Some things to remember

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1 IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED There is a great deal that we can do for all students proactively to help minimize the risk of being bullied. As well, this is important information for those who are already victims since research shows that quite often, victims of bullying have quite often experienced this before. Kids Help Phone offers the following tip sheet for young people. Do You Feel Targeted? Here are some things to try and some things to remember if you re being harassed and want it to stop. Talk to someone you trust, like your parents, friend, a teacher, a counselor or coach. They can offer support and help develop a plan to end the harassment. Think about how your behaviour may be making the problem bigger or smaller. Ignore the bully and walk away.. make them think you just don t care. Laugh it off.. humour shows you re not bothered. Stay close to students you can count on to stick up for you. Stay away from areas where bullying tends to happen. Act confident hold your head up, make eye contact, and walk confidently. Make the time to do things that help you feel good about yourself. Some things to remember You re not alone lots of students struggle with bullying and harassment. Do what s right retaliating might get you in trouble. Keep your cool and walk away, even though you might be upset. Share your feelings with people you trust you don t have to struggle alone. It s not your fault no one deserves to be bullied. Be assertive, not aggressive fighting back can make things worse. It s okay to ask for help you don t have to solve this problem on your own.

2 IF YOU ARE A BULLY Kids Help Phone has some excellent advice for students of all ages who engage in bullying behaviours. Please share and if necessary, teach these strategies: I Think I Bully Other Kids, How Can I Stop? Here s 10 things you can do if you bully and are ready to stop 1. Talk to an adult who can help, such as a teacher or a parent. They can help you get along with others. 2. Ask a friend to help you stop if you start to bully other kids. 3. Set goals each day to make it easier not to bully, like Today I ll help other kids and not hurt them. 4. If you start to bully, walk away and find something else to do. 5. Remember that you don t have to like everyone around you, but you do have to treat them with respect. 6. Remember that everyone is different. Different doesn t mean better or worse than you. 7. Think about what it feels like to be bullied would you want to be treated that way? 8. Say sorry to the kids you have bullied. 9. Know that if other kids watch and laugh, it doesn t mean they like it when you bully. 10. Think before you speak are your words going to help or hurt another student? Some other strategies include: Talk to someone who can help: an older student, your friends, classroom teacher, guidance counselor, school principal, sports coach, parents or any adult you trust. They can help you find ways to get along with other children. Ask a friend to help you stop if you start to bully others. Set goals each day to make it easier not to bully. Keep your cool. (eg. Today I ll help others rather than hurt them.) Understand that you may not like everyone around you, but you do have to treat them with respect. Appreciate kids differences different doesn t mean worse or better than you. Put yourself in other kids shoes. Would you want to be picked on, beat up, or excluded? Apologize to the kids you have bullied. Resist peer pressure to bully do what s right. Be a real leader real leaders treat others with respect Some more things to try:

3 BULLY Continued Make an excuse and walk away from situations where you might bully. Find ways to use your power and influence in a positive rather than a negative way. Avoid situations where you ve bullied others in the past. Apologize to the people you ve hurt even if it means sending an anonymous note. Hang out with friends who will help keep you in check. Some things to remember: Take responsibility for what you ve done and the students you have hurt. Remember that everyone is unique and different different doesn t mean worse or better than you. Avoid using stereotypes and labels. See people as individuals, not as sexist, racist and other stereotypes. It s okay to ask for help. You don t have to do this on your own It is hard to change.

4 THE ROLE OF THE BYSTANDER Those who witness acts of bullying have a unique position of power and influence. It is a known fact that their presence, cheering, laughter, etc. empowers those who bully and add to the shame and humiliation of those who are victims. It is also known that even though the bully may have an audience, many in that audience do not agree with the acts and may be disgusted or upset with what is transpiring, however may not have the skills or knowledge or confidence to intervene either directly in the situation or indirectly by informing an adult. Kids Help Phone has excellent ideas and strategies we can teach to all students who find themselves in the bystander position: I See Kids Being Bullied, What Should I Do? Here s 10 things you can do if you see other kids being bullied. 1. Talk to an adult who can help, like a teacher or a parent. 2. Stand up for kids who are bullied they need your help. 3. Invite kids who are bullied to play with you somewhere else. 4. Comfort kids who are bullied and tell them they don t deserve to be treated like that. 5. The best thing you can do for kids who are bullied is to be their friend. 6. Tell kids who bully to back off Bullying is NOT cool! 7. If it s hard for you to speak up on your own, ask a friend to do it with you. 8. Let other kids know that you don t like what you see by turning around and walking away. 9. Help kids who bully, don t hurt them speaking out helps, bullying back doesn t help. 10. Be aware if you see bullying, do something about it. Bullying can stop if we all get involved. Some other strategies we can teach: Talk to someone who can help: An older student, your friends, classroom eacher, guidance counselor, school principal, sports coach, parents, or any adult you trust. Remember telling is not tattling. Telling is what you do to get someone out of trouble. Tattling is what you do to get someone into trouble. If you walk away and get help you are part of the solution. If you stay and watch you are part of the problem. Stand up for kids who are bullied they can t do it themselves. The best thing you can do for kids who are bullied is to be their friend. Comfort the person who was hurt and make it known that what happened was not fair or deserved. YOU help to make your school a better place by doing your part to stop bullying.

5 BYSTANDER Continued Some more things to try: Be assertive, not aggressive speaking out helps, fighting and insulting others doesn t. Ask for help from friends in speaking out against harassment there s strength in numbers. Make an anonymous report to school staff if it s too hard to speak out publicly. Invite the student being harassed to leave the situation with you. Some things to remember: Be aware wouldn t you want someone to step in if you were being harassed? Avoid encouraging the harassment by watching and laughing send the message that you don t like what s going on. Turn away, don t watch. It only takes one person to take a stand before others will follow their lead. Have the courage to be that person. Stand up for others who are targeted they may not be able to do it for themselves. Stay safe if speaking out doesn t make the bullying stop; get help from someone who can safely intervene. Violence and harassment is everyone s problem and we all have to get involved if it s going to stop

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