Child. Is Missing: When Your. A Family Survival Guide

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1 U.S. Departmet of Justice Office of Justice Programs Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio you are ot aloe; families ca ad do survive there is o right or wrog way to respod; there is o right or wrog way to feel hope is essetial to your survival to give your child the best chaces of beig foud, you ad law eforcemet must treat oe aother as parters base your relatioship with law eforcemet o mutual re spect, trust, ad hoesty; however, you do t have to agree o every detail trust your feeligs, isticts, ad gut reactios; share them with law eforcemet so they ca be checked out do t be afraid to make suggestios or air differeces of opiio cotact the media immediately; they ca be a very effective tool i askig for help if you are uable to speak aloe, select someoe to fuctio as your media spokesperso remember that you cotrol the situatio, the media do ot co trol you you have the right to say o to a iterview you have the right to refrai from aswer ig questios if doig so makes you feel ucomfortable you have the right to completely give your side of the story you have the right to be treated with digity ad respect let people kow you love your child ad eed their help i fidig ad brigig your child home hold a prayer or cadlelight vigil distributig pictures ad iformatio is a es setial part of search ad recov ery get as may people ad or gaizatios as possible to distrib ute your child s picture plug ito NCMEC s photo distributio services place reward posters where those people most likely to have iformatio ca see them the may offers of support will carry you through; whe people ask what they ca do, try to tell them somethig specific do t be afraid to ask for what you eed... people really do wat to help as log as you have specific tasks for voluteers to perform, they wo t go away askig voluteers to help relieves you of the burde of tryig to do everythig yourself, which you caot may orgaizatios are poised to help you fid your missig child do everythig you ca to take care of yourself it is okay, eve ecessary, to take a break from the stress for dier ad a walk do t blame yourself... at ay give momet, you are doig the best you possibly ca you do ot have to be a emotioal rock for exteded family seek peace ad solace for yourself, ecourage family members to do the same a laugh ca be as cleasig as a good cry your child eeds you to be strog brig the eeds of your other childre ito balace with those of your missig child do t let your loss become a taboo subject keep a otebook with you to record your thoughts ad review it periodically keep your focus ad exercise cautio ever stop lookig Whe Your Child Is Missig: A Family Survival Guide

2 Cotact Orgaizatios Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre 699 Price Street Alexadria, VA THE LOST ( ) (Hotlie for the Uited States, Caada, ad Mexico), (TTY), or (Fax) Iteret: CyberTiplie: Brach Offices Califoria: Florida: Kasas City (MO): New York: South Carolia: Texas: Child Protectio Divisio Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio Office of Justice Programs U.S. Departmet of Justice 810 Seveth Street NW. Washigto, DC (Fax) Iteret: Office for Victims of Crime Office of Justice Programs U.S. Departmet of Justice 810 Seveth Street NW. Washigto, DC (Fax) Iteret: Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio See the frot of your local telephoe book for the umber of your local FBI Field Office. FBI Headquarters Special Ivestigatios ad Iitiatives Uit Crimes Agaist Childre Uit 935 Pesylvaia Aveue NW. Washigto, DC (Fax) Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, Ic. Iteret: Office of Justice Programs Iovatio Parterships Safer Neighborhoods

3 Whe Your Child Is Missig: A Family Survival Guide Jeff Slowikowski, Actig Admiistrator Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio Office of Justice Programs U.S. Departmet of Justice NCJ Fourth Editio May 2010

4 U.S. Departmet of Justice Office of Justice Programs Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio 810 Seveth Street NW. Washigto, DC Eric H. Holder, Jr. Attorey Geeral Laurie O. Robiso Assistat Attorey Geeral Jeff Slowikowski Actig Admiistrator This documet was prepared by Fox Valley Techical College uder cooperative agreemet umber 2008 MC CX K005 from the Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio, U.S. Departmet of Justice. This editio is updated from the third pritig. The Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio is a compoet of the Office of Justice Programs, which also icludes the Bureau of Justice Assistace; the Bureau of Justice Statistics; the Commuity Capacity Developmet Office; the Natioal Istitute of Justice; the Office for Victims of Crime; ad the Office of Sex Offeder Setecig, Moitorig, Apprehedig, Registerig, ad Trackig (SMART).

5 I remember stadig i the middle of the chaos thikig, I wish I had a book to tell me what to do. Collee Nick

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7 Office of the Attorey Geeral Washigto, D.C Message From Attorey Geeral Eric H. Holder, Jr. Nothig is more importat to parets tha the safety ad welfare of their childre. Whe a child disappears, it is critically importat for parets to kow that there are resources readily available to help. Law eforcemet officers, agecies with expertise i recoverig missig childre, family members, ad eighbors are oly some of the people who will do everythig i their power to help i the search for a missig child. Whe Your Child Is Missig: A Family Survival Guide is aother resource that was created for this very purpose. It provides firsthad kowledge ad soud advice about what to do whe your child is missig, whom to cotact, ad how to best assist law eforcemet. The U.S. Departmet of Justice is committed to esurig that this importat work is readily available to every family that eeds it. We offer this Guide as a practical tool, but also as a visible sig of our cocer ad support for all families who are workig i partership with their commuities for their childre s safe retur. Eric H. Holder, Jr. Attorey Geeral

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9 U.S. Departmet of Justice Office of Justice Programs Office of the Assistat Attorey Geeral Washigto, D.C Message From Assistat Attorey Geeral Laurie O. Robiso As a paret, I caot imagie aythig more difficult tha ot kowig where your childre are or how they are beig treated. Every day across America, childre are abducted by family members ad acquaitaces, ad sometimes by stragers. Families traumatized by abductio are faced with the simultaeous challege of quickly marshalig all available resources to recover their missig child while dealig with the devastatio of their loss. Whe Your Child Is Missig: A Family Survival Guide was writte 12 years ago by parets who had experieced firsthad the trauma of a missig child ad who wated to help other parets facig the same overpowerig loss. To esure that the iformatio it provides is as helpful as possible, it has bee thoroughly revised ad updated. I look forward to the day whe we o loger have to search for missig childre. But util that day arrives, I hope that the Family Survival Guide will cotiue to assist families i their time of greatest eed. Laurie O. Robiso Assistat Attorey Geeral

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11 Foreword Each year, early 1.3 millio childre are reported missig. Although the uforesee absece of a child is always upsettig, fortuately most missig childre are retured home i a short period of time. This fact, however, provides little cosolatio for the parets of childre whose whereabouts ad welfare remai ukow. Twelve years ago, Whe Your Child Is Missig: A Family Survival Guide was writte by parets ad family members who had experieced the loss of a child. The Guide provides helpful advice for parets whose childre are missig ad also offers ecouragemet ad support. The icreased pervasiveess of olie media has led to the victimizatio of a greater umber of childre via the Iteret. It is importat for parets to be adequately iformed about the dagers their childre face olie. Accordigly, the Family Survival Guide has bee updated to iclude curret iformatio o ew techologies, particularly those that play a role i facilitatig Iteret crimes agaist childre. My heartfelt hope is that you ever face the devastatio of child abductio. For those who do, however, I hope that these pages prove to be of some assistace i helpig you to fid your way i such a difficult time. Jeff Slowikowski Actig Admiistrator Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio ix

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13 Ackowledgmets The Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio (OJJDP) is grateful to all of the people who gave their time, eergy, ad talet to developig this Guide, especially the followig parets who kow firsthad the pai, sufferig, ad hope of families with missig childre: Heather Cox ad Mario Boburka, mother ad gradmother, respectively, of Shelby Cox, who was foud murdered o November 18, Collee Nick, mother of Morga Nick, who has bee missig sice Jue 9, Claudie ad Do Ryce, parets of Jimmy Ryce, who was foud murdered o December 9, Patrick Sessios, father of Tiffay Sessios, who has bee missig sice February 9, Patty Wetterlig, mother of Jacob Wetterlig, who has bee missig sice October 22, This group of parets created this Guide as a labor of love ad as a message of hope ad ecouragemet for families whose childre are still missig. Their courage ad stregth are greatly admired. OJJDP also thaks the may professioals who have give their time ad effort to fid childre who are missig, who have worked to prevet childre from beig abducted, ad who have put together this Guide for families facig this crisis. This icludes Tom Weede, Nadia Tustall, ad Dave Peifer of Fox Valley Techical College ad Nacy McBride of the Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre. OJJDP also ackowledges ad thaks the may idividuals who paistakigly reviewed the Guide to make sure that it provides parets with the iformatio they so desperately eed durig these crises. Special thaks also go to Ro Laey, Director of OJJDP s Child Protectio Divisio, for his costat guidace, support, ad commitmet to missig childre ad their parets ad who ispired the creatio of this Guide. We especially wat to thak Claudie Ryce, the mother of Jimmy Ryce, who passed away i Her ogoig commitmet to ad compassio for protectig childre provided much stregth ad hope for families throughout the atio. She will be eterally missed. This Guide is dedicated to all the childre who are separated from their families. Our hope is that you always kow that the search will cotiue util you are foud. xi

