Definition of self-esteem

Transcription

1 Definition of self-esteem Self-esteem, self confidence and self worth Definition of self-esteem according to Wikipedia; In psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall self-appraisal of their own worth. 1. The original definition (by William James)presents self-esteem as a ratio found by dividing one s successes in areas of life of importance to a given individual by the failures in them or one s success / pretensions. 2. Morris Rosenberg and social-learning theorists defined self-esteem in terms of a stable sense of personal worth or worthiness, measurable by self-report (Rosenberg self esteem scale). This became the most frequently used definition for research. The third definition (according to Wikipedia) is made by Nathaniel Branden, but I chose a more detailed description from the author s famous book: The power of self-esteem; Self-esteem is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life. More specifically, self-esteem is 1. Confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the basic challenges of life. 2. Confidence in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants and to enjoy the fruits of our efforts. Self-esteem is your control, your approach toward the attacks of reality. Your self-esteem is your appraisal, your evaluation and your feelings about yourself. Your opinion of the person who you have been living with since you were born: Yourself. You are the one who has to set and follow your goals. You are the one who can deploy your ability to feel confident and to boost your self-esteem to the highest level possible. A negative self image creates massive stressors in your life because you are always in doubt, never feeling like you fit in and never thinking you are good enough. What is high self esteem? High self esteem is when you feel good, happy, satisfied about yourself. When you think you are capable of achieving anything. When you have lots of energy, when you are focused, confident and persistent to visit success anytime.

2 What is low self esteem? Basically the opposite. When you don t feel good about yourself. When you think you are not worth of even trying to move forward. When you are focusing on your weaknesses instead of paying attention to your strengths. Self Respect Do you have self respect? We aren t talking about an over inflated mob boss, street punk type of respect. We re talking about having the same respect for yourself as you would for anyone else. There are many people who regularly talk down to themselves. They use language and berate themselves in ways they would never think of applying to another human being. This lack of self appreciation for oneself is destructive and demeaning. The sad part is, if you ask any of these people if they think they are too hard on themselves, they would probably say no! They probably would even tell you they are not hard ENOUGH on themselves, and start beating themselves up all over again right then and there! If you catch yourself saying things to yourself like Stupid! or Why do you always screw things up! or Look at all that ugly fat! - stop right there and ask yourself if you would consider it respectful to say those things to someone else. Often it is self hatred or loathing that subconsciously makes you feel you are worth nothing, and your inner voice reinforces these beliefs. Don t let misplaced guilt or shame force you towards the belief that you do not deserve respect! Once you start to come to terms with the whole you, both the good and the bad, you can start praising yourself for the things you do right and working on the things you get wrong. Then you can honestly say you are worthy of your own respect, and start standing up to yourself, FOR yourself. Next time you start to come down on yourself, hold off and reexamine why you feel you need a talking to. Instead of saying Why didn t you remember to pick up the dry cleaning? You never do anything right!, pretend that you are talking to a child or a coworker, and say Looks like you forgot the dry cleaning today. I know you were extremely busy, and it slipped your mind. What can we do to make sure you won t forget it tomorrow? Once you start treating yourself with the same respect you show others, you will start feeling worthy of it. You can work on the problem areas in your life without being judgmental or talking down to yourself, and you will finally be able to regain your self respect. You deserve it! Self confidence techniques can balance your fluctuating mood. Everybody has ups and downs in life.there are no exceptions for that. Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy represent the

