1 PART-I Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge?? Husband: Offcourse "SEX"!!! Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes?? Santa comes bleeding Banta: What happened? Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands? Santa: I had Banta: What? Santa: His wife's boobs! Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn't taste sweet? Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati ko kya karna chahiye? Zyada kuchh nahi do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye! A Newly Married Couple Seeking Divorce Judge asks Lady "Why do you want divorce?" Lady: Despite Knowin That I'm Vegetarian, He Forces Ne To Put Meat In My Mouth!!" ;-> What do woman usually say after Sex? I Luv U? Wrong! That was great? Wrong again! I Luv it? Aray Nahi Yaar Sahi Jawab Hai: Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai ;->
2 What is the height of poverty? When a girl is ready to get fucked for only 2 rupees and you have only 1 rupee!!!! ;-> Beta: Mummy Tum Roz Papa Pe Eharh ke Jump Kyu Marti Ho? Mummy: PAPA Ke Pait Ki Hawa Nikalne K Liye Beta: Kia Faida Baraber Wali Aunty Muun Se Phir Hawa Bhar Deti Hai ;-> Sardar: Gand Main Dard Hay DR: Main Hath Dalta Hon Batana Kaha Hain Sardar: Andar Aur Andar, Aor Andar, Han Yahain Dr : Dhosri K Tera To Gala Kharab Hai If you want Suck the nipple of girl,she always say why yours mother and sister r not living in ur home u say yes but there is not child Life Without fun, Sky Without Sun, Ten without One, warrior Without Gun, Batsman without run, Is all Like a Man without LuN Advantages of breast milk? A) No need to boil B) Cat can't steal it C) Available in attractive containers D) Popular in all age groups E) Ek Pee Ek Free
3 Gabar se ronay ki wajah poochiusne kaha MAA ne danta hai MAA se poocha tau kehti hai MUJH SE POOCTA HAI KITNAY AADMI THAY A 50 years old man during fucking an old woman of 90,starts suckung her breasts,after 10 min the man got died,police came and make postmartum report,in report it was written that the milk was xpired A bio teacher was telling her students that for the best penetrations 6-7" PENIS IS bestone OF THE GIRL ASKD HER tht wht abt 9" teacher said i m telling abt NECESSITY not LUXURY Man marries a deaf galhe mimes,lets make a code! if i want sex i'll squeeze ur breast,in responce u can pull my penis once for YES and 50 times for NO ;) ladki boli 200 loongi,hil HIL k maza du giladka bola 100 doonga HIL mein khud lu galadki boli to phir ye 100 bhi bacha le aur hath se HILA le A LADY GOES TO POLICE STATION AND LODGES A COMPLAINT:INSPECTOR SAHAB:AIK NAY MAIRAY BOOBS DABAYEAIK NAY MAIRI GAAND MARIAIK NAY MUJHAY CHODAAIK NAY MUJHAY CHOOMA INSPECTOR:BAS KARFIR LIKHWA RAHI HAI YA LUN KHARA KAR RAHI HAI! A Girl visit for a urione test By mistake her reports change Dr says her U r pregnent Girls reply Oh God Ab tu ungali ka b Barosa nahi raha what PEPSI stands for P=please E=enter P=penis S=slowly I=inside
4 hahahah yeh dil magay more Women top 7 lies: 1: I love you 2: I am virgin 3: I hate sex 4: You are the first one touching me 5: Oh its too big? How wld it go inside? 6: I hate sucking 7: Alright - but u wld do it only once! girls returning 4m movie, 1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya 2nd: Per tu to bra mein rakhti thi 1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka, Yeh waqt hai baccha hone ka Uss waqt kyon nahin royee thi, Jab chipak ke soyee thi Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo, Tab to kehti thi aur karo, aur karo Arz kiya hai College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho! Hum kya mar gaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho!! boy caught in RAPE case lady lawyer holds his penis & says; kya yeh bacha rape kar saktah hai? Boy says silently: hila mat werna case haar jai GEE Janeman mujhe mar dalo zara meri pant ki jaab mai haath dalo lamba lage to kaat dalo mota laaga tu chaat daloo acha laga tu apni gand main dalo A man phoned and asked,'221714'? Lady: Pls urdu mein bolo, Man: Do- Do-Ek-Sath-Choda? Lady: "Nahein sir, ghalt kaha! yeah Teen-Teen-Ek- Sath-Choda hai"
5 Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged Lady to man: why you always keep condom & taveez together in your wallet Man: bhoot aur choot ka koi pata nahi kabhi bhi mil jaye larka;dil karta hai tere zulfon mein kho jaoonteri bahon mein jhull jaoonnteri anchal mein soo jaoonnn larki;tou neechey kia muhaley wale ghuseinge PART-III What Iz Da Diff B/w "Hard Luck" N "Bad Luck"? Ans=>Ek Larke Ne Akhbar Main ParhaAaj Shaam 6 Baje Aasman Se 1000 Larkian Gand K Bal Zameen Per Girain GiWoh 5 Baje Se Paint Utar Ker Lund Khara Ker K Lait Jata Hai6 Baje Larkian Girti HainMagar Koi Bhi Us K Lund Per Nahin AatiYeh Hoti Hai "HARD LUCK" Next Day Akhbar Main Aata HaiAaj Ek Lund Aasman Se Gire GaWoh Larka Is Per Dhiyan Nahin DetaAur Nanga Gand Aasman Ki Taraf Ker K Sojata HaiEk Lund Aasman Se Girta Hai Aur Seedha Uski Gand Main Ghus Jata HaiYeh Hoti Hai "BAD LUCK" -- 1st Boy:Yaar Meri Gun Ka Scope Check Ker? 2nd Boy:Waah Yaar Is Se To Bohat Door Ka Nishana Liye Jasakta HaiAre Mujhe Tera Bedroom Bhi Nazar Araha HaiYeh Kia Teri Biwi Ek Pathan K SaathAur Donon Nange 1st Boy:Acha Ek Kum Kaam KerMeri Biwi Ki Choot Per Aur Us Pathan K Lund Per Goli Maar 2nd Boy:Fikar Na KerDonon Ek Hi Nishne Per Hain Man: Yar tum ney apni biwi ko talaak kiu di? Sardar: Yar woh bri character less thishaadi mujh se ki aur bacha bhagwan se mangti thi
6 "ass" behind another "ass" and then "i" and then the whole "nation"sardar ji teaching his son the spelling of "assassination" / 3 frnds talking abt AIDS 1st:Kabhi condom k bina krta nahin 2nd:Mei to ungli me b condom pehanta hoon Sikh:Mei to bilkul risk ne leta,parosi se krwata hun A sardar went to school for getting the report card of his son Sardar: Madam kab dengi aap Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo Aik baap apnay betay ki shaadi karta hai!!! suhaagraat ko baap betay kay kamray kay keyhole say jhaankta hai to beta ful daba dab laga hota hai!!! baap ko bhi khuwaari charhti hai jaata hai aur apni begham pay shuru hojaata hai!! beta faarigh hota hai aur jaakay baap kay kamray main jhaankta hai to baa laga hota hai beta kehta hai laanat hai baap burha hogaya aur abhi tak laga hua hai!!! jaata hai aur phir shuru ho jaata hai!!!! baap aata hai dekhta hai aur jaakay ghussay main phir shuru hojaata hai!!!! teesri baar jab baap aata hai to aawaaz lagata hai betaaaaaaaaaa!! beta :- jeeeee abbbbbbba baap :- beta kyun mazaak mazaak main apni maan chudwa raha hai!!!! aik dehaati( Villager ) SU SU ker raha hota hai aik English man us se poochta hai "yahan police nahin pakerti? he replied "nahin sahib yahan APNA khud hi pakerna perta hai!" Aik sardar jee apnay office say ghar aatay hain kisi kaam say jab nikaltay hain to boss office main naheen hotay!!!! ghar pohanchay to dekhtay hain kay unki biwi unkay boss kay saath bed pay sex kar rahi hai!!!! bhaagay aur waapis office!!! office pohanchay apnay aik couligue say kehtay hain kay yaar abhi ghar gaya tha meri biwi boss kay saath bed pay sex kar rahi thi!!!!!!!!! couligue poochta hai kay phir tunay kya kiya!!!??? sardar jee :- yaar acha hua main wahan say bhaag gaya warna pakra jaata nahahaha GHABER:- YEAH HAT MUJHE DEDE THAKUR THAKUR LE LE MAGR SHUBHA 8 BAJE MARI GAND DHONE AJAANA