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15 Table of Cotets Message From Attorey Geeral Eric H. Holder, Jr.... v Message From Assistat Attorey Geeral Laurie O. Robiso...vii Foreword... ix Ackowledgmets... xi Itroductio... 1 Checklist: What You Should Do Whe Your Child Is First Missig... 2 The AMBER Alert Pla... 4 Chapter 1: The Search... 5 Your Role i the Search: The First 48 Hours... 5 The Role of Law Eforcemet i the Search... 5 The Role of Voluteers i the Search... 7 After the First 48 Hours: The Log-Term Search... 8 The Role of Private Detectives ad Psychics i the Log-Term Search Key Poits Checklist: Gatherig Evidece i the First 48 Hours Chapter 2: Law Eforcemet Your Partership With Law Eforcemet Key Poits Checklist: Workig With Law Eforcemet Chapter 3: The Media Media Ivolvemet: The First 48 Hours Media Ivolvemet: After the First 48 Hours Key Poits Checklist: Coductig Iterviews With the Media Chapter 4: Photo ad Flier Distributio Photo ad Flier Distributio: The First 48 Hours Photo ad Flier Distributio: After the First 48 Hours Key Poits Checklist: Distributig Fliers xiii

16 Chapter 5: Voluteers Makig the Best Use of Voluteers Usig Utraied Voluteers i the Search Effort Usig Traied Voluteers i the Search Effort Key Poits Checklist: Workig With Voluteer Searchers Chapter 6: Rewards ad Doatios Moetary Rewards Moetary Doatios Key Poits Checklist: Selectig a Tiplie for Leads Chapter 7: Persoal ad Family Cosideratios Regaiig Your Emotioal ad Physical Stregth Metally Preparig for the Log Term Helpig Your Other Childre To Regai Their Physical ad Emotioal Stregth Helpig Exteded Family Members To Regai Their Physical ad Emotioal Stregth Key Poits Checklist: Figurig Out How To Pay Your Bills Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources Additioal Resources About the Paret Authors Idex xiv

17 Itroductio Whe your child is missig, your whole world seems to fall apart. You are bombarded by questios from frieds, eighbors, the police, ad the media ad forced to make decisios that you ever thought you would have to make. You feel desperate, cofused, isolated. You may feel that you have owhere to go for help or support. May parets who have faced similar crises have said that they wished they had a book to tell them where to tur whe their child was missig. They felt that they were left o their ow to figure out what to do. They loged for someoe to give them directio or to tell them where to go for help ad what eeds to be doe. They also wished they had kow what to expect ad how to respod. This Guide was writte by parets ad family members who have experieced the disappearace of a child. It cotais their combied advice cocerig what you ca expect whe your child is missig, what you ca do, ad where you ca go for help. It explais the role that various agecies ad orgaizatios play i the search for your missig child ad discusses some of the importat issues that you ad your family eed to cosider. The first checklist, What You Should Do Whe Your Child Is First Missig, summarizes the most critical steps that parets should take whe their child is first missig, icludig whom to call, what to do to preserve evidece, ad where to tur for help. The rest of the Guide is divided ito seve chapters, each of which is structured to allow you to fid the iformatio you eed quickly ad easily. Each chapter explais both the short- ad log-term issues ad cotais a checklist ad chapter summary for later referece. Chapter 1, The Search, focuses o the search for your child ad explais how you as a paret ca best participate i the search. Chapter 2, Law Eforcemet, describes your relatioship with law eforcemet ad offers tips that will help you work together effectively. Chapter 3, The Media, examies issues related to the media, icludig media packages, press cofereces, ad iterviews. Chapter 4, Photo ad Flier Distributio, offers suggestios for producig fliers about your child ad for maagig the photo ad flier distributio process. Chapter 5, Voluteers, focuses o the may uses of voluteers both traied ad utraied to help i the search ad to provide for the eeds of the family. Chapter 6, Rewards ad Doatios, discusses the use of rewards ad the maagemet of moetary doatios. Chapter 7, Persoal ad Family Cosideratios, emphasizes the eed to take care of yourself, your childre, ad members of your exteded family. A list of recommeded readigs ad a list of public ad private resources appear at the back of the Guide. It is importat to ote that there is o right or wrog way to respod to the disappearace of a child, or is there a right or wrog way to feel. The path you follow must be right for you. What makes sese for you will be based o your eeds, your experieces, ad your circumstaces. Our hope is that the Guide will help you to make iformed decisios about what you do ad how you go about it. You may fid that the iformatio i this Guide is overwhelmig right ow. If so, ask family members, frieds, or other support persos to read it for you. They ca help you take the steps eeded to help recover your missig child. Fially, as hard as it may seem, try to remai hopeful. Remember that hope is more tha a wish, helpig you to clear this hurdle. Hope is essetial to your survival. 1

18 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Checklist: What You Should Do Whe Your Child Is First Missig The first 48 hours followig the disappearace of a child are the most critical i terms of fidig ad returig that child safely home but they also ca be the most troublesome ad chaotic. Use this checklist durig those first hours to help you do everythig you ca to icrease the chaces of recoverig your child but if more tha 48 hours have passed sice your child disappeared, you should still try to ted to these items as quickly as possible. All of the actio steps described here are covered i greater detail later i the Guide to help you gai a better uderstadig of what you should be doig ad why. The First 24 Hours Immediately report your child as missig to your local law eforcemet agecy. Ask ivestigators to eter your child ito the Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter (NCIC) Missig Persos File. There is o waitig period for etry ito NCIC. Request that law eforcemet put out a Be O the Look Out (BOLO) bulleti. Ask them about ivolvig the Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio (FBI) i the search for your child. Ask your law eforcemet agecy about the AMBER Alert Pla (America s Missig: Broadcast Emergecy Respose). Through AMBER Alert, law eforcemet agecies ad broadcasters activate a urget bulleti i the most serious child abductio cases (see page 4 for more iformatio o the AMBER Alert Pla). Limit access to your home util law eforcemet arrives ad has collected possible evidece. Do ot touch or remove aythig from your child s room or from your home. Remember that clothig, sheets, persoal items, computers, ad eve trash may hold clues to the whereabouts of your child. The checklist i chapter 1 (Gatherig Evidece i the First 48 Hours) cotais detailed iformatio about securig your child s room ad computer ad preservig evidece. Ask for the ame ad telephoe umber of the law eforcemet ivestigator assiged to your case, ad keep this iformatio i a safe ad coveiet place ear the telephoe ad program it ito your cell phoe. Give law eforcemet ivestigators all the facts ad circumstaces related to the disappearace of your child, icludig what efforts have already bee made to search for your child. Write a detailed descriptio of the clothig wor by your child ad the persoal items he or she had at the time of the disappearace. Iclude i your descriptio ay persoal idetificatio marks, such as birthmarks, scars, tattoos, or maerisms, that may help i fidig your child. If possible, fid a picture of your child that shows these idetificatio marks ad give it to law eforcemet. See the chapter 1 checklist (Gatherig Evidece i the First 48 Hours) for more details. Make a list of frieds, acquaitaces, ad ayoe else who might have iformatio or clues about your child s whereabouts. Iclude telephoe umbers ad addresses, if possible. Tell your law e forcemet ivestigator about ayoe who moved i or out of the eighborhood withi the past year, ayoe whose iterest i or ivolvemet with the family chaged i recet moths, ad ayoe who appeared to be overly iterested i your child. Also list your child s Iteret iterests; favorite sites ad games; ad Iteret frieds from MySpace, Facebook, ad other social etworkig sites. Fid recet photographs of your child i both black ad white ad color. Sca electroically ad make copies of these pictures for your law eforcemet agecy, the media, your state missig childre s clearighouse, the Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre (NCMEC), ad other oprofit orgaizatios. Chapter 4 (Photo ad Flier Distributio) cotais suggestios o how to produce ad distribute fliers ad posters. Call NCMEC at 800 THE LOST ( ) to ask for help. Also, ask for the telephoe umbers of other oprofit orgaizatios that might be able to help. Look i the Additioal Resources sectio at the ed of this Guide to fid the telephoe umber of your state missig childre s clearighouse. The, call your clearighouse to fid out what resources ad services it ca provide i the search for your child. 2

