Civil Ceremonies Ceremony Choices

Transcription

1 Civil Ceremonies Ceremony Choices

2 Choices: Welcome Choices: On the day Congratulations on your decision to marry in the beautiful county of Norfolk! This booklet outlines the ceremony choices available to you and some general points to bear in mind for your big day. You may prefer a small, informal event, or a more elaborate celebration. Whichever you choose, we aim to provide you with the help and advice that will enable you to personalise your ceremony and ensure that it meets your expectations. Have a look at the options in this booklet and decide on your preferences. Once you have reached your decisions please complete the online Choices form which can be found at and is located on the marriage page. Please do this at least eight weeks before the date of your wedding. We can provide elements of this booklet in large print, alternative format or in a different language if you need it. You can make a request by contacting Democratic Services on (01603) Arrival The registration staff who are responsible for the ceremony will let you know when you need to arrive at an register office or approved venue for your wedding. We will discuss times with you before the day. A registration officer will need to see you both in private before the ceremony to check some details with you. Parties are asked to be punctual. Parking Each venue has its own parking arrangements and you should ensure that you are aware of the restrictions that may apply. Entrance It may be possible for you to enter the ceremony room separately, and if you wish to do so you should discuss this with the registration officer. Witnesses You must provide two credible witnesses to sign the register. They may be relations, friends or other persons nominated by you. We prefer witnesses to be 18 years of age or over and they must understand the content of the ceremony. Music Music can be played at the beginning of the ceremony, during the signing of the register and at your exit. The music you choose must not be religious in nature. Register offices have a small collection of music but you are welcome to provide your own. Clearly labelled CDs should be brought on the day. Please discuss your requirements with the registration officer. If you are to be married in an approved venue you will need to make arrangements with them. Photography You may wish to record your marriage on video and/or camera. We have written some guidance for you and your photographer and/or videographer, and this can be found at the back of this booklet. Music and Video Copyright Please note that if you choose to record your ceremony on video, Norfolk County Council accepts no liability for copyright infringements of music recorded for, and during, ceremonies. You should ensure that the proper licence has been obtained. 1 2

3 Choices: On the day Signing the register At the end of the ceremony you will each be asked to check the details recorded in the register. Any errors in the entry can be corrected at this time. You and your witnesses will then be asked to sign the register. Your Ceremony The following pages outline the choices you can make for your ceremony. Once you have reached your decisions please complete the online Choices form which can be found at and is located on the marriage page. If you decide to use ring words or readings that are not in this booklet they must not be religious in nature. Please attach a copy to your choices form. Don t worry - you don t need to learn any words. The registration officer will read out a few words at a time for you to repeat. Choices: Housekeeping The Registrar will ensure that all of the necessary announcements are made prior to the ceremony beginning. a) Good morning/afternoon ladies and gentlemen.... and... welcome you here today to... on the happy occasion of their marriage. b) Good morning/afternoon ladies and gentlemen,... and... welcome you here today to... on the happy occasion of their marriage. I'm sure that it means a great deal to them that you are here to share in their happiness and celebrate with them the beginning of their married life together. c) Choose this option if you would like to compose your own welcome; if may be a good idea to follow the examples in options a & b, but personalised to you. Introduction (compulsory words) The Registrars will introduce themselves to your guests "My name is... and it is my pleasure and privilege to be conducting the ceremony here today on behalf of the Norfolk Registration Service. I would also like to introduce my colleague... who will register the marriage and ensure all the legal formalities are completed correctly." Sanction (compulsory words) This is a confirmation that the venue has been licensed for marriages. "This place in which we are now met has been duly sanctioned according to law for the celebration of marriages. The ceremony will be in accordance with the law of this country, which requires the couple to declare their freedom to marry each other, before they make their marriage contract and promise to take each other as partners for life." 3 4

