Paragraphs and Topic Sentences

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1 Drafting The drafting stage is where the rough ideas from brainstorming become fuller sentences and paragraphs. If you put some time into brainstorming, the process of drafting will be much easier. Some Tips for Drafting 1. Outline your work. In the drafting stage, it s important to have a plan. Outlines can be a very useful tool because they help you get a general idea of what you will write, and they also organize the order in which you will make your points. Finally, they also give you a place to return to if you get stuck. You can make your outlines point form, or they can include fuller, complete sentences. 2. Go back to the beginning. If you become stuck in the drafting process, return to some of the invention activities mentioned in Module 1. Freewriting, for instance, is a great technique for getting unstuck. Also remember to return to your assignment sheet to clarify the task at hand. 3. Don t worry about being perfect. At first, try not to focus on getting everything perfect. Drafting is about trying things out and playing with ideas. The time to make them perfect comes later. By the time you are finished you will have a rough draft. Paragraphs and Topic Sentences Paragraphs A paragraph is a chunk of writing held together by an idea or topic. Paragraphs can be long or they can be short, but they all have their own particular focus. Paragraphs contain a topic sentence that explains what the paragraph is about, and supporting points that back up the topic sentence. Finally, the concluding sentence can reiterate the original point of the paragraph, transition into the next paragraph, or make conclusions. 1

2 Every sentence in a paragraph should back up the topic sentence. Consider the following paragraph: It s ooey, gooey, goodness. My sister s cheesecake is, without a doubt, the best cheesecake on the planet. The crumbly gram cracker crust is the perfect mix of salty and sweet. She uses only the best ingredients to make the filling, which is light and fluffy. She s not as good at making cookies, though. However, the cherries that top her cheesecake are the perfect tarty treat to finish her famed dessert. Does any particular sentence in the paragraph above seem out of place? The sentence that discusses the sister s cookie baking really doesn t fit with the rest of the paragraph. This sentence throws the reader off because it doesn t discuss what the topic sentence promises (cheesecake). When writing a paragraph, always stop to check each sentence against your topic sentence. Does each sentence say something further about the topic, or does it lead the reader off on a tangent? Topic Sentences What is a topic sentence? The topic sentence establishes what a paragraph is about, and the rest of the paragraph supports the topic sentence. For the purposes of the Head Start Program, the topic sentence should be the second sentence in your paragraph, right after a sentence that is used to get the reader s attention (also known as the attentiongetter). Do not assume that every paragraph has a topic sentence that is located in the same spot, though. In many complex paragraphs, the topic sentence may not necessarily be at the very beginning. How to develop a proper topic sentence When developing a topic sentence, remember the Goldilocks approach the scope of your topic sentence shouldn t be too broad or too narrow. You want something that has just the right size scope. For instance, consider the following examples: Example: Cell phones should be banned in schools. This topic is too broad to be covered in one paragraph, and does not make a good topic sentence. Further, it s not specific enough what kind of schools? High schools? Elementary schools? Colleges? 2

3 Example: Cell phones should be banned from high schools to cut down on student distractions. This topic sentence is much more specific, and its narrowness means that the paragraph that follows will have a much clearer focus. Example: Don t text while you drive to work today. This statement is much too narrow and specific. It will be very hard to come up with three points with supporting details to support this statement. Most of what needs to be said has already been said. Example: Ontario s ban on texting and driving will save lives. This example is specific, but not too narrow to limit what can be said. Other things to avoid when writing a topic sentence Try to avoid announcing when writing a topic sentence. This kind of writing delays the point of your sentence and is unnecessary. Example: In this paragraph, I will discuss the reasons why hybrid car batteries are not so green. This sentence takes quite a bit of time to get to what it s about. The reader is delayed in receiving the main point. This means that they can become confused or even bored with the writing. Example: Hybrid car batteries are not so green. This topic sentence is much more specific and direct. It gets to the point quickly. 3

4 Brainstorming Activity: Mind Map Purpose This assignment will help you practice mind mapping and to help you generate ideas for your second and third body paragraphs. Instructions A mind map, sometimes called a thought web, is an excellent way to begin generating ideas for a piece of writing. The general idea is to begin with your topic at the centre of the page and see what ideas branch off from there. You add more bubbles and branches as your thinking about a topic deepens. Don t leave anything out! Brainstorming is not the time to worry about whether or not an idea is good enough. It s just an idea! It s ok if it is not fully formed yet. You might return to your mind map and see an idea that didn t seem great, but that is exactly the thing that you should write about. Mind maps are great for brainstorming supporting points. Keeping in mind your thesis statement, create a mind map for each of your two remaining body paragraphs. Try to come up with as many branches/ideas as you can. 4

