WRITING SAMPLES B2 Writing Part 2 Pass

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1 B2 Communicator level Writing Part 2 Pass Writing Part 2 You ve been discussing the sea in your English class. Write a composition about The sea what I think about it and how it makes me feel. Write between 150 and 200 words.

2 Part 2 Answer 3 (Pass) The sea One of greatest and the most beautiful thing is the world. I remember well the earth s 80% is salt water. I includs not just seas but of course the three big oceans too. First of all the has wonderful animals, seafruits and environmental. Lot of different types of such lives there. They like swimming together in small groups. Similar spieces like hunting together as well. Secondly, I would like to mention that under the blue water live some dangerous animal too. For instance white sharks are really frightening. I fare of them. Moreover not just that animals exist there. Here you can finde dolphines. They are swimming just like they are dancing in the cold, blue water. Of course these are just some examples from the beautiful sea live in a nutshell. Furthermore I would like to inform you as they gave their opinions. Furthermore I would like to inform you how I feel about that. For me the sea is amazing. I have had a chance to visit some of them. For example when I was in Croatia and Italy. We went to a cruise with a huge boat. I have seen dolphins as well. It was great and fastinating, but for me this is not the best part of the sea, because I have some experience of diving. It was more enjoyable than just sitting in a boat. I could see what the underground life like in the water. It made me feel free and calm. I could swim together those wonderful animals ( as I told you) what I have just seen on TV. it. It is a beautiful feeling to go diving and see the sea. If you can afford it do not miss

3 Pass Task fulfilment Grammar Vocabulary Structure The topic is adequately expanded The layout and structure reflects the genre requested Good range of grammar used, reasonably accurately Good range of grammar used with a small number of errors Effective use of linking words (e.g. First of all, secondly, furthermore) There are some awkward sentence structures that make the text difficult to understand at times (e.g. I fare of them, Furthermore I would like to inform you as they gave their opinions) Make sure you use a range of linking devices to create a logical link between sentences and paragraphs Make sure you use some linking adverbials to create complex sentences (e.g. in spite of, despite, although, even though, provided)

4 Improved version The sea The sea is one of the greatest and the most beautiful things in the world. I have learnt that 80% of the earth is covered by salt water. This figure includes not just the seas, but, of course, the three big oceans, too. First of all, the sea has wonderful animals, seafood and environment. A lot of different types of animals live there. They like swimming together in small groups. Similar species like hunting together as well. Secondly, I would like to mention that some dangerous animals live under the surface of the blue water, too. For instance, white sharks are really frightening. I am afraid of them. Moreover, not just those animals exist there, but you can also find dolphins there. They swim as if they were dancing in the cold, blue water. Of course these are just some examples from the beautiful sea life in a nutshell. Furthermore, I would like to inform you how I feel about the sea. For me, the sea is amazing. I have had a chance to visit some of them, for example, when I was in Croatia and Italy. We went on a cruise on a huge boat. I have seen dolphins as well. It was great and fascinating, but for me this is not the best part of the sea, because I have some experience of diving. It was more enjoyable than just sitting in a boat. I could see what the underground life in the water was like. It made me feel free and calm. I could swim together with those wonderful animals (as I told you) that I have just seen on TV. It is a beautiful feeling to go diving and see the sea. If you can afford it, do not miss it.

5 Part 2 Answer 4 (Pass) The sea what I think about it and how it makes me feel. I think the sea makes me silent. I often travel to the sea with my parents. When I am at the beach and nobody is there, just me, I sometimes think about the things, which happening around me. It s good to know, that there s a place where I can be myself and don t do anything. Just thinking. I have been to the Atlantic Ocean, when I was in America, and I have been to the North Sea too. On the other hand I think the sea could be rude, but just sometimes. For example if there s a storm. But it can quickly calm down after it. All in all I think the sea makes me calm and if I can do it I go to the beach to holiday. Pass Task fulfilment Grammar Vocabulary Structure The text is shorter than the minimum word count The topic is not expanded adequately enough The text mostly focuses on the how it makes me feel aspect of the instructions You don t have to count every word to make sure you have written enough. Just count the first 3 lines and divide it by 3 to get your average word per line, so that it will be enough to count the lines Good range of grammar used, reasonably accurately (e.g. present perfect, relative clause, modal auxiliaries, causative) Good range of grammar used with a small number of errors A range of complex and compound clauses used (e.g. relative clause, adverbial clauses) correctly Effective use of linking words (e.g. all in all, on the other hand)

6 Improved version The sea what I think about it and how it makes me feel. I think the sea makes me silent. I often travel to the sea with my parents. When I am at the beach and nobody is there, just me, I sometimes think about the things, which happen around me. It s good to know that there s a place where I can be by myself and do nothing, just think. I have been to the Atlantic Ocean when I was in America, and I have been to the North Sea, too. On the other hand, I think the sea could be rude, but just sometimes, for example, if there s a storm. But it can quickly calm down after it. All in all, I think the sea makes me calm and if I can do it, I go to the beach on holiday.

