The Toronto Catholic District School Board

Transcription

1 The Toronto Catholic District School Board Course: Grade 9 Religion Who Do You Say I Am? Date/Lesson Number: Lesson 8 Unit: Family Life Education How Was I Created? Lesson Topic: Signs of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships Focus Question(s): The purpose of this lesson is to help students learn about the signs of a healthy relationship with others and the signs of an unhealthy relationship with others. Instructional Objective(s): 1) Students will review the scriptural passages that encourage respect for one s body and for others 2) Students will become familiar with the different levels of love and human intimacy. 3) Students will learn that all relationships are an opportunity to experience the love of God through that relationship. 4) Students will learn that there is a clear difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship. 5) Healthy Relationships foster appropriate sharing of information, respect for boundaries, concern for safety, striving for equality, empathy, nurturing, and expression of feelings. New Evangelization Essential Element(s): Key Element III: Morality: How We Live Key Element V: Education for Living in the Christian Community: How We Live in the Community, the Church Element VI: Evangelization and Apostolic Life: How We, as Individuals and Community, Live in Service to the World Key Vocabulary: Love Infatuation Friendship Agape Eros

2 Key Scriptural Passage(s): Romans 12: 10 I Corinthians 13:4-8 Song of Songs/Song of Solomon Key Catechism Reference(s): CCC , CCC 2347, CCC 1878, CCC 1879 Key People: Internet Link(s): Materials required: 1) Sacred Scripture (NRSV) 2) Appendix A 3) Powerpoint Presentation 4) Student Handout 5) News print and markers (one for each participant) 6) Masking tape 7) Computer access to the Internet Prayer learned or reviewed: God of all love, You gave us one another that we may know and share love. You have given us our friends and all those who love and trust us in our lives. Grant us the strength to build healthy friendships and relationships that are strongly rooted in You. Amen.

3 Step by Step Procedures: Task 1: Identifying the Signs of Healthy Relationships: Friendship, Infatuation and Love Participants are asked to identify as many as possible different sorts of human relationships that they can. Example: boyfriend/girlfriend; mother/daughter. You may want to prompt them into considering relationships within these following categories: Family, School, Sports, After-School Activities, Church, and Work Settings. Share the following important points with the class. A. Friendship. What kinds of friendships can you have? Boy-boy; girl-girl; boy-girl; teen-adult; adult-adult. What characterizes friendship? List such things as trust, understanding, inclusive, respect, fun, etc. B. Infatuation is the state of falling in love. What is it like to fall in love? How is it different from friendship? List the characteristics of infatuation such as extremes of happiness or sadness, always having the other person on your mind, feelings of jealousy at times, wanting to be exclusive, even a loss of appetite. C. Love. What does it mean to really love someone? This could be love between any two persons. Key concepts should be: deep commitment; trust; willing to sacrifice; and willingness to forgive. Long term friendships (A) can lead to love. Ask the students, Does infatuation (B) always lead to love? What needs to happen in between in order to lead to a lasting and committed relationship? [It is important for the students to understand that deep and abiding friendships can lead to love.] How can infatuation be confused with love? Task 2: Identifying the Signs of Unhealthy Relationships Participants should be asked to identify what constitutes an unhealthy relationship. (20 minutes) Answers could include, but are not exclusive to secrecy, blurred boundaries, preoccupation, coercion, power imbalance, lack of freedom or consent, hurtful to others, lack of empathy, and/or causing isolation. There are many mixed messages in the media about relationships that can be confusing. Often, in our movies or songs, we have representations of a love that seems to be: 1) Possessive - This is often evidenced by the language we use, my boy/girlfriend, my prom/wedding vs. ours. Jealousy is the clearest symptoms of this. 2) Selective This is a pick and choose mentality about a friendship/relationship. We choose to be in relationship for the good or easy times but avoid the difficult. 3) Fragile - We always have to be very careful as to not offend or to do damage to the relationship. 4) Limiting - It always seems that the relationship is more about getting than giving. Acts of selfishness do not keep us open to the grace of God s friendship. They can confuse us and others about God s purpose for the human body which is created to love and not to use.