19 I t r o d u c t i o Ask your law eforcemet agecy to orgaize a search for your child. Ask them about usig trackig or trailig dogs (preferably bloodhouds) i the search effort. Read chapters 1 (The Search) ad 5 (Voluteers) as you prepare for the search. Ask your law eforcemet agecy for help i cotactig the media. Chapter 3 (The Media) cotais advice o workig with the media. Desigate oe perso to aswer your telephoe. Keep a otebook or pad of paper by the telephoe so this perso ca jot dow ames, telephoe umbers, dates ad times of calls, ad other iformatio relatig to each call. Keep a otebook or pad of paper with you at all times to write dow your thoughts or questios ad record importat iformatio, such as ames, dates, or telephoe umbers. Take good care of yourself ad your family because your child eeds you to be strog. As hard as it may be, force yourself to get rest, eat ourishig food, ad talk to someoe about your tumultuous feeligs. Whe you ca, read chapter 7 (Persoal ad Family Cosideratios). The Secod 24 Hours Talk with your law eforcemet ivestigator about the steps that are beig take to fid your child. If your law eforcemet ivestigator does ot have a copy of Missig ad Abducted Childre: A Law Eforcemet Guide to Case Ivestigatio ad Program Maagemet, suggest that he or she call NCMEC at 800 THE LOST ( ) to obtai oe. Also, your law eforcemet ivestigator ca cotact the Crimes Agaist Childre Coordiator i the local FBI Field Office to obtai a copy of the FBI s Child Abductio Respose Pla. Expad your list of frieds, acquaitaces, exteded family members, yard workers, delivery persos, ad ayoe who may have see your child durig or followig the abductio. Look at persoal caledars, commuity evets caledars, ad ewspapers to see if there are ay clues as to who was i the viciity ad might be the abductor or a possible witess. Give this iformatio to law eforcemet. Save a copy of the local ewspaper. Expect that you will be asked to take a polygraph test, which is stadard procedure. Voluteer to take a polygraph right away. If you have ot doe so yet, read chapter 1 (The Search). Work with your NCMEC case maager to idetify locatios where your child s poster could be distributed. Whe the case is media ready, NCMEC seds posters to the geographic area where the child is believed to be located. If you have ot already read chapter 4 (Photo ad Flier Distributio), try to read it ow. Work with your law eforcemet agecy to schedule press releases ad media evets. If ecessary, ask someoe close to you to serve as your media spokesperso. Chapter 3 (The Media) provides tips o workig with the media. Talk to your law eforcemet agecy about the use of a reward. Whe you ca, read chapter 6 (Rewards ad Doatios). Report all extortio attempts to law eforcemet. Have a secod telephoe lie istalled with call forwardig. Get caller ID ad call waitig. Ask law eforcemet to istall a phoe i your home that ca be used to record calls. Get a cell phoe or pager so you ca be reached whe you are away from home. Take care of yourself. Do t be afraid to ask others to take care of your physical ad emotioal eeds ad those of your family. Read chapter 7 (Persoal ad Family Cosideratios) for specific suggestios. Cotact your place of employmet to see if coworkers are willig to help. Make a list of thigs that voluteers ca do for you ad your family. See chapter 5 (Voluteers) for ideas. Call your child s doctor ad detist ad ask for copies of medical records ad x rays. Give them to law eforcemet. Talk to your law eforcemet agecy about creatig a Web site to capture iformatio o leads. Desigate a screeed ad trusted voluteer to maage the Web site. 3

20 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e The AMBER Alert Pla What Is the AMBER Alert Pla? The AMBER Alert Pla is a tool that law eforcemet agecies ca use to safely recover abducted childre. It should be oe compoet of the law eforcemet agecy s broader child recovery pla. The AMBER Alert Pla is a volutary partership amog law eforcemet agecies, media outlets, ad trasportatio agecies. This partership focuses o the recovery of abducted childre by dissemiatig timely ad accurate iformatio about the child, the suspected abductor, ad the vehicle used i the commissio of the crime. Through AMBER Alert, law eforcemet agecies ad broadcasters activate a urget ews bulleti i the most serious child abductio cases. Broad casters use the Emergecy Alert System (EAS), formerly called the Emergecy Broadcast System, to air a descriptio of the missig child ad suspected abductor. Uder appropriate circumstaces, trasportatio authorities ca use chageable message sigs (CMS) to commuicate importat AMBER Alert iformatio to motorists. How Does the AMBER Alert Pla Work? Oce law eforcemet is otified about a abducted child, it first determies if the case meets the AMBER Alert Pla s criteria for triggerig a alert. The U.S. Departmet of Justice (DOJ) suggests that the followig criteria be met before a alert is activated: Law eforcemet believes a abductio has occurred. The child is 17 years old or youger. Law eforcemet believes the child is i immiet dager of serious bodily harm or death. Sufficiet descriptive iformatio about the victim ad the abductio exists to believe that a immediate AMBER Alert broadcast will help. The child s ame ad other critical iformatio, icludig the fact that the case is cosidered a child abductio, have bee etered ito the NCIC system. If these criteria are met, alert iformatio is put together ad set to media outlets desigated as primary statios uder EAS, which i tur sed the same iformatio to area radio, televisio, ad cable systems where it is broadcast to millios of listeers. Radio statios iterrupt programmig to aouce the alert ad televisio ad cable statios ru a crawl o the scree with a picture of the missig child. CMS ca also be used to display iformatio to motorists. I additio, citizes ca receive text messages of AMBER Alerts o their cell phoes. You ca sig up for this service at For more iformatio about the AMBER Alert Pla, visit DOJ s Web site at Is a AMBER Alert Issued for Every Missig Child? AMBER Alerts are issued by a law eforcemet agecy i cooperatio with the media if the circumstaces surroudig the child s disappearace meet local or state AMBER Alert criteria. If the circumstaces do ot meet the criteria, remember that the media ca still be called o to help i the recovery of your child. See chapter 3 (The Media). If we could have gotte the word out immediately whe Morga disappeared, I m certai she would be home with me today. With the AMBER Alert Pla... time is ow o the side of every paret ad child. Collee Nick 4

21 CHAPTER 1 The Search Not kowig where your child is or if he or she is okay is the hardest thig i the world to hadle. Collee Nick Whe a child is reported missig, emotios become raw, which ca hider the ability of parets to make ratioal decisios. Yet, the actios of parets ad of law eforcemet i the first 48 hours are critical to the safe recovery of a missig child. Kowig what you ca do, what others ca do, ad where to go for help will ot oly expedite the search ad recovery of your child, it also will help to ease the emotioal ad fiacial burde of the search. This chapter examies your role ad the role of others i the immediate search for your missig child ad discusses what steps should be take i the evet that your child does ot retur withi the first few days. Your Role i the Search: The First 48 Hours I the iitial stage of the search, devote your time to providig iformatio to ad aswerig questios from ivestigators. Oce you discover that your child is missig, you will desperately wat to help with the search. You may, i fact, woder how you possibly ca stad by ad let others look for your child. But the reality is that i most istaces, the best use of your eergy is ot o the physical search itself. Rather, you eed to provide iformatio to ad aswer questios from ivestigators ad to be at home i the evet your child calls or returs. The checklist Gatherig Evidece i the First 48 Hours idetifies the most crucial pieces of backgroud iformatio ad evidece that law eforcemet will eed i the search for your child. The Role of Law Eforcemet i the Search Whe a child has disappeared, most of the iitial searchig of the area where the child is believed to have bee last will be coordiated by law eforcemet either federal, state, or local, de pedig o the circumstaces of I remember sittig aroud our kitche table o the first ight our so was take whe the ivestigators asked me, Is there aybody who liked Jacob too much? Who gave him special attetio or presets? Who wated to take him places? I ever dreamed that a ice perso could have take our so or that the most commo lure is attetio ad affectio. Patty Wetterlig the disappearace. Law eforcemet eeds to direct the search effort i order to make sure that the search is coordiated ad performed properly ad that the evidece located durig the search ad at the crime scee is properly protected ad preserved. Usually, law eforcemet agecies ca quickly obtai the ecessary equipmet ad mobilize additioal persoel by brigig i outside forces. Because time is a critical factor i the search ad 5

22 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e recovery effort, equipmet ad staff should be requested at the begiig of the process. Your local agecy may request that trackig or trailig dogs, ifrared devices that locate heat give off from the body, or helicopters be delivered to the scee ad may request help from the Border Patrol, the Coast Guard, the Natioal Guard, other military persoel, or correctioal istitutio staff. May of these groups are already traied i search procedures, ad their established chai of commad makes the search ef fort more likely to be thorough, comprehesive, ad efficiet. I additio, the FBI maitais Field Offices that have Evidece Respose Teams that could be of assistace i cases of missig or abducted childre. Your local law eforcemet agecy may issue a AMBER Alert. Do ot hesitate to ask the agecy about the steps it will take to safely locate ad retur your child. I may commuities, law eforcemet agecies have a established child recovery pla, similar to a emergecy relief or disaster pla, to guide their search ad recovery efforts. Ask your law eforcemet agecy about its pla. Make sure the agecy has a copy of Missig ad Abducted Childre: A Law Eforcemet Guide to Case Ivestigatio ad Program Maagemet (published by NCMEC), which provides step-by-step istructios o how to respod to ad ivestigate missig childre cases ad details procedures for coductig ad maagig the search. Also, make sure that your law eforcemet agecy has a copy of the Child Abductio Respose Pla (published by the FBI ad available from local Crimes Agaist Childre Coordiators i FBI Field Offices), which emphasizes the techiques that are essetial i coductig abductio ivestigatios. Typically, your law eforcemet agecy will desigate oe or two persos to coordiate ad maage the search. Ask for the ame ad telephoe umber of your law eforcemet coordiator as soo as possible. Keep this iformatio where you ca fid it i a safe, coveiet place ad program it ito your cell phoe. Keep the lies of commui ca - tio ope betwee you ad your search coordiator. Do t be afraid to ask questios, make suggestios, or air differeces of opiio. Fid out what types of searches are plaed. Searches ca be coducted i several ways: A crime scee search of the areas where your child was last see. A door-to-door search (cavass). A Iteret techology equipmet search. A grid search. A lad, sea, or air search. A roadblock search, which may ivolve stoppig cars at the same time of day at the locatio where your child was last see. Because people are creatures of Telephoe Tips % If you do ot already have oe, buy a cell phoe or pager so you ca be reached whe you are away from home. This also allows you to keep your mai phoe lie ope. % % % Istall a phoe with the ability to record calls. Ask your telephoe compay to istall caller ID o your telephoe lie. Keep a phoe log, a pad of paper, or a spiral otebook ext to the phoe to record the date ad time of phoe calls, the ame of the caller, ad other iformatio. 6

