George Michelogiannakis (level 3) Pro Tour San Diego 2010 judge seminar Based on What every body is saying by Joe Navarro

Transcription

1 George Michelogiannakis (level 3) Pro Tour San Diego 2010 judge seminar Based on What every body is saying by Joe Navarro

2 Introduction Body language transmits info without words. People control what they say better than their bodies. This seminar will briefly present how to use body language to read people. A useful skill in any social setting. Be careful what image you radiate: Often people sense that without knowing the theory behind body language. However, you must use it right. Interpret nonverbal signals as hints, nothing more. Can tell you where to investigate further. The first part of this seminar is the most important.

3 Follow the Ten Commandments Be a competent observer. Make the effort. Most people see, but do not observe. Observe in context. People will be shocked after a car accident. Likewise, new players often are nervous around judges. Learn to decode universal nonverbal behavior. Some behavior is found on most people. Learn to decode idiosyncratic nonverbal behavior. Detect behavioral patterns by observing people in a regular basis. Example: a person may most often deal with stress by scratching his head and biting his lips.

4 Follow the Ten Commandments Establish the baseline behavior of others. Note how they look normally, how they sit, etc. Detect changes from the baseline behavior. Ask yourself what caused those changes. Try to watch for behaviors that occur in clusters. Two more signs point the same way, the better. Learn to detect false signals. Sometimes they try to fake it (e.g. a smile). The difference between comfort and discomfort. Place signals in one of the two categories. Be subtle when observing others.

5 Living our Limbic Legacy From 1952, brain thought of as three parts: Reptalian (stem), mamalian (limbi) and human (neocortex). We will focus on the limbic brain. Because it reacts reflexively gives a true response. Limbic brain regulates behavior when in danger. However, responses have been modernized. Brain s response to danger has taken three forms: Freeze. Flight. Fight.

6 The Freeze Response Freeze to go undetected from predators. When people are threatened, they freeze. Also, people around us are inclined to mimic freezing. Example: During interview people hold very still. Can even be holding their breaths or breathing shallow. Example 2: Players stop moving when judges pass by if they feel threat (perhaps they did something illegal). Example 3: People questioned for a crime will fix their feet in a position and hold that position for an inordinate period of time. Example 4: Shoplifters try to hide their presence before they steal.

7 The Flight Response Second response: Flight. Distance ourselves from undesirable individuals or things. Could be by leaning away, placing objects on one s lap, turning feet towards nearest exit, etc. Example: Individual in negotiations may shift away if he hears an unattractive offer. Example 2: Same setting, individual closes or rubs eyes. This is blocking behavior.

8 The Fight Response Only course of action left is to fight. Turn fear into rage. But in modern forms. Example: Overheated argument (insults, sarcasm, etc). Example 2: Aggression without physical contact. Using posture, eyes, puffing out your chest, violating personal space. Fighting affects ability to think effectively. These signs can warn you when someone is about to harm you physically.

9 Comfort/Discomfort and Pacifiers Comfort -> nonverbal displays of high confidence. Likewise: discomfort -> low confidence. Whenever there is a limbic response to a negative experience, a pacifying behavior follows. Serves to calm us down. Confirms that the person was/is in discomfort. Recognize pacifiers. Establish pacifying baseline. When you detect a pacifier, ask yourself what caused it. Generally, pacifiers are caused by a stressful event. The greater the discomfort, more likely for pacifiers to follow. People have their personal favorite pacifiers.

10 Types of Pacifying Behaviors So many varieties. Can categorize by body part. Involving the neck. One of the most important. Area rich with nerve endings. When stroked, they reduce blood pressure, lower heart rate, calm individual down. Example: Rub back or side of neck. Men tend to be more robust: grasping or cupping their necks just beneath the chin. Women can manipulate a necklace. Or cover suprasternal notch. Involving the face. Also very important. Example: rubbing the forehead, touching or licking the lips, massaging the earlobe, stroking beard, etc.

11 Types of Pacifying Behaviors Involving sounds. Example: whistle when in a bad neighborhood. Yawning excessively. The leg cleanser. Place hands palm down on top of left. Then slide down the thighs towards the knee. The ventilator. Put fingers between neck collar and neck and pull.

