CONFLICT RESOLUTION WORKSHOP

Transcription

1 CONFLICT RESOLUTION WORKSHOP Participant s Manual D E L T A S I G M A T H E T A S O R O R I T Y, I N C.

2 Conflicts and disagreements are a part of life. Conflict is unavoidable; it s human nature. Conflict is inevitable; it s healthy, and it can be resolved. Since we must live with conflict, how can we adjust our own behavior to make the process go more smoothly and create a positive end result? When conflicts of any kind arise in our groups, it is absolutely essential that we use effective resolution techniques. If we are to be successful and productive in our chapters and in our Sorority in general, we must learn to solve problems and work together. INTRODUCTION Consistent with our theme for the biennium as articulated by our 23 rd National President, Dr. Louise Rice, One Mission, One Sisterhood: Empowering Communities through Committed Service, the Leadership Academy developed this workshop to provide a means for sorors and others to work through and resolve disputes and foster quality decision making and productivity in the Sorority and in the community. 2

3 Introductions Meditation Purpose/Objectives Defining Conflict/Conflict Resolution Signals of Conflict Sources of Conflict Learning Activity 1 Perceptions of Conflict Learning Activity 2 Methods of Resolving Conflict Learning Activity 3 Skills Needed for Resolving Conflict Steps for Resolving Conflict When Conflict Cannot be Resolved Conflict Resolution Action Plan Wrap-up/Evaluation AGENDA 3

4 GOAL: The goal of this session is to help participants identify and gain a better understanding of conflict and to provide techniques for improving conflict resolution and communication. OBJECTIVES: Increase understanding of conflict in individual environments GOAL/OBJECTIVES Increase ability to identify sources, and development processes of conflict Examine conflict resolution methods Identify possible responses to conflict Identify skills needed to approach conflict constructively Resolve sample conflict and build a climate of internal cooperation within the organization Develop a conflict resolution action plan 4

5 Introduction As in personal life, conflict in organizations is a normal thing. It is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about -- in fact, conflict contributes to the health of organizations, workplaces and communities. In today s environment of competing interests and diversity of needs, we need specific skills in order to address conflict constructively. Today s climate of constraint and competition has a way of increasing tension and reducing the energy available to work on the mission, goals and objectives of an organization. Delivery of programs and services suffers as organizations become concerned with survival. CONFLICT RESOLUTION Internal conflict and lack of cooperation are serious issues facing most organizations today. Whether the conflict is between the board and staff, board and executive, national, regional and local entities, conflict is taking energy away from effective leadership and management of the organization. Conflicts will develop. How we deal with them is what is important. Cultural differences play a significant role. Personal and cultural values have an impact on both perception of conflicts and the methods used to solve them. Certain approaches or techniques do not always work, nor do they work in every culture. Not all conflicts can be resolved. This workshop is designed to help better identify and understand conflict, how to resolve it, and how to establish a climate of cooperation in our organizations. Participants have an opportunity to work on skills and techniques that can help them deal more effectively with conflict. How we respond to a conflict or potential conflict can determine whether it is prevented, resolved or allowed to escalate into an all-out dispute. View differences of opinion as opportunities to learn rather than obstacles to overcome. Adapted from: Kent, J. and Touwen, A. Workshop on Conflict Resolution. International Federation of University Women: Geneva, Switzerland,

6 Conflict is a process which involves opposing forces and differing objectives struggling with opposing needs, values, goals, ideas, and beliefs. Key Elements: Signals Two individuals must be involved. There must be a thread or struggle with fear or loss. Interaction or interference must be involved. An emotional transaction may be present. WHAT IS CONFLICT? Unclear jurisdictions: Unclear boundaries of responsibility and authority Rivalry: Competing for rewards and limited resources Barriers in communication: Lack of effective communication skills Status in the organization: Levels of authority, types, numbers of specific tasks, etc. Need for consensus: Escalation of disagreement in decision making Regulations of Conduct: Imposing controls such as rules, regulations, and policies 6

7 Certain experiences let us know when a conflicting situation is developing. What signals conflict for you? SIGNALS OF CONFLICT When you receive signals, how do you responsd? 7

8 Conflicts can arise from numerous sources and generally fall into the following categories: communication factors, structural factors, and personal factors. Some sources of conflict are: Clash of values, goals, styles, culture, procedures, structures Faulty communication -- misinterpretation, distortion Role incompatibility, role ambiguity Stressful working conditions Unresolved prior conflicts Power structure within the organization Distribution of means -- money, time, staff, space Relational -- loyalty, breach of confidence, lack of respect, betrayal SOURCES OF CONFLICT Before deciding on how to resolve conflict, it is very important to know the source of the conflict. Resolving conflict is not always easy. It must be analyzed before strategies are decided for resolution. 8