5 Example Mind Map Activity help students write lots of computers Writing Centre friendly help students relax close to Williams help in dorms good food on campus Food Services Services for Stressed Students Residence RAs close to students free Athletic Complex career Counselling Services lots of equipment academic personal 5

6 Body Paragraphs 2 and 3 Purpose In this assignment, you will practice proper paragraph and topic sentence writing. You will also focus on providing strong support and clear reasons in your writing. Instructions Continue writing about the topic you wrote about in body paragraph 1. Using your Mind Mapping Activity, write 2 paragraphs that could be used in the body of an essay on this topic. Try to ensure that the scope of your paragraph is not too large nor too narrow for one paragraph. Further, be sure that you provide clear reasons to support your topic sentences. Topics 1. Describe a dish or meal that has importance in your culture. 2. Describe a task that you particularly dislike. 3. Discuss your favourite musician/group and why you like that particular musician/group. 4. Discuss the qualities of a best friend. 5. Explain what makes someone a safe driver. Example Body Paragraphs The following are example body paragraphs. Note that the topic sentences are underlined, and that the paragraphs are each unified by a separate main idea: Counselling Services and The Athletic Complex. 6

7 Secondly, students who need assistance in the many other areas of their lives can make use of Counselling Services. The Counselling Services office can be found in D128. The office has private rooms where students can speak confidentially with trained counsellors. Counselling Services provides many different types of help. For example, academic counselling is available for students who are finding learning at college a challenge. Students can also make an appointment for a one-on-one meeting with a counsellor, attend study skills workshops, or pick up learning and stress-management handouts. Counselling Services staff can also can connect students with peer tutors who are trained to tutor in all academic subjects. There are two other types of counselling offered as well. Career counselling is available so students can choose the right career. Personal counselling is available to help with personal problems and is fully confidential. Counselling Services has a small space but many trained professionals who can help with just about any problem that Humber students might face. Finally, the Athletic Complex offers access to sports and recreational activities to students who want to work off some of their stress in healthy ways. The Athletic Complex is located in the A wing, past the well-known student pub, CAPS. Students need a valid student card get in, but then they can use athletic facilities free of charge. For many students, the main attraction in the Athletic Complex is the triple gym, where the Humber Hawks play their basketball games, but all students can use the gym for their own basketball, volleyball, or badminton games too. There is also a squash court available on the main floor. Upstairs there are additional facilities, such as a fitness studio where aerobics classes are held and the weight room that overlooks the gym. The weight room has treadmills, bikes, steppers, weight machines, and free weights. Humber s Athletic Complex is outstanding, because it has all the things an expensive fitness club has, but without the high price. Revision Revision means to re-see a piece of writing. By looking at your writing again, you can get a better sense of what works and what doesn t. The most important thing to keep in mind is that there is a huge difference between revising and editing. Editing means looking at grammar, punctuation, and typing errors. The changes made are superficial and do not change the overall meaning. Revision, on the other hand, is about making larger changes to your writing. It can mean adding in sections, taking out sections, reordering points, focusing more narrowly on your topic, and many other larger changes. Editing and revision are both important, but they are not the same thing. 7

8 Tips for Revision: 1. Get some distance from your writing. It helps if you can write one day and revise at another time. In a timed writing activity like the English Placement Test, if a section is giving you problems move on to another task and return to it later. 2. Reread your assignment sheet to see if you stayed on task. Did you follow the instructions, or did you get sidetracked? 3. Read your writing out loud. You will be able to hear some of your mistakes more easily this way both small grammatical errors and larger mechanical problems. In a test like the EPT, try to sound out the words in your head and read slowly. 4. Take a part out if it s not working. Sometimes it s easier to start from scratch. Revision Activity: WIRMS Purpose This activity will help you rework sentences that aren t working. Instructions Identity 2 or 3 sentences from your first body paragraph that are giving you trouble. Next, turn the page over and write the following on the back: What I Really Mean to Say Is Now try and reword the sentence. Try not to look at your original, or else you ll get caught in the same faulty wording or structure that you were caught in before. Try and find completely new words to say what you want to say. 8

9 Example WIRMS Activity The following are examples of sentences that have been revised by using the WIRMS activity. Sentence: In college a demanding academic life can really mess students up. (this sentence is a bit too informal) WIRMS: When students go to college, they can be overwhelmed by the demands of their new academic life. Sentence: Students are welcomed at The Writing Centre they get help and fix their writing problems. (run on, awkwardly worded) WIRMS: The Writing Centre at Humber is a welcoming place where all students can get one-on-one help with their writing problems. Revision Considering your WIRMS activity and the feedback you ve received from the Writing Centre, revise your 1 st body paragraph. 9