7 Part 2 Answer 5 (Pass) The sea is the strongest power in the world. It s huge and it rules everything. The life started from the sea and if i f we follow the Bible it can take it back. I ve watched a film in the TV about oceans. There was an intersting statics about the living organisations in the Earth. We only know the 30% of it because the most lives under the seas. That thing shows that how little is our knowledge about the seas. First time when I saw the sea I was 12. We traveled by car with my family to croatia. The highway wasn t redy yet and we came from a turny little road what was in a forrest. It was night so we couldn t see anything but b in a corn I could see the sea and over it there was the full moon and I could see the silver bride on the top of the water. It was love for the first look. Sice this situation I allways want to go to seas or oceans. I don t care about montains, rivers or o any beautiful place just the sea shores and Ireland or ship tours. I think the sea is the beautiest thing in the world. Task fulfilment Grammar Vocabulary Structure Topic is fully expanded Good range of grammar used, reasonably accurately (e.g. superlative adjectives, present perfect, past simple, modal auxiliaries) Adequate range of vocabulary used, but with a relatively large number of errors with some very basic spelling errors (e.g. allways, forrest, montains, interesting, redy, sice) There are some incorrect use of words (e.g. an interesting statics, turny little road) Use the monolingual dictionary to check your text for grammatical/vocab ulary errors, prepositions, past participles, spelling and collocations in particular A range of complex and compound clauses attempted, but the high number of errors result in a high infavourable impression The text is difficult to follow due to the high number of errors No attempt to use linking words Make sure you use a range of linking devices to create a logical link between sentences and paragraphs

8 Improved version The sea is the strongest power in the world. It s huge and it rules everything. Life started from the sea and if we follow the Bible, it can take it back. I ve watched a film about oceans on TV. There were interesting statistics about living organisms on the Earth. We only know the 30% of it because most live under the sea. This shows how little our knowledge about the seas is. First time I saw the sea was when I was 12. We travelled by car with my family to Croatia. The highway wasn t ready yet and we came from a winding little road that was in a forest. It was night so we couldn t see anything, but in a corner I could see the sea and over it there was the full moon, and I could see the silver bridge on the top of the water. It was love at first sight. Since this situation I have always wanted to go to the sea or ocean. I don t care about mountains, rivers or any other beautiful places, just the sea shores and Ireland or ship tours. I think the sea is the most beautiful thing in the world.

9 Part 2 Answer 6 (First Class Pass) The sea what I think about it and how it makes me feel The first thing that comes in my mind when I hear the word sea is that I always wanted to see the Pacific ocean. Here in Hungary we don t have any sea, only lakes. However the lake Balaton is called the hungaryan sea it is not like the same as the white sandy beach of a tropical island. Hopefully if I can find a good job and earn enough money, I can goo on a tropical vacation for a few weeks. I would realy enjoy swimming in the sea, laying in the sun all day and eating exotic dishes and watching the sunset over the water when the day ends. Of course this is just a dream. By look of things I will have to work for years to save so much money and even if I will have the money I can think of a million other things that are more important then a week on that beautifull tropical beach. Because of this I am always a little bit sad when I think of the sea, but at least the hungaryan sea is here for me. First Class Pass Task fulfilment Grammar Vocabulary Structure Adequate range of grammar used with some errors (e.g. beautifull, hungaryan, more important then, I can goo on a tropical vacation, realy) Use the monolingual dictionary to check your text for grammatical errors, prepositions, past participles, spelling and collocations in particular

10 Improved version The sea what I think about it and how it makes me feel The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word sea is that I have always wanted to see the Pacific Ocean. Here in Hungary we don t have any seas, only lakes. Although Lake Balaton is called the Hungarian sea, it is not the same as the white sandy beach of a tropical island. Hopefully if I can find a good job and earn enough money, I can go on a tropical vacation for a few weeks. I would really enjoy swimming in the sea, lying in the sun all day, eating exotic dishes and watching the sunset over the water when the day ends. Of course this is just a dream. By the look of things I will have to work for years to save so much money and even if I have the money I can think of a million other things that are more important than a week on that beautiful tropical beach. Because of this, I am always a little bit sad when I think of the sea, but at least the Hungarian sea is here for me.

11 Part 2 Answer 7 (First Class Pass) The sea, which mainly covers our Earth, should be saved for the future. This huge amount of salty water must be very important for everybody who lives on this planet. It gives us water, food and fun. Millions of fish live in it, which provide us with foos, which is healthy. I can not imagine my summer holiday without the beach where I usually go to relax with my family. I like its smell, I like to swim in it and play with my son in the water or just relay and have a sunbath. I have never tried sailing, but I also would like to try it in my life. Unfortunatelly fishing industry destroys the living animals in the sea. Can anybody imagine the sea without any fish or plant? I think it is not possible. The sea which is a good place to relax can be very dangerous too. I have herad many bad stories about ships which got in problem when a storm or a hurricane came. So, I think the sea can be nice, it is a good place for summer holiday but we have to take it seriously and save it for the future and give the same memories for our children what we have about the sea. First Class Pass Task fulfilment Grammar Vocabulary Structure

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