9 Sources of conflict What sources of conflict have you observed in your sorority chapter, workplace, or other organization? Review the following examples of sources of conflict and check any that are relevant to your situation. Also, list others that are relevant but may not be listed. ACTIVITY 1 Discuss the sources of conflict with a partner to determine what are perceived as the most common causes of conflict in your chapter/other organization. Discuss who the conflict was between. Short term pressures versus long-term goals Differing perceptions, values, cultural norms Unclear jurisdictions: lack of clarity, competition for resources Needs such as power, status, ego, recognition, self-worth Faulty communication -- misinterpretation, distortion Role incompatibility, role ambiguity Stressful working conditions Unresolved prior conflicts Change -- Not wanting to let go of the old Other sources 9

10 Too many times, we think of conflict as a negative process; however, conflict can be both constructive and destructive. Conflict is Constructive when it results in clarification, serves as a release to pent-up emotions and stress; when parties understand each others needs, and use the conflict to build cooperation and trust. Conflict is Destructive when it diverts energy, polarizes groups and deepens differences; parties take either-or positions, believing their way is right and develop negative feelings toward each other. Kent, J. and Touwen, A. Workshop on Conflict Resolution. IFUW: Geneva, Switzerland, At first, people begin to perceive differences of opinion in the organization about a specific issue. If the organization is healthy, it will address the differences immediately so that they won t expand into an unexpressed sense that there is a problem and no one is doing anything about it. If the issue is not addressed, it will likely be discussed in informal situations causing misinformation and negative impact. The conflict should be addressed openly and fairly so that emotions don t get too high and people don t get fixed too firmly in their positions. PERCEPTIONS OF CONFLICT Key factors about conflict: Conflict is neither good nor bad Conflict is inevitable Conflict does not have to end with winners and losers Too frequently the parties involved view themselves as innocent victims who represent the side of truth and fairness Too frequently both parties perceive all destructive behavior as coming from others and are completely blind to the same behavior exhibited by themselves or their supporters. 10

11 Perceptions of Conflict Please answer the following questions by circling the statements closest to your feelings and beliefs. There are no right or wrong answers. 1. Circle the statement(s) that best expresses how you perceive or feel about conflict? ACTIVITY 2 a. Conflict is unnatural. b. Something is wrong with people who are causing conflict. c. Conflict is part of our daily life. d. Conflict may be exciting and should be welcome. e. Conflict must be quickly and necessarily resolved. f. Conflict can be positive and constructive. Conflict is a virtual necessity for growth and change, for individuals and groups. g. I don t like conflict, and I try to avoid it. h. Most conflict takes place within the context of an interpersonal relationship. 2. What statement(s) best describes how you feel conflicts should be expressed? a. Conflict should be expressed as soon as possible in order for it to disappear. b. Expression of a conflict only worsens things it is better to keep it to yourself. c. Conflicts are a private matter and should be resolved in private. d. Conflicts may enrich people and should be resolved publicly. e. I try to see conflicts from both sides and feel that they should be expressed openly between the persons involved. 3. Which statement(s) best describes how you feel about expressing emotions during conflict situations? a. Expression of anger is the best way to get to resolving the conflict. b. It is terribly unpleasant when people cry or yell during meetings; therefore it is important to avoid emotions and keep them calm. c. Emotions often cloud the case and therefore, should not be expressed. Emotions disable logical thinking and weaken the position of the parties. Emotions strengthen a party s position. d. People have to express their emotions before they can go on with resolving the conflict. There are no right or wrong answers. Your responses to the above statements are greatly influenced by your background and culture. How did your cultural background influence your perceptions? Adapted from: Kent, J. and Touwen, A. Workshop on Conflict Resolution. International Federation of University Women: Geneva, Switzerland,

12 The chart below describes the five most commonly used methods for resolving conflict and when each method is appropriate or inappropriate to use. Different situations require different methods. The method used depends on context, issue, goals, and relationships between parties; however, collaboration is preferred, because this will result in a win-win situation. Methods Compete Power Fight Avoid Denial Flight Compromise Negotiation Collaborate Face Accommodate Smooth over Freeze What Happens When Used One s power, position or strength settles the conflict. (I m Ok, you re not OK.) People just avoid a conflict by denying its existence (I m not OK; you re not OK.) Each party gives up something in order to meet midway, often leaving both parties dissatisfied (We re both sort of OK) Mutual respect and agreement to work together to resolve the conflict (I m OK, you re OK) Differences are played down and surface harmony is maintained (You re OK; I m not OK) Appropriate to Use When When power comes with position of authority and this method has been agreed on Conflict is relatively unimportant, timing is wrong, a cooling off period is needed Both parties are better off with a compromise than attempting a win-lose stance Time is available; parties committed to working together as we versus the problem, not we-they When preservation of the relationship is more important at the moment Inappropriate to Use When Losers are powerless to express themselves or their concerns Conflict is important and will not disappear, but will continue to build Solution becomes so watered down that commitment by both parties is doubtful Time, commitment and ability are not present If smoothing over leads to evading the issue when others are ready to deal with it BASIC METHODS FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT 12

