Building Self-Esteem

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1 Building Self-Esteem

2 Objectives Define self-esteem. Describe how self-esteem develops. Explain how media messages can affect one s self-esteem. Assess your own self-esteem. Name the best way to raise self-esteem. Name at least three other ways of raising your self-esteem. Make a plan to improve your own self-esteem.

3 Self-Esteem Self-esteem: pride in and acceptance of yourself; sense of personal worth. Self-esteem Influences: - relationships w/family, friends, teachers, bosses. - School - Work - Self

4 Development Development begins at birth. Reflection of we are treated by important people (parents, guardians, people seen frequently ) You see yourself as what you think they think of you.

5 Development Sometimes people don t say what they mean. unaware of interpretation what is said. are influenced by outside source. NOTE: most parents would not intentionally hurt your self-esteem.

6 Development There are more serious situations Neglect/abuse verbally. Neglect/abuse isolation. Neglect/abuse physically. WHAT DO YOU DO?

7 Neglect/Abuse Either you or someone you know being abused? Talk to a teacher, counselor, principle, coach, pastor, another trusted adult, etc. Department of Human Service (DHS)

8 Development Within the first years of life, you have decided on your self-esteem. May not be a conscience decision, but it is a decision. Self-fulfilling Prophecy Decision Thoughts/beliefs Reality

9 RESPOND Once you have developed your self-esteem, can that self-esteem ever change?

10 Answer Decision Thoughts/beliefs Reality It all starts with a decision. Think Back: What is your greatest asset?

11 Answer THE POWER OF CHOICE: In any situation you always have a choice. With each decision you make, you must be willing to accept the consequences, both good and bad. If you don t want to accept the consequences, make a different choice. It is called SELF-esteem for a reason!

12 Continued Development Body Image: a persons perception of his or her appearance, level of fitness, and health. Difficult for Teens: 1. Constant body changes 2. Media Portrayals 3. Standards of Beauty Change Frequently

13 The Mullet Popular in the 1960 s Very popular in the 1980 s early 1990 s. Again popular in the early 2000 s (retro look)

14

15 Big Hair Era

16 Who is this? Standards of Beauty Change Frequently

17 Jennifer Garner

18 Who is this? Standards of Beauty Change Frequently

19 Eminem

20 Who is this? Standards of Beauty Change Frequently

21 Mariah Carey

22 Continued Development Standards of Beauty Change Frequently 1960 s

23 Continued Development Standards of Beauty Change Frequently 1970 s

24 Continued Development Standards of Beauty Change Frequently 1980 s

25 Continued Development Standards of Beauty Change Frequently 1990 s

26 Continued Development Standards of Beauty Change Frequently 2000 s

27 Vanessa Hudgens

28 Jenifer Aniston 1990 s 2000 s

29 Demi Moore

30 Brad Pitt Click Here

31 Media Portrayals HANDOUT: Body Dysmorphic Disorder Article CNN - 2/2/2010 Read Individually 5 Mins Small Groups 5 Mins Group Discussion 5 Mins

32 Media Portrayals Most of what you see in the media is fake. Surgeries Photoshop Airbrush Etc.

33 Media Portrayals What is wrong with her left hip?

34 Media Portrayals Is it really even her?

35 Media Portrayals - Heidi Montag: MTV Reality Series -The Hills - People Magazine (2010): Addicted to Plastic Surgery

36

37 Media Portrayals Unattainable Beauty News Week Click Here

38 Media Portrayals Beauty Transformation Click Here

39 Building Your Self-Esteem Because Self-Esteem is a self reflection of our decision (choice), we can improve our self-esteem.

40 Accept Yourself Accepting yourself = best way to raise self-esteem. How? Assess your strengths & weaknesses Don t be modest. No one needs to know! Don t compare strengths/weaknesses to others.

41 Accept Yourself Understand: Everyone has different strengths/weaknesses You a going to be great in some areas You are going to be not-so-great in other areas NO ONE HAS IT ALL! Use what you have, not worry about what you don t.

42 Accept Yourself Don t spend energy on improving things you can t control. Work on developing new strengths/skills. The sooner you start accepting yourself, the sooner others will accept you (not a fake you).

43 Use Positive Self-Talk We are constantly talking to ourselves. Usually not verbally, but internally: I am an idiot. Why did I do that? My hair is so frizzy I suck at shooting I am so weak I am so fat I can t talk to that girl I am so stupid I am going to fail anyway Why try? My clothes suck I don t have a good smile I am so clumsy I have bad skin

44 Use Positive Self-Talk Positive Self-Talk: talking to yourself in a positive way about your characteristics and abilities.