23 T h e S e a r c h habit ad ted to take the same route each day, roadblock searches sometimes produce witesses who saw your child, who observed someoe hagig aroud the area, or who remember a out-of-place vehicle. Ask your search coordiator what types of searches are beig coducted, ad make sure you feel comfortable that the search effort is adequate. Records documetig which areas were searched, who was preset, ad what was foud will be kept. Law eforcemet will maitai a record showig what areas have bee searched ad by whom. A secod search of critical areas for iformatio ad clues might be advisable because somethig may have bee overlooked durig the iitial search. Trackig or trailig dogs, preferably bloodhouds, should be brought immediately to the scee where your child was last see. The fresher the trail, the more likely the dogs will be able to fid your child. Bloodhouds are your best bet because they have 60 times the trackig power of Germa shepherds, ca discrimiate amog scets, ad ca follow your child s scet i the air ad o the groud. This meas that they may be able to pick up your child s scet eve if he or she was carried i someoe s arms or i a vehicle. The Role of Voluteers i the Search If voluteers are used i the search, your law eforcemet agecy should still be resposible for maagig the overall search effort. The extet to which voluteers are used i the search will deped o whether additioal persoel beyod the military are eeded. A voluteer search coordiator may be eeded to orgaize the voluteer search effort. Try to recruit established orgaizatios, agecies, or groups rather tha idividual voluteers i the search. The use of affiliated groups makes it possible to quickly gather ad orgaize a large umber of voluteers. It also provides a ier chai of commad, which makes commuicatio ad traiig easier, ad provides a iteral screeig mechaism. Whe voluteers are used, request that the voluteer stagig area be located away from your home. There will be eough traffic, chaos, ad cofusio at your home without the added burde of voluteer search teams. All voluteer searchers should be required to sig i each time they participate i a search activity. The sig-i procedure ca be as simple as askig the voluteer searchers to show their driver s liceses ad to list i a log book their ames, addresses, ad orgaizatioal affiliatios, such as the Boy Scouts, local labor uio, place of busiess, or local post of the Veteras of Foreig Wars. Keep all records for future referece. A more elaborate sig-i procedure ivolves videotapig the sig-i ad search efforts. Although it is impossible to videotape every search from start to fiish, videotapes that show the searchers, the sig-i process, ad the search locatios ca provide valuable iformatio about possible clues ad suspects. Some situatios that seem iocet iitially, such as the repeated appearace of a overly cocered searcher, may ot be as iocet as they appear. Request that law eforcemet ru backgroud checks for prior crimial activity o persos voluteerig for the search. I previous cases, thieves, pedophiles, ad eve the missig child s abductor have bee kow to joi i a search. Backgroud checks ca prevet misguided people from voluteerig ad sometimes ca provide iformatio that helps law eforcemet coduct the search. 7

24 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Have your voluteer coordiator talk with law eforcemet to determie whether additioal equipmet or persoel are eeded. Cotact local busiesses, missig childre s orgaizatios, NCMEC, the Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, Ic. (AMECO), your state missig childre s clearighouse, or other agecies to obtai the ecessary supplies or tap ito a etwork of people. Further iformatio about resources that ca help with the search ca be obtaied by callig NCMEC. Established i 1984 as a private, oprofit orgaizatio, NCMEC serves as a clearighouse of iformatio o missig ad exploited childre. It also provides techical assistace to both citizes ad law eforcemet agecies, distributes photographs ad descriptios of missig childre atiowide, ad etworks with oprofit service providers ad state clearighouses o missig childre. NCMEC ca be cotacted at its headquarters i Virgiia or i oe of its ie brach offices i Califoria, Florida (two), Kasas, New York (three), South Carolia, ad Texas. After the First 48 Hours: The Log-Term Search Whe the search for a child becomes log term, ot all parets ca or will wat to be actively ivolved i the search. It is okay if you choose ot to be ivolved. But if you wat to remai active i the log-term search effort, there are a umber of thigs that you ad other family members, frieds, or voluteers ca do to aid i the process. The offer of true geuie support i the first few days will carry you through. Develop a pla ad set a schedule with goals for cotiuig the search for your child. Work with law eforcemet to figure out what role you ad others ca play i the log-term search. This Guide ca help, especially chapters 3 (The Media) ad 4 (Photo ad Flier Distributio). Schedule regular visits with your ivestigator. Set up a schedule for you ad your ivestigator to review the status of the ivestigatio ad to give each other updates. However, if you have ew, importat iformatio, make sure that you give it to law eforcemet as soo as possible. Ask your law eforcemet agecy about usig the services of Team Adam to assist with the ogoig ivestigatio (Team Adam is described o page 21). Mario Boburka Ask to see your child s case file periodically. You may recogize somethig meaigful that was overlooked or remember somethig sigificat that law eforcemet was ot aware of. Be aware that there may be pieces of iformatio that law eforcemet caot or does ot wat to release to you because it may jeopardize or hider the ivestigatio. This is okay. Some states do ot allow the release of police reports util a case is closed. Ask your search coordiator what iformatio ca be legally released to you or what you are allowed to see. Keep a spiral otebook with you to record your thoughts ad review it periodically. Whe you reread your otebook or joural, you may fid a passage that triggers a ew idea or remids you of somethig you had previously forgotte. Advise law eforcemet about ay ew thoughts you have about the disappearace of your child. Cosider offerig a reward for the safe retur of your child. Chapter 6 cotais specific iformatio o the reward offer. 8

25 T h e S e a r c h Fid out what Crime Stoppers ca do to help with the search. Crime Stoppers aswers telephoe calls 24 hours a day, kows how to take tip iformatio, promises aoymity to callers, ad maitais a good workig relatioship with law eforcemet. If you like, ask to atted oe of their meetigs. If they agree, their telephoe umber may be a good choice for calls about a reward, because NCMEC will ot provide reward iformatio o its toll-free lie. Iquire about other programs that ca be used for crime tips ad rewards. Talk with your law eforcemet agecy ad prosecutor s office to see if they kow of other local, state, regioal, or atioal programs that ca be used to report crime tips or offer rewards. Cotact NCMEC, the state missig childre s clearighouses i the 50 states, AMECO, ad other missig childre s orgaizatios across the coutry. Ask for assistace with distributio of posters ad fliers. Ask each agecy what types of services it has available to assist with the search. Addresses ad phoe umbers for the missig childre s clearighouses i the 50 states, the District of Columbia, Caada, Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgi Islads, ad the Netherlads are listed i the Additioal Resources sectio of this Guide. Some parets create a Web site to gather iformatio o potetial leads. Talk to your law eforcemet agecy about this ad ask for its iput regardig how to maage electroic leads. Use oly screeed ad trusted voluteers to maage the Web site. Keep commuity awareess of your plight at a high level. If your child has bee missig for several years, ask NCMEC to develop a age-progressed picture, the place this picture ext to the origial picture o shirts, buttos, ad posters. Chapter 4 cotais sample fliers you ca use as models for your Gettig Help From Political Figures The media ofte take special iterest i publicizig cases i which political figures are ivolved. You ca solicit help from school board members; city commissioers; your state Goveror, seators, ad represetatives; ad members of the U.S. House ad Seate. You ca also seek out those idividuals who ca get your child s poster displayed i the followig public places: O buses, o subways, ad at trasfer poits. I parks ad other recreatioal facilities. At tollbooths ad rest areas. I U.S. post offices. I state ad federal buildigs. 1 I mailigs to costituets. Be wary, however, of attempts by well meaig politicias to ivolve you i hastily writte legislative proposals that could i the log ru be detrimetal to the plight of your child ad others like him or her. Too ofte, legislative chage comes about as a reactio to a icidet, ot as a well plaed, proactive respose to a problem. Therefore, cosider carefully the potetial repercussios of ay legislative proposal before you become ivolved. 1 Authorized by Presidetial Executive memoradum o Jauary 19, This program requires federal agecies to receive ad post missig childre fliers i their buildigs. This program is coordiated by NCMEC. 9