13 Have you used any of the methods described in the chart on page 11 to work through conflict in your sorority chapter, community, workplace, or other organization? Cite conflicts you have experienced and decide if any of these methods would assist you in resolving the conflict. ACTIVITY 3 As a group, select one of the conflicts you have discussed to use as an example as we discuss additional information, skills and techniques on resolving conflict. Use the questions below. QUESTIONS: 1. What is the conflict? 2. What is the source of the conflict? 3. What methods did you use to resolve the conflict? 4. What is the result of what has been done to date? 13

14 Each of the next slides will ask you to tell how you would respond in a given situation. SITUATION 1. Describe how you would feel. WHAT IS YOUR STYLE? 2. Describe your first instinctive action. 3. Describe what you would do after you give the situation serious thought. 4. What method did you use: compete, avoid, compromise, collaborate, accommodate? 14

15 SITUATION 1 SITUATION 1 Soror Kindly arrived at chapter meeting with no means of Delta identification. No one in the chapter knew her. Because you are Sergeant-at- Arms, you refuse to admit her. She becomes irate, threatening and boisterous. Her language usage patterns become offensive. It is your job to maintain order so that the meeting is not interrupted. 15

16 SITUATION 2 SITUATION 2 As chapter president, you received a call this morning from a soror who wanted her best friend to become a Delta. Because she has been a soror for several years, she was very distressed that her letter was not strong enough to garner the votes needed to admit her to the membership intake process. She has accused you of partiality and is threatening to stop the entire process by any means necessary. You believe that you can talk to her. 16

17 SITUATION 3 SITUATION 3 May Week is approaching. The chapter has elaborate plans on which the membership voted. As the time draws near, sorors have not completed their preparatory assignments and interest takes a downward turn as final exams approach. The president has exams to take as well, but has invited speakers and ordered food for the planned activities. She tries to engage the vice president in planning strategies to get sorors motivated. The vice president is less than cooperative and suggests that these activities are solely the ideas of the president They have argued the issue with selected chapter members, in chapter meetings, and with each other whenever they meet. 17

18 In order to resolve conflict in a constructive and respectful manner, we need to employ the skills of Assertive Communication Negotiation Skills and Process Mediation Skills and Process Assertive Communication: The ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others. Three Steps to Assertive Communication: 1. Statement of problem: Describe your difficulty/dissatisfaction, tell why you need something to change. 2. Empathy/validation statement: Try to say something that shows you under stand the other person's feelings. This shows them that you're not trying to pick a fight, and it takes the wind out of their sails. 3. Statement of what you want: This is a specific request for a specific change in the other person's behavior. SKILLS NEEDED TO RESOLVE CONFLICT Assertive Communication: Use body language. Face the other person, stand or sit straight, don't use dismissive gestures, be sure you have a pleasant, but serious facial expression, keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive. Use "I" statements. Keep the focus on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Example: "I'd like to be able to tell my stories without interruption." instead of "You're always interrupting my stories!" Use facts, not judgments. Example: "Your punctuation needs work and your formatting is inconsistent." instead of "This is sloppy work." or "Did you know that shirt has some spots?" instead of "You're not going out looking like THAT, are you?" Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and opinions. Example: "I get angry when he breaks his promises." instead of "He makes me angry." or "I believe the best policy is to " instead of "The only sensible thing is to " Make clear, direct, requests. Don't invite the person to say no. Example: "Will you please...?" instead of "Would you mind?" or "Why don't you?" 18

19 Negotiation: Negotiation is a discussion between two or more individuals who are trying to work out a mutually satisfactory solution to their problem. Negotiations typically take place because the parties wish to resolve a problem or dispute between them. When parties negotiate, they usually expect give and take. Win-win negotiation is the best approach. It stresses common interests and goals. Steps in the Negotiation Process: Identify the problem Use active listening skills Brainstorm ideas for the solution SKILLS NEEDED TO RESOLVE CONFLICT Select on if the suggested solutions Make a contract Try out the solution Review the contract for problems 19

20 Mediation: Mediation is a process in which a neutral third-party assists in resolving a dispute between two or more other parties. It is a non-adversarial approach to conflict resolution. The Role of the Mediator: The role of the mediator is to facilitate communication between the parties, assist them in focusing on the real issues of the dispute, and generate options that meet the interests or needs of all relevant parties in an effort to resolve the conflict. Steps in the mediation process Preparation Reconstruction of the conflict SKILLS NEEDED TO RESOLVE CONFLICT Definition of points of dispute and agreement Creating acceptance options for agreement Forming an agreement 20