4 Choices: Impediment (compulsory words) A tradition where the Registrar asks guests if they have any legal objection to the marriage. "You are here today to witness the marriage of... and... If any person here present knows of any legal implediment to this marriage it must be declared now." Giving away Traditionally one partner would be "given away" a) Not being given away (skip to the next section) b) Being given away a) Who gives... to be married to... - Response; I/we do. b) It has long been tradition for a bride to be 'given away'. Today that honour falls to... So... will you entrust... to the love and care of...? - Response; I/we do Solemn (compulsory words) A statement made by the Registrar of the importance of marriage. Choices: Definition of marriage The Registrar will state what the formal definition of marriage is. a) No definition of marriage b) Marriage in this country means the union of two people, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others. Meaning of marriage The Registrar will make an informal statement about the meaning of marriage. a) Marriage/It is not just a legal document, the exchange of rings and the sharing of a home. In marriage two people make promises that take a lifetime to fulfill. b) Marriage is a promise of hope between two people who love each other; to share love and friendship, and to offer help and comfort in times of joy and in times of sorrow. c) Choose this option if you would like to state what marriage means to you personally. "... and... before you are joined in marriage, I should remind you both of the solemn and binding nature of the vows that you are about to make." 5 6

5 Choices: Declaratory words You will each make a declaration to the effect that you are free lawfully to marry. You must both choose the same words. Declaratory preliminary words (compulsory words) "... and... will now declare there is no legal reason why they should not marry before they go on to complete their marriage contract." Choose one of the following three options a) I do solemnly declare That I know not Of any lawful impediment Why I... May not be joined in matrimony to... b) I declare that I know Of no legal reason Why I... may not be joined in marriage. To... c) Are you... free lawfully to marry...? - Response: I am Contracting Words You will each make a legal contract accepting each other. You must both choose the same words. Contracting preliminary words (compulsory words) "We now come to your contracting words." Choose one of the following three options a) I call upon these persons here present To witness that I... Do take thee... to be my lawful wedded husband/wife. b) I... Take you... To be my wedded husband/wife. c) I... Take thee... To be my wedded husband/wife. Choices: Statement of intent (compulsory words) The Registrar will ask you to make a promise to one another. "... do you take... to be your husband/wife and do you promise to be loving, caring and loyal to him/her for the rest of your life together?" - Response: "I do." Reading Option 1 (If you would like to include a reading during your ceremony it may be included here) Additional Words (This is an opportunity to personalise your ceremony - you may wish to include a word about absent friends, special guests or a few words on how you met etc.) Rings or other tokens introduction A short introduction by the Registrar before rings are exchanged. a) No rings to be exchanged (skip to extra wishes) b)... and... you have chosen to demonstrate your commitment by the giving and receiving of rings. A wedding ring is an unbroken circle symbolising your love for one another. c)... and... have chosen to demonstrate their commitment by the giving and receiving of rings. A wedding ring is a symbol of the everlasting circle of love, truth and unity in which two lives are joined together. 7 8

6 Choices: Ring or other token words If you have chosen to exchange rings or other tokens, it is usual to make a vow or promise. A selection of ring words follow but you may write your own if you wish. The rings can be presented by anyone, including children if that is your preference. a) All that I am, I give to you. All that I have, I share with you. I promise to love, cherish and respect you. And to be faithful to you for as long as we both shall live. b)... I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. And to show that I choose you. To be my husband/wife today and always. c)... I give you this ring as a token of my love and affection. And as a symbol of our marriage. Please wear it as a reminder of my love for you. Today, tomorrow and in the years to come. d) Please choose this option if you would like to compose your own ring words, it may be a good idea to follow the examples above, but personalised to you. Choices: Rings conclusion Choose one option to conclude the exchange of rings a) No rings conclusion b) May these rings always remind you both of the promises you have made to each other today. c) May these rings which, by a long tradition, form a seal to the marriage contract, be a constant reminder to you both of the promises you have made and an outward sign of your commitment to each other. Reading Option 2 (If you would like to include a reading during your ceremony it may be included here) Extra wishes Choose one option if you would like the Registrar to make an extra wish a) No extra wishes b)... and... have exchanged vows today both as a legal act and as a personal commitment. From this time they go forward as two people but sharing one life and we hope that their love will grow and strengthen even more over the coming years. c) Marriage will be the start of a new beginning, a new phase in your life together. Your marriage calls for co-operation, friendship and mutual respect. It also needs understanding, patience, honesty and, of course, a sense of humour. It requires devotion, the ability to listen, the wisdom to know when you are wrong and the willingness and strength to put things right. 9 10

