ongratulations you re engaged! Now that you have a wedding to plan, you also have a marriage to build! Let s start with the essentials

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3 PLANNING TO GET MARRIED C ongratulations you re engaged! Now that you have a wedding to plan, you also have a marriage to build! Let s start with the essentials

4 T ight Knots is the marriage ministry at Jesus House. Our vision is to equip couples to build Christ centred marriages that will last a lifetime, be a light to the world, and leave a legacy to future generations. pre-marital counselling classes We cover the following topics over the nine-week course: The premarital process is about building a solid foundation for Marriage. The classes equip couples with Godly principles and time tested tools that will enable them have a Godly marriage that will last a life time. Marriage: God s Blueprint Blended Gifts: Celebrating our differences Called to Love: God s will for marriage The Art of Communication: Building intimacy in marriage Managing Conflict: Disagreeing in love Prayer: Partnering with God Sex: God s gift for oneness Financial Intimacy: Building kingdom wealth Maintaining Oneness: Creating healthy relationships with others Pre-marital classes are held over nine weeks; they are very interactive, filled with real life examples, testimonies and practical tips. Classes are held weekly on Friday evenings from 7pm-9.30pm at The Jesus House Centre. Each topic is a journey of discovery and couples are encouraged to participate in lively and open discussions. The evening usually ends with light refreshments whilst the group gets an opportunity to know each other better. We are here to meet the needs of couples wherever they may find themselves on the marriage spectrum in order for them to have a God-honoring marriage that thrives on commitment, intimacy and growth.

5 weddings at jesus house All couples who intend to be married by Jesus House are required to attend the pre-marital counselling classes Two Become One. Pre-Marital Counselling classes take place 3 times a year in January, April and September on Friday evenings between 7pm and 9.30pm. The Church requires a minimum of 6 months notice from couples prior to the intended wedding date if they wish to be married at Jesus House. The initial step is for the couples to contact Member Services on to obtain a registration form. Once the form has been received, the couple will have a preliminary meeting with Bode & Kemi Olutunbi, heads of Tightknots. At this meeting, your needs are assessed and a place will be confirmed on the appropriate pre-marital counselling class stream. After the meeting your wedding date will be confirmed and you, the couple, will be referred to the Wedding Liaison team, who are responsible for helping you with planning all aspects of the wedding ceremony such as the wedding program, rehearsal, booking the choir and general advice.

6 10 The Wedding Date must be confirmed with the church before further arrangements are made by the couple. This is to ensure that we have all the necessary resources available to ensure that the wedding day goes smoothly. Jesus House is a Registered Venue permitted to conduct wedding ceremonies on its premises. This means that members of the church can now get married in the Church without needing to go to the registry prior to the wedding day. For the marriage to be legally binding, a registrar from Barnet Council is required to be present at the wedding ceremony. The council usually has a long waiting list so couples are advised to register their interest with their borough as soon as possible once your date has been confirmed by Jesus House. Please note that if you are not a British Citizen or have Indefinite Leave to Remain in the UK, you must apply to the Home Office for a Certificate of Approval for marriage before you can be legally married in the UK. weddings at jesus house We also conduct marriage blessings for couples who are already married by civil or customary law. For this, we require notification at least three months prior the intended date. 11

7 FAQ s / Why do we need to attend pre-marital counseling classes? / You have probably invested a lot of time in your relationship and planning for your wedding. The day is important but your marriage should last for the rest of your life. Sadly, many couples neglect to prepare for their marriage. However much you think you know each other, you are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. These classes offer you the opportunity to learn from the blueprint/compass of Marriage (Bible), talk through the issues that arise and learn from the experiences of other couples within the group. At Jesus House it is compulsory for all couples planning to get married to complete the premarital counselling classes. / How do I book the church for my wedding? / Get in touch with Member Services to notify the Church of your intention to marry. A Marriage notification form is sent out to you, once you have completed the form and it is received, a meeting will be booked with the Heads of Tightknots to discuss the premarital process at Jesus House with you

8 FAQ s / What if I want to be married in a different church? / Jesus House is a venue licensed to conduct wedding ceremonies and all members of the church who wish to be married by Jesus House are required to get married at The Jesus House Centre. If you have a reason for wanting to marry in another church, please discuss this at your meeting with Bode & Kemi Olutunbi. / How do I notify my borough of my wedding? / You will need to give 2 forms of notice. One to Barnet Register Office and the other to the individual council that you both live in You should first contact the Superintendent Registrar of Barnet on to notify them of your wedding date. Please allow a minimum of 16 days before your marriage to notify the council. You are however, advised to do this as soon as possible as the council sometimes have a long waiting list. You cannot give notice more than a year before the date of your marriage. 2. Both of you must also give a notice of marriage to the Superintendent Registrar of the districts where you live. This has to be done in person, so if you both live in the same district you must both attend. If you live in separate districts each party can visit separately. You must also have lived in England or Wales for at least seven days immediately before giving notice. / Are there any costs involved? / There is a registration fee of for the pre-marital counselling classes to meet the costs of materials. The other costs involved are for notifying the councils of your marriage: For giving a Notice of Marriage - 30 each For registering a marriage at the Register Office in Barnet - 47 For Registrar General s Licence - 15 Please note that these prices are likely to change therefore it is advisable to confirm the cost when giving notice of your marriage. 15

9 / We ve decided to go to the registry office to get married but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible? / Definitely! For this, we require notification of at least three months prior to the intended date. / Can we be involved in planning the service? / Yes, you will be able to choose your hymns and readings. However you will not be able to amend the order of service or the wedding vows. Although your needs will be taken into account, please note that couples will not be able to specify the Pastor they want to officiate at their wedding. / Do you have wedding rehearsals? / The marriage ministry team will make arrangements with you to have a wedding rehearsal closer to your wedding date. 16 FAQ s / What happens if one of us lives abroad? / The pre-marital class at Jesus House is designed for couples and not individuals. This is because we feel that the benefits of the information are best reaped when each party is learning together. If one of you lives abroad, please contact the Marriage Ministry to discuss your options. / I ve heard that the bible is exchanged rather than rings, is that true? / At Jesus House, the order of service includes both an exchange of rings and an exchange of Bibles. The exchange of rings is done as a symbol of the couples love for each other and their commitment to the union. The Bible is our manual for success in marriage. It provides instructions and advice which enable us to conduct our marriages in a Godly manner. The exchange of Bibles is a symbolic declaration by the couple that they will conduct their marriage in accordance with Gods will. 17

10 For more information contact the Member Services Department on or send an to

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