6 STEPS TO EFFECTIVE GROUP PRAYER

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1 6 STEPS TO EFFECTIVE GROUP PRAYER Allan Harkness One of the challenges often facing small group leaders is how to get people to pray aloud and if they do pray aloud, how to create a genuine group prayer experience. Members of small groups may struggle with prayer because of their expectations about what prayer should be like: the words to use, how to ensure a prayerful atmosphere, what to pray for, and in what detail, and so on. Often those who have been group members for a long time have learned how to make their prayer seem spiritual. Meanwhile those who are newer to the group may be scared to pray aloud, for fear that they will embarrass themselves in front of the group because they don t yet know what is considered right form. Another tendency is for prayer in groups to be like members waiting for their turn to speak to God. How often we struggle to keep alert as others go on at length and cover a wide range of topics. Prayer in this case is more like a series of monologues, rather than recognising that the members are in a small group setting. The good news is that group prayer doesn t need to be like this! There is a place for someone in a group praying on behalf of the whole group, or members praying perhaps at some length on various topics, but prayer in a small group can be much more spontaneous, and like a normal conversation with one another and God, using normal patterns of speech, and building up an integrated prayer that reflects the unity of the group. This also demonstrates the reality that God is more interested in people being open and honest being themselves than with trying to impress. The steps outlined here are carefully graded to take a group of beginners in the school of prayer to the point where they are much more comfortable in a group prayer situation. Each step starts with a reason for the step, based on a difficulty which people have in group prayer situations. This is followed by a teaching point for the particular step, and then a strategy that helps group members acquire the appropriate skill for the step. Effective group prayer seldom comes naturally. Instead, it may have to be carefully learned, and the following steps will enhance the process. But remember that it is the Spirit of the living Christ who is our ultimate teacher. So as you teach methods, remember that you are in partnership with God to enable group members to listen and respond to his Spirit. Tailor these steps to your unique group Your group may be already part of the way to effective group prayer. Consider which of these steps you could start with and move along from in order to enhance the quality of prayer in your small group. Members of your group may already be comfortable praying aloud. Use these steps to remind the members of some of the basic principles for meaningful group prayer, and to revise their group prayer skills. Note: if you are a group of people with mixed experiences of praying aloud, you may need to quietly request the more-experienced pray-ers to be disciplined in practicing these steps, for the sake of the less-experienced members.

2 Step 1: Prepare to pray The very concept of prayer may be quite new to group members, especially if they have only recently become Christians or started attending a Christian group. If so, starting out on the adventure of group prayer may need to start with helping these people understand what prayer is. You may also want to assure members that it is quite normal to be distracted at times when we pray, whether alone or in a group. But these distractions can be minimised. Comment on some of these more common strategies for coping with distraction in prayer: Some of the distractions can be readily avoided. Request members to turn off their mobile phones and pagers (or put in silent mode and place where the vibrations can t be felt). If we become conscious of external noise while the group is praying, quietly acknowledge it to God, and seek to re-focus on the prayer activity. Sometimes distractions are caused by physical factors. Check the room temperature and ventilation. Change your posture if you are seated on furniture which is either so comfortable it induces you to sleep, or which is so designed that you can t get comfortable. If we are not used to being quiet, we may well find our thoughts wander around, and we find ourselves daydreaming. At such times recognise the distraction, apologise quietly to God, and then return to the prayer. Some people find it helpful to have paper or a notebook handy, and when some task or idea comes to mind, they quickly jot it down, to refer to at the end of the session. Perhaps the name or face of a person comes into your thoughts. This may be a prompt from God. Pray briefly on your own for the person, or jot their name on a piece of paper for later. Step 2: Write a prayer say it silently The most basic step for praying aloud is to construct a simple prayer, and pray it. This helps people to decide what they want to say in their conversation with God, and to start to feel relaxed speaking with him. Prayer is not for experts only! As children may talk freely with their parents, so Christians are to talk freely to their heavenly Father, without embarrassment or formality. 1. Ensure members have paper and pen. Identify an idea about which they can write a sentence or two e.g. at the start of a group time, invite members to think of something they are thankful for since you last met; or at the end of a Bible study, what is an area of life in which they sense they need to change. Perhaps invite group members to make suggestions about the range of possibilities. 2. Ask members to write down their chosen idea(s) in a brief sentence. It is often helpful to give them the opening words of a sentence, e.g. This past week I m thankful for better communication with my daughter ; or As a result of this study I think we need to be more open with each other. 3. Now direct members to delete the opening words, and replace with appropriate words addressed directly to God, e.g. This past week I m thankful for Thank you God for better communication with my daughter ; or As a result of this study I think we need to Please help us, God, this week to be more open with each other. 4. Invite members to read their completed prayer to God in silence. 5. The leader may then conclude with a brief and relevant prayer spoken aloud, e.g. God, there s much that we ve been