7 Choices: Choices: Conclusion preliminary words (compulsory words) "Today will be a milestone in your lives which you can look back on with happiness and pride. From this day may the ordinary things you share become special and the special things great. Cherish your love for each other, enhance the potential you have as individuals and as a couple, and look to the future with a commitment that grows deeper and stronger as the years pass." Conclusion The Registrar will make a concluding statement to the ceremony choose one option. a)... and... you have both made the declarations that are prescribed by law, and formed a solemn and binding contract with each other in the presence of your guests here today. I am delighted to declare that you are now husband and wife/legally married. b)... and... you have both made the declarations that are prescribed by law, and formed a solemn and binding contract with each other in the presence of your guests here today. You have sealed that contract with the giving and receiving of rings, and you have made promises to each other of love, loyalty and commitment. I am delighted to declare that you are now husband and wife/legally married. Presentation of certificate The Registrar will present your Marriage Certificate. Closing of the ceremony Choose one of the following options that you would like to be called by the Registrar at the end of the ceremony. "Please stand. May I present:" a) The new Mr and Mrs... b) Mr and Mrs... c) Mr and Mr... d) Mrs and Mrs... e) The happy couple. f) The newlyweds

8 Choices: Readings When considering which readings to include it may be helpful to search civil ceremony readings online or take a look at a small selection of suggested readings we have chosen. We do have a larger selection of readings available at We will need a copy of any readings you would like to include to be supplied with your choices along with the name of the person who will be reading them out for you. 28. On Your Wedding Day byanonymous Today is a day you will always remember The greatest in anyone s life You ll start off the day just two people in love And end it as Husband and Wife It s a brand new beginning the start of a journey With moments to cherish and treasure And although there ll be time when you both disagree These will surely be outweighed by pleasure You ll have heard many words of advice in the past When the secrets of marriage were spoken But you know that the answers lie hidden inside Where the bond of true love lies unbroken So live happy forever as lovers and friends It s the dawn of a new life for you As you stand there together with love in your eyes From the moment you whisper I do Choices: Readings 30. Love is giving by Anonymous Love is giving, not taking, mending, not breaking, trusting, believing, never deceiving, patiently bearing and faithfully sharing each joy, each sorrow, today and tomorrow. Love is kind, understanding, but never demanding. Love is constant, prevailing, its strength never failing. A promise once spoken For all time unbroken, Love s time is forever 26. Of Shared Love in Marriage by Victor Hugo You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves. And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real May success find its way to your hearts Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys But today is the day it all starts 13 14

9 Choices: Readings Choices: Readings 24. Native American (Apache) Wedding Blessing Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives -- remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight. 12. These I can promise by Mark Twain I cannot promise you a life of sunshine; I cannot promise riches, wealth or gold; I cannot promise you an easy pathway That leads away from change or growing old. But I can promise all my heart's devotion A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow; A love that's ever true and ever growing; A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow. 14. Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved

10 Choices: Guidance for designated photographers Norfolk Registration Service has updated its policy on photography at civil marriages and partnerships to make it more flexible. Couples should give this guidance to the person they select to be the main (designated) photographer at their ceremony. The policy allows one designated photographer to take photographs during the ceremony so long as they follow these simple guidelines*. Registrars are responsible for the legal proceedings and will let photographers know if a venue calls for special arrangements. avoid photographing the register designated photographers will have first access to a mock-up schedule signing following the ceremony agree a fixed point with the registration officer and remain in that position, once the ceremony begins, for the duration of the ceremony ensure that only a quiet camera and no flash is used during the ceremony we recommend that designated photographers set their cameras to single frame low speed during the ceremony We welcome photographers who follow this simple guidance and work with registration staff to ensure all elements of the ceremony are delivered as planned. Choices:Suggestions We aim to provide a quality service and if you would like to suggest any way in which we can improve on what we do, we would be pleased to hear from you. Please let us know by letter or ; contact details can be found at the back of this booklet. Ceremony Fees Date: Time: Place: Paid Owing Date to be paid by Confirmation Details This policy does not apply if you choose to have your ceremony in the small Ceremony room in the office 17 18

11 Contact The Ceremony Hub Shirehall Market Avenue Norwich NR1 3JU