3 contradictory expressions in life probably the best; dark - light, feminine - masculine, passive - active, negative - positive, being sad - being happy, hell - heaven, Pepsi - Coke (just kidding). These are just very few examples. You have to accept them and not to fight against them. Belief, faith and trust in your abilities What is self confidence? Being certain about yourself. (Assertiveness if you like) Energy that creates the power to think and act The strength of your thoughts Security Good feeling Self confidence is your belief, faith or assurance in order to reach your goals. It s based on reality. Self confidence and self-esteem are related. The more confident you are the higher the level of your self-esteem. Self confidence techniques help you to better take care of yourself, to create a strong base for your self-esteem and to live in peace with your inner power to express yourself fully. Let s see some self confidence techniques; SPORT ACTIVITY. Do not forget about the healing power of physical activity. After a good run, playing baseball with your kids, after releasing the steam from your body and mind you feel that you are on the top of the world. Use nature as often as possible. Feeling tired, exhausted? Open the window, take a deep breath or go for a walk. - WATCH HOW YOU SIT AND STAND. Lift up your chin, pull back your shoulder, stomach in, chest out and tell me that you are ready to climb the Mount Everest. - THE WAY YOU DRESS. Have you ever felt in your new t-shirt or in your coolest new pair of shoes that Popeye was going out to pick up some chicks? - VISUALIZATION TECHNIQUES. One of the most important tools among self confidence techniques. You have to visualize success. Use your imagination to form your bright, positive future in your mind. - SMILE has probably the strongest effect on people. When you take a walk or go for a meeting start with smiling at the first seconds. Just look at their face, their reaction to your warm, friendly smile. They will most likely respond back to you on the same way, with a big smile in return your friendliness. If they don t, tell them to read my website for further advice.

4 - SEE AND PLAN THE FUTURE. Set up small, achievable goals for yourself. - REWARD YOURSELF after the job is done. No matter how small your achievement is give yourself some time to enjoy it. - READ books, LISTEN to tapes or CDs about personal development. There are lots of them available in Public Libraries all over the country. And they are free. Put a CD into your car when you drive to work. People spend at least an hour or more every day sitting in their car. Use that time to grow, to prosper MIND POWER. Use the potential of your mind power to change the direction of your thoughts. Use one or two of these self confidence techniques for couple days and see the difference in your attitude. The easiest one is probably smiling. That creates a warm, friendly atmosphere around you. Pay attention on how you sit and stand. You do not have to be so concerned about it, just do it whenever you feel comfortable with it. One of the most powerful among the self confidence techniques is to ask questions.if you are in a certain situation ask yourself questions like; What is the situation? What caused the situation? What can I personally do to create a win-win solution? What should I do to solve the situation? Should I say something or better be silent? Should I do something or not? If you think about these questions or at least one of them you will pause for a second. You will give time to yourself to act properly. You have a little bit of time to digest the circumstances and come up with a better response. This is a very powerful tool to use. Think and act instead of act and think about the consequences. There are situations when you have no time to think it over, but usually pausing can create a more positive response. What Major Factors Can Influence Self Esteem? CULTURE FAMILY

5 RELATIONSHIPS WORK HEALTH FRIENDS SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS TELEVISION, NEWSPAPERS, COMMERCIALS, INTERNET Overcoming Low Self-Esteem: Behavior Change 1. You are responsible for what you think, feel and how you behave. YOU HAVE A CHOICE to accept this responsibility or abdicate it. Either way it is a choice your choice. You are the author of your life and your mindset directly influences your destiny. 2. IT IS NOT the events in your life that cause you to feel a particular way, for instance: sad, angry, upset, happy, content or loving. It is what you think, feel and believe about the event, your interpretation and definition, that is the cause of your feelings. 3. Your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings create your behavior and your behavior reinforces your thoughts. Here s an Example: You arrive late to a party. As you approach a group of friends you notice that they abruptly stop talking. Your automatic thought is, I bet they were talking about me and you automatically feel self conscious and hurt. Driven by your feelings you immediately make-up an excuse to leave the party. Your thought: I bet they were talking about me; your feeling: self consciousness and hurt and your behavior: making up an excuse and leaving the party is actually reinforcing a long-held belief that, People don t like me. So that the next time you see any of these people you will purposely avoid interacting with them and continue the cycle of:

6 People don t like me - I feel self conscious and hurt - I avoid the people who I assumed were talking about me.