3 thankful for since we last met. Thank you that you have heard our prayers Amen Step 3: Write a prayer say it aloud The next step is to encourage members to pray aloud in their group. For many people this also can be daunting and seem unnatural. And those who feel this way may include people who have attended church for many years but who only now are involved in some sort of study or growth group. We can help them break the sound barrier in a supportive group, by encouraging them to pray aloud a simple prepared prayer. We do not need special words or a holy voice, or the ability to say a lot when we pray. We are not trying to impress each other, but to speak simply with God. And it s OK to prepare what we want to express if it will prevent us being tongue-tied. 1. Apply Action points 1-3 from Step 1 adapting the focus of course to something relevant to the group at this time. 2. Invite members to take turns to speak their sentences aloud. It is helpful to indicate the general direction around the group in which members may take their turn e.g. clockwise from the leader. Note: Members may choose not to pray aloud. Assure them that this is OK and they can indicate this by gently nudging the person next to them. 3. Members pray their prayers aloud in turn until all have had the opportunity to participate. 4. The leader may then conclude with a brief and relevant prayer. Step 4: Domino prayers To create prayer in a group which is more than a series of individual prayers, we need to listen carefully to others, and build on what they have prayed. Domino prayers helps members to do this. Teaching Point: When we pray with others we can show that we are actively participating and that others contributions are important by consciously building on what each other prays. 1. Explain that praying in groups can be like a game of dominos: Players place a tile on which the number of dots on one half of their tile matches the number of dots on the exposed half of the previous player s tile. 2. Suggest the focus of the prayer time (e.g. praying for group members needs in their workplace), and perhaps an order of praying. Note: At first it is appropriate to suggest that members pray consecutively around the group. However, as people become more comfortable with the concept of domino prayers, encourage them to pray in any order but still maintaining the discipline of consciously building on the previous person s topic. 3. The leader starts by praying a short prayer (one item only). 4. Each person following then prays a double prayer : The first half builds on the second idea of the prayer of the member before; and the second half is a new idea.

4 Example: Leader: Lord, please help Peter juggle his responsibilities in his department this week as it s going to be especially busy. Member 1: [Idea which builds on the previous item] Yes, Lord, and particularly help him to know how to deal with his colleagues Mike and Jane, who tend to be disruptive in the planning meetings; // [and adds a new idea] and I d like to ask that Mary become aware of your presence while she is on sick leave, because I know she s feeling really bad about being away so long. Member 2: [Idea which builds on the previous item] We know how hard it will be for Mary to be catch up on her project deadlines, Lord, so will you please help Mei Lin and me to look for ways to take some of her work load. // [and adds a new idea] And, Lord, we still need to find a suitable date for our office Christian fellowship retreat. Please help us to be willing to juggle some of our commitments so all of us can attend. etc. 5. The leader may conclude with a prayer which draws the time to a suitable end, or the group may say a prayer together (e.g. The Lord s prayer). Step 5: Conversational prayer Conversational prayer allows a group of people to be in a real conversation together with God: not as a series of individual prayers, but rather as a genuine group prayer. Think of the ingredients of a good conversation between several people: Individual contributions are quite short, rather than a series of long monologues. Participants talk more than once; and in any order among themselves. No-one alone exhausts all there is to talk about on a topic. Instead, several people may comment on different aspects of each topic. A new topic is introduced into the conversation only when it is felt enough has been talked about on the previous topic. Everyday language is used. Participants use I rather than we, unless they know that it is appropriate to include others in what they are saying. Participants are not afraid of silences, seeing them as opportunities to think and reflect before speaking again. Similar features of a good conversation can be used to enhance the quality of prayer in small groups too. Applying the dynamics of good conversations will help a group develop its corporate prayer. In the process of consciously building up a group prayer, rather than having a series of often-unrelated individual prayers, members are more likely to be actively engaged, to own the prayer as a genuine group expression, and to find their enjoyment of prayer significantly enhanced. 1. Highlight the features of good conversations, and explain how these can be used for group prayer. Mention that conversational prayer is open-ended. There is no formal ending ( in Jesus name, Amen ) at the end of each person s contribution. 2. Decide on the topic for the prayer. 3. The leader starts the prayer, and concludes it in a suitable way. Note: Effective conversational prayer is dependent upon members applying the dynamics of the previous steps. Discipline may be needed by those who are more used to praying in monologue style. Ask such people (privately perhaps) to consciously work at applying the principles of conversational prayer, for the sake of the group.

5 Step 6: A world of creativity in group prayer Once group members have developed the skills to pray aloud which are embodied in these steps, solid foundations are laid to move ahead in more effective group prayer. As these skills become intuitive for members, so the challenges identified at the beginning of this chapter are likely to be less intrusive and distracting, too. Your group will be poised to explore new and creative avenues to express its life with God through prayer. This article is adapted from a handbook on prayer in small groups by Allan Harkness, soon to be published by SU Australia. We ll keep you informed through church@home when it becomes available. Feel free! As long as it s for your personal use within the context of the overall home group programme of your church, please feel free to print out and use the material in church@home as much as you d like to, adapting where appropriate. (Don t forget that we d be interested to hear about any imaginative ways you come up with of using or improving the material.) However, if you would like to use any of the material in other contexts or as part of any publication, we d appreciate you contacting us to ask permission to use first. 2003, Scripture Union, Queensway, Bletchley, Milton Keynes MK2 2EB