7 1 lerka 1 lerki ke pass jata haai or phooochta hai ke main 1 sawaaaaaaaal karoon bura to nahi lage ga lerki bolti hai nahi lage ga phooocho lerka bolta hai ke tumhari tango ke beeeech main kiya hai lerki boti hai lakeeeeeeeer pher lerki yeah hi sawaaaaaaal kerti ai to lerka khoooob soooooochta hai pher bolta hai lakeeeeeeeeeer ka fakeeeeeeeeer penis:judg sab jab main payda howa to mayra gala kat diya gaya :jab bara howa to haton say mayra gala dabaya gaya :Shadi kay baad mujy kali surang main dala gaya :Akhir mayra kusor kya tha Judge :Baheanchod tu akarta ku tha :)) 3 Facts of Life: Ghareeb aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai One boy to girl- kitni kaali ho tum girl-isme tumhare baap ka kya gaya? Boy-agar mere baap ka gaya hota to tum itni kaali na hoti A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER in LIfE 01 Saanp aur chut, jahaan bhi milen maar do 02 Zindagi aur jhaant uljhe hue hain, use suljhane ki koshish mat karna 03 Samay aur chutiya, sab ka kat-ta hain 04 Acchhi piyo kharab piyo, jab bhi piyo sharaab piyo 05 Paani aur lund, apna rasta khud doondh lete hain 06 Biwi aur gaadi, doosre ko doge to chud kar hi wapas ayengi 07 Doodh aur gaand, jab phatthe hain to aawaaz nahi aati 08 Rocket aur tharak, aadmi ko kahin bhi le jaa sakte hain 09 Choochiyaan aur jazbaat, jitne dabaao utne hee ubhar aate hain 10 Jhaante aur koylaa, hameshaa sulagte rahte hain 11 tattey jitnaa bhi uchhal lein, rahenge hameshaa laude ke neeche hee! 12 Ladki kitni bhi lambi ho, mootegi to baith ke hi 13 Land ko kitna bhi jhadkao, aakhri boond undi mein hi girti hai 14 Chut chahe jitni bhi chaudi ho jaye, marni Lund se hi padegi 15 Choochiyaan aur khaini, jitna ragdoge utna hi mazaa ayega 16 Chut aur Daaru, kabhi bhee joothi nahi hoti hain 17 Kutte ko mootne ke liye aur Ladki ko chudne ke liye, taang uthani hi padti hai 18 Chut aur Bhut, Kismat walon ko hi dikhte hain 19 Lohe par Hathoda aur Chut par Loda, tabhi maro jab garam ho 20 Ladki aur Audio cassete, dono side se bajaana chahiye
8 21 Exam ki taiyari mein ek ghanta aur daaru mein ek peg, hamesha kum padte hain 22 Chut saal mein do hi baar maro, ek jis din baarish ho aur doosre us din jab baarish na ho 23 Lund aur Ghamand, dono ko kaabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai 24 Baagi aur mamme, jahan bhee mile, masal dene chahiye 25 Samay se pahle aur Kismat se achhi chut, na kisi ko mili hai, na milegi 26 Jab kismat mein likhe ho lode, to kahan se milenge pakode 27 adami aur chuha hamesha chhed ki taraf bhagte hain 28 baasi choot aur purana akhbaar, jahan dikhe faad do! 29 hari jhandi aur randi ko dekte hi bhaag lo! 30 musibat aur lund kabhi bhi khade ho sakte hain! 31 Job aur gaand sabki kabhi na kabhi zaroor lagti hai 32 Zaban aur lund dono me haddi nahi hoti 33 Nayee chute ka maza nau din tak hota hai! 34 Admi kitna bhi gora ho, lund baki badan se kala hi hota hai! 35 Dusre ki naukari aur dusre ki chokri hardam acchhi hi lagti hai! 36 Stree se aayu(age), purush se aay (income)aur sardar se kabhi time nahi puchhana chahiye! 37 Bhajan, Bhojan aur Chodan hamesha ekaant main karne chahiye 38 Chut, Boot aur Rangroop ko jitna ragdoge utni hi chamak aayegi 39 Chut, Chuchi aur Chilam jitni bhi pio kabhi Jhuthi nahin hoti 40 Maango usi se jo de khushi se aur kahe na kisi se 41 Jab bhi mile akeli, wo nahin to uski saheli,saheli nahin to apni Hatheli but have sex daily 42 Kismat aur gaand kabhi bhi aur kahin bhi mar sakti hai 43 Ladai aur chudai mein sab jaayaz hai On their first night: Husband: Is it really your first night? Wife: No NoActually it is first time at night What's the similarity between drinking a coke & sucking a tall woman's tits? Piyo sar utha ke Boy asks a girl: How much calcium is there in woman's Breasts? Girl: Woman's Breasts have enough calcium to help a Man's boneless thing standup! Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye: Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho, and Raat bhar sone na de Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey? Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moujan hi moujan Beauty is to see & to touch, Flowers are to smell & to pluck, Nipples are to play & to suck, Women are to Love & to Fuck, All these are free but depends on Luck
9 What is the similarity between a bus conductor and a gay? Both shout: Peechey se Aaa Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant Confused Banta: How the hell? Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms Santa standing in balcony without shirt Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni bharjai di dekh Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya Santa: Tumne use roka nahi? Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga Santa ki saali: Jijaji 500 Rs de do agley haftey dungi Santa: Tu 1500 lele, magar abhi de Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai? Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom chadhaana Man was smoking in a bus Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta? Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon? What's the difference between Patiala Peg and Patiala Salwar? Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai PART-IV Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great Jeeto: If it looks like you, it would be a miracle During sex Jeeto asks repeatedly: Do you love me, do you really love me? Irritated Santa: What the hell do you think, I am doing pushups? In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao Santa: you naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao Mother: Do you know the meaning of Mangalsutra? Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye Wife n Mobile: 1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai 2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai 3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai
10 Sardar shouted angerily to his wife: main teri GaNd mar dungasardar wise : kabi tu aage ki soch liya karue Sardar ki gand phat gai Mochi ne see kar 25000/- ka bill de diya Sardar ne 50000/- de diye MOCHI:itne zyada kyoo de rahe ho?? Sardar: tera bill dekh kar phir phat gai ha Girl to her mother: Mama, main kaise paida hui thi? Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay? Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain 1 punjabi 1 Sindhi or 1 PATHAN Dozakh main thaeor teenon ke khawahish the k woh zameen par ayeen Akhir kaar un ko zameen par jany ke ijazat mil gaye but 1 shart par k woh zameen par ja kar koi khawish nahe karain ge agar unhon ne koi khawahish ke to Wapas DOZAKH main baij diye jayen ge teenon punjabi pathan oor sindhi ja rahy thae k Sindhi ko book lag gaye oor uss ne Khana khany ke shadeed khawhish ke jaisy he uss ne khawhish ke Sath main he Sindhi gayeeb ho giya ab punjabi oor pathan reh gaye thae Ab punjabi ne Zameen Par se Khuch uthany k liye neechy huwa(rakoo WALY HALAT MAIN) to jab woh seeda huwa to Peechy Se pathan Gayeeb ho chuka tha =)) Moral Pathan Ke Khawahish Bury Balaa hai Pregnant gal se Doc ne pucha: Yeh kab hua? Gal: Jab Mom and Dad film dekhne gaye the, mera friend ghar aaya tha Doc: Tum saath kyon nahin gayi? Gal: Adult movie thi Bihari Babu: Arre O doctarwa, kaisa nasbandi kiye ho humaar? Biwi phir se maan banne wali hai Doc: Hum nasbandi tohar kiya hoon pura Bihar ka nahin Lady: I'm warning you, my husband is coming back in half an hour Man: But I'm not doing anything Lady: That's why I'm warning you Hurry up Which is the smallest hotel in the world? VAGINA INN It can accomodate only one standing guest with his luggage hanging outside One agent was tensed Dealer: Kya hua? Agent: Main 6 mahine se tour pe hoon, aur meri biwi pregnant ho gai Dealer: Ab pata chala bina order ke maal aaye to kaisa lagta hai eik bhoot ne bhavan ki khidmat ke bhagvan ne khush hoker usse kaha maang tujhe kia maangna hai bhoot nay bhagvan se kaha mujhey khoobsurat lerkion ka khoon chosna hai bhagvan ne ussey 'Always ultra' bana deya
