Room LL - B Room LL - C Room LL - D. Jim Y. Emotional Sobriety and Giving Up the Ghosts. Your Recovery

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1 Welcome to Gratitude and Abundance in Relationships Kaiser Oakland Medical Center Schedule 8:00 9:00 Registration Yoga offered in Room C Continental breakfast 9:00 9:30 Conference Opening Session Room B 9:45-10:45 Room LL - B Room LL - C Room LL - D Ron W. - Deeper Into Life: Tom S. - Peeling the Onion Carrie W. - Co-sponsor Reclaiming Our Authentic meetings: How They Work Experience 11:00-12:00 Kati, Ken, Mark, and Wendy - To Speak and Not to Speak Jim Y. Emotional Sobriety and Giving Up the Ghosts Misha S. - Loving Kindness and Gratitude for Self 2:15-3:30 Keir J. - Working the Program Anthony - Digital Tools and Your Recovery Derek H. - Turning Criticism and Defensiveness into Vulnerability 3:45 4:00 Conference Closing Session Room B See next pages for detailed description of presentation content and speaker 12-Step experience 1

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3 Session 1 9:45 10:45 9:45 B Ron W. Deeper Into Life: Reclaiming Our Authentic Experience Many codependents have adapted to their dysfunctional families by surrendering full experience of life. We will first explore the many ways this can happen: e.g. physical-emotional violence, family rules, role reversal. Next we will take up how the tools of the program help us undo this and go deeper into life, reclaiming a fuller experience. We will work in pairs much of the time, using mirroring to share and receive reflection. Ron W. credits the CoDA Program for helping him release shame he learned in childhood about wanting anything for himself. He has learned through program to set better boundaries, ask for what he needs and understand better what healthy relationships look like. He is in his 12th year of working the program. 9:45 C Tom S. Peeling the Onion Like the onion's tough outer layer, our protective coping patterns hide the sweet core of our true selves. If as a child we were controlled or rejected, coerced, indulged, or abandoned, our recovery inventories can be difficult or even painful. Do I avoid, or compulsively pursue relationships? In this workshop we'll move inside, peel away denial and resistance, and become aware of the patterns that prevent intimacy with ourselves, our higher power, and others. Tom S. (San Jose) carries a 14-year CoDA chip and gratitude that 12-Step recovery helps him overcome compulsive patterns and seek God's will. He previously presented on Steps 2 & 3, and has done years of service in local meetings. 9:45 D Carrie W. Co-sponsor meetings: How They Work Scott M. 3

4 Session 2 11:00 12:00 Starting Room Leaders Topic 11:00 B Kati, Ken, To Speak and Not to Speak Mark, Wendy Many CoDA success stories shared in meetings and fellowship focus on our newfound abilities to speak our truth in times and places where it has been difficult and painful to do so in the past. Other success stories deal with moments when we respect our boundaries and intentions by choosing not to speak at all, or to speak in ways that steer us away from engaging in unhealthy interactions. This workshop will include short remarks from each member of a small panel followed by time spent writing and discussing in small groups. A handout with writing prompts will offer a framework for the small groups to reflect on and discuss these topics. Kati came to CoDA about 3 ½ years ago with a long list of chaos in my life. As the youngest of 4 children I was caregiver to all in my family and the family I created. My family taught me my unhealthy behaviors which kept me safe as a child, today I nourish my inner child working my program. I am me and I am connected to my divine source. My chaos list has shifted from overwhelming responsibility and stress to new healthy behaviors using detachment with love, safe boundary setting and developing my courage to speak up and trust myself. I am truly grateful for this life. Ken B. came to CoDA in 2014, although I had been aware for several years that I lived codependent patterns, especially in my family life. I have found the patterns and characteristics a powerful tool to name what is going on, and the steps a powerful process to help treat myself, and others with compassion. I have made significant progress in my ability to identify, set and respect boundaries as a result of being on CoDA. I am more able to ask for help when I need it. Mark B. discovered CoDA just over 4-1/2 years ago. My life was clearly unmanageable: divorce on the horizon, financial difficulties & an elderly parent that had just taken a fall. For years I made others my higher power or had no higher power at all. I always looked outside myself. In CoDA I found that I needed to look within and find a power greater than myself not with others. Through meetings, the tools, the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions, Sponsorship and Service I am able to give away what has been so graciously given to me. I now enjoy a peace, serenity and faith that high power is guiding me. Is it 100% of the time? No, but it is far greater that I could imagine when I first walked through the door to CoDA. Wendy E., a child of a dysfunctional family, developed many deeply rooted codependent ways. In my 40s, through therapy and self-help books, I was able to develop healthier habits. However, my personal growth has risen to new levels since I discovered CoDA in early 2014 and began working the steps with a family group. Now, much of the time, I am able to speak my truth and take responsibility for only me, and allow others to do the same. (Session 2 continues on the next page) 4

