Be-Atti Be-A t tti udes for F amily Discussion or F Situations and Solutions Sit Si uation #8

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1 responsibility for her own actions or her own feelings. She may be unhappy and hurting. Tamika s friends cannot fi x her unhappiness. Sometimes, to be a good friend to Tamika, a person would have to stand up to her and help her see when she is acting like a bully. Tamika may want to have friends, and she may need help learning how to be a friend. It may be that Tamika cannot be your friend if she is a bully or hurts you. Sometimes we have to choose to separate ourselves from someone like Tamika, even if we like her. Situation #8 Cory s guilt is right on. He could be harmed by one of those strangers online. He is offending God by misusing the beauty of the human body. He has an urgent need to talk this out with a responsible adult. Confession is forgiveness, and Cory can make his soul snow white again if he really works to have God lead [him] not into temptation. He can join a club at church or school, join a sports team, and stop going into homes without parents present. He can also work hard to meet new friends and not pay attention to the insults from his old porn-viewing friends. Be-Attitudes for Family Discussion Situations and Solutions Rosemarie Gortler & Donna Piscitelli Illustrated by Mimi Sternhagen Copyright 2009 by Our Sunday Visitor, Inc., These pages are an online supplement to The Beatitudes for Children (T821) by Rosemarie Gortler and Donna Piscitelli, illustrated by Mimi Sternhagen, designed by Amanda Miller and may be copied for individual and parish use. Living the Beatitudes can seem to be diffi cult unless we really listen to what Jesus is saying and we study to understand His words. The following situations have been taken from real life. Talk about them with your family or with a group of friends, or in a religion class. Talk about the options or add your own options. Which option (or options) would be a good, or a not-so-good way, to work through each situation? Why do you think that s the way to go? May these activities help you and your family and friends bring the Beatitudes to life the way Jesus wants us to live.

2 2 Situation #4 We all feel lonely sometimes. Moving to a new place and trying to fi t in, Gracie feels particularly alone. This is when she might be tempted to do whatever the crowd is doing, even if the actions are against her beliefs. It is hard to do the right thing. She probably feels that she has to do this by herself. But Gracie can make a choice to lean on God and on those people in her life who love her. When Gracie leans on God, He blesses her so much and gives her much more than she has ever dreamed. This is being humble and being poor in spirit. Situation #5 Did Avery steal? Is it cheating? Doesn t everybody do this if he or she has a chance? Does the price of something stolen make a difference? If something is inexpensive, is it okay to steal? Of course not. We have lots of opportunities to do the wrong thing. But doing the right thing takes extra courage. Doing the right thing is what makes us strong. And by the way, when we go to confession, it is because we are sorry for our wrong choices. Situation #6 What does it mean to be part of a family? Do different members of your family have different jobs or do different chores? What if Cody s mom decided not to fi x dinner or not to wash his clothes? Is Cody more entitled to have free time and fun than other members of his family? Who profi ts most from Cody s good grades and his role as a soccer star? Members of a family do their part out of love. Sometimes love is sacrifi cial. It certainly isn t always fun to clean your room or cut the grass. When Cody feels that he is being asked to do more than his share, would it help him to pray about it? Could he talk to his family about their expectations? Situation #7 Situation #7 Being friends with Tamika is sometimes very diffi cult. She seems demanding, and it looks like she doesn t take 19

3 Solutions Situation #1 Tammy s fi rst concern must be for safety. This is why it is important that she does not try to stop the bullies on her own. Notice that she also does not go into a stranger s house. So what should she do? Well, the fi rst and second choices would be unkind to Sam. Remember that Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers. Peacemakers try to correct wrongs. They try to stand up for those who are being treated unfairly. Prayers always help us, and those we pray for. Situation #2 Blessed are the meek and Blessed are the merciful. Maybe these two Beatitudes can help Teresa decide how to act in this situation. It is very diffi cult to be meek and humble when we feel people are pushing us around or being bossy. Many of us might want to get in their face. Treating Sandy politely would be real humility. Also, if Teresa wants to remind Sandy how her actions turn off her friends, it would be merciful to do that privately. Situation #3 Nobody likes to be singled out. It s embarrassing. Bob might want to pretend that he is not Catholic and eat what everybody else is eating so he doesn t stick out. How would he feel later about this choice? Would this be denying God? He also has a choice to sacrifi ce during Lent and obey the rules of the Church. He can pray about his feelings. God will answer his prayers. And God will bless him each time he does the right thing. Is it okay to plan to do something against the rules and go to confession later? No! Situation #1 On her way home from school, 11-year-old Tammy notices that her classmate Sam is being bullied by four older boys, who are pushing him from one to the other. Tammy knows that Sam is an unpopular kid in her class. Part of her wants to ignore what is happening, because Sam probably said or did something to cause the bullies to pick on him. But another part of her knows that these bigger boys have no right to treat Sam this way. Tammy cannot stop these bullies by herself. One boy pulls off Sam s glasses and then laughs at Sam s terrifi ed reaction. Tammy then stops at a nearby house. She does not go into the house but asks the person who answers the door to call the police. Someone in Tammy s situation might also make one of the following choices: Tell everyone at school what has happened to Sam and how she has helped him. Tell Sam he is a wimp and deserves what has happened to him. Make a decision to begin praying for Sam s safety. Make a decision to begin praying for the bullies to change their ways. Tell parents and teachers about the bullying that goes on in school. 18 3