26 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e ow fliers. Also, if there is ew iformatio about your child such as a sightig or a iterestig lead make sure that the public is kept iformed. But before you disclose ay iformatio, be sure to cosult with your law eforcemet cotact so the ivestigatio is ot compromised. Keep the media iterested ad ivolved. Chapter 3 cotais ideas for keepig the media iterested i your story. Make a list of thigs that others ca do to help. As log as you have specific tasks for voluteers to perform, they wo t go away. The Role of Private Detectives ad Psychics i the Log-Term Search Private Detectives If the immediate search is ot successful, you may be tempted to try almost aythig. Some parets tur to private detectives to aid i the search. Cosider hirig a private detective or ivestigator oly if you are coviced that he or she ca do somethig better or differet tha what is beig doe by law eforcemet. Be certai that you are ot simply wastig moey that could be spet more productively i aother way. If you decide to use a private detective, the followig tips ca help: Always ask for ad check refereces to fid out if the ivestigator is legitimate. Be wary of people who say they ca brig your child back immediately for a specific sum of moey. If you ru ito this situatio, report it to law eforcemet. Make sure you are payig a reasoable rate. Isist that the ivestigator itemize expeses. Make sure the detective has experiece workig with law eforcemet. Law eforcemet must be otified immed i- ately of ay leads you receive from a private ivestigator. Iform your assiged law eforcemet ivestigator about your decisio to hire a private ivestigator. I most istaces, this idividual will eed to talk to law eforcemet before becomig ivolved i the case. Psychics I was i tears as my husbad kept sedig our child s belogigs to psychics. We still have t gotte back his stuffed aimals. Keep a ope mid ad a closed pocketbook whe cosiderig the use of a psychic. Most parets are desperate to try aythig, but they eed to uderstad that there are very few true psychics. May are fraudulet or, at best, misguided idividuals who wat to help so much that they have self-iduced visios. Hearig their sometimes egative dreams ad visios ca cause udue stress, a loss of hope, or a ufouded sese of hope. If you are cosiderig turig to a psychic, remember the followig tips: Patty Wetterlig Ask someoe close to the family to record ay psychic leads because the iformatio is usually distressig. Give all such leads to law eforcemet. If ay lead is highly specific, such as a particular address, isist that law eforcemet check it out. Follow up with law eforcemet to fid out the value of the lead. 10

27 T h e S e a r c h Never allow a psychic to go ito your child s room uatteded or to take items without makig arragemets for their retur. Regardless of whether some psychics have true visios, ay purportedly psychic dream may be a actual observatio by someoe who is afraid to get ivolved. That is why eve psychic leads eed to be checked out wheever possible. Overzealous Idividuals Be prepared to ecouter a few people who are faatical or obsessive i their behavior or i their desire to help. Keep i mid that some people may try to use your loss to gai attetio for themselves. Protect yourself from people who might be delusioal or who may prey o victims through scams or by offerig false hopes ad expectatios. The key is to keep your focus ad exercise cautio. 11

28 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Key Poits 1. The actios of parets ad of law eforcemet i the first 48 hours are critical to the safe recovery of a missig child, but the rawess of emotio ca seriously hider the ability of parets to make ratioal decisios at this crucial time. 2. Your iitial role i the search is to provide iformatio to ad aswer questios from ivestigators ad to be at home i the evet your child calls or returs. 3. Most of the iitial searchig of the area where the child is believed to have bee last will be coordiated by law eforcemet either federal, state, or local, depedig o the circumstaces of the disappearace. 4. A importat aspect of law eforcemet s job is to preserve ad protect ay evidece gathered durig the search. 5. Keep the ame ad telephoe umber of your law eforcemet coordiator i a safe, coveiet place ad program it ito your cell phoe. Keep the lies of commuicatio ope betwee you ad your search coordiator by askig questios, makig suggestios, ad airig differeces of opiio. 6. Bloodhouds are the best choice for use i a search because they have 60 times the trackig power of Germa shepherds, ca discrimiate amog scets, ad ca follow your child s scet i the air as well as o the groud which meas that they may be able to follow your child s scet eve if he or she was carried i someoe s arms or i a vehicle. 7. Established groups rather tha idividual voluteers should be recruited for the search because they ca gather together a large cadre of people very quickly, they have a ier chai of commad that makes commuicatio ad traiig easier, ad they have a iteral screeig mechaism that will help esure voluteers soudess of character. 8. The voluteer stagig area should be located away from your home to protect your family from the accompayig traffic ad chaos. 9. All voluteer searchers reportig for duty should be required to show their driver s liceses ad to list i a log book their ames, addresses, ad orgaizatioal affiliatios. If possible, law eforcemet should ru backgroud checks o voluteers to guard agaist the ivolvemet of misguided idividuals. 12

29 T h e S e a r c h Key Poits (cotiued) 10. Not all parets ca or will wat to be actively ivolved i the log-term search for a child. If you wat to stay ivolved, develop a pla ad set up a timetable with goals for cotiuig the search for your child, ad set up a schedule of regular visits with your ivestigator to review the status of your child s case. 11. Keep the public aware of your plight by publicizig ay ew iformatio about your child such as a sightig or a iterestig lead. Also, if your child has bee missig for several years, ask NCMEC to develop a age-progressed picture, the place this picture ext to the origial picture o shirts, buttos, ad posters. 12. Reread your otebook or joural periodically i case you fid a passage that triggers a ew idea or remids you of somethig you had previously forgotte. 13. Cosider hirig a private detective oly if you are coviced that he or she ca do somethig better tha what is beig doe by law eforcemet. Always ask for ad check refereces to fid out if the ivestigator is legitimate, make sure the detective has experiece workig with law eforcemet, isist that all expeses be itemized, ad report to law eforcemet ay offers to brig your child back immediately for a specific sum of moey. 14. Be extremely cautious before you allow a psychic to become ivolved i your child s case. Give all psychic leads to law eforcemet for thorough ivestigatio. 13

30 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Checklist: Gatherig Evidece i the First 48 Hours Oe of the most critical aspects i the search for a missig child is the gatherig of evidece that may hold clues about a child s disappearace or whereabouts. The mishadlig of evidece ca adversely affect a ivestigatio. Similarly, the collectio ad preservatio of evidece are key to fidig a missig child. Parets play a vital role i fidig a missig child by providig critical iformatio to law eforcemet, by protectig evidece i ad aroud the home, ad by gatherig iformatio about persos or situatios that might hold clues. The followig are some tips o what you should do to help law eforcemet coduct a thorough ad complete ivestigatio. Secure your child s room. Eve though your child may have disappeared from outside the home, your child s room should be searched thoroughly by law eforcemet for clues ad evidece. Do t clea the child s room, wash your child s clothes, or pick up your house. Do t allow well-meaig family members or frieds to disturb aythig. Eve a trash bi or a computer may cotai clues that lead to the recovery of the child. Do ot touch or remove aythig from your child s room or from your home that might have your child s figerprits, DNA, or scet o it. This icludes your child s hairbrush, bed lies, wor clothig, pecil with bite marks, diary, or address book. With a good set of figerprits or a sample of DNA from hair, law eforcemet may be able to tell whether your child has bee i a particular car or house. With good scet material, trackig dogs may be able to fid your child. Do ot allow ayoe else to sleep i your child s bed, play with his or her toys or computer, or use his or her bedroom for ay purpose. Law eforcemet dispatch should advise you ot to disturb ay part of the house util a thorough search of the scee has bee coducted. Ivestigators should let you kow whe their search is complete. Be prepared to give ivestigators all the facts ad circumstaces related to the disappearace of your child. This icludes kowig where your child was last see, where your child ormally wet to play, what your child was wearig, ad what persoal possessios your child had with him or her. Describe i detail the clothig your child was wearig ad ay persoal items i the child s possessio at the time of the disappearace. Specify color, brad, ad size. If possible, have someoe obtai replicas of clothig, hats, purses, backpacks, or other items your child had or wore at the time of the disappearace. Give these articles to law eforcemet for them to release to the media ad to show to searchers. Make sure you mark these items as duplicates or replicas. Make a list of persoal idetificatio marks ad specific persoality traits. Describe birthmarks, scars, tattoos, missig teeth, eyeglasses, cotacts, speech patters, ad behavioral traits. If possible, fid photographs that show these uique features. If you have figerprits of your child or a DNA blood sample, also give these to law eforcemet. Gather together persoal items, such as baby teeth, old baseball caps, or old toothbrushes. These items may cotai hair or blood samples that may be useful as DNA evidece. Also look for pecils or toys that cotai impressios of your child s teeth. Thik about your child s behavior ad routie. Be prepared to discuss where your child played or hug out, what was the usual route take to ad from school, ad what other paths of travel might have bee take. Be specific about what your child did for recreatio, icludig playig outdoors, surfig the Iteret, video games, sports, ad other activities. Ask your child s teacher about ew frieds or chages i behavior. 14

