Coping With Puberty Early Adolescent Boys
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1 Coping With Puberty Early Adolescent Boys in By Stacy Blankenbuehler, PhD, HSPP Child Psychologist
2 What is Puberty? Berk (1996) states that puberty is a flood of biological events leading to an adult-sized body and sexual maturity. There is no other time, other than infancy, in a human being s development that so many changes take place in such a short amount of time.
3 Remember your child in infancy? Development is not linear. The early stages of puberty can occur from age in males (8-14 in females). So there is a wide range of normal.
4 Physical Signs of Puberty Early adolescents are starting to grow and their bodies are starting to turn into adult bodies. They are experiencing hormonal changes which are fluxes in growth hormones and testosterone. These hormones cause Muscle growth Broadening of the shoulders Growth of penis and testicles Pubic, underarm, and body hair Increase in sex drive
5 Coping With Physical Changes Eating Healthy Foods Healthy proteins Mom s meatloaf vs. a Quarter Pounder (or 2!) Discuss shaving Typically not until after 15 Growing out of clothing Setting a curfew
6 Behavioral Signs of Puberty Early adolescents are becoming more independent. They want to make their own choices and are less likely to comply. They want to do things on their own and not be with family.
7 Behavioral Signs of Puberty Continued Adolescents want to develop same age friendships and their behaviors are based on choices they make to fit in. Clothing choices Music choices Activity choices Peer pressure is often times indirect. Who are they hanging out with? Girls at puberty
8 Behavioral Signs of Puberty Continued They have a fragile self-image during this stage and worry about being normal, being attractive May become preoccupied with sex or worrying about nocturnal ejaculation ( wet dreams ). These worries often are manifested in irritability or seeming short-tempered.
9 Behavioral Signs of Puberty Continued Early adolescents often feel watched. Have magical thinking about solutions to problems and their role in them. Need to address myths They start thinking about sex and may masturbate. They test limits and exaggerate personal problems.
10 How to Cope with Puberty Family rules: Eat dinner together as a family. Teens who eat with their families 2x/week or less are 72% more likely to use cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. Teens who eat with their family 5-6 nights a week are 31% less likely to use drugs/alcohol. Screen Time Tokens. This is a strategy used to reduce sedentary activities such as video games, computer time, television viewing time while increasing compliance with chores and encouraging exercise.
11 Communicating with your son: Find the activity that promotes boys communication (walking the dog together, shooting hoops, driving in the car, etc.). Be direct when communicating and use them as consultants and problems solvers (Kindlon and Thompson, 1999) Instead of How are you feeling? ask How angry are you? What would your friend have done in that situation? What have you heard about..? Give bottom line first then fill in the details (Miron & Miron, 2001) Use a condom every time then fill in the details Avoid being reactionary and solving problems FOR them.
12 Communicating with your son cont d: Compliment them for implementing values. It s very loyal of you to cover for your friend I appreciate your honesty. Understand that anger is usually bred from shame (teacher or parents criticism, rejection from a crush). It can also mask fear or sadness, both feelings that threaten a boy s masculinity. Take their thoughts and fears seriously
13 What Does it Mean to be a Man? Teach boys that emotional courage IS courage, and that courage and empathy are the sources of real strength in life. (Kindlon and Thompson, 1999, p 249) There are many ways to be a man Giving to charities Helping others Helping him understand his vulnerability is human and accepting it.
14 Watch for Signs of Mental Health Problems Impairment in functioning Drop in grades Abrupt change of peer group Major conflicts with parents Change in sleep patterns Change in eating patterns/appetite Breaking rules (truancy, skipping classes, stealing, unsafe sex, drugs, alcohol) Neglected appearance. Sudden happiness after a depression
15 Resources/References Caring for Kids: Useful Information & Hard to Find Facts About Child Health & Development by Riley Hospital for Children Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Kindlon and Thompson How to Talk With Teens About Love, Relationships, and S-E-X by Amy and Charles Miron The Boys Body Book by Kelli Dunham Teens.webmd.com
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