4 Situation #8 Cory searches the Internet with his friends. They go into chat rooms, talk with strangers who want to meet them, and carry on pretty nasty, and what some call dirty, conversations. They search for pictures of naked men and women. All of this is done when parents are out of the house. Sometimes Cory feels guilty, but the gang has such a great time making jokes and laughing that the guilt will go away. Cory is beginning on a path that is dangerous to his mind, body, and soul. What should he do? Listen to those guilt feelings and think about them, because most of the time guilt means that a person is doing something wrong. Talk to his dad or to a priest. Pray and go to confession, asking God to help him stay away from temptation. (Praying the Lord s Prayer and listening to the words will be helpful.) Find new friends and new ways to have fun. Forget about it because boys will be boys. 4 17

5 Situation #2 Teresa and her best friend, Maya, are playing a new Nintendo game when Sandy comes over and starts bossing them around and telling them how to play the game. Teresa is frustrated because Sandy often enters into conversations uninvited and acts as if she knows things that Teresa and her friends do not know. It s hard to have a fun game with Maya when Sandy does this. What can Teresa do? Interrupt Sandy and tell Maya that Sandy doesn t know what she is talking about. Listen politely and thank Sandy for the information. Turn off the game and walk away with Maya, laughing about Sandy. Politely ask Sandy to wait to talk until their game ends and say that she can play the winner. Later remind Sandy that people don t like to be interrupted and that it hurts their feelings. 16 5

6 Situation #7 Tamika knows the difference between right and wrong. But whenever she makes a mistake or does something wrong, she blames others. She never apologizes, never says she is sorry when she hurts someone, and fl ies into a rage when she loses a game. Recently, Tamika ran for class president and lost. She blamed her friends for not campaigning and accused them of not voting for her. Discuss the following: How does Tamika see herself? Is she a good friend? If she were to blame you, how would you respond? Tamika seems like an angry, hurting girl. How do you feel about her? What can Tamika s friends do to help her? 6 15

7 Situation #3 Bob really likes Sue, and it seems that she likes him, too. Sue s birthday is on a Friday during Lent, and her family is giving her a 16th birthday party. They are serving barbecued hamburgers and ribs along with french fries and salad. Bob quietly takes a large portion of salad, and a lot of fries. Then one of his friends loudly asks Bob if he is becoming a vegetarian. Bob is embarrassed at fi rst and thinks about taking a burger because he feels cornered and different. Bob could: Say that he is thinking about becoming a vegetarian for health reasons. Say that he is not eating meat on Fridays during Lent, but that he is enjoying the fries and salad and is looking forward to the birthday cake. Ignore the question and give his friend a dirty look. Announce to everyone that he is a Catholic and doesn t eat meat on the Fridays of Lent. Talk to God about how hard it is to feel different but not wanting to deny God. Go ahead and enjoy the burger, planning to go to confession later. 14 7

8 Situation #6 Cody thinks his mom expects too much from him. He is a soccer star at school, gets good grades, and doesn t do drugs. That should be enough for her but no! She expects him to clean his room and cut the grass! The other day, Cody told her he was going out to cut the grass but went out the back door to meet his friends, muttering, Yeah, I ll cut it when I feel like it. Discuss the following: How does Cody see himself? How do you think he feels about his family? Is Cody humble? Whom does he love best? Would Cody make a good friend? 8 13

9 Situation #4 Gracie and her family have moved away from the town she grew up in. It s diffi cult to make new friends in school, but she tries hard. Gracie thought that the kids she had invited to her house a few weeks ago were her friends, but now feels hurt when they talk about the many fun plans they have made for the summer, never inviting her. Gracie feels hurt and embarrassed. She thinks, I ve never excluded anyone and if someone wasn t invited, I wouldn t hurt their feelings. Gracie could: Join a youth group at church to meet new kids. Ask her parents permission to join some of the community groups over the summer dance, drama, or softball, for example. Talk honestly to her mom and dad about how bad she feels. Keep up a kind of relationship with the kids at school, but fi ll her time with other things. Pray every day for God to reveal what He wants for her. Become friendlier with other kids in her classes. 12 9

10 Situation #5 Avery is at the sports dinner with his parents. They arrived early because Mom is on the entertainment committee. While Mom sets things up, Avery walks around. He fi nds his family s table, which seats 10 people. He admires a couple of the neat sports party favors making up the centerpiece and toys with some of the coffee cups on the table. Avery then notices that one cup has a star attached to the bottom. Wondering whether that star cup is the winner of the centerpiece like at the last sports dinner he quickly moves it in front of his seat. At the end of the dinner, an announcement is made to check the bottom of the cups and, of course, Avery is the winner. The people at the table cheer for him. Now Avery doesn t feel good about how he won the prize. What should he do? Smile broadly as he takes the sports fi gures and say nothing. Suggest that they have a lottery for the fi gures because he knew which cup was the winning one. Figure that it was his right to win because he was the fi rst one there. Talk to his priest in confession. Tell himself that the fi gures aren t expensive, so it can t be stealing