31 T h e SM eea dr ci ah Try to remember ay chages i your child s routie or ay ew experieces. Look at persoal ad family caledars to see if they cotai clues as to your child s whereabouts or the idetity of the abductor. For example, durig the past year, did your child joi a soccer team, chage teams, or get a ew coach? Did your child start playig or hagig out i a differet area? Did your child keep a diary that might hold clues? Try to remember if your child metioed ay ew frieds, icludig those o Iteret social etworkig sites. Talk with your child s frieds ad teachers to see if they kow of ay ew frieds or other cotacts your child recetly made. Fid recet photographs of your child i both color ad black ad white, the have someoe make multiple copies of the photographs ad keep the origials i a safe place. Check your cameras for udeveloped film because the most recet photos of your child may be foud there. Ask family members ad frieds to do the same. Give law eforcemet multiple photos showig differet poses. Steer away from formal or posed photos that do ot look like your child. Beig careful ot to damage the photo, mark the back of each picture with your child s ame, address, date of birth, ad age whe the picture was take. Fid videotapes or movies of your child ad make copies. Also ask family members ad frieds if they have videotapes or movies of your child, perhaps at birthday parties, soccer games, ad so forth. Give law eforcemet copies that show your child s expressios ad maerisms. Make a list of family members, frieds, acquaitaces, coaches, teachers, ad other school staff. Write dow as may telephoe umbers ad addresses as you ca. Offer iformatio for prior i-laws ad relatives as well. Iclude o your list ayoe you feel might have somethig agaist you or your family or ayoe who may have a special iterest i your child. Make a list of everyoe who routiely comes to your home. Your list should iclude postal workers, meter readers, garbage collectors, repair persos, salespeople, pizza delivery persos, ad so forth. Make a list of ew, differet, or uusual people or circumstaces i ad aroud your home or school withi the past year. Thik about if you or ay of your eighbors had ay home remodelig or house repairs doe withi the past year. Were ay houses listed for sale i your eighborhood i the past year? Has there bee ay road costructio or buildig i the area? Have ay travelig carivals passed through the area? Ask your child s doctor ad detist for copies of the child s medical ad detal records ad x rays. Give copies of all medical ad detal records to law eforcemet for use i the ivestigatio. 15

32 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Notes 16

33 CHAPTER 2 Law Eforcemet To give your child the best chace of beig foud, you ad law eforcemet must treat oe aother as parters. Do Ryce Few parets have had experiece workig with law eforcemet agecies. Perhaps you have had cotact previously with law eforcemet as a result of a traffic ticket or a accidet. If so, you probably saw law eforcemet as the eforcer of rules that had bee broke ot as a lifelie. But whe your child is missig, you ad law eforcemet become parters pursuig a commo goal fidig your lost or abducted child. As parters, you eed to establish a relatioship that is based o mutual respect, trust, ad hoesty. As parters, however, you do ot have to agree o every detail. This chapter provides isight ito the relatioship you are eterig ito with law eforcemet what you ca expect from the ivestigatio, what types of questios you are likely to be asked, ad what situatios you ad your family are likely to ecouter i the process. Your Partership With Law Eforcemet Most people do ot believe that they will be victims of crime or that their childre will be victimized. But if a youg member of your family becomes a victim, you will likely woder what law eforcemet expects of you ad what you ca expect of law eforcemet. Uderstadig these expectatios will deepe your kowledge of law eforcemet s role, establish a soud basis Whe asked if it bothered me to take a lie detector test, I told the reporter, They ca electrocute me if it will brig my so back. for your relatioship with the agecies ad orgaizatios that are there to help, ad assist you i hadlig this all-too-sudde chage i circumstaces. Make sure law eforcemet uderstads that your child is i dager ad that his or her absece is likely to be ivolutary. If your child is 10 years old or youger, it will ot be hard to show that your child is i dager. However, if your child is older tha 10, it is importat to let law eforcemet kow that your child s absece is ot ormal behavior ad that you would be surprised if your child had disappeared volutarily. Ask your law eforcemet agecy if it uses the AMBER Alert Pla (America s Missig: Broadcast Emergecy Respose). The AMBER Alert Pla is a volutary partership betwee law eforcemet agecies ad broadcasters to activate a urget bulleti i the most serious child abductio cases (see page 4 for more iformatio o the AMBER Alert Pla). Check to see if ay moey, clothig (other tha what your child was wearig), or other persoal items are missig. If othig else is missig, be sure law eforcemet is aware of this. Claudie Ryce Let law eforcemet kow how your child is doig i school ad if your child has quarreled recetly with you or a fried. If you ca establish that there is othig to idicate that your child ra away, it will 17

34 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e expedite law eforcemet s classificatio of your child as abducted or edagered. Be hoest, complete, ad forthcomig i your statemets ad aswers to law eforcemet. Fully disclose all recet activities of ad coversatios with your child. What may seem isigificat to you may be importat to a ivestigator. Be prepared for hard, repetitious questios from ivestigators. As difficult as it may be, try ot to respod i a hostile maer to questios that seem persoal or offesive. The fact is that ivestigators must ask difficult ad sesitive questios if they are to do their jobs effectively. Do t feel guilty about relayig suspicios cocerig someoe you kow. It is ot ofte that a total strager takes a child. You may ot wat to believe that it is someoe that you kow, but keep a ope mid ad cosider all the possibilities. Above all else, trust your feeligs, isticts, ad gut reactios ad share them with law eforcemet so they ca be checked out. Do everythig possible to get you ad your family removed from the suspect list. As paiful as it may be, accept the fact that a large umber of childre are harmed by members of their ow families, ad therefore you ad your family will be cosidered suspects util you are cleared. To help law eforcemet move o to other suspects, voluteer early to take a polygraph test. Isist that both parets be tested at the same time by differet iterviewers, or oe after aother. This will help to deflect media speculatio that oe of you was ivolved i the disappearace. Isist that everyoe close to your child be iterviewed. Ecourage everyoe icludig family members, frieds, your child s boyfried or girlfried, eighbors, teachers, ad coaches to cooperate i the ivestigatory process. Although polygraph testig is volutary, refusal to take a polygraph ca cause law eforcemet to sped time tryig to elimiate a idividual from the suspect list through other meas ad, as a result, take valuable time away from fidig the real suspect. Leave the iterviewig of your other childre to law eforcemet. Do ot questio your childre yourself. Especially with youger childre, isist that a law eforcemet officer who is traied to iterview childre coduct the questioig. May law eforcemet agecies have a child abuse uit with officers who are specially traied to work with childre. You ca also ask to have a child advocate sit i o the iterview with your child. Child advocates are specially traied voluteers who provide assistace ad support to childre ivolved i the legal process. Child advocates are ormally housed i the district attorey s office, the court, or the law eforcemet agecy. Ask law eforcemet for iformatio about your local child advocate office. If your child is very youg, you may be asked to sit i o the iterview. Do t be alarmed, however, if law eforcemet prefers to iterview your childre aloe. Be prepared for costat law eforcemet presece i your home. For the protectio of you ad your family, a officer may be assiged to your home o a 24-hour basis. Although this presece may feel itrusive, welcome the officer, ad recogize that this perso is there to aswer calls ad take leads, protect you ad other members of your family from potetial harm, ad provide support. If your law eforcemet agecy is small, however, it may ot have the resources to place a officer i your home 24 hours a day. I those circumstaces, it is still reasoable for you to ask for added law eforcemet protectio i your home. Talk regularly with your primary law eforcemet cotact. The officer who respoded iitially to your call for help may 18

35 L a w E f o r c e m e t ot be your permaet family cotact. If there is a good chace that your child has ru away, for example, your primary law eforcemet cotact may work i the missig persos uit. If it is suspected that force was used to abduct your child, your case may be hadled by a detective from homicide. This does ot mea that your child is dead; homicide is typically where ivestigators are located. Fid out who your primary law eforcemet cotact is ad get his or her phoe, cell phoe, , ad pager iformatio. Make sure that you fid out the ame of the backup perso to call whe your primary law eforcemet cotact is ot available. Pick a time of day for your cotact to call you with iformatio. But realize that there will be days whe your ivestigator has othig to report. Also, desigate oe perso to serve as the primary law eforcemet cotact for the family. If your ivestigator is bombarded with telephoe calls from family members ad frieds, valuable time will be take away from the ivestigatio. Make sure ivestigators kow that you expect to hear about sigificat developmets i the case from them, ot from the media. The flip side of this is that you must hoor law eforcemet s request ot to disclose some pieces of iformatio to the media. Uderstad, however, that law eforcemet may ot be able to tell you everythig about the case because full disclosure might jeopardize the ivestigatio. It s okay if you ca t tell me aythig just do t lie to me. Pat Sessios Satisfy yourself that law eforcemet is hadlig your child s case properly. All of the agecies ivolved i the ivestigatio should be cooperatig with oe aother i pursuit of oe goal fidig your missig child ad gettig the predator off the street. The checklist Workig With Law Eforcemet lists the most importat steps that law eforcemet ca take to fid your missig child. The more you uderstad the ivestigatory process, the better able you will be to ask questios about it. However, you should be aware that most law eforcemet officers do ot have firsthad experiece workig o a missig child case. If your primary cotact caot aswer a questio, fid out who ca. Also, if you feel that your child s disappearace has bee classified iappropriately, ask to speak to the officer s supervisor or to someoe else who may have more experiece i these types of cases. Do t take o for a aswer if you feel strogly that somethig else eeds to be doe. Fially, lear about the services that are available from NCMEC, from your state missig childre s clearighouse, ad from the televisio show America s Most Wated. See the Additioal Resources sectio at the ed of this Guide for addresses, phoe umbers, ad brief descriptios of some of the services that are available to you. 19