11 11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 banana fruit seller : i will not sell less than 12 bananas 1 girl said : "le le yaar, 1 kha lenge" worried mother give her daughter a pack of condoms b4 a hot dategirl hugs and laughs at her mother and says-time changed mom, i am dating my girl friend Husband: Aj tak tum kitnay logoon k sath soii ho? Wife: Such boloon to sirf aap kay sath he soii hoon,baki sabhi k sath sari sri raat jagi hoon MAN: KISS KAROON? GIRL: LIPSTICK KHARAB HO GE MAN: BOOBS DABAOON GIRL: SHIRT KHARAB HO GI MAN: FUCK!!! GIRL: PERIOD MAI HOON SOOPER Biscuits Mama to Daughter: Beta kaisi ho? Daughter: sooper mama Mama:Chest kaisi hai? Daughter: sooper mama Mama: or GAND Daughter:Woh to hay hi SOOPER Mama: Beta pata hai hum nay tumharee mangni PATHAN say tay kar dee hai Daughter: sooper mama, hoonkya??? pathan hai? Please aisa na karain,wo sirf gand maray gaaap nani kaisay bano ge Degrees Of Girls Ba = Beautiful Angel Be = Beautiful Eyes Bsc = Beautiful Structure Bl = Beautiful Lips Mba = Married But Available A lady gives a 5ooRs note to a shopkeeper shopkeeper said> Did u placed it in ur bra? Lady said> How do u know? shopkeeper> bcoz Mahatama gandhi's mouth is open Chacha, chachi dono lafange Bistar pe lete dono nange Chachi ko lagi thund Chache ne nikaala lund Chachi boli "Yeh kya"? Chacha bola "Machine gun"
12 Aik bus mai boys ki team or gulz ki team tyar hueen antakshari khelne k leayay Girls: Hum tumhain hara kar dikhayenge Boys: Hum har gayay chalo ab dikhao :) Girl: Mummy, jab mein susu karti hoon tou seeti ki awaaz aati hai Aap ki aati hai? Mummy : Beta pehle meri bhi aati thi, abh tumhare papa ne baja baja ke kharab kardi hai aik dafa aik sperm ne dosry se kaha me bara ho ker dockter bano ga dosry ne kaha me pilot bano ga suddenly man musterbateted bohot faal in flushdono ne awaz lagai bhenchod ke buchay sary career ki maa chode heheheheheh A crow shits on a sardarsardarni hands over tissue to sardarji sardar says: Ab kis ki gand poonchu, kawwa to udd gya Man 2 wife : business is going down,if u learn to cook,we can remove bavarchi wife : asshole,if u learn to fuck, we can remove driver,gardner & watchman!!!!!!!! Panties:- Q:What is the difference between panties of 1970 and panties of 2004? A:In 1970 you have to pull down the pantie to see the buttocks In 2004 you have to seperate the buttocks to see the pantie An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard She said, ''Daddy, what is sex?'' The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'' When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open Her father said, ''Why did you ask that question, honey?'' She replied, ''Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex" Sardar on bike and a Pathan on a truck Both were waiting at a traffic signal Pathan trying to make fun of sardar" are aye sardar jab head mein khujli hoti hai to helmet utar ke kyun nahi karte" sardar replies "sade pathan, jab leg pe khujli hoti hai, to pant utar ke kyun nahi karta" Signal turn on and sardar goes on on another road Pathan says to
13 Sardar " are aye sardar, jab ek helmet(pagdi) pehna hai to doosra kyun pehna hai" sardar says "oye pathan, jab underwear pehna hai to pant kyun pehna hai To Avoid Doctor's Fees,,, Sardar Jee After Eye Operation Doctor: Dheerey dheery apni aankhain kholiye sardar : mujeh dikhaayi nahi dey raha doctor: asked a nurse to undress in front of him sardar : mujhe kuch dikhaayi nahi dey raha docotor : ask nurse to open her legs in front of him sardar: mujhe kuch dikhaayi nahi dey raha docotor : aby jhootay madarchod agar tujhe nazar nahi aaraha to tera lund kese khara ho gayaaa!! Sardarji is irritated of jokes made on himso He goes 2 his wife and says"tell me 1 joke in which i am not involved"wife said:-i"m Pregnant!? Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations At the time of packing Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai 1:Height of Honesty: A pregnant woman asking the bus conductor for >>one & a half ticket >> >> >>2:Height of patience: A female lying naked under a banana tree and >>hoping for banana to fall in the right place >> >> >>3:Height of Confusion: Two earthworms making love in a bowl of >>noodles >> >> >>4:Height of revenge: A bastard roaming in a condom factory with a >>needle in his hand >> >> >>5:Height of pain: A monkey sliding down a knife's edge using balls >>as his brakes >> >> >>6:Height of Foolishness: A guy peeping thru' the keyhole of a glass >>door >> >> >>7:Height of Noise: Two skeletons fucking on a tin roof >> >>
14 >>8:Height of Innocence: A teenager girl applying Clearasil to her >>nipples thinking them as pimples >> >> >>9:Height of Itch: A fat man hanging (upside down) from a roof >>trying to scratch his balls >> >> >>10:Height of laziness: A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an >>earthquake to do the rest >> >> >>11:Height of Unemployment: Cobwebs in prostitute's cunt >> >> >>12:Height of Competition: A guy peeing beside a waterfall >> >> >>13:Height of Bravery: A naked man bending over to pick up a >>quarter on an island of gays >> >> >>14:Height of Sophistication: Sucking nipples with a straw >> >> >>15:Height of Technology: Condom with zip >> >> >>16:Height of Darkness: A negro searching for his penis in a dark >>room >> >> >>17:Height of fashion: A female applying Lipstick to her vertical >>Lips Santa and banta were caught raping a girl They were called for identification parade When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee" KBCHOST!AMITAB BACHAN to sardar g:wat iz the color of your wife's bra A: White B: Black C: Red D: Pink sardar G: can i call a friend? NA HUM AIDS SE DARTE HAYN AUR NA HUM CONDOM SE KARTE HAYN HUM TU DUNIYA SE DARTE HAYN IS LIE HATHOON SE KARTE HAYN HAPPY MUTH DAY :) Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day Don't try this on everybody U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)
15 Q:Who's senior: Penis or Vagina? A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour ek patient doctor kay pass jaata hai aur kehta hai doctor sahib mera ek tatta neela (blue)ho gaya hai doctor kehta hai:yeh to bara masla hai ap ko operation karwa kar yeh tatta nikalwaana parey ga patient kehta hai k "NHI" doctor samjhaata hai k tumhain apni zindagi pyari hai ya apna tatta patient kehta hai zindagi doctor us ka operation kar deta hai aur tatta nikaal deta hai 3 din k baad patient dobaara aata hai aur kehta hai "doctor sahib mera doosra tatta bhi neela ho gaya hai" doctor kehta hai oh ooooap ka phir se operation karna parey ga aur doosra tatta bhi nikaalna parey ga patient kehta hai "nhi" doctor us ko razi kar leta hai aur doosra tatta bhi nikaal deta hai 3 din k baad woh phir aata hai aur kehta hai k doctor sahib mera lund bhi neela ho gaya hai doctor kehta hai k yeh bemaari to bari khatarnaak lagti hai ap ka lund bhi kaatna parey ga patient kehta hai "MUJHE PEHLE BHI APNI WIFE SE MAAR PARI HAI AB TO WOH MUJHE GHR SE NIKAAL DE GI" doctor kehta hai k ap pareshaan mat ho main us ki tarah ka doosra laga doo gaaur us ka operation kar deta hai 3 din k baad woh banda phir aata hai aur kehta hai k doctor sahib ap ne jo new lund lagaya tha woh bhi neela ho gaya doctor ko gussa aata hai aur kehta hai k apni pent utaroo phir doctor us ki under wear ko haat lagata hai aur guzzay se kehta hai "BHARWAYGANDOO DALLAY TERA TO UNDER WEAR COLOR CHOOR RAHA HAI" Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara, Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah raat ki tanhayaan tail ki chiknayan uthao botal tail ki musaratoon k khel ki na koi munda na koi run apna hath aur apna hi lun YEHI TO HE WO APNA PUN A Very sexy and attractive Female Employee meets her boss and says:: "Sir!will u remove something from my Breast?
16 BOSS:"Wow wats that?" "Your eyes Sir!!!!" Fuck is good Fuck is funny Lots of ppl Fuck 4 money If u think that fuck is funny FUCK urself and save ur money Wife : Thora aram se karo EXPRESS chala rahy ho Husband: to kya mallgari Chalaon? Itnay main munna bed se gir jata hai and bolta ha jo marzi chalao par musafer to na girao Girl : Mom, Jony asked me to climb MoM: You fool he wanted to see your underwear Girl: I Know but i fooled him I removed my underwear before climing Sardar ji ko sarak k kinaray peeshab kartay dehk kar 1 larki rasra badalnay lagi Sardar ji bole, " DARYE MAT AP JIS SE DAR RAHI HAIN USEY MAIN NE PAKRA HUA HA " PART-V Dunya k 5 Asool: 1 Paani aur lan apna rasta hud banaty hain!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2Doodh Phantny aur gand phatny ki awaz kabhi nahi aati!! 3Jazbat aur mummy jitna dubao utna ubharty hain!!!!!!!!! 4Biwi aur gari kisi ko na dohamesha chud ker wapis mily gi! 5sSanp aur phudi jahan mily mar do!!!!!!!!!!!! "Ooee sardar g apni biwi ko itni dard main Hospital ki bajaye PIZZA HUTT kioon le kar ja rahe ho??????" SARDAR: "kioon k PIZZA HUTT main delivery FREE he"
17 Teacher: Dunya main sab se halki cheez kon si he?????? Student: "ji Lun!!" Teacher: "Woh kaise?" Student: Jo cheez sochny se bhi uth jye uss se halka aur kia cheez ho sakti he" Zindgi ki 5 aham batain: 1Kismat aur gand kahin bhi khul sakti he 2Pareshani aur lulli kahin bhi khari ho sakti he 3Ghareeb aur mummy hamesha dubaye jate hain 4Dodh aur choot phatny ki awaz nahi hoti 5Sanp aur choot jahan mily wahan mar do warna koi aur mar de ga!!!!!!!! Sardar: "yaar meri biwi pani se bohat darti he" Friend: "acha! woh kaise" Sardar: "Yaar kal main ghar aya to woh bath tub main bhi security guard k sath bethi thi!!!!!" Sardar G: "Doctor sb kamzori bohat he" Doctor: "Doodh duba ker piya kro" Sardar G: "Doctor sb doodh to bohat zyada peeeta hun magar woh zyada dubane nahi deti!!!!!!" man goes to buy condom Salesgirl: "May i hold u penis for size?" She orders: "give him small" Wait!!!! "give him medium" Wait!!!! "give him large" SHIT!!!! "give me a tissue!!!!"
18 Callgirl "Sardar g! sx kro ge" Sardar g "bilkul, but meri wife ki tarah kro gi" "haan kroon gi, but woh kaise kerti he" "moft main!!!!!!!! " Judge: "why did u kill ur husband" Lady: "He called me from office Took me to bedroom Removed my cloths Laid me on the bed Spread my legs and said APRIL FOOL!!!! 1st Kid "meri mom jadugar he" Jab woh papa k nunu ko chooti he to woh bara ho jata he 2nd Kid: meri mom jab papa k nunu pe bethti he to woh gyeb ho jata he!!!!!!!!! A sweet girl goes to Banta shop and said "mujhy underwear dikhao" Banta sharmate hoe "aaj pehan ker nahi aya!!!!" A boy asked his girl friend to play wd his penis Its her first time After sometime she asked "wat r these drops coming out?" Boy "khushi k aansoo hain!!!!!!!" Girl: I'm like Radio, My left nipple is volume And right is tuner Boy turns both but there is no sound!!!!! Girl: Stupid neeechy plug kia tera baap lagaye ga
19 Bhosri Plaza Hotel "MENU CARD" :-grilled mummay :-achari lun :-phudi of the day :-tandoori bund :-lullian sirky wali :-chilly chot :-tattay mughlai :-gori bund da halwa :-nargasi tattay :-phuddy pakaora :-lun falooda :-mard makhan naan :-afghani gand kabab :-daighy mummay :-lun khara masala :-bhosri fried rice A nurse comes in doctors room Doctor asked "why is ur one boob out of ur shirt" Nurse: these medical students never keep things at place after use!!!!!!!!! YOUNGER BROTHER TO ELDER SIS: "WHY ARE MOM AND DAD IN THE ROOM FOR THREE DAYS?" ELDER SIS REPLIES LAUGHING: "DAD HAD ASKED ME FOT VASLINE BUT I GAVE THEM ELFY BY MISTAKE"!!!!! Once all Eggs in women Pussy desided to fight against sperms They waited with guns in the pussy That night no one came Suddenly 1 shouted : HAMLA PEACHAY SE HUA HAI Girl and Boy lost in a Jungle: after two days of struggle for food and water, girl said: dear plz fuck me Boy said Why? girl Said: abay kuch to ander jayega Boyefriend Fingering his Girlfriend Girl: Aah Take Off Your ring its Hurting me Boy: Honey Its not my ring, its my wrist watch Yeh Larkiyaan Kitni Chalaak hoti hainapna 18 Rupiye liter walay doodh ka thaila dikha kar Aap Ka 180 rupiye Litre Wala Ghee Nikaal Leti hain
20 Maa: Beti Wo Larka thik Nahi Jise tu chahti Hai, Beti : Nahi Maa wo Doctor Banega Usnay to meri wo bemari bhi thik kardi jo mujhe har mahine hoti theee Quote Of the Day " Paisa Gand Ki tara Hota hai Hota sab Ke Pass Hai par Dena Koi NahI chatha " Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag ke parde ke peeche chup jati hai Husband: Kya hua? Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai Sabse bara TERRORIST Kaun? AURAT! jo Har raat ek TOWER ko gira deti hai Sab se Bara BUILDER kaun? MARD! Jo agli raat phir Aus Tower ko Khara kar deta ha:) DR: A Penis is the greatest breakfast b'coz it has a Mushroom head, a hotdog, 2 eggs, and cream which provides all the nutrients 2 make women healthy Girl Asked Plastic surgeon 2 make another hole near her ass surgeon was surprised and asked why? girl: Business is gud so opening a new branch " Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di 2 din baad pucha,ab tu sab theek ha? Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha Marzi se ho sex tu paap nahi hota Kunwari se ho tu mood kharab nahi hota condom zarur lagana mere dost kyunke us time LORAY ke Pass DAMAGH nahi hota A Girl after talking Sardar's dick in her mouth, 1000 nikal warna kaat lungi sardar : 500 mujhe de warna peeshaab kar donga Husband: Shadi k baad zindagi kutte jaisi ho gayi hai Wife: Kutte se kya barabari karoge, woh to 1 ghenta phasa k rakhta hai tumhari to 1 min main gand phat jati ha Husband: Begum Neeand Nahi aa rahi Sex Ho Jaye? Wife: Madarchood Meri choot k andar teri maa lori de rahi hai jo tujhe neeand a jaye gi?
21 A 75 Years Old Man talking to his penis We were born togather, grown up togather, enjoyed life togather, Then why did u die before me? Teacher ne pocha Aisi Konsi cheez hai jisay tum log dekh sakte ho par pakar nai sakte? student" MADAM APP KE MAMAY Interview:Sardar g batao Konsi cheez tez chalti hai aur jis k 4 payen hain Sardar: CAR Interviewer: Galat, Honda Car Ok next Woh Kia hai jis k 2 payen hain aur bohat tez chalti hai Sardar: Motor Cycle Interviewer : Galat Yamaha Motor Cycle Now sardar went mad aur bola Interview gaya bhosray main ab mere sawal ka jawab do Sardar : Idher baal Udhar baal Beach main chaid Interviewer : CHOOT sardar: Nahi Galat " TERI MAA KI CHOOT ' Hasband raat ko wife ko kar raha tha,kartai kartai papo ki ankh khol gai papo apni maa ko dekh kar wash rööm main chala gaya Muth marnai laga baap naydekha to poucha kya kar rahai ho papu; apna kam khud karta hon kisi ke maa nahi chodta Reena-'What is difference between Boys & Girls?' Tina-'Boys R naughty,we R BeautyThey R Lyer,We R FireThey've chest,we've BreastThey' ve Muscle,we've nipplesthey' ve night fall,we've 2 big ballsthey've a pole,we've a big holethey can fight, we can bitethey can fuk,we can suck Kabhi tu lee hogi suraj ne chand ki, Tabhi tu chand main daag hai, Mumkin hai chand ne dubara nahi dee hogi, Tabhi tu suraj main aag hai Baluchi: Hamare raigistan mein 'khushamdid' bolo to vapis awaz aati hai amdidamdid Pathan: khocha, hamare paharo mein 'i luv u' bolo to vapis awaz aata hai luv uluv upunjabi: Ae keri gal hai paa ji Saday pind di gali vich awaz maro 'teri maa di', te vapas awaz aandi hai 'teri pehn di'
22 Raat k 2 bajay bahoo k kamray se aik aadmi nikla aur bhaag gya Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na kaha kyon k saas bhee kabhee bahu thee! Qissa aik Chudai ka Pehlay gaand pe kaat liya humnay phir phuddi ko chaat liya humnay Phir diya hontoun pe namkeen bhosa, bari daer talak mammo ko choosa, Ungli kar k paani diya nikaal, boli wo tarap k jaldi se daal, Josh-e-shevat main loray ko rakha choot pe, dono haath jama diye us k doodh pe, Zabt ka bandhan achanak toot gaya, chudai se pehlay bahar hi chhot gaya Chachi to Bhatija: hum chaat ki dukan kholenge, Lekin gaahak kaise ayengebhatija to Chachi:Mein advrtsmnt karunga k '10 rupaye me Chachi ki Chat lo' Boy 2 girl ladkiyan rukhsati k waqt roti Q haingirl say!abay chutiah agar tujhay pata ho k koi tujhe ghar se dur le ja k teri gaand maray ga to kia tu nachega? What is pure Hindi name of Condom?? Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi Man gives blood 2 his Girlfriendlater on they split up & man wants blood backshe throws a used paad 2 him & says: i wil pay u monthly,u bastard Malang:-Beta Hamesha Apne Se Badi Ko Maa,Choti Ko Beti,Barabar Wali Ko Bahen Maano!Boy:-Baba ji,phir ye LORA aap Hi Rakh lo,bhaang Kootnay K Kaam aye ga
23 gal:hw many siblings u hav? boy:m d nly 1 gal:kyun? baap me dum nehi tha kya? boy:n how many r u? gal:8 boy:kyun?baap ko aur koi kaam nehi tha kya? Ek admi jaldi jaldi ladies toilet main ghus gya, ek aurat chillaye ;u idiot ye ladies k lye hai,aadmi pant utaar k bola ye bhi ladies k liye hai!! PART-VI Dracula: Main tumhara khoon peena chahta hoon Girl: Pehlay batana tha na aaj hi band hua hay A Guy picks up a girl for the date "Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee?" Girl: "I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt" Lady : "I want a good vibrator"; Salesman: "Ma'am you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall"; Lady : "OK I'll take that red one"; Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher" ; Teacher:"Why did you bring your cat to school?" Pupil : "Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY Sex se pehle kapde utarte samay biwi gir gayihusbnd: JAAN lagi to nahi?sex ke baad kapde pehante samay fir gir gayihusbnd: ANDHI HAI Kya BEHANCHOD Arz kiya hai Teer kya chalati ho, dhaar to talwar main hai, Teer kya chalati ho, dhaar to talwar main hai Dupatay sa kya chupati ho maal to SHALVAR mai hai
24 WIFE :- Wonderful Instrument For Entertainment ek aadmi bhagwan ke pas jata haui aur kehta hai aye bhagwan mujhe 100 lund de dey bhagwan uss ko 100 lund de deta hai wo khushi khuhsi jaa raha hota hai peechey se bhagwan ki awaz ati hai ruk bhousrike yeh 200 tatte tera baap le kar jayega??? ek sawalï ½14 feb valentines day ko loog aisa kiya kartay hain k theek 9 months kay baad 14 nov ko CHILDRENS DAY manana parhta haiï ½ Kareena adapted 1 yr old baby1 day baby cry: Mama I need milkkareena: " Beta tum ab bare hogai ho khana khaobaby:" Agar pilla nahi rahi to plz dikha he do Girl: Mujhe BRA Chahiye ShopKeeper: 36 chalegi? Girl: nahi, isse choti ShopKeeper: 32 chalegi? Girl: nahi, isse choti ShopKeeper: 28 chalegi? Girl: nahi, isse choti ShopKeeper: Madam, Band-Aid laga lo pimple hua hai fastest centuries Shahid Afridi = 37 balls Jaysurya = 48 balls Ijaz ehmad = 59 balls But Dhritrashtra= only in 2 balls!!! "Every man" is a "terrorist" for "woman" first he "destroy" her "two towers" then he "attack" on her "pentagon" then Puts "Mesile" in her "white house" Girl goes to repair umbrella Umbrella man says, UPER KA KAPDA HATANA PADEGA AUR NICHE SE RODE DAALNI PADEGI Girl syas, DO ANYTHING BUT PAANI ANDER NAHI AANA CHAIYE! Boy ask girl : why there is sound when u urinate? Girl replies: we don't have 8 inch silencer like U
25 A man was fucking a nurse She shouts: Aah it's painful Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I donï ½t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts Teacher key barrey boobs dekh kar aik student bola, ismain kitna calcium hay? Teacher : ismain itna calcium hay ki bina hadi wala LUND bhi khada ho jay!! in chemistry class teacher ask a girl : "what is "NITERATE"? girl : sir NITE K 1500/ rs n hotel k alag se "MOTO RAZR" aur "MOTO KRZR" ki shandar kamyabi k baad ab pesh hai "MOTO BRAZeR" Characteristics: 1-itna slim k boobs k beech asani se aa jaye, na chori ka dar na cheene jane ka dar 2-56 mega pix camera Brazier k ander tak dikhai 3- iska taakatwar vibrating system DOODH ko LASSI banaye a bee entered into wife vagina by mistakehusband took her 2 docdoc: i ve an idealets pour sum honey on the dick like dis n insert into vagina like dis n immediatly pull out whn the bee comes nearbt doc penetrats mor n mor husband noticed tht doc is getting excited doing allhusband: wat r u doing?? Doc: ''Plan Change, i'll kill the bastered inside'' 1 Andhi larki pehli daffa sex karwa rahi thi,jab maza aaya tu poocha"yeh neechay kia latak rahay hain?larka bola,yeh tattay hainandhi boli,yeh andar nahi dalnay hotay?larkay nay keha,nahi yeh baahir hi rahtay hain Andhi boli,"khayal karna,andhi mohtaaj ka haq na maarna To, The Principal Phuddi public school, punjaaab city Sir Main 16 saal di haseenkuri hoon te main 8v class vich parhdi cmere mammay bare ho jane di waja se menu sidhe 10v class vich kar dita Meri brassier da no34 haiga te roll no v 34 hi hai Gal eh hai k kal main school nu aarahi c, menu raaste vich 4 mundiyaan ne phar liya te meri fuddi de naal meri bhund v phaar ditti Is liye main 2 din school nahi aa sakdi thank u ur's obiently, bholi
26 EK Sardar g ki biwi mar gaye doston ne poocha kaise mar gayee? sardar g : mun vich mun c, phuddi vich lun c, bhund vich ugali c pata nahi rooh kithooon nikal gaye Be gharz zindagi main Armaan Bosri ka Gand K peechay hai pathan Bohosri ka Wo Rubber ki Chootain Wo Plastic K Loray Kia Kia bana raha Hai Japan Bhosri ka Wo Lahore ki Heera Mandi or Us pe Chikni Randi Mashooor hai is waja se Pakistan Bhosri ka Wo Charas ki Rodain Wo Sharab ki botlain Kia Kia Pee Raha hai Insaan Bhosri ka Boy to Barber : Jhant k baal katne k kitne loge? Barber : 100 rs Girl : aur mere kitne loge? Barber : 150 rs Girl : mere 150 kion? Barber : larkon k paas handel hai aur aap k pakarne ki jaga nahi hai Suhag raat ko Sardar g ne Apni Biwi k peeche dala to Biwi boli : Sardar g Peeche nahi Aage Daalte hain Sardar g : tum ko kaise pata? Biwi : ek dafa mujhe 4 aadmi utha k le gaye thay, sab ne aage hi dala tha Sardar g : mujhe bhi utha k le gaye thay, mujhe to peeche dala tha 3 Girls Class main baatain ker rahi theen Ek ne kaha : Maine sir ki table pe condom dekha Dosri boli : main us main sorakh ker diya Teesri boli : Oooh Shit marawa diya na yaar Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut Mommy: U mean it's small? Little Girl: No, it's salty A kiss is called humanity if its on cheek, love if on lips, passion if on breast, humor if on navel, sex if on vagina and called bravery if its on ass hole
27 A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of refrences! agar bura na mano tu raat ko light off rukhna,kameez ko otar kaar shalwar ko dhela rukhna,bed ko single kaar kar kundee ko off rukhna,chut pay malish kaar kay level tu saath rukhna, aaaahhhhh aaj kuch josh zayada hay apne gaand ko tayar rukhna,tera tu kaar doon ga kaam sara meray lund ka kheyal rukhna,tere chut ko milay ga sakoon meray lund ka istemal ruukhna,lund daekh kaar bayhoosh na ho jao es leay light off rukhna,, Chaho to humko bhula denachaho to hamara naam dil se mita denapar jab tanhai me hamari yaad aye to rona matsirf 1 baar gand me ungli daal ke hila lena! one day after office boss starts fuck her secaratery meanwhile his wife call n ask where r u he replies i m very buzy with an client after fuck he reach home his wife ask wy u r so tired he reply "TUMHE KAISE SAMJHAON CLIENT KO SATISFY KERNE K LYE KITNI MAHNAT KERNI PARI" Phoolon say achi us ki CHOOT, Kaliyon say pyari us ki GAAND, Sitaron say chamaktay hovay Mum'may, Koyal si meethi zabaan, Chand bhi chup jaye yeh keh kar, Aasmaan par ab kya hai mera kaam, Chandni to aa nikli zameen say, kaisi hai yeh kudrat ki shaan, Fursat say banaya hoga rab nay, Farishton ka nahin yeh kaam, Mitti say bane hain hum sab, Us mein sonay ko milaya hoga, Hooron nay bhi hasrat say dekha hoga, Pariyon say sundar yeh insaan, Alfaaz bhi kum parte hain kehne ko AAISI HAI MERI JAAN Santa: chicken kaise diye? Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10 Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon? Sir ise AIDS hai Santa: De do mujhe khana hai gaand thodi marni hai! Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya
28 Santa raping a gal in car A cop came & said: What r u doing? Santa: I'm raping her Cop: Ok, I'm next Santa: Fine, but I have never raped a cop before Pappu: Dad, today they taught about Sex in the class Santa: Ok son Later he saw Pappu shaking his penis, he asked what r u doing? Pappu: Homework Dad PART-VII 4 Nuns in a que to Confess 1st : Father, I saw a penis Father: don't worry child, go and wash ur eyes with the holy water 2nd: father, I touched a Penis Father: don't worry child, go and wash your hands with the holy water Suddenly the 4th nun runs to the holy water Father: Hey where are you going? 4th nun: I wanna gargle with that holy water before the 3rd SisTer puts Her ASS in it A Gunman Stops a car and asks the Man to Masturbate Scared Driver obeys This continues for 6 times Till the driver has no energy Left Gunman says "Now, give Lift to my DaughTer Lady sends Panties to dhobi for washing but the stains didn't go So, the lady sends a note to the dhobi which reads "kapde theek se dhoya karo", for which the dhobi replies "GAAND THEEK SE DHOYA KARO Wife: Whenever I sing, why do you go outside and stand? Husband: To Ensure that our neighbours don't think that I am fucking you forcibly Song from Movie Machis Chunni Leke Soti Thi Kamaal Lagti Thi "Lo KarLo BaaT Sirf Chunni Leke Soyegi ToU KamaaL he LaGeGi Na"
29 Man: Behanji, mere biwi k liye eik AchA sa BRA Dikhaana Woman: Size kya hai? Man: Pakdo Tou AnDa aur ChoDo Tou OmLette AsLi hero kaun? Jo chemist shop mein jaake sabhi BranDs k CondoM Nikaalne k baad ek select karey Aur chemist se pooche TRIAL ROOM KAHA HAI??? A toilet is like a commnunity meeting People come with lot of pressure, sit, create lot of noise and ultimately DROP THE MATTER! 1st Lady: Did you know that lions have sex 4 to 6 times in one night? 2nd Lady: Oh no, I just joined the Rotary club, i should have joined the Lion's Club Gabbar: Basanti Potty Ker Veero: Nahi Basanti In Kutton K Saamne Potty Mat Kerna Ye Tujhe Paani Nahi Denge Aur Teri Gaand Mujh Se Chatwayenge Q How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A Call her and tell her datï ½ "I m HaVing Sex Wid UrBest Friend ï ½" Memon weekly chaklay ja k rate malum karta tha Dost:Jab tu kuch kerta nahi hay to rate kyun puchta hay??? Memon:Check kerta hun k biwi mehengi tou nahi per rahi Chidambaram asks a Rand: Kitna leti ho? Rand:Aage se Rs 200 piche se Rs 220 Chiddu: piche ka zyada kyu? Rand:10 takka aapka TURNOVER Tax Khobsurti Aishwariya Pe Khatam Acting Shahrukh Pe Khatam Singing Lata Pe Khatam
30 Bharam Munna Bhai Pe Khatam Orr Aap " MUTH " Mar Mar K Khatam A Scientist has Invented a New Bra Which Stop Boons From Bouncing While Running & Does'nt Show Nipples When Wet DONT WORRY The BASTARAD HAS BEEN KILLED Interviewer: aap kisi larki mein sab se pehle kya dekhte hain? Sardar: Ojidepend karta hai k wo aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai What's d heights of tension? When U Get 2 C Cleavage of Sexy Teacher Sitting Right In front of U, During Last 5 Minutes Of Exam & U Got 2 Write a Lot To Pass ;-> Aaloo lo Bhindi lo Bengan lo Gobi lo Kadu lo Kele lo Tamatar lo Karele lo Jo marzi lo Bund tuhadi hai ;-> Prostitute: doc, my hole is too big Doctor looks into the hole & says: Oh My GODNESSGODNESS GODNESS Prostitute: Why are you repeating the words??? Doctor: It was an ECHO! ;-> There Is A Nerve Which connectes ur Asshole To ur Eyes Called Anal Optic Nerve,, Don't Believe??? Pull A Hair From Ur Ass Hole & See Tear Coming From Ur Eyes
31 Patle Patle Chotron Ko Hum Phula Dege Gol Gol Mumoon ko HumDaba Dege Ap Hamara 1 Bar Le Ke To Dekho Chod Chod Ke Apki Gand Sujha DEGE Super thought for the nyt - "Love is Very Deep But Sex Has To Go Only A Few Inches" Fuck is easy, is funny, anybody fuck for money, if you think that fuck is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money! Lady Patient: Doctor I can't take off my clothes for the check up becuz I am too shy Doctor: No Problem! I shall put the lights out Lady patient (after taking the clothes off): Doctor! Where am I supposed to hang them? Doctor: On the hook behind you where I hung mine! Man To Pathan : Have you ever Fucked your girlfriend in the other hole? Pathan : Are you mad? She"ll get pregnant ;-> Ye Hafta Kaisa Guzre Ga Choootyape K Kaamo'n Me Dhyan Rahega Lund Pe Pakar Dheeli Rahegi Choot k Darshan Bohat Mushkil Hain Aur Larki Cherne Se Guraiz Karen Q k Aap Ki Gand Phatne K Imkaan Hai Larki K Bhai Se ;-> A gy Walk Into A Local Pharmacy & Walks Up To The Counter Where Lady Pharmacists Is Filling Preception When She Finally Gets Around To Him He Sys : I'd Likt 99 Condom Plz Lady Pharmacist Suptises & Says : FUCK MEE!!! Boy Replies: Ok, Make It 100 ;-> ThaT's The Spirit Keera mat maro, Makora mat maro, Makkhi mat maro, Marna hi hai to?
32 Muth maro pap nahi lagega Jai muth Teacher:Laden ki5 biwiya or20 bache,lalu ki1 biwi or9 bache to batao in dono me se koun achha? Baccha:score to laden ka jyada hai par average lalu ka achaa hai ;-> Why are condoms only sold in packets of 3 and 12? Because 3 are for young ppl like me (morning,afternoon, night) n 12 for old ppl,like u Jan,feb,mar, apr, ;-> Boss To Secretory : Book My Ticket For London Aur Suno Mera Naam "DKBOSE" Likhwana??? Werna Airport Pe Mera Naam "BOSEDK" Announce Hota Hai Can u Repeat This Fast "Chandu K Chacha Ne Chandu Ki Chachi Ki Choot Chaati, Tou Chandu Ki Chachi Chillayi, Chutiye Choot Chatna Chor Aur Condom Charha K Chod " ;-> Raat K Andhere Main Sardar: Ye Condom Itna Chota Aur Sakht Kion Hai??? Wife: O Bina Dimag K Janwar Wo Bachay K Doodh Peenay Ka Nip[ple Hai Utaa Usay ;-> Gabbar-Ye gaand mujhe de de thakur!! THAKUR- Dekh gabbar,haath tak to theek tha, magar " BUND PANGA "mujhe pasand nahin!!! ;-> INDIA KI REET Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR aur agar apne aap lele to BaLaTkAar A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby She said, Lets start with the boys first Boys start giving their intro First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting Well, Ok Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby And after all there is essentially a child in each of us So its ok John Yes next
33 Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub Teacher now got surprised and said, Good I like the spirit of supporting a friend Ok next Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere Ok next This continues and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long Anyway, now the girls please First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds Teacher: Good At last I got something different Ok next Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls Ok next You sweet girl; Yes you Most beautiful girl of the class: Mam, my name is BUBBLE, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day Priest Was Rubbing Nun's Thigh,Nun:"Plz Read Bible Verse 89 " Priest Ashamed,Apologises Goes HomeRead Bible Verse 89 It Reads:" Go Higher To Find Glory " Science teacher:agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi Student:par sir use attack kaise dilaya jaye? Chinkoo Finkkoo Antar Mantar Pichoo Fishoo Shoof!!! Kuch Mehsoos Hua???? Nahi na!!!! Jadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Bataya Tha K Ye Jadu Gaandu Pe Asar Nahi Kerta What's NasBandi?? Jab Aap Ki Aadat Ho Gandi Peetay Ho Daaru Thandi Jaate Ho Heera Mandi Uthate Ho Dandi Phir CHodte Ho Randi Tab Kerni Hoti Hai Nasbandi ;-> Girl: Doctor Me Jab Bhi Su-Su Karti Hoon Tou 4 Dhaar Nikalti Hai After Chcking Doctor Said: 4 Dhaar Hi Niklengi, Andar Kisi Ki Pent Ka Button Phansa Hua Hai ;->
34 Boy: Teri Phuddi De Har Zakhm Te MEra Naa Hona, Mera Kuj Nahi Jana Tera Hi Naam Badnaam Hona Hai Girl: Mere Pra V Pehle Menu Hi Marenge Kanjran Hans Na Bhund Te Teri Vi Pharainge ;-> Student: Miss Choot Aur Chooter Me Kia Farq Hota Hai??? Miss:Beta, Jis Jaga Insan Ka Lund Jaye Wo Choot Hoti Hai Aur Jis Jaga Pathan Ka Lund Jaye Wo Chootar ;-> Q: What's The Difference Between A Pay Check And Ur Dick??? A: You Dont Have To Beg A Woman To Blow Your Check But To Blow Your Dick U Have To ;-> Wo Aaye Na Aaye Humare Loray Se Wo Kare Intizar Humare Loray Se Tum Se Larki Na CHUD Saki Gando Humne Khode PAHAR Loray Se Sardar : Jadugar Se : Mujhe Jado Dikhao Jadugar: Apni Pent Utar K Jhuko Jadugar: Tumhain Apni Gand Me Ungli Mehsoos Hui Sardar: Haan Jadugar: Lekin Mere Haath Tou Ye Rahe ;-> Master To Choto Sardar: Eh Dus K Hath Wich Kinian Ungliyan Hudain Ne??? Choto: Sir 6 hundian Ne Master : Oye Behachod, Tenu Kinni Vari Dasa Hai K Kache Ch Hath Pa K Unglian Na Gina Ker ;-> PART-VIII Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa Banta shouts: What s this? Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha Serve hot without dressing
COMMON HINDI WORDS AND PHRASES FOR FORIGEN TRAVELLERS COMING TO INDIA Namaste! (Hello) So are you planning to travel to India soon, and wondering how you will converse with the locals? You don t have to
NO LONGER THE FIRST 2010 Josh Danz Free performance of this play for high school and college level competitive forensics is permitted. All other rights reserved. The Intriguing Interp Series is published
Description of the Expressive Vocabulary Test The Expressive Vocabulary test is a measure of the child s ability to formulate thoughts that are expressed using the appropriate word or combination of words.
First 100 Instant Words the had out than of by many first and words then water a but them been to not these called in what so who is all some oil you were her sit that we would now it when make find he
Set 1 The people Write it down By the water Who will make it? You and I What will they do? He called me. We had their dog. What did they say? When would you go? No way A number of people One or two How
Fry Instant Words High Frequency Words The Fry list of 600 words are the most frequently used words for reading and writing. The words are listed in rank order. First Hundred Group 1 Group 2 Group 3 Group
33 Chapter 4 Basic communication skills People usually communicate by using words or signs. But children begin to communicate long before they learn these skills. Communication happens when: one person
California Treasures High-Frequency Words Scope and Sequence K-3 Words were selected using the following established frequency lists: (1) Dolch 220 (2) Fry 100 (3) American Heritage Top 150 Words in English
A Note to Parents This Wordbook contains all the sight words we will be studying throughout the year plus some additional enrichment words. Your child should spend some time each week studying this Wordbook
1 Kino, Juana and Coyotito K ino woke up early in the morning. The stars were still shining in the sky. The cockerels were beginning to crow 1 and the pigs were looking for something to eat. Outside the
A Kid s Christmas Play This Nativity play was written in its entirety, by a small group of children ages kindergarten through 3 rd grade from London Heights Baptist Church in Kansas City, Kansas. It is
Sight Word Superstars Building Fry List Fluency By Jennifer Bates http://finallyinfirst.blogspot.com/ How I use this program I developed this program because I noticed many of my students were still trying
Doonfoot Primary School Helping your child with Spelling at Home Information for Parents Introduction Being able to spell words correctly is one of the most important writing skills that your child can
CD Our Own Way Lyrics Beverly Granoff 2012 1. All The Things We See 2. Remember the Rules 3. You and Me 4. This Too Shall Pass 5. My Best Try 6. Our Own Way 7. A Little Help From You 8. My La La Melody
Fry Instant Phrases The words in these phrases come from Dr. Edward Fry s Instant Word List (High Frequency Words). According to Fry, the first 300 words in the list represent about 67% of all the words
Fry High Frequency Words and Dolch 220 Comparison List The Dolch List has not been revised for decades, while the Fry list is more current. The Fry list also is more comprehensive in that it includes 1,000
Chapter 1 Mum s new baby I threw my school bag onto the floor in my room, changed into jeans and a T-shirt and then ran back down the hall. Mum called me. Jenna, I need you for a minute. I looked at my
Dear Billy, I am writing to let you know how much I am missing you. I have some good news. I am going to be an auntie. I am so excited about finding out what my sister is having. I am very proud of you,
Personal Diary, Entry 1, Feb.16 I have been thinking of writing diary for a long time, however, I am too lazy to do so. Since I will leave for work for a whole year, I hope that I can record all the events
111 "I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL" IDCB, UNICEF New York/Danmarks Radio 2002 00.02.00 CAPTION IN DEVELOPING COUNTRIES ONLY ONE GIRL OUT OF TWO GOES TO SCHOOL 00.02.09narration Although every child has the right
BIBLE LESSON 8 1. Genesis 16 Abraham and Sarah were very sad. They didn't have any children! No little boys to run and play with, no little girls to dance and pick flowers with. One day Abraham decided
Most Common Words Transfer Card: List 1 the to a and in you that of it not for I is an Meg is in the bed. That is not for you. It is in a bag. I am not mad. Most Common Words Transfer Card: List 2 on with
Devotion NT284 CHILDREN S DEVOTIONS FOR THE WEEK OF: LESSON TITLE: The Ascension THEME: God promises His Holy Spirit to help His children SCRIPTURE: Luke 22:44-53 Dear Parents Welcome to Bible Time for
Devotion NT249 CHILDREN S DEVOTIONS FOR THE WEEK OF: LESSON TITLE: Jesus Visits Mary and Martha THEME: Jesus wants us to spend time with \ Him. SCRIPTURE: Luke 10:38-42 Dear Parents Welcome to Bible Time
The Story of Ruby Bridges Our Ruby taught us all a lot. She became someone who helped change our country. She was part of history, just like generals and presidents are part of history. They re leaders,
Number 35 I: In this interview I will ask you to talk the AIDS. And I want you to know that you don't have to answer all my questions. If you feel uncomfortable with a question, just tell me, and I will
Medel Sid 1(7) Namn: Poäng: Nivå : Adress: Tel: Complete each sentence with one item from those given below. Use each item once only. Note: Each question has One mark. You must have all words in the correct
Gift of the Magi By O Henry One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it in the smallest pieces of money - pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by negotiating with the
I was finishing to write a new article for my work when I received a call from my friend. She said that she had an idea for me to make a new article which can make the first page of London's newspaper.
JESUS HEALS A MAN WITH LEPROSY mark 1:40-45 A man with leprosy knelt down in front of Jesus. He begged Jesus to heal him. People with leprosy had to stay away from other people. They could not live with
THE WASHING MACHINE Written by Lorena Padilla email@example.com INT. DINING ROOM - DAY A very messy dining room. There are empty beer bottles and ashtrays with cigarettes on the table. (12) cleans
115 Chapter 12 Preventing Sexual Abuse As children become more independent, they meet more people and relate to them in many different ways. Just as they must learn to move around the house and community
The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one
Student Sample #1: Interpretive Essay We need role models because we need someone to look up to and talk to them so we could know what we want to do later in life. There are all types of people that you
T H E A T R E F O R Y O U R M O T H E R : THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD SHOW The Little Red Riding Hood story from a slightly more postmodernist point of view A play for children and their adults by Russell
A Play by Irwin Garcia CHARACTERS Seventeen, an introverted person that doesn t really go out much. His tone of voice is clear and not as dead sounding as you would expect from an introvert. Seventeen,
: Part #2: His Miracles Page 1 During the three years that Jesus traveled, taught and helped people, He did many miracles. Some of them showed that He had power over disease and death (D). Sometimes what
1. They are the United States. a) to b) for c) from d) with 3. is your favourite colour? a) How b) This c) Who d) What 5. This is my car. a) mother b) mothers c) mother is d) mother's 7. Are these shoes
DIRECT AND INDIRECT SPEECH When the actual words of the speaker are reproduced, it is called direct speech. Example: He said, I am going to school. When the main idea of a speaker s words is reported by
Paddington in London Dear aunt Lucy, I miss you so much. When you left me on the boat, I spent weeks in there. I had to hide in a mailbag and it ended in the train station. In the boat I ate all my jam,
Complete. The Chocolate Touch: Chapters 1-2 Review 1. What did John find unusual about the man inside the store? 2. Why didn't John make it to Susan's house? 3. Is this book written from a first or third
Lesson One Love Love is putting others first and helping those in need. 1. Welcome and Worship When introducing today s Super Hero, Dr. Love, the worship leader should ask, Why do they call you Dr. Love?
Page 48 Flyers Cambridge Young Learners English Tests Blank Page 2 Part 1 10 questions Look and read. Choose the correct words and write them on the lines. There is one example. a fridge an apartment cupboards
Spelling Rule Book Name: Classroom _ Instructor: = Spelling Rules. How many can you count? Dark words and letters are important. Make sure you pay attention to them! What are the vowels? Vowels have long
rd 3 5 th December 15-16, 2012 Wise Men Worship Matthew 2 The wise men worshiped and we can too! Play games and hang out (10 minutes) Large group (30 minutes) Small group (20 minutes) Video/song review
Christmas Theme: The Greatest Gift OVERVIEW Key Point: Jesus is the greatest gift of all. Bible Story: The wise men brought gifts Bible Reference: Matthew 2:1-2 Challenge Verse: And we have seen and testify
"Perfect" by Simple Plan Hey dad look at me Think back and talk to me Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all
Cain and Abel Teacher Pep Talk: Everyone understands sibling rivalry. Even the youngest child can relate to being upset with a brother or sister. Cain and Abel are the first example of this enmity. Cain
Placement Test Date / / Name Nationality This placement test contains 50 multiple-choice questions for you to answer, and 3 writing questions. Please write a few sentences for each writing question. It
Easter Everyday - Week 4 Day 1 - God Is Greater 1 John 3:19-24 (NLV) 19 This is how we know we are Christians. It will give our heart comfort for sure when we stand before Him. 20 Our heart may say that
Dialog: VIP LESSON 049 - Future of Business A: We really embarrassed ourselves last night at that business function. B: What are you talking about? A: We didn't even have business cards to hand out. We
THE NATIONAL DAY TO PREVENT TEEN PREGNANCY QUIZ Ever think about sex? Of course you do who doesn t? What about actually having sex? What will you do when you re in that situation? The best time to think
Exercise 1: Tick (P) the suitable answer. 1. What's... job? A your B yours C you 2. The traffic is... than it was many years ago. A badder B more bad C worse 3. I've... washed the floor. It's wet. A already
BIBLE LESSON 1. Jacob was on a long journey going to his father's home. Jacob had his wives and children with him and he had many cows and donkeys and sheep and camels as well. Jacob's twin brother Esau,
Run-on Sentences (See Rules for Writers 188-195) A run-on sentence is not just any long sentence. A run-on occurs when two complete sentences (independent clauses) are stuck together without the appropriate
JESUS HEALS A BLIND MAN Mark 8:22-26 Jesus and His disciples were traveling from one town to another. When they came to the next town, some people brought a blind man to Jesus. They begged Jesus to heal
SCENE ONE: HANSEL AND GRETEL S HOUSE Hansel and Gretel are nervously awaiting the arrival of their new Stepmother. What do you think our new Stepmother will be like, Gretel? (Nervously) I don t know. I
The Nightmare after Christmas Scene 1: The Halloween Town Jacklyn: (Monologue) This is a story about me and my brother, Jack, the king of Halloween Town. I haven t seen my brother for ages, how many years?
Value: Truth Lesson M1.4 HONESTY Objective: To stimulate awareness of the importance of acting truthfully and honestly. To recognise how their behaviour affects others. Key Words: couple, delicious, enormous,
Devotion NT350 CHILDREN S DEVOTIONS FOR THE WEEK OF: LESSON TITLE: Be Holy THEME: Jesus wants us to grow in Him and be holy. SCRIPTURE: 1 Peter 1:13-2:12 Dear Parents Welcome to Bible Time for Kids! This
2011-2012 PRESCHOOL WORSHIP SONGS ALL MY HEART I wanna love you, God With all my heart With all my heart I wanna love you, God with all my heart (whistling) I wanna love you, God Like Jesus did Like Jesus
BOOK 1, PART 3, LESSON 4 THE FORGIVING FATHER THE BIBLE: Luke 15:11-32 THEME: We can discover what Jesus wants us to do and be by hearing the parables Jesus told. PREPARING FOR THE LESSON MAIN IDEA: Jesus
Little bird Little bird I want to sing a song for you cause you were a witness of a love so new You were sitting there singing your happy tune We were sitting there looking at you Let me ask you something,
Act Two SCENE I.Apt It is immaculately clean. No, not clean. Sterile! Spotless! Not a speck of dirt can be seen No laundry bags, no dirty dishes, no half-filled glasses. Suddenly FELIX appears from the
BADMINTON Written by Simon K. Parker Copyright 2013 This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author. firstname.lastname@example.org INT. S HOUSE - S BEDROOM
Teaching Touching Safety Kindergarten Lesson Plan 1: Touching Safety Rules Scripture: Guidelines Reference: Catechism: Goal: Objective: Overview: Activity: If the whole body were just an eye, how would
Jessica's English Sentences Dolch K-3 Sentences 1-218 Vocabulary and Grammar By Jessica E. Riggs Students should master at least ten of the sentences per day, ideally, and be able to write them at once
Workbook 2015-2016 This book belongs to: Provided by the Partnership 4 Safety at The Arc of Spokane Healthy Relationships This is YOUR Healthy Relationships workbook. You can color in it! You can write
Playing War Too hot for basketball, Luke said. Let s do something else. They moved to the shade under the willow tree while they decided what to do next. Do you have any more water balloons? Danny asked.
Hello and welcome to the vocabulary lesson for the conversation called Dating. Now this is a conversation Joe and I were having about some of our friends and the different dates that they have gone on.
Shadow s Secret 1 New Kid in 1 the Fort hhh! Manny whispered. Keep your head down. Jake ducked and barely breathed. Between the green leaves on the tree s branches, he could see the turning wheels of two
"A Young Child's Point of View on Foster Care and Adoption" Michael Trout Director, The Infant-Parent Institute Reprinted by permission Mr. Trout is a trainer and course leader in infant mental health,
SAFE ENVIRONMENT LESSON PLAN Grade: First Grade All portions of this lesson plan can be completed in one session. OBJECTIVES The First Grade student will 1. Illustrate 3 ways that their bodies are good
Devotion NT273 CHILDREN S DEVOTIONS FOR THE WEEK OF: LESSON TITLE: The Garden of Gethsemane THEME: We always need to pray! SCRIPTURE: Luke 22:39-53 Dear Parents Welcome to Bible Time for Kids. Bible Time
STAND UP Written by Simon K. Parker Copyright 2016 This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author. Simonkyleparker@hotmail.co.uk EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Use of Passive voice Passive voice is used when the focus is on the action. It is not important or not known, however, who or what is performing the action. Example: My bike was stolen. The focus is on
EXTRA in English Episode 1: Hector s Arrival Script COMMENTARY [voice over] This is the story of Bridget and Annie who share a flat in London. They have a neighbour, Nick. Nick fancies Bridget, but Annie