5 Session 2 11:00 12:00 (cont.) 11:00 C Jim Y. Emotional Sobriety and Giving Up the Ghosts Emotional Sobriety and Giving Up the Ghosts is a workshop that illustrates and describes how growing up in dysfunctional homes has nurtured life defeating survival skills and core beliefs that were sorely needed as children but no longer are needed or effective as adults. Solutions are introduced to heal the emotional wounds that severely hinder the recovery process. Jim is currently traveling the road of personal freedom and happiness by practicing life affirming choices. He shares his experience, strength and hope by listening and sharing through service. He believes that everyone can benefit by lending and taking a helping hand in today s rapidly changing world ~ especially to those who suffer and are lost. 11:00 D Misha S. Loving Kindness and Gratitude for Self Have you done a fourth step? We all have character defects but we also have some wonderful positive characteristics! It seems, however, that as codependents we find it much easier to identify our negatives. In this workshop, we will do a fourth step applying the power of positive self-talk. We will identify our assets by playing a couple of games, role-playing, personal reflection time, writing a letter and meditating. Please bring paper and pencil (or pen) and a desire to love yourself. Hopefully, when you leave, you will have tools to help you love yourself and have gratitude for your being on a daily basis. Misha S. is a grateful recovering codependent. My 12-step life began in October, 1992, with my first CoDA meeting that was unsatisfactory. So, I decided to live in denial that I had anything to do with my off and on misery until July of 2009 when I found CoDA again. I have now found the love of self and all that goes with it. Even with 7 years in program, I accept that with each day, I am a newcomer. I attend many meetings a week. I do my step-work as suggested by my sponsors. I am a sponsor. I hold service positions. I am aware and accept that my life is better when I am in program and that doing the work, no matter how hard it can be, will continue to bring the promises to fruition in my life! 5

6 Session 3 (cont.) 2:15 3:30 2:15 B Keir J. Working the Program What does working the program mean?!? In CoDA, working the program means working there are actions to take that build momentum towards recovery! The structure and tools of the program are out there awaiting folks to pick them up and begin making changes in their lives! This workshop is for those who seek to better their understanding around the tools of the program- what can be done, beyond attending meetings, to work the 12 Step Program of Codependents Anonymous. How do we begin to change our lifestyle, our beliefs, behaviors, and choice-making capacities? Find out! Bring a pen/writing pad. Keir J. is Northern California CoDA s Sponsorship Chair and Greater Sacramento Area CoDA Community s Chairperson. He is a sponsee and a sponsor and continues to work an active lifestyleoriented program of recovery daily. He has given workshops on the 30 Questions Sponsorship Tool, How to Listen to God, Examining the Seeds of Codependency, and Why Healthy Meetings Matter. He has been working the 12 Steps with sponsors and sponsees for seven and a half years. 2:15 C Anthony Digital Tools and Your Recovery Join me for an exploration of not only the contemporary tools you may consider using to support your recovery, but also the ideas of anonymity and information security in the digital age. More than four years ago Anthony stepped into a CoDA meeting. I couldn t have conceived of how CoDA would crack the door open to being on a spiritual path, to the discovery of being an Adult Child, and how it would result in the exploration of the judgmental never good enough inner critic. By going to meetings regularly, meditation, having AND being a sponsor, and working the Steps, I view the program as the blessing in my life today. 2:15 D Derek H. Turning Criticism and Defensiveness into Vulnerability 6

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