36 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Key Poits 1. You ad law eforcemet are parters i pursuit of a commo goal fidig your lost or abducted child ad as parters, you eed to establish a relatioship that is based o mutual respect, trust, ad hoesty. 2. Most law eforcemet officers do ot have firsthad experiece workig o child abductio cases, so if you feel that your child s disappearace has bee classified iappropriately, speak to the officer s supervisor. 3. I the begiig of the ivestigatio, be prepared for extesive law eforcemet presece i your home. 4. Keep the telephoe ad beeper umbers of your primary law eforcemet cotact i a coveiet locatio, ad choose a time of day for that perso to call you with iformatio, realizig that there will be days whe your ivestigator has othig to report. Desigate oe perso i your family to talk to your cotact so ivestigators ca devote their time to the actual search. 5. Law eforcemet may ot be able to tell you everythig about your case because full disclosure could jeopardize the ivestigatio. 6. Be prepared for difficult, persoal, repeated questios from ivestigators. Aswer each questio as hoestly ad completely as you ca. 7. Do ot questio your childre yourself. Especially with youger childre, isist that a law eforcemet officer who is traied i iterviewig childre coduct the iterview. 8. Voluteer early to take a polygraph test, ad ask that both parets be tested at the same time by differet iterviewers, or oe after aother. 9. Because a abductor is ofte kow by the family, isist that ayoe close to the child be iterviewed. Share ay suspicios with law eforcemet so they ca be checked out. 10. Satisfy yourself that law eforcemet is hadlig your case properly. 20

37 L a w E f o r c e m e t Checklist: Workig With Law Eforcemet The followig checklist describes the most importat steps that law eforcemet ca take as the ivestigatio begis. Use this iformatio to deepe your uderstadig of the ivestigatory process. Discuss these steps with your assiged law eforcemet ivestigator, keepig i mid that the order of the steps is likely to vary, depedig upo idividual circumstaces. A BOLO (Be O the Look Out) bulleti ca be broadcast to local law eforcemet agecies to alert them to your missig child, ad a teletype ca be set locally or regioally. Ask your law eforcemet agecy if it uses the AMBER Alert Pla (America s Missig: Broadcast Emergecy Respose). Through AMBER Alert, law eforcemet agecies ad broadcasters activate a urget bulleti i the most serious child abductio cases (see page 4 for more iformatio o the AMBER Alert Pla). Your law eforcemet agecy is required by federal law to immediately eter your child s ame ito the Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter (NCIC) registry of missig persos. There is o waitig period for etry ito NCIC. If your law eforcemet agecy has ay questios about compliace with this requiremet, cotact NCMEC. NCMEC may be asked to deploy Team Adam at the request of law eforcemet. NCMEC seds traied, retired law eforcemet officers to the site of child abductios ivolvig potetial harm to the child ad ivolves these officers i cases of child sexual exploi tatio. These rapid-respose specialists, who work i full cooperatio with federal, state, ad local law eforcemet agecies, advise ad assist local ivestigators, provide access to NCMEC s extesive resources, ad assist the victim s family ad the media, as appropriate. These services are cost free. Your local FBI Field Office may be otified i case additioal services ad support are eeded. Your state missig childre s clearighouse will be otified ad additioal services may be requested. The crime scee the locatio outside your home where your child might have bee abducted ad your child s bedroom will be secured. The officers who respod iitially to your call will evaluate the cotets ad appearace of your child s bedroom ad will secure your child s used beddig, clothig, ad shoes ad place them i clea bags to be used as scet articles. Your child s toothbrush, hairbrush, ad other items that might cotai DNA evidece will be stored i a safe place, ad footprits i dust, mud, or sow will be protected to preserve the scet. You may be asked if persoal items are missig, ad the last persos kow to have see your child will be iterviewed. Trackig or trailig dogs or a helicopter equipped with a ifrared or a heat-sesitive device (to detect heat emitted from the body) may be requested after your residece, yard, ad surroudig areas have bee searched usuccessfully. Airlies, airports, bus ad taxicab compaies, subways, ferries, ad ports may be advised of the disappearace ad give posters of your missig child. Ivestigators may revisit various hot spots or checkpoits either at the same time of day or the same day of the week followig the disappearace to see if they ca fid ayoe who has see somethig or who recalls somethig uusual at the time your child disappeared. Your eighborhood watch should be cotacted to see if aythig suspicious was oticed. The daily log of parkig ad traffic tickets ad traffic stops will be checked to see if aythig relates to your child s disappearace. The covicted sex offeder registry will be checked to fid out if a potetial suspect was i the area. 21

38 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Local ewspapers should be collected ad reviewed to provide possible clues or leads for the search. Local or regioal evets ad activities such as carivals, couty fairs, festivals, sports evets, ad music cocerts ad wat ads for hired help may produce ames or clues regardig either the predator or a witess to the disappearace. A procedure for hadlig extortio attempts should be established. Neighborig jurisdictios should be cotacted to fid out if icidets of a similar ature have occurred there also. Use all available resources to aid with the search. Veteras orgaizatios, local reserve uits, scouts, ad others may be able to help i this process. Law eforcemet will eed your child s cell phoe iformatio, icludig phoe umber ad service provider. They will also eed ay computer usage iformatio that you (the paret) may have, such as social etworkig sites, passwords, text messages, blogs, Twitter posts, lists of frieds, etc. Law eforcemet will also eed iformatio about credit card availability ad your child s bak accouts. 22

39 L a w E f o r c e m e t Notes 23

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41 CHAPTER 3 The Media Oe shot o the eveig ews is worth 20,000 posters. Patrick Sessios The media ca be importat allies i the search for your missig child. But media iterest i your case may be either itese or lukewarm, depedig o the circumstaces surroudig the disappearace of your child ad the media s judgmet of what is ewsworthy. If you are subjected to itesive media coverage, welcome the attetio, eve though it may feel ucomfortable, because it is the fastest ad most importat way to distribute iformatio about ad pictures of your child. If you fid yourself feelig overwhelmed by the amout of attetio, ask law eforcemet to help you deal with the sudde barrage of re porters ad requests for iterviews. However, if the media do ot take a iterest i your case, there are a umber of thigs you ca do to get the media ivolved. This chapter offers suggestios for geeratig, maitaiig, ad maagig media ivolvemet. Media Ivolvemet: The First 48 Hours Durig the first 48 hours, you eed to do as much as you ca to geerate media iterest i the search for your child. The followig tips ca help. Cotact the media immediately. Media publicity is the best way to geerate leads from the public cocerig your child. I most cases, the media should be cotacted immediately because time is ot o your child s side. You ca ask law eforcemet to make the iitial The media are your best frieds. Use them, do t let them use you. calls to media outlets, but if this is ot doe withi the first hour, call ad give the iformatio to the assigmet editors yourself. Itese, early media coverage esures that people will be lookig for your child. Sometimes the coverage is so itese it causes a abductor to let the child go. Ask radio ad televisio statios to ru short clips about the disappearace or to break ito their regular programmig with iformatio, as is doe with a weather warig or other emergecy broadcast. Do t wait util the eveig ews to have iformatio dissemiated about your child. Time is of the essece. Although televisio coverage is crucial i gettig out pictures ad stories of your child, do t igore other types of media. Prit ad radio media reach tes of thousads of homes each day, ad they may be more geerous i their treatmet of your story. May people are likely to hear about your child s disappearace first o their car radios. Supplemet those broadcasts with stories ad pictures of your child i the earliest possible editio of your local ewspaper. Law eforcemet may eed to be coviced that the media are importat allies i a missig child case. Sometimes law eforcemet is reluctat to get the media ivolved i a active crimial ivestigatio. If your law eforcemet agecy is reluctat, you will have to work closely with your primary cotact. Poit out that swift use of the media has led to the successful recovery Claudie Ryce 25

