or she is alone. It can happen any time of the day or night. Cyberbullying messages and images can be posted anonymously and distributed quickly to a very wide audience. It can be difficult and sometimes impossible to trace the source. Deleting inappropriate or harassing messages, texts, and pictures is extremely difficult after they have been posted or sent. Effects of Cyberbullying Cell phones and computers themselves are not to blame for cyberbullying. Social media sites can be used for positive activities, like connecting kids with friends and family, helping students with school, and for entertainment. But these tools can also be used to hurt other people. Whether done in person or through technology, the effects of bullying are similar. Kids who are cyberbullied are more likely to: Use alcohol and drugs Skip school Experience in-person bullying Be unwilling to attend school Receive poor grades Have lower self-esteem Have more health problems Source:

5 Source: 6 Reasons Why Bystanders Choose Not to Intervene to Stop Bullying Posted: 11/19/2013 1:50 pm In October, National Bullying Awareness month came and went. As a parent, a school counselor, and an author on the subject of bringing an end to bullying, it is my hope that the 31 days of media coverage shined a helpful spotlight on a painful, often shameful issue among schoolaged students. Likewise, my fingers are crossed for those in a position to make a difference in the lives of young people benefitted from the month-long blitz of information, advice, and strategies on stopping unwanted aggression. Even as the attention faded, however, those of us who work and live with kids know that it's worth taking extra time to acknowledge that stopping bullying is not as easy as it sounds on a tip sheet. For kids, who are often in the very best position to stop the bullying that occurs in

6 their midst, the barriers to intervention are very real and quite formidable. What follows are six of the most frequently cited reasons that young people give for why they choose not to intervene to stop bullying: 1. "Someone else will surely step in." Over the years, there has been quite a bit of research on the "diffusion of responsibility theory" which says that if a person believes that someone else will step in to stop a troubling situation, then they tend not to do so. Within schools, teams, and other youth-oriented groupings, kids often assume that adults will take full responsibility for intervening to end bullying. As such, they feel freed of the responsibility to do so. The trouble with this assumption, however, is that most bullying occurs where adults are not present. Hallways, buses, cafeterias, locker rooms, and social networking sites are among the most frequent venues for bullying, and share in common the absence of consistent adult supervision. When educating kids about being good bystanders, adults must make a priority of teaching kids not to look to others to intervene but to understand that stopping bullying is their personal responsibility. 2. "If I say anything, he'll turn on me next!" For young people, it is a very real possibility that doing the right thing for someone else will equate to doing the wrong thing for their own social status. As Barbara Coloroso (2008) points out in her book The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander, young people are keenly aware that kids who bully are quick to disparage and malign anyone who tries to intervene. The intimidation factor is forbidding. 3. "I don't like what she is doing, but she is still my friend." It is not at all unusual for a young person to witness an incident of bullying at the hands of a good friend. Recently, a middle school student

7 shared with me a story about a friend who started a slut-shaming rumor about another classmate. When I asked her what she thought about the situation, she replied plainly, "I mean, I don't agree with what she did, but she is still my friend." As I searched my brain for what to say (quickly filtering past stern finger-wagging and a conversation-ending rebuke), I watched her face. I sensed that in her gut, she knew that what her friend did was wrong and that she felt ashamed of her own non-action. She stammered to explain -- in her own set of words -- that the pressure to avoid a fight with her friend was paralyzing. Helping kids find ways to surmount this pressure and to sustain relationships even in the face of conflict is a key role of helping adults. 4. "I would say something, but she and I aren't really friends." The 7th grade girl who told me about the rumor knew with certainty that the bullying she witnessed was wrong, but was also able to rationalize that the girl being bullied was not her friend. In that way, she could convince herself that it was not her place to defend her and stop the bullying. This private logic is related to the diffusion of responsibility theory--the young girl justified that someone who was better friends with the bullied classmate would likely step in, so she was excused from doing so. 5. "You're asking me to stand out on purpose?" Most tweens and teens spend the majority of their waking hours trying to blend in with the crowd. Even kids who excel in academics, sports, theatre, or other particular interests tend to want to "be normal" when it comes to hanging out with their peers. Well-intentioned adults often give lip-service to the idea that kids should "stand up for their peers" without giving enough weight to how challenging it is for kids to stick their necks out in a cut-throat social world.

8 6. "I just don't know what to do to make it stop." Oftentimes, adults feel helpless when it comes to bringing an end to a bullying situation. They feel that they don't know what to say or how to intervene to make aggressive behavior stop. This is all the more true for young people. While news stories about bullying-related tragedies abound and bully-free zone posters adorn many school hallways, specific instruction on how to intervene effectively is not as widely available. Kids need explicit instruction on how to report, what to say, and who to talk to about common bullying situations. They need adults to listen to them thoroughly, take them seriously, and believe them when they find the courage to speak up about bullying among their peers. The barriers to intervening in bullying situations are both real and powerful for young people. To empower kids to speak out and stand up for their bullied peers, professionals and parents must be aware of these frequently cited challenges and help kids overcome them. It is important that all young people: Understand that stopping bullying starts with them; that it is their job to intervene, rather than someone else's responsibility. Feel connected to bullied children in a compelling way. Whether or not their relationship is a bona fide friendship, kids need to be able to empathize with targeted children and believe that no one deserves to be mistreated. Accept that conflict is a normal part of life and that while they may feel nervous about challenging a friend's bullying behavior, they must also be confident that a healthy friendship can withstand some disagreement. Believe that their actions will positively impact the bullied child and, at the same time, have minimal negative personal consequences. Signe Whitson, LSW is a school counselor, author, and national educator on stopping bullying. Source:

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10 Dad arrested for intimidating children he said bullied his child NAUGATUCK, CT (WFSB) - Naugatuck Police have arrested a father they said intimidated two children at his child's bus stop. Carlos Stuart, 40, of Naugatuck, believes the two children were bullying his child, who is autistic. The investigation began Oct. 28, after the two children were approached at a bus stop by Stuart. The mother of the autistic child said her child is in seventh grade and the victim of constant bullying at City Hill Middle School. "My son went to his father and said 'these kids are picking on me,'" said the mother of the autistic child, who wished not to be identified. "They're not stopping. Can you come to the bus stop with me so they could stop and leave me alone?" She said Stuart was "upset" and went to tell the two children to stop picking on his child. "He went to confront them and say it's fine if you don't want to be his friend, just leave him alone," the mother said. She told Eyewitness News she has told school officials, who have addressed it. However, she said for a period of time the bullying would stop and then start up again, and that's why Stuart got involved. Eyewitness News reached out to the school superintendent, but has not heard back at this time. Stuart was charged with Breach of Peace and released on $1,000 and is due in Waterbury Superior Court on Dec. 18. Stuart was previously charged with second-degree assault and threatening, among other charges, in December However, Stuart's girlfriend and the mother of the child said the latest charge is unfair. "What kind of world do we live in, if a parent just trying to stand up for their child and stop kids from bullying them that they get arrested?" the mother said. Copyright 2013 WFSB (Meredith Corporation). All rights reserved. Source:

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13 Click this link to see a video of a TV personality responding to a bullying . President Obama and Michelle Obama speak about bullying: Video news story about a middle school arrest for bullying: A girl with facial deformities responds to bullies in a video: A Federal Way middle school girl takes on bullying at her school: