Handouts 1. Questions to Ask Yourself 2. Where to Find Help. NOTE: You may opt to use the participant guide rather than individual handouts

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1 Lesson Plan Class Description In this class, we will discuss what anger is and how we can recognize it. We will also discuss ways to manage anger and when we should seek additional help. Target Audience: Youth ages Time Required 45 minutes Materials Needed LCD Projection System & Computer with speakers Easel with Chart Paper Wide Tip Markers Masking Tape Class Materials: slides, handouts, lesson plan Anger Quotes on paper and hung around the room Student Objectives Define anger. Identify common signs of anger. List ways to manage anger. Identify when we need additional help. Handouts 1. Questions to Ask Yourself 2. Where to Find Help NOTE: You may opt to use the participant guide rather than individual handouts Practical Exercises 1. A Plan for Dealing With Anger Power Point Slides 1. I Feel Angry 7. When You re Angry 2. Objectives 8. Managing Our Anger 3. What is Anger 9. When to Seek Help 4. Symptoms of Anger 10. Objectives July 2013 LP 1

2 5. Negative Expressions of Anger 11. Questions 6. Anger can be a positive thing?! For additional information: (resources used) online dictionary Military One Source Helping Your Teenager Manage Feelings of Anger, Mary Beth Kotz, Ph.D. Anger in Our Teens and in Ourselves, Linda Helping Children Cope During Deployment, Uniformed Services University of the Health Services. July 2013 LP 2

3 Idea: Include the following quotes about anger. Write them on chart paper with colorful markers and post around the classroom. Get mad, then, get over it. - Colin Powell. For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. - Ralph Waldo Emerson How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. - Marcus Aurelius People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. -- Will Rogers Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. -- Buddha. Slide 1- I Feel Angry Instructor Note: Instructor should greet audience and provide a brief introduction. Then begin by reading or telling the following story. Attention: It was just another day for Robert. He aced his biology test, turned in his term paper, talked to the cute red-head at lunch and now the school day was over. Tonight, he and his dad were going to the field for summer baseball tryouts. Life was good! And then he got home. Why was his dad s truck in the driveway already? As Robert walked into the kitchen, he noticed his mom sitting at the table with a confused look on her face. His dad was standing near the refrigerator, but he didn t look hungry. What could be happening? Robert, I have some news, his dad said. My unit was called to active duty. We leave in 2 weeks. I m sorry, son, but I have to get back to help make some calls. Mom will take you to tryouts tonight. Good luck. And just like that, Robert s life was changed! How do you think Robert is feeling? Instructor Note: Chart responses from the group. scared, and confused. Examples: sad, angry, Robert is feeling angry. As he heads to his room with his pulse racing, tears begin to stream down his face. I hate baseball anyway! he says as he slams his bedroom door. July 2013 LP 3

4 Who do you think Robert is angry with; the government, his dad, himself? Today we are going to talk about anger in this class. Let s take a look at what we are going to discuss. Slide 2 Objectives Over the next few minutes, we will: Define anger. Identify common signs of anger. List ways to manage anger. Identify when we need additional help. We will begin by looking at the definition of anger. Slide 3 What is Anger? Question and answer: When I say the word anger, what comes to mind? Instructor Note: Chart responses to refer to as you review the dictionary definition. If we look at the student dictionary at we get the following definition of anger: a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of opposition toward someone or something. The very first thing we find in this definition is anger is a strong feeling. Anger is a feeling, it is not a behavior. What s the difference? A feeling is a state of mind; a behavior is how we conduct ourselves. So why is that important, you ask? As we discuss anger today, remember this, we can t stop how we feel, but we can change how we behave. Let me repeat that. We can t stop how we feel, but we can change how we behave. The second thing we learn from the definition is this feeling is usually of opposition toward someone or something. This means the strong feeling of displeasure occurs when we don t agree with someone or something. Question and answer: Based on this definition, if our loved one is being deployed, why might we feel angry? Instructor Note: Chart responses. Some examples might be: missing our service member, they won t be there for graduation or athletic events or other milestones in our lives, fear that they will get hurt or die. July 2013 LP 4

5 Also ask for other events that could cause feelings of anger. Other events could include getting a poor grade on a paper we thought was perfect, not being selected for a sports team, losing a game. Transition: As we think about deployment and these responses, think about how you are feeling physically right now. Keeping that in mind, let s look at some of the symptoms or signs when someone is angry. Slide 4 Symptoms of Anger Questions and answer: Think back to the last time you were angry about something or how you were feeling when we talked about deployment. Is it possible to feel/experience anger both physically and emotionally? Would anyone like to share a physical reaction to your anger? Instructor Note: Chart answers (i.e. tense muscles, racing heart, quick breathing) When we are feeling anger emotionally, our bodies react physically as well. Anger often brings on the following symptoms, many of which you ve already mentioned. An angry person will display: Muscle tension. A knot in your stomach. Increased heart rate. Quick breathing. Flushed face. Transition: You can usually tell by looking at someone that they are feeling anger, right? You can see these physical signs of anger. Let s take a look at some of your peers acting out how they look when they are angry. Wow, anger can look scary. But how do we respond to our anger? Slide 5 Negative Expressions of Anger When we are angry, we can express ourselves in two ways; negative or positive. Some of the negative expressions of anger include: Physical and verbal violence. Malicious gossip. Sarcasm. Antisocial behavior. Withdrawal. Substance Abuse (tobacco, alcohol, drugs). July 2013 LP 5

