Good morning Ladies! Thank you very much to the Lady Rocci team and to you, for the

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1 1 THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT Good morning Ladies! Thank you very much to the Lady Rocci team and to you, for the opportunity to share with you this morning. It s always a privilege for me to share with you and I am proud to be part of Lady ROCCI. Today I d like to talk to you about The Essence of the Butterfly Effect! Who of you have seen the movie the Butterfly Effect with the Beautiful Ashton Kutcher? I must be honest the movie is a bit weird but very Authentic and REAL! In the movie Asthon plays the role of a young man who has the nero-capacity to go back into his past and change the circumstances of the people that he loves. But in his pursuit to go back and change small things, it changes everything, and not for the good. He realizes that every time he chooses to go back and help someone he destroys who they truly are and it just gets worse up to the point where his life is ruined as well! The movie demonstrates the significant effect that our choices have in our life. Now the name of the movie Butterfly Effect is a scientific term that was developed in 1960 by Edward Lorenze, a meteorologist. Lorenze studied weather patterns. His study showed that weather does obey physical laws but one small change like the FLAP of a Butterfly s wings can spin those physical laws out in a whole different direction. For example if a butterfly decides to change the flap of her wings in March in Beijing, it could result in hurricane patterns in the Atlantic in August. Well now we know why real weather is so unpredictable!

2 2 Now psychologists have borrowed Edward Lorenze s theory and have made the Butterfly Effect applicable to people and their choices. Let me explain the Butterfly effect by referring to two people who lived during the 2 nd World War. And they are Adolf Hitler and Corrie Ten Boom. I read a very interesting secret report on Hitler s life written in 1930 by a Nazi Hans Frank. In his report Hanz writes that Hitler's grandmother fell pregnant with a married Jewish man. So Hitler s dad was the illegitimate child from a Jewish father and that caused embarrassment for Hitler in his later years. Hans Frank also writes that Hitler s dad was a short-tempered, very strict and brutal civil servant. He frequently abused Hitler and he also disapproved Hitler s dream to become an artist. His dad died when he was 13, but the damage was done. According to the report many believe that Hitler s dad could have been the source of his hatred for the Jewish people. Hitler and his mother had a very good relationship and his life was shattered when she died of cancer when he was 18. He pursued his dream for Art, moved to Vienna and applied to study at the Vienna Academy of Art. His application was rejected and without work and any support, he lived in the tramps. To earn money he sold post cards that he painted and he cleared driveways from snow. If we analyze Hitler s life his hatred of the Jews started with his abusive illegitimate dad who was from Jewish heritage. Because of this hatred he became convinced that a Jewish doctor was responsible for the death of his mother; he became convinced that a

3 3 Jewish professor rejected his art work; and he became convinced that only Jewish people lived in the homes where he cleared the driveways. He made it clear that his time in Vienna was entirely the fault of the Jews saying: "I began to hate them". His prejudice led him to develop a deep hatred that resulted in the heartbreaking killing of millions of innocent people. Now Corrie Ten Boom s story is quite the opposite. Corrie was an ordinary Dutch lady who also lived during the time of Hitler. She survived the concentration camps and was responsible for saving the lives of thousands of Jews, even though she was not a JEW. Her family was known for their gracious character towards all people and when the Nazis invaded the Netherlands Corrie and her family became very active in hiding Jewish refugees. The Germans arrested the entire Ten Boom family and they were sent to concentration camps in Germany. Corrie's Father and her sister died in the concentration camps. Corrie was released after a year and she returned to the Netherlands to set up rehabilitation centres for concentration camp survivors. She started to write books and travelled the world teaching and sharing her experiences during the Holocaust, and the concepts of forgiveness and love. One significant incident in her life happened when she was teaching in Germany. After her teaching she was approached by a German man. She recognised him from her

4 4 days in the concentration camp. He was one of the cruellest guards at the camp. She wrote the following: If we analyze Corrie s life, her small acts of love and forgiveness changed the lives of millions of people for the GOOD. The effect of her actions was significant! The State of Israel honored her by naming her Righteous among the Nations. She was knighted by the Queen of the Netherlands in recognition of her work during the war, and a museum in the Dutch city of Haarlem is dedicated to her and her family. We learn from the stories of these two profound leaders that our CHOICES, even those that seem as insignificant as the FLAP of a butterfly s wings, can have a significant effect in a good or a bad way. Hitler had an abusive dad and he chose to hate the Jews and killed over 6 million Jews. Corrie s life was ruined by the Nazi s they killed her family but she made the choice to love them and forgive them and that resulted in the reconciliation of thousands of people. Now you and I have choices to make everyday. And let s be honest, a choice might seem so insignificant, but the reality is making the CORRECT choice could change your live for the BETTER! But making the wrong choice could ruin the rest of your LIFE! Now we are not always in control of our circumstances but we are in control of our choices!

5 5 German Psychologist Victor Frankl who also survived the concentration camps, wrote about the freedom of choice that we have in any given circumstance. Let me read a paragraph from his book: Man s search for meaning: What Frankl says is that each of us has the Freedom to choose our response in any give circumstances, to not become the plaything of our circumstances!!! A more modern version of what Frankl says is what Stephen Covey explains in his book 7 Habits of Highly effective people as the stimulus response principle. What he explains is as adults we are not always in control of the S, but we are in control of our Response, our choices! At Therapeia we work with people everyday and we deal with the result of choices, whether they are professional or personal. And based on our interactions with people we have identified 4 choices that that we can make that will change our lives for the BETTER. I use the Acronym FLAP like the flap of a butterfly s wings to illustrate the choices. The F stands for to Forgive and Forget It is important that we unconditionally forgive and forget like with our favorite treats one of mine is Woollies Organic Peanut Butter. Every week I forgive myself and forget that I have overindulged. Next week I go to Woollies, buy P and indulge again! On a more serious note, my husband has this quote in his office by Brian Tracey that says Forgiveness is a perfectly Selfish Act, because it sets You FREE from the past. The only way we can make good choices about our future is if we choose to forget the past.

6 6 The L stands for Like-able Look at the person sitting next to you. Is she Like-able? Some of you sitting next to your colleague might think HMHM! John Maxwell says that all things being equal, people will work with people they LIKE; and all things not being equal they still will! The only way we can make an impact in people s lives is if we choose to be Like-able! The A stands for Abundance What do I mean by Abundance? Abundance means that I am not in this world to compete with others, but to collaborate with others. It is a deep sense of conviction that there is enough for everybody in this world. The only way I can significantly change the world is by moving from ME to WE! The P stands for PATIENCE Each relationship has the Potential of Return if we approach our relationships with Patience. The return may be immediate, or believe me, with some people it takes a very long time to get the return, but it will come. So Let s be people that are patient with those around us. Let s Be patient with our colleagues, let s be patient with our families and let s be patient in traffic! Ladies I d like to close and summarize: Everyday you and I have choices to make. We might not always be in control of our circumstances but like Victor Frankl said we are in control of our choices. And we saw from the lives of Hitler and Corrie that our choices impact lives significantly for the GOOD or the BAD like the FLAP of a Butterfly s wings. And we CAN choose everyday to live by the FLAP principle. Life is full of Butterfly FLAPS And Let s choose to Flap our Wings like Corrie ten Boom!

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