12 Nonverbals of the Feets and Legs Feet and legs are the most honest body parts. Society teaches us to lie with our faces (poker face). But, they are often covered under a table. Happy feet. They wiggle and/or bounce joyfully. Watch out: It may signal impatience. When feet shift direction. We tend to turn towards things we like. Is also an intention cue for wanting to leave. Also intention: Knee-clasp. Gravity-defying behaviors. Example: heel on ground by toe pointing upward. Example 2: Elevate oneself.

13 Nonverbals of the Feets and Legs Leg splay (widening leg span when standing). Territorial display. Re-establishes situation control. Displays of high comfort: crossing legs. More powerful if the other person mirrors it. We subconsciously tilt towards the person we like most. Crossed legs can act as a barrier, or point to a person. Strong change in intensity of foot/leg movement. Foot jiggling to foot kicking: negative stimulus. Foot freeze (remember the freeze response?). Foot lock. Toes inwards, feet interlocked. Sign of stress. Tend to restrict arm/leg movement when lying.

14 Torso Tips Torso has many vital organs. The limbic brain wants to protect them. We lean away or rotate torsos away from dislikes. Ventral denial: shift or turn away. The torso shield. Crossing of arms around torso. Or placing an object, such as a pillow. Splaying out is a territorial posture. Shows disrespect and indifference to those in authority. Shoulder shrug. If both shoulders rise equally and sharply, the person is more committed. Turtle posture: Weak shoulder display.

15 Nonverbals of the Arms Insecure people restrain their arms. Arm withdrawal: arms come to our sides or chest. Arm distancing: hold unpleasant things at an arm s length. Act as barriers or for blocking. Arms behind back: I am of higher status. Do not come near me. Arm territorial displays. Spread them out. Arms akimbo (hands on hips. Arms as a V). Authoritative posture. Hooding effect. Hands behind head. Lean back. Dominance. I am in charge.

16 Nonverbals of the Arms Arm spread. More confidence: wider spread. Spread-out arms also high confidence. Demonstrate warmth by leaving your arms relaxed, preferably with ventral side exposed and perhaps even with the palm visible. Hello. I mean no harm. One of the best ways to establish rapport with someone is a touch in the arm.

17 Nonverbals of the Hands and Fingers Hiding your hands creates a negative impression. The handshake is a defining moment. Avoid hand gestures that may offend. Examples: Finger pointing. Snapping fingers. Self-preening is acceptable, but shows disrespect when you are supposed to be listening. Shaky hands indicate excitement or stress. Hand steepling is a high confidence tell. Resembles praying hands. If fingers become interlocked -> low confidence.

18 Thumb Displays Thumbs up indicates high confidence. Example: hands in pockets, thumb sticking out. Low confidence: thumbs in pocket, fingers out. When lying, people tend to gesture less, touch less and move their arms and legs less. Rubbing hands indicates in doubt (pacifier). Changes in hand behavior indicate state changes. Like hand withdrawal, or hand movement restrained.

19 Nonverbals of the Face Squinting, and facial contortions -> discomfort. Positive emotions: relaxation of muscles. Tilt head to the side: higher comfort. Eyes react also to emotions unconsciously. Pupils constrict when we don t like something. Many other forms of eye blocking to protect us. Eye gazing: indicates liking, curiousness or threat. Gaze away: comfort display. We focus on a thought. Blinking rate increases when we are not relaxed. Look askance: distrust what you hear.

20 Nonverbals of the Face False smile: lip corners sideways, not up. Disappearing lips indicate stress. Further stress: upside-down U. Lip purse: disagreement or thinking of alternative. Nail biting indicates stress, insecurity, discomfort. Stressed or upset: chin tends to not be high. Mixed signals: the negatives are more honest. Most immediate reaction usually more honest. Compare face signals with rest of body.

21 Detecting Deception Detecting deception is hard. Almost everyone has no better than a chance. However, when we tell the truth we are more comfortable. Also, we are more emphatic. First, establish comfort with the person. Observe baseline comfort behavior. Then, observe signs of discomfort. Standing up exposes the whole body. Notice those signs as they happen and find the cause. May provide you with a line of questioning to pursue.

22 Detecting Deception Look for synchrony between words and actions. Also, action should not be delayed. Emphasis: limbic brain supports what we say. Limited facial expression: lack of emphasis. The rogatory position asks to be believed. If you speak the truth, palms are usually down. Remember the shoulder shrug. However, the person may just be communicating poorly. Don t label anyone a liar. Remember, body language is a hint.

23 Quiz Time

24 Quiz Time

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