Questions from students at the Grove about relationships, sex, marriage!

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1 Questions from students at the Grove about relationships, sex, marriage 1. Does pre marital sex really effect you and your future marriage? Is it ok to do before marriage? yes it can effect you and your future marriage When you engage is sex there is a spiritual, physical and emotional oneness that happens. The Bible is clear that sex should be done in the context of marriage it helps protect you from heartache, guilt, diseases..etc Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

2 2. Is it better to break off an engagement to someone that you have doubts about or commit and hope for the projected outcome? If there are character issues they should be addressed in a pre marriage counseling session with your pastor. This way everyone is on the same page and if things need to be worked out they can be. Matthew 1:18-21 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. We can see that Joseph thought there might be a character issue with Mary and was going to break off the engagement until the angel appeared to him.

3 3. How long should you be engaged before marriage? A Christian engagement should reflect the fact that marriage is a God-created, God-ordained institution meant to support individuals in a loving relationship and strengthen them to serve God and others. Scripture is specific that the couple should remove themselves from their childhood families and be devoted to one another (Mark 10:7-9). Me personally I am not a fan of long engagements. For most it takes 6-12 months to plan a wedding and that is where I land. 4. What is a good age to get married? As I have taught the past few weeks there are things that need to happen before marriage takes place. From week one we talked about there could be some type of education, a job/career that must happen first. Which brings me back to being content with where God has you in your life. 5. How do you tell if someone likes you? I think this is in the guys court to define the relationship and state his intentions. 6. What if your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn t talk to you? It appears that this may not be a defined relationship as communication is key in any relationship.

4 7. What if you make the wrong decision on getting engaged and onto marriage? Before you would even get to that point of engagement it would be wise to have Godly/wise people surrounding you to give you wisdom. Have your parents involved and seek their guidance. Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke. Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. How do you create healthy relationships? 8. Is it bad to have short, non-committed relationships? I think it would be un-wise to just jump from person to person. Because as we have studied the purpose of dating or getting to know someone is to lead down a road towards marriage. So if that is the purpose why have short non committed relationships. 9. Should you only have sex for reproduction purposes? The Bible does teach that one of the primary purposes for sexual intimacy is the creation of children. In the familiar passage of Genesis 1:28, God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. In the Song of Solomon you read of a married man and woman enjoying many moments of passionate sexual

5 intimacy. In no place in the book do you find procreation being discussed. 10. How do you make a marriage last? Realizing that you are married to a sinner and you daily have to wash the feet of a sinner. communication is key prayer and being in God s word and growing in your walk with Him. 11. Why shouldn t Christians date non-believers? Why not help them change? 2 Corinthians 6:14 not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? verse 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?god tells us not to be yoked with unbelievers. The Bible paints a picture of Christ and the Devil they are on opposite sides of the fence and this is how it would be if married to an unbeliever. Not on the same page. When it comes to Christians marrying non-christians, God is opposed. There are many passages in Scripture that make this clear. I ll share one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament.

6 Malachi 2:11 12 says: Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts How does God tell you who be with? You can have non-romantic evangelistic relationships with non-christians, but if the parties involved are single, the odds of attraction are high. A better idea would be to introduce the would-be boyfriend to your Christian male friends so that a more healthy, genuinely evangelistic relationship can form between them. Pray for him. Introduce him to the men at your church. But don t date him. and this goes for guys as well 12. Does kissing and hugging count as physical contact? yes there is no way around it

7 13. How should we serve our boyfriend/girlfriend when we are in middle or high school and are not ready for marriage? Respect their future spouse as it may not be you. 13. How do you know it is the right person to get engaged? examined character (walking with The Lord) on the same road (both are going after what God has planed) 14. What do you mean that friendship is key? Proverbs 2:17 Calls your spouse your al-loop a unique Hebrew word that translates as special confidant or best friend Friendship=progression toward a common cause and that common cause is Christ likeness 15. Is divorce wrong? and is it accepted at anytime? What if your spouse cheats? Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

8 16. Do you have to by engagement ring or wedding rings? A ring is a symbol that tells the world that you are committed to each other. It is not a must 17. What is marriage by definition? one women one man for a life time 18. What if you both Christians but are different denominations? Still goes back to character and if you are both running the same race 19. If you have sex outside of marriage and are a Christian will you still go to Heaven? Does God love you any less? The best thing about having Christ is Lord is the grace that He gives. All sins are covered under the blood. If the sin any sin is repented of God s grace covers it. And God does not love you less..he will never love you less. 19. Do you think it s a good thing to say I love you if you re not fully committed? It is not wise to use words that you would not truly mean.

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