Guidelines For The Christian Marriage

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1 Guidelines For The Christian Marriage I Corinthians 13: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

2 Contents Introduction Guidelines and Procedures for the Wedding Service Counseling Special Requirements for all Church Weddings Decorations and use of the Church Arrangements Wedding Fees Reception Wedding Checklist

3 Introduction You are about to enter the highest human relationship, Christian Marriage. God has ordained that a man and a woman may enter into marriage together, pledging their love and promising fidelity each to the other, as long as both shall live. Instinctively you have turned to God and to the church as the setting to affirm this new covenant. In order to increase the meaning and depth of your wedding service, we are offering the following information as a guide in planning the details of this sacred event Guidelines and Procedures for The Wedding Service The Christian marriage ceremony is a service of worship before God, normally conducted within the sanctuary of God. The mood, atmosphere and contents of the service are to be in keeping with the statement of the wedding vows, "Before God and these witnesses." The service will be planned with careful thought and preparation in consultation with the minister and the wedding coordinator. The date and time of the wedding and all rehearsals are coordinated with the church calendar and are approved by the staff. A visiting minister may conduct a wedding in the church with the approval of the Session (the governing board). All requirements set by the church and the State of Washington are to be fully met Reverence is expected on the part of all present.

4 Counseling The couple will participate with the minister in conversations about Christian marriage. Counseling appointments are required prior to the wedding. For Couples Outside Jefferson County Couples requesting to be married who live outside Jefferson County will be encouraged to participate in Pre-Marriage Seminar offered by the Presbyterian Counseling Service or an approved substitute. The seminars are offered in several locations in King and Snohomish Counties. Ask the church for information. In addition, the minister will meet with the couple once or twice before the wedding. All church and minister fees remain the same. Special Requirements for All Church Weddings Music: Organist: A Christian marriage ceremony is a service of worship before God. Appropriate music should be chosen in consultation with the presiding minister and the organist. Our church organist will ordinarily play for weddings. If, for whatever reason this is not possible, an approved substitute can be retained. Other organists or musicians requested must have prior approval of the church organist. Arrangements for a soloist, other musicians, are the responsibility of the wedding couple, and all fees for their services are payable directly to them.

5 Wedding Coordinator The wedding coordinator will assist the couple with details of the wedding plans. Decorations & Use of the Church The sanctuary furnishings are not to be removed or rearranged except with approval by the coordinator and our minister. Decorations shall be coordinated with the wedding coordinator. When candelabra are used, they must be equipped with dripless candles and a protective covering placed over the carpet. If candles are desired for the communion table, they too must be dripless. Families of the bride and groom are responsible for clearing and removing all flowers and special decorations in the sanctuary following the service, and helping move furniture back into place if necessary. It is important that a member of the wedding party be assigned to make sure all personal belongings are picked up and removed following the service. The church cannot assume responsibility for any property lost. Photographs are permitted throughout the ceremony if a flash is not used. (A flash is detracting.) Flash pictures of the bride and father entering the sanctuary and the couple leaving are permissible. A silent video camera may be used. No food or drink is permitted in the sanctuary

6 Arrangements The Church Furnishes: Candelabra Candle lighters and snuffers Aisle candleholders Kneeling bench Flower Baskets Dressing rooms for the bridal party Nursery (see Wedding Fees.) The Bridal Party Furnishes: All decorations Food items Servers

7 Wedding Fees Call (360) or church office for current fees Balance of fees are due to the Office Manager no more than seven days prior to wedding A deposit of $ is required to secure the church calendar. (This is paid at the church office.) Wedding fee includes the following: 1. Use of the sanctuary and preparation rooms for wedding and rehearsal. 2. Minister's honorarium and pre-marriage counseling. 3. Organist. Includes the wedding, one rehearsal, and help in planning the music. (One half hour consultation.) There are additional charges for extra consultation time and extra rehearsals 4. Wedding Coordinator. Will plan, guide, and coordinate events the day of rehearsal and wedding; will make suggestions as needed to accomplish desired results. 5. Custodian. Will clean and prepare for the wedding and clean and set in order following the service.

8 The Wedding Fees do not include the following: 1. Soloist. Fee to be paid by the Bride and Groom. 2. Use of the Nursery. (Includes babysitter for four hours). 3. Use of the Fellowship Hall and Kitchen for receptions 4. Use of the Kitchen including custodian. 5. Visiting clergy, if required. A damage deposit of $ must be paid at time of reservation. Deposit will be returned if there are no damages. NO SMOKING or ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES are permitted in the church building or on church property. No throwing of rice or bird seed in the building or near the entrance to the church. The Wedding Coordinator is responsible for the enforcement of these guidelines and the interpretation of church policy.

9 Reception Fees Your reception may be arranged by our wedding coordinator. However, if you wish some other arrangements, we require that an Event Monitor (trained representative of the church) be present during the reception and its preparation. There is an additional charge for the Event Monitor. Items available for use at a reception. The wedding coordinator will advise you of charges. Basket for the groom's cake Table for the wedding cake Lace tablecloths for the tea table Two silver tea services Silverware and candleholders Hostess trays and matching cups Cake knife (if you don't have your own) Table for punch service with white tablecloth Punch bowl, ladle and cups Kitchen labor: (a separate fee may apply) To set tables, prepare punch, coffee and tea, keep tables replenished, remove dishes from reception hall, wash dishes and clean up reception hall.

10 Wedding Checklist 1. The church secretary will make a tentative reservation of the wedding date and time on the official church calendar when you complete the Wedding Application Form and submit $ deposit. 2. You will need to arrange a conference with the pastor who will be conducting the wedding. 3. Make any necessary arrangements with the church organist and your soloist, if you are using one. 4. Fill out the Certificate of Marriage before coming to the rehearsal. Complete the Information for Church Records Form at the end of this pamphlet and give it to the wedding coordinator. 5. Give the Wedding License and certificates to the minister prior to the wedding; preferably during the rehearsal. 6. Immediately after the wedding, sign the license and certificates. Your official Marriage Certificate will be given to you.

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