21 Understanding Yourself One of the most important skills you need for resolving conflict is an understanding of yourself. Think about a conflict you ve had. Answer the questions below about yourself as honestly as you can. Prepare a brief paragraph describing yourself in confronting the conflict. What are my strengths? What are my limitations? How well do I listen? What are my prejudices and biases? What kind of climate do I create during discussions? How do I define fair? SKILLS NEEDED TO RESOLVE CONFLICT What are my needs during conflict resolution? Brief paragraph describing yourself in confronting conflict. - 21

22 The steps below in the resolution process can be used as a basis for personal interactions and can result in more organizational productivity. Remember, it takes the commitment of all parties involved to move through conflict in a positive way. Step 1 - Create a Receptive Atmosphere Location Timing Preparation Opening statements Step 2 Define the Problem (Disagreement) Maintain rapport at all times Listen carefully Avoid stereotyping. Recognize the other's needs and values. Empathize - ask why they feel the way they do. Clear up misconceptions you may have of them. Step 3 Discuss Each Party s Contribution to the Problem Discuss personal behavior. Identify personal failings. STEPS FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT Step 4 Generate Options for Solutions (Brainstorm) Be open to all ideas and suggestions. Treat all options with respect. Look for common options. Identify options that are acceptable to all involved. Avoid past experiences that interfere with current decisions Step 5 Develop Solutions That Have Best Chance for Success Solutions that promote fair advantages on any sides Solutions based on shared input and information from all parties Solutions that are trust builders - confidence in working together Solutions that meet shared needs Step 6 Develop an Implementation Plan Decide who does what and when. Set a timeline. Be specific about the tasks. Emphasize basic actions/behaviors that cannot be altered or compromised. Step 7 - Develop a process for evaluating effectiveness Incorporate this process into the implementation plan. Decide when and how progress will be measured. Step 8 - Schedule A Meeting to Discuss Progress 22

23 In order for the conflict resolution process to be successful, it must reflect the organization s values and be modeled and followed by all parties involved in the organization. Otherwise, the process will fail. Once all steps in the conflict resolution process have been exhausted and there is no resolution, you may simply have to let it go. When all parties don t agree to come together voluntarily and work cooperatively on the issues, it may be necessary to make a decision to let go of the unresolved conflict and move on with life. How to let go when conflict can not be resolved: Let go of the conflict when you know that you have made every attempt to resolve it. There are some issues that all parties will never agree on. When this happen, and all parties have made an effort at resolution, let it go. Drop it. You gave it your best shot. The success in this situation is that you gave it your all, and you tried your best. Let go of conflict when relationships have improved. Sometimes in discussing a situation, the focus will be redirected on other issues and these issues become more important than negotiating a specific disagreement. Let go of the conflict by simply making a decision to do so. There is power in your own personal choice. You may discover that letting it go, grants you freedom and empowerment. WHEN CONFLICT CAN NOT BE RESOLVED 23

24 Think about a conflict you are currently involved with. Decide how you will resolve it. Complete the following action plan chart to show the action you will take. Describe the Conflict and the source of the conflict. What can you do? How will you do it? CONFLICT RESOLUTION ACTION PLAN Who needs to be involved? When will you resolve it? (Time line) 24

25 REFERENCES Burton, John, and Frank Dukes, eds. 1990b. Conflict: Readings in Management and Resolution. New York: St. Martin's Press. REFERENCES Deutsch, M. (1973). The resolution of conflict: Constructive and destructive processes. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press. Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown Getting Together: Building a Relationship that Gets to Yes. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Folger, Joseph P., and Marshall Scott Poole Working through Conflict: A Communication Perspective. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foresman. Johnson, D. W. (1970). Social psychology of education. Edina, MN: Interaction Book Company. Johnson, D. W., & Johnson, F. (1994). Joining together: Group theory and group skills (5th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Johnson, D. W., & Johnson, R. T. (1995b). Our mediation notebook (2nd ed.). Edina, MN: Interaction Book Company. Kent, J. and Touwen, A. Workshop on Conflict Resolution. International Federation of University Women: Geneva, Switzerland, Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument, XICOM, Publisher. Weeks, Dudley. Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution. Los Angeles: Jeremy Tarcher, Inc

26 The Leadership Academy Ann Davis Jones, Ph.D., Chair Jeri Rochelle Durham, Co-Chair Jametria Aldridge Margaret Bentley Deloris Johnson Drakes Stephanie Flowers, LAC Liaison Kendra Johnson Patricia A. Lee Dr. Sandra Mack Octavia Matthews Sherina Maye Dr. Mabel Lake Murray Rose A Lee Roche Dr. Norma H. Sermon-Boyd Glenell Strum Smoot Dr. Barbara Woods Dr. Synovia Youngblood THE LEADERSHIP ACADEMY 26