Grade 7 Writing. Personal Narrative Scoring Guide April 2014

Transcription

1 Grade 7 Writing Personal Narrative Scoring Guide April 2014 Copyright 2014, Texas Education Agency. All rights reserved. Reproduction of all or portions of this work is prohibited without express written permission from Texas Education Agency.

2 Grade 7 Writing Personal Narrative Prompt Look at the picture below. istockphoto.com/nicole Hofmann Sometimes we have to rely on ourselves to solve problems. Write a personal narrative about a time when you worked out a problem on your own. Be sure to write about your experience in detail and relate how this experience made you feel.

3 Personal Narrative Score Point 1 The narrative represents a very limited writing performance. Organization/Progression The form or structure of the narrative is inappropriate to the purpose or the specific demands of the prompt. The writer uses organizational strategies or literary devices that are only marginally suited to the narrative task, or they are inappropriate or not evident at all. Because the narrative is presented in a random or illogical way, the writer is not able to convey a sense of the experience. Many of the details do not contribute to the narrative. The writer s lack of focus on a specific personal experience weakens the unity and coherence of the narrative. The writer s narrative presentation is weak. Repetition or wordiness sometimes causes serious disruptions in the story line. At other times the lack of transitions and sentence-to-sentence connections makes one or more parts of the narrative unclear or difficult to follow. Development of Ideas The development of the narrative is weak because the details are inappropriate, vague, or insufficient. They do not contribute to the writer s portrayal of the experience. The narrative is insubstantial because the writer s response to the prompt is vague or confused. In some cases, the narrative as a whole is only weakly linked to the prompt. In other cases, the writer fails to establish a realistic situation, present motivations for behavior or actions, or show any awareness of changes or insights that developed as a result of the experience. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice may be vague or limited. It reflects little or no awareness of the narrative purpose. The word choice impedes the writer s ability to relate the experience clearly or to convey a sense of its importance or meaning. Sentences are simplistic, awkward, or uncontrolled, weakening the effectiveness of the narrative. The writer has little or no command of sentence boundaries and age-appropriate spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Serious and persistent errors create disruptions in the fluency of the writing and sometimes interfere with meaning. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division April 2014

4 April 2014 Personal Narrative 1 Score Point 1 The writer begins this response with a hypothetical situation about falling off a bike and then offers a number of general ideas about the best way to deal with life s challenges. Because the response is an explanation rather than a personal experience, the details are inappropriate to the narrative task, resulting in a very limited writing performance.

5 April 2014 Personal Narrative 2 Score Point 1 In this very limited response, the writer focuses on a time his chain broke while he was riding his bicycle. Although he maintains an appropriate narrative form and includes specific details about having the tool he needs to fix the bike, the numerous errors in word usage and absence of sentence boundaries disrupt the fluency of the writing. The student s lack of control at the word and sentence level causes the narrative to be ineffective.

6 April 2014 Personal Narrative 3 Score Point 1 In this unfocused response, the writer briefly recounts three times she fixed a problem by herself (snapping a toy back into place, cleaning up a mess, and fixing the chain on a scooter). However, these experiences are unrelated, and the abrupt shifts from one experience to another cause the narrative presentation to be weak. In addition, the lack of details about any of the experiences further weakens the development, resulting in a narrative that is insubstantial. Overall, this response represents a very limited writing performance.

7 April 2014 Personal Narrative 4 Score Point 1 In this ineffective narrative, the writer briefly describes her day, from waking up early to discovering the flat tire on her bicycle to getting the tire fixed to arriving at school in time to catch the bus for a field trip. Although the writer explains why she has to fix the flat tire by herself, the details about the actual event are too vague and insufficient to convey a sense of the experience or its importance. In addition, usage errors and the misspelling of age-appropriate words (I want out side, massed the bus, car was massed up, I was happy of myself) disrupt the fluency of the writing.

8 Personal Narrative Score Point 2 The narrative represents a basic writing performance. Organization/Progression The form or structure of the narrative is evident but may not always be appropriate to the purpose or responsive to the specific demands of the prompt. The writer uses organizational strategies or literary devices that are only somewhat suited to the narrative task. The writer is able to convey some sense of the experience but may not be able to communicate its importance or meaning. Some details do not contribute to the narrative. The writer may focus on a specific personal experience but may not sustain that focus, limiting the unity and coherence of the narrative. The writer s narrative presentation is inconsistent. Sometimes repetition or wordiness causes minor disruptions in the story line. At other times transitions and sentence-to-sentence connections are too perfunctory or weak to support the logical movement of the narrative or establish a link between the experience and its meaning. Development of Ideas The development of the narrative is minimal and remains at a surface level because there are few details, they are not always appropriate, or they are too general. For the most part, the details contribute only marginally to the writer s portrayal of the experience and provide the reader with little or no understanding of why this experience was meaningful. The narrative reflects little or no thoughtfulness. In some cases, the writer s response to the prompt is formulaic and demonstrates only a limited understanding of the writing task. In other cases, the writer establishes some elements of a realistic situation but may provide few motivations for behavior or actions. In addition, the writer may not address changes or insights that developed as a result of the experience. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice may be general or imprecise. It reflects a basic awareness of the narrative purpose. The word choice limits the writer s ability to relate the experience clearly or to convey a sense of its importance or meaning. Sentences are awkward or only somewhat controlled, limiting the effectiveness of the narrative. The writer demonstrates a partial command of sentence boundaries and ageappropriate spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Some distracting errors may be evident, at times creating minor disruptions in the fluency or meaning of the writing. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division April 2014