4 Selfish acts are sinful but loving acts communicates gift, commitment, trust, affection, and respect. What are the implications of love which is possessive, selective, fragile and limiting? Ask the students what do high school relationships look like? What combination of the above letters would they use to describe these relationships? What kind of relationship would be ideal in a committed relationship and the best preparation for marriage? (20 minutes) Task 3: God s Love is? What does our faith teach us about God s love? We are created in God s image and likeness. What do the scriptures and stories of Jesus interaction with others in the gospels teach us about how to love ourselves and others? What are some of those characteristics? Four Characteristics of Love. Free - There are no conditions placed on God s love. God has made an active choice to love and always continues to act upon that choice. Full God s love is complete- God gives himself completely without reservation or qualification. God is invested in you. Faithful God love is consistent and is not diminished by the unfaithfulness of the other. God keeps his commitments Fruitful - God s love is generous. It is a love that does not limit but generates more love. God s love is a love of abundance and is life-giving. (The four characteristics of love are found in Pope Paul VI s encyclical Of Human Life.) (10 minutes)

5 Task 4: The Greek Words for Love. What is the issue at hand? The students will know that the New Testament was written originally in Greek. There are six different Greek words for love which are used in the Bible. The question is what is distinct about Christian love and what can we learn about how to live healthy relationships of love? Kinds of Love [Greek Words for Love and Levels of Intimacy in the Bible] Gennao [Brought forth, begotten, conceived in love] Storge [Affection and love in families, communities] Philia [Friendship, brotherly/sisterly love] Eros [Physical, passionate, sexual and emotional love] Hetaireia [Love based upon companionship and a sharing of common issues] Agape [Spiritual, Sacrificial, selfless, unconditional] Pope Benedict in his encyclical, God is Love (2006) offers the following teaching: (summarized) Of the three Greek words for love eros, philia (the love of friendship) and agape New Testament writers prefer the last, which occurs rather infrequently in Greek usage. As for the term philia, the love of friendship, it is used with added depth of meaning in John s Gospel in order to express the relationship between Jesus and his disciples. The tendency to avoid the word eros, together with the new vision of love expressed through the word agape, clearly points to something new and distinct about the Christian understanding of love. It is neither the spirit alone nor the body alone that loves: It is the human, the person, a unified creature composed of body and soul, who loves. Only when both dimensions are truly united does a human attain his full stature. Only thus is love when eros is able to mature and attain its authentic grandeur. In other words, eros (romantic love) is able to mature when placed in the context of loving relationships (family, friendship and community).

6 Assessment Assignment: Student HANDOUT Name: Date: 1. What is the difference between friendship, infatuation and love? 2. What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship? 3. What are the four characteristics of love? Give examples. 4. What are the six Greek words for love that are used in the Bible? Give examples of each.

7 Thought Provoker Did you know that love is more than a four letter word? Alternate Assignment: Students could research the different Greek words for love and give presentations based on appropriate visual clips or pictures that reflect the ways young people can choose positive ways of expressing these kinds of love. Adaptations (for students with learning disabilities): The characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships could be listed and compared with pictures from news media, magazines and the internet to illustrate the words, meaning and positive choices teens can make in their communities. Their presentations could be used for class presentations and discussion, especially if there are new insights that help everyone become more inclusive and aware of diversity in their school. Extensions (for gifted students): From an interview with Pope Benedict XVI on German Television- August 5, 2006 [Abridged] Pope Benedict: Firstly you have to know what we really want, right? Christianity, Catholicism, isn't a collection of prohibitions: it's a positive option. It's very important that we look at it again because this idea has almost completely disappeared today. We've heard so much about what is not allowed that now it's time to say: we have a positive idea to offer, that man and woman are made for each other, that the scale of sexuality, eros, agape, indicates the level of love and it's in this way that marriage develops, first of all, as a joyful and blessing-filled encounter between a man and a woman, and then the family, that guarantees continuity among generations and through which generations are reconciled to each other and even cultures can meet. So, firstly it's important to stress what we want. Questions: 1) What are the different levels of love and human intimacy? 2) How are young Catholic Christians called to live with integrity and encouraged to grow in healthy relationships with their peers and choose positive options?