45 Be Good at Something Everyone has something that they are good at. Playing guitar, singing, drawing, writing, football, volleyball, basketball, making people laugh, being a good friend, listener, reading, leadership, etc Make the most of it!

46 Be Good at Something If you do the things that you are good at, you will build your confidence, thus your self-esteem. If you know you are good at one thing, you won t be afraid or upset to try new things.

47 Use I Statements It is easier to speak in generalizations, but it does not allow you to clearly state how you feel. take responsibility for your feelings. to communicate to others. improve your self-esteem (false understanding).

48 Develop a Support Group Support Group: people in your life whom you trust and with whom you are able to talk openly. Self Disclosure: telling another person meaningful information about yourself.

49 Develop a Support Group Benefits of Support Group: 1. Time to Reflect On Yourself 2. Accurate Perceptions of What Others Think of You 3. Learn From Others 4. Share Same Thoughts/Fears/Triumphs 5. Better Appreciate Similarities/Differences 6. Greater Friendships 7. Increased Self-Esteem IMPORTANT: 1 st Build a relationship on trust and mutual respect before disclosing personal details of your life. Be careful of who you open up to.

50 Develop a Support Group A support group can be 1. A formal meeting of people who come together with the purpose of support. 2. Informal gathering of people who share experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc (most of you will experience this).

51 Develop a Support Group EXERCISE: Write down 5 people who you think could be included into your support group. Why?

52 RESPOND What do you think the relationship is between self-confidence and peer pressure?

53 Resist Peer Pressure Low Self-Esteem Risk of Peer Pressure - Lack of Confidence in Self - Easily Influenced By Others - Searching For Acceptance

54 Resist Peer Pressure Learning to Trust/Make Decisions for yourself Builds Confidence! When you act for yourself, you are the only one responsible for your decisions. Ownership can either hurt or improve your selfesteem (depending on what you do). NOTE: You should still listen for advice, ideas, suggestions of trusted people, but still make your own choices!

55 Act With Integrity Once you appreciate yourself, you can better appreciate the worth of other people. People w/high self-esteem look out for the interest of other people. Self-esteem allows you to treat others w/respect & compassion.

56 Act With Integrity INTEGRITY: What you do, how you think, or how you act when no one is watching (or when you think no one is watching). Are you the same person regardless of the situation?

57 Act With Integrity People w/a low self-esteem are easily manipulated. People w/a high self-esteem would not manipulate. ADDED BONUS: When people with high selfesteem encourage/build-up others, self-esteem is raised even further.

58 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 1: Make a list of your good qualities and keep it with you at all times. Place extra copies on your mirror, in your locker, or other places you will see it. Read over the list on a regular basis and at any time when you experience negative thoughts.

59 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 2: Avoid wasting time thinking about your negatives.

60 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 3: Seek new challenges in your life. Don t be afraid to try new things. Mastering a new task or ability can build self-esteem.

61 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 4: Avoid putting yourself down to others or to yourself. Accept compliments with a thank you and a smile.

62 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 5: Find something that you do very well and work to improve that skill.

63 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 6: Reward yourself when you accomplish a task or finish a project.

64 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 7: Accept the fact that neither you nor anyone else is perfect. Avoid dwelling on mistakes; laugh them off and continue with the positive.

65 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 8: Take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror each day an give yourself a verbal compliment.

66 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 9: Keep yourself well groomed, maintain a positive attitude, and develop a sense of humor to handle difficult situations.

67 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 10: Join at least one activity that involves other people. Volunteer for service with an organization or group in your school or community.

68 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 11: Associate with other positive thinkers in your school and community. Create your own support group of friends who are a positive influence on you and your selfesteem.

69 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 12: Don t fight a fact; deal with it. Try to avoid thinking that people and things in your life that are out of your control should be different. They aren t and that is the reality.

70 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 13: Accept that life does not have to be perfect for you to be happy. Happiness is a way of thinking; a content feeling, not constant euphoria.

71 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 14: Remember that sometimes bad things happen that are not within your control. Expect this and try not to let it set you back too much. Do the best you can to change what you can, and avoid dwelling on what you cannot change.

72 15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem # 15: Remind yourself that each of us is important and valuable. Try to be the best you you can be. Remember, you re the best one for the job.

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