9 April 2014 Personal Narrative 5 Score Point 2 Focusing on a time when he was home alone and hungry, the writer recounts how he methodically searched for food and where he finally found pizza rolls. The development is minimal because the few details the writer includes about the search for food contribute only marginally to the writer s portrayal of the experience and do not provide the reader with any understanding of why this experience was meaningful. Overall, this personal narrative represents a basic writing performance.

10 April 2014 Personal Narrative 6 Score Point 2 In this basic writing performance, the writer describes being locked out of her house, sitting and waiting, remembering her brother s open window, and finally using the window to get into the house. However, the writer s description of her dilemma is somewhat wordy, and sentence-to-sentence connections are sometimes weak. Both of these problems cause minor disruptions in the story line. Details remain at a surface level and reflect little thoughtfulness. In addition, sentences are not always controlled, and some conventions and spelling errors are evident.

11 April 2014 Personal Narrative 7 Score Point 2 The writer focuses on a time he used a woodchip to dislodge the pebbles that were stuck in the pedals of his bike so he could ride to his aunt s home. However, the development is superficial because the writer provides few specific details about how he solved the problem. In addition, the details he includes in the last two paragraphs (how long he had ridden; his hopes of learning how to ride a skateboard or a car) do not contribute to his portrayal of the experience. Overall, this narrative is basic because it neither reflects any thoughtfulness nor does it communicate how the experience made the writer feel, except to say that it was a really fun time.

12 April 2014 Personal Narrative 8 Score Point 2 The writer of this basic writing performance tells the story of repairing a necklace rather than throwing it in the trash can. She establishes a realistic situation in the beginning of the second paragraph, but her description of fixing the necklace is general (Then I got what the problem was and fixed it), causing the development to remain at a surface level. However, her description of how she felt when the necklace broke and how her mother s reaction made her feel is stronger, allowing the writer to convey some sense of the experience overall.

13 Personal Narrative Score Point 3 The narrative represents a satisfactory writing performance. Organization/Progression The form or structure of the narrative is, for the most part, appropriate to the purpose and responsive to the specific demands of the prompt. The writer uses organizational strategies or literary devices that are adequately suited to the narrative task. The writer is able to clearly convey the experience and adequately communicate its importance or meaning. Most details contribute to the effectiveness of the narrative. The writer focuses on a specific personal experience and generally sustains that focus. The narrative is coherent, though it may not always be unified due to minor lapses in focus. The writer s narrative presentation is adequately controlled. For the most part, transitions are meaningful, and sentence-to-sentence connections are sufficient to support the logical movement of the narrative and establish a link between the experience and its meaning. Development of Ideas Specific details add some substance to the narrative. For the most part, these details contribute to the writer s portrayal of the experience and provide the reader with some understanding of why this experience was meaningful. The narrative reflects some thoughtfulness. The writer demonstrates a good understanding of the writing task by establishing a realistic situation, providing reasonable motivations for behavior or actions, and addressing (at least to some degree) changes or insights that developed as a result of the experience. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice is, for the most part, specific and concrete. It reflects an awareness of the narrative purpose. Generally effective word choice allows the writer to relate the experience clearly and to convey some sense of its importance or meaning. Sentences are varied and adequately controlled, for the most part contributing to the effectiveness of the narrative. The writer demonstrates an adequate command of sentence boundaries and ageappropriate spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Although some errors may be evident, they create few (if any) disruptions in the fluency of the writing, and they do not affect the clarity of the narrative. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division April 2014

14 April 2014 Personal Narrative 9 Score Point 3 The writer faces a problem when his two pet bunnies break the latch on their pen and escape. The writer uses dialogue and specific details to establish a realistic situation and move the story line forward. His concrete word choice reflects an awareness of the narrative purpose and allows him to clearly relate the experience. At the end of the narrative, the writer briefly reflects on the lessons he s learned. Overall, the writer demonstrates a good understanding of the narrative writing task.

15 April 2014 Personal Narrative 10 Score Point 3 In this satisfactory writing performance, the writer focuses on a time when she rearranges her room and cleans up her house after her dogs destroy a kitchen garbage can. She links these experiences in two ways: by placing them in the same time span (when her mother is at the grocery store) and by providing a transitional sentence in which she applies what she s learned from the first experience to the second (If I could rearrange my room by myself I could clean my house by myself). Because the writer links these experiences, she is able to add some substance to the essay. Overall, the writer includes details that contribute to the portrayal of the experience, and the narrative conveys a sense of why the writer was proud of herself.

