Chapter 5 A Break With The Past

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1 Eileen s notes Chapters 5-12 Principle-Centered Leadership by Stephen Covey Chapter 5 A Break With The Past Covey s goal in Principle-Centered Leadership is to create a paradigm shift in management training. Leaders can transform their organizations and their people by communicating vision, clarifying purposes, making behavior congruent with belief and aligning procedures with principles, roles and goals. Covey Training Design process, not product oriented. 1. Gather & diagnose data 2. Select priorities, values & objectives. 3. Identify & evaluate alternatives 4. Plan & decide action steps. 5. Compare results w/original goals and objectives. Three Great Forces old habits have a tremendous pull. Change is difficult. Three great forces ground us to our bad habits: 1. Appetite & passion 2. Pride & pretension 3. Aspiration & ambition Chapter 6 Six Days of Creation Covey likens the creation of professional skills to the creation of the world in Genesis. In Genesis, the earth was created in six days. Each day was important. The sequence was important. There are no short-cuts in the development of professional skills. No amount of dressing for success will compensate for lack of skill and judgment. Borrowing strength builds weakness. Don t be emotionally immature. An emotionally immature person will tend to borrow strength from position, size, strength, experience, intellect or emotions to make up for a character imbalance. Chapter 7- Seven Deadly Sins 1. Wealth without work 2. Pleasure without conscience 3. Knowledge without character 4. Commerce (business) without morality (ethics) 5. Science without humanity 6. Religion without sacrifice 7. Politics without principle 1

2 If there is no principle there is no true north. Chapter 8 Moral Compassing Moral compassing is needed when managing in the wilderness of changing times. Having a moral compass, your true north is more important than a map. Principles are like a compass. A compass has a true north that is objective and external, that reflects natural laws or principles. Patience Fairness Service Kindness Universal Beliefs Quality Honesty Integrity Charity Dignity An accurate map is a good management tool, but a compass is a leadership and an empowerment tool. If you focus on principles, you empower everyone who understands those principals to act without, monitoring, evaluating, correcting or controlling. Principles have universal application. Chapter 9 Principle Centered Power Three Types of Power: 1. Coercive Power followers follow out of fear they are afraid of what might happen to them if they don t obey. 2. Utility Power followers follow because of the benefits that come to them if they do. Power in the relationship is based on the useful exchange of goods and services. Most organizations are held together in this way. 3. Principle-Centered Power - followers believe in the leader and what he or she is trying to accomplish. The leader is trusted and respected. Followers trust the leader. The Leadership Choice - Whenever a problem or opportunity arises that requires the involvement of other people, the leader must make choices. He/she must decide on a power base coercion, utility, or principles. Ten Power Tools 10 suggestions for processes and principles that will increase a leader s honor & power: 1. Persuasion 2. Patience 2

3 3. Gentleness 4. Teachableness 5. Acceptance 6. Kindness 7. Openness 8. Compassionate confrontation 9. Consistency 10. Integrity Chapter 10 Clearing Communication Lines At the root of most communication problems are perception or credibility problems. I m right and you re wrong if you disagree with me. Perception problems are often the root of personality conflicts. Attitudes and Behaviors (P.10) Certain attitudes and behaviors are essential to clearing communications lines. Attitudes I assume good faith; I do not question your sincerity or your sanity. I care about our relationship and want to resolve this difference in perception. I am open to influence and am prepared to change. Behaviors Listen to understand. Speak to be understood. Start dialogue from a common point of reference or point of agreement, and move slowly into areas of disagreement. Sympathy & Empathy Giving full attention, being completely present, striving to transcend one s autobiography, and seeking to see things from another s point of view takes courage, patience, and inner sources of security. It means being open to new learning and to change. It means moving into the minds and hearts of others to see the world as they see it. It does not mean that you feel as they feel. That is sympathy. Rather not means that you understand how they feel based on how they see the world. That is empathy. (p.116) Chapter 11 Thirty Methods of Influence Three basic categories of influence: I. To model by example (others see) II. To build caring relationships (others feel) III. To mentor by instruction (others hear) 3

4 I. Who You Are And How You Act 1. Refrain from saying the unkind or negative thing. 2. Exercise patience with others. 3. Distinguish between the person and the behavior. 4. Perform anonymous service. 5. Choose the proactive response, 6. Keep promises 7. Focus on the circle of influence 8. Live the law of love. II. Relationship: Do You Understand and Care? 9. Assume the best of others. 10. Seek first to understand. 11. Reward open, honest expressions or questions. 12. Give an understanding response. 13. If offended, take the initiative. 14. Admit your mistakes, apologize and ask for forgiveness. 15. Let arguments fly out open windows. 16. Go one on one. 17. Renew your commitment to things you have in common. 18. Be influenced by them first. 19. Accept the person and the situation. III. Instruction: What You Tell Me 20. Prepare your mind and heart before you prepare your speech. 21. Avoid fight or flight talk through differences. 22. Recognize and take time to teach. 23. Agree on the limits, rules, expectations, and consequences. 24. Don t give up, and don t give in. 25. Be there at the crossroads. 26. Speak the language of logic and emotion. 27. Delegate effectively. 28. Involve people in meaningful projects. 29. Train them in the law of the harvest. 30. Let natural consequences teach responsible behavior. Overcoming Three Big Mistakes Mistake # 1 Advise before understand. Mistake #2 Attempt to build/rebuild relationship without changing conduct or attitude. Mistake #3 Assume that good example and relationship are sufficient. Chapter 12 Eight Ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships Professional successes can t compensate for failures in marriage and family relationships. 4

5 Applying the following eight principle-based practices will revitalize and enrich your family relationships: 1. Retain a long-term perspective. 2. Rescript your marriage and your family. 3. Reconsider your roles. 4. Reset your goals. 5. Realign family systems. 6. Refine three vital skills. Time management, communication, and problem solving. 7. Regain internal security. 8. Develop a family mission statement. Sharpen the Saw Cultivate the habit of sharpening the saw physically, mentally and spiritually each day. We must never get so busy sawing that we don t take the time to sharpen the saw. 5

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