6 Questions and answer: Why do we want to avoid these negative expressions? Can anger due to a deployment bring out these negative expressions? Are children and youth the only ones who have these negative expressions? Instructor Note: Discuss why it is important to avoid negative expressions. Transition: Now let s discuss the positives of anger. Slide 6 Anger can be a positive thing?! When we are feeling angry, it is easy to fall into the negative expressions. But, if we allow ourselves, we can gain the following from our anger. Motivation to resolve problems. A reason to face issues. Drive to deal with reasons for anger. Motivation: If we use our anger to motivate us, we can find resolution for our problems. Rather than withdrawing, we can face our issues, talk about them, and, finally, try to deal with the reasons for our anger. By doing these things, you will avoid falling into the trap of negativism. Now watch what our friends do to avoid this trap. Transition: Another way to face your anger is to discover WHY you re angry. Slide 7 When You re Angry Handout 1: Questions to Ask Yourself Pass out this handout as you review the following information. participants to keep this handy to refer to when feeling angry. Remind When you begin feeling the physical effects of anger, ask yourself the following questions: Who am I angry with? Where is this anger coming from? Are my expectations unreasonable? Am I communicating effectively? Do my emotions control me or do I control my emotions? By finding the answers to these questions, you will be ready to face your anger and resolve the issues surrounding it. July 2013 LP 6

7 Transition: But what can you do when you realize you are feeling angry and showing symptoms of anger? Here are a few suggestions. Instructor Note: As you review the first three ideas below, have the participants actually do them. For the remaining suggestions, give them examples of how to do these. Slide 8 Managing Anger Take a deep breath (or try taking several deep breaths). Count to 10 (or maybe 20 or even higher). Roll your shoulder and neck muscles. Take a break. Apologize. Talk to a reliable friend. Talk with an adult (parent, teacher, coach). What do you do to overcome your anger? Instructor Note: Chart additional suggestions from the group. Ask them to write these answers on the bottom or back of their handout. We are now going to take some time to develop a plan to help us deal with our anger. Let s divide into groups of 4 or 5. Practical Exercise: A Plan for Dealing with Anger Each group will receive a scenario. Read it and then have someone record: 1. How it makes you feel? 2. How you react to this situation? 3. What you can do to manage your anger? 4. What resolution you come to in dealing with your anger? Each group will then act out your scenario and then one member of your team will give us the answers to the four questions. You ll have 15 minutes to prepare. Are there any questions? Interim summary: You all did a great job. What did we learn from this exercise? Can you see how you can take the negativity of a situation and make something positive from it? Do you think there will be times that this won t work for you? July 2013 LP 7

8 Transition: It is possible to get so angry you can t shake it. But there is something you can do in that situation, too. That is the time to seek help. Slide 9 When to Seek Help Sometimes we get so angry we begin feeling self-destructive or want to hurt someone else. If you are unable to control your anger by trying the things we just talked about, then perhaps you need to talk to someone with more advanced training. See your school counselor or ask your parent to call Military One Source if you are: Constantly angry. Getting into fights. Destroying property. Bullying others. Causing physical harm to yourself or others. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of maturity. There is help available to you or someone you know who is angry. Handout 2: Where to Find Help Pass out this handout and review these excellent sources of assistance for military youth. Remind the youth to keep this page where they can easily find it. Don t be afraid to reach out for assistance. Do you have any questions or comments on how or where to seek help? Slide 10 Review We should now be able to: Define anger. Identify common signs of anger. List ways to manage anger. Identify when we need additional help. What questions do you have about what we have covered? Instructor Note: Make sure you allow time to answer questions prior to closing. If someone needs additional time, offer to speak to them afterward. Slide 11 I Feel Angry Remember Robert from the beginning of our class? Let me tell you what he did with his feelings of anger. July 2013 LP 8

9 After spending some time in his room throwing some dirty socks at the wall, Robert began thinking of how his dad and mom must be feeling. This deployment thing wasn t really fair to them either. Maybe I can dedicate my baseball season to my dad this year and mom can video tape all my games. Won t dad have a blast watching them with all his buddies? He just loves a reason to brag about me. Robert was still feeling some anger and that s ok. But he also started thinking of how he could make things work for everyone. It wasn t the best ending to a good day, but Robert knew he would survive! July 2013 LP 9

10 Practical Exercise: A Plan for Dealing with Anger Anger Scenarios Group 1 You are walking home after school with some friends talking about how much you miss your deployed father. Suddenly, a kid from your neighborhood yells, Your dad is a loser! I can t believe he s in the National Guard! Group 2 Your history teacher begins class by talking about current events. You ve never mentioned that your mom is deployed. The teacher starts talking politics and saying negative things about the National Guardsmen who are serving in Iraq. Some of your classmates know your situation, others don t. Group 3 It s been a long day. You had to walk your little brother to school, take three tests today, go to basketball practice, work 4 hours at the corner store and you just walked in the door. Your grandmother looks at you and starts complaining how you never help around the house, the garbage needs taken out, and how can she do everything while your parents are deployed? Group days have gone by and next week your mom will be home from deployment! You and your friends have gathered to make some cool signs for when the bus pulls up at the unit. Just then the phone rings and your dad answers it. You can tell by the look on his face the news isn t good. That was your mom. She s been extended for 60 days. July 2013 LP 10

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