16 April 2014 Personal Narrative 11 Score Point 3 The writer recounts the time he has to figure out how to help his mother when she collapses during an asthma attack. The narrative is narrowly focused, and the sentence-to-sentence connections sufficiently support its logical movement and establish a link between the experience and its meaning. Sentences are controlled, and specific language and details add some substance to the narrative (I pull myself from her tightening grip; After what seems like hours Relief sways over me). In the last paragraph the writer provides an extension that is separate from the narrative; however, this paragraph is unnecessary since the writer has woven the extension into the narrative itself by clearly conveying how he felt at each point during the experience.

17 April 2014 Personal Narrative 12 Score Point 3 In this concise narrative, the writer focuses on a time when he became lost while shopping with his mom in Walmart. In the first two paragraphs, the writer recounts the experience itself. Specific details provide the reader with a sense of the writer s panic at being lost and his relief at being reunited with his mom. In the last paragraph, the writer steps back from the details of the experience to reflect on the insights he gained from it. The combination of the experience and reflection demonstrates that the writer has a good understanding of the writing task. In addition, his word choice and control of sentences and conventions contribute to overall effectiveness of the narrative.

18 Personal Narrative Score Point 4 The narrative represents an accomplished writing performance. Organization/Progression The form or structure of the narrative is appropriate to the purpose and responsive to the specific demands of the prompt. The writer uses organizational strategies or literary devices that are particularly well suited to the narrative task. The writer is able to skillfully convey the experience and communicate its importance or meaning. All details contribute to the effectiveness of the narrative. The writer focuses on a specific personal experience and sustains that focus, strengthening the unity and coherence of the narrative. The writer s narrative presentation is well controlled. Meaningful transitions and strong sentence-to-sentence connections enhance the logical movement of the narrative and reinforce the link between the experience and its meaning. Development of Ideas Specific, well-chosen details add substance to the narrative. These details contribute significantly to the writer s portrayal of the experience and provide the reader with a clear understanding of why this experience was meaningful. The narrative is thoughtful and engaging. The writer demonstrates a thorough understanding of the writing task by establishing a realistic situation, providing plausible motivations for behavior or actions, and revealing changes or insights that developed as a result of the experience. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice is vivid and expressive. It reflects a keen awareness of the narrative purpose. Effective word choice enables the writer to recreate the experience in a way that conveys its importance or meaning. Sentences are purposeful, varied, and well controlled, enhancing the effectiveness of the narrative. The writer demonstrates a consistent command of sentence boundaries and ageappropriate spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Although minor errors may be evident, they do not detract from the fluency or clarity of the writing. The overall strength of the conventions contributes to the effectiveness of the narrative. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division April 2014

19 April 2014 Personal Narrative 13 Score Point 4 This accomplished writing performance focuses on the day the writer got lost in a grocery store. She wastes no space, launching right into the narrative from the first sentence. Vivid, expressive word choice and well-controlled sentences add substance and a sense of authenticity. During the time she is lost, the writer uses internal monologue to reveal her emotions as well as her thought process, allowing the reader to visualize the entire experience. In the concluding paragraph, she offers a brief but thoughtful reflection on the impact of the experience on her and her mother.

20 April 2014 Personal Narrative 14 Score Point 4 In this accomplished narrative, the writer recounts the resourceful way she and her friend Isabel avoided a nest of wasps in the tree house. The writer establishes a realistic situation and provides specific, well-chosen details to reveal her reaction to the discovery of the nest and the reason for her motivation to escape. Strong sentence-to-sentence connections allow the writer to craft a skillfully paced narrative that is engaging and thoughtful. In addition, a consistent command of conventions contributes to the effectiveness of the narrative presentation.

21 April 2014 Personal Narrative 15 Score Point 4 The writer tells about the time he was inspired to help sick children by selling lemonade to raise money for St. Jude Hospital. The specific description of the TV commercial in the opening paragraph establishes the writer s motivation to make a donation. The specific details he includes from setting up the lemonade stand to counting the money he made to sending off his donation contribute significantly to his portrayal of this experience and communicate why it was so meaningful to him. Overall, this narrative represents an accomplished writing performance.

22 April 2014 Personal Narrative 16 Score Point 4 This skillfully crafted narrative focuses on a predicament the writer has created for herself by failing to learn the performance piece for her piano recital. In the first paragraph, she conveys the seriousness of her problem by imagining herself attempting to play a song she does not know. The narrative presentation is well controlled, with strong sentence-tosentence connections that reinforce the relationship between the experience and its meaning. Specific, well-chosen details, such as the personification of the piano pedals, contribute significantly to the writer s portrayal of the experience. In addition, her purposeful sentences and strong conventions enhance the overall effectiveness of the narrative.