42 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e of more tha oe missig child ad that your child s safety ad recovery are more importat tha buildig a case agaist a suspect. Emphasize that you are goig to be aroud for iterrogatio as weeks pass, but your child s life is i immiet jeopardy. Ask if certai iformatio should ot be released because it might jeopardize the case or the safety of your child ad hoor that request. As a last resort, ask NCMEC, your state missig childre s clearighouse, ad missig childre s orgaizatios to assist i the evet that your law eforcemet agecy does ot wat to ivolve the media. Prepare a media package ad give it to all represetatives of the media. The media package should iclude basic iformatio about your child, icludig: A complete descriptio of your child ad of the clothig he or she was wearig at the time of the disappearace. A descriptio of the place where your child was last see. Curret black-ad-white, digitized, ad color photos. A phoe umber for people to call with possible leads. Details of the reward, if oe is beig offered. Other pertiet iformatio that could help i the recovery of your child, such as a suspicious vehicle ear the locatio where your child was last see. Iformatio about ay Web sites that are beig used to aid i the recovery of your child. A media package will esure that all reporters start with the same iformatio ad will re duce the amout of time you sped aswerig Settig Groud Rules I the very begiig, media iterest is likely to be both itese ad itimidatig. Therefore, it s importat for you to establish groud rules as to where ad how ofte you or your spokesperso will meet with the media. The followig tips ca help. 26 Schedule specific times ad locatios so reporters kow whe ad where they will be able to ask questios ad obtai iformatio. Remember that you cotrol the situatio the media do ot cotrol you. Choose a locatio that is coveiet for you but that allows the media the space they eed to cover the story. For example, you may feel most comfortable holdig iterviews either outside your house or iside oe room. That way, you ca allow the media to glimpse your child s persoal life without lettig them become too ivasive. Do t ope up your home to the media without restrictios or limitatios. If you do, you will lose all privacy, ad the presece of reporters could iterfere with officers workig at the scee. Do t feel that you are persoally obligated to provide all iterviews or to participate i all media evets. Ask law eforcemet, your family spokesperso, ad other family members to help. Remember that you have the ability to set limits i terms of timig, schedulig, ad makig rules cocerig the use of pictures of your other childre. Be sure that the media are aware of your rules ad that you expect them to be followed. If a press coferece is scheduled, stick to the message that you wat to deliver. You do t have to aswer every questio. Repeat what you wat people to hear o matter what questios are asked.

43 T h e M e d i a basic questios. Whe you prepare a media package, make eough copies to distribute, the keep the origial i a safe place i case you eed it agai i the future. Select someoe to fuctio as a media spokesperso if you feel you are ot able to speak aloe. Audieces idetify with the fear ad aguish parets feel whe their child is missig. Seeig your face ad hearig your voice will motivate viewers to look closer at the picture of your child ad to search harder for him or her. Therefore, it is best if you ca speak o your child s behalf. However, do t feel you eed to be a great speaker. Just talk from your heart ad let people kow you love your child ad eed their help i fidig ad brigig your child home. Bolster your cofidece by havig someoe you kow stad beside you to provide support ad step i if ecessary. O the other had, if you or your spouse feel uable to deal with the media, choose someoe you trust to speak for you, ad try to stad beside your spokesperso durig the iterview. The checklist Coductig Iterviews With the Media gives more specific tips o iterviews with both prit ad broadcast jouralists. Schedule press cofereces ad iterviews aroud media deadlies. The media operate o deadlies. If you schedule a press coferece either too early or too late i the day, reporters will fid it difficult to fiish their pieces i time to meet their daily deadlies. Cosult with reporters to fid out whe ad how ofte they would like to meet with you. May parets have foud 10 a.m. ad 3 p.m. to be good times because they give reporters eough time to prepare stories for both the oo ad eveig ews ad because may reporters have opeigs i their schedule at these times. Try ot to tur dow iterviews. Stay calm, collected, ad focused. Prepare your thoughts ad ideas before you get ito a iterview. Do ot schedule draiig iterviews or speeches back to back. Realize that you have limited metal ad physical resources ad that if you are ot fresh, you will ot be effective. If you have a opportuity to appear o a popular radio or televisio show or o a atioal etwork, give this egagemet priority over others. However, remember that local televisio ad radio statios will be i your commuity after the etworks leave, so work to develop a log-term relatioship with them. Sometimes you ca ask local statios to reru portios of a iterview you did with the atioal affiliate. Avoid schedulig press cofereces that coflict with a importat evet. If you wat to make a importat aoucemet, such as a reward offer, make sure you are t competig with aother scheduled evet. Fid out what evets are listed i the day book ofte kept by Associated Press which is used by local media to keep track of ewsworthy occurreces. Set your press coferece for a time whe othig else sigificat is happeig. Do Ryce Ask NCMEC or law eforcemet to cotact America s Most Wated o your behalf. The staff of this televisio program, which broadcasts atioally, have a special iterest i helpig to recover abducted childre. America s Most Wated ca be reached by callig 800 CRIMETV ( ). Be aware of your public status. Although this is ot the kid of fame you wat, you may attai some sort of celebrity stadig because of your cotiuous ivolvemet with the media. This sudde public status ca be very itrusive. People will recogize ad approach you wherever you go. The media may tur up at ay time ad ay place, askig for iformatio. You may be filmed ay time 27

44 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e you are i a public place ad eve through the widows of your ow home, if the photographer uses a powerful les. Therefore, for your child s sake, coduct yourself as if all eyes were upo you. Realize that you o loger have the same privacy you oce had. Try ot to be paraoid, but be careful. Do t do thigs that might cast you i a egative light, but do t feel guilty if you go out to dier or to the movies to relieve the stress as the days ad weeks pass. Review all media stories, commets, ad tapes. Parets, family members, ad frieds should review all media spots ad evets i case they cotai clues or pieces of iformatio that could help you at a later date. For example, commets by particular idividuals, multiple appearaces by oe idividual, or kowledge of persoal or cofidetial iformatio ot previously revealed may help to pipoit either the perpetrator or persos close to the perpetrator. Oce a reporter made some icredibly isesitive commets about our missig child i frot of his sibligs. We resolved their hurt ad ager by talkig the situatio over i a family meetig ad decidig how to deal with such questios i the future. If media iterest dies dow, you will have to work to keep the story goig. Here are some thigs you ca do to keep your child s story i the public eye. Devise media hooks to keep your child s story i frot of the public. Schedule a press coferece o a importat day, such as Natioal Missig Childre s Day (May 25), or prepare a press release to coicide with federal or state legislatio relatig to missig, exploited, or victimized childre. Remember, you do t kow how log you Patty Wetterlig will have to search for your child, so you eed to pla for the log term. Ask a family member or fried to help if you fid the task too difficult. Give the story a ew slat. To give the story a ew look, you may wat to chage the toe of your iterviews. Try brigig i someoe ew to discuss the case, such as a politicia, sports persoality, popular etertaier, or someoe close to the ivestigatio. 28 If your child is retured, do t let him or her review ay tapes of the suspect. This may jeopardize idetificatio of the suspect by your child whe a lieup is scheduled by law eforcemet. Media Ivolvemet: After the First 48 Hours At first, you may feel overwhelmed by the itese media iterest geerated by your child s disappearace. After a week or so, however, if your child has ot bee foud, you may ru ito the opposite problem. Pace yourself. Parcel out ew developmets i the case i separate aoucemets to spread coverage over a loger period of time. Ask law eforcemet to otify the press of sigificat developmets, such as importat leads or items foud durig the physical search. Keep the story alive by tyig it to a variety of evets ad activities. You ca hold a cadlelight vigil, aouce a reward, or show how celebratios such as a birthday, holiday, or graduatio are differet without your child. You ca tie your child s story to somethig that will be broadcast repeatedly, such as a popular sog o the radio. The, every time the sog plays, it will be a re mider that your child is still missig. If you ca create a way for the media to preset your child s story i a differet way, it is more likely to be ru. Remember that media attetio i creases whe you

45 T h e M e d i a Victim s Bill of Rights Appearig o air, whether televisio or radio, is a ew experiece for most people. The axiety produced by this ew experiece, combied with the trauma of the iitial victimizatio ad the retellig of it, uderscores the eed for paret victims to maitai cotrol over the situatio. The followig guidelies were writte by the Natioal Ceter for Victims of Crime to miimize the possibility of a secod victimizatio iflicted by the mishadlig of a story by the media. You have the right to say o to a iterview. You have the right to select the spokesperso or advocate of your choice. You have the right to select the time ad locatio for media iterviews. You have the right to request a specific reporter. You have the right to refuse a iterview with a specific reporter eve though you have grated iterviews to other reporters. You have the right to say o to a iterview eve though you have previously grated iterviews. You have the right to release a writte statemet through a spokesperso i lieu of a iterview. You have the right to exclude childre from iterviews. You have the right to refrai from aswerig ay questios that make you ucomfortable or that seem iappropriate. You have the right to kow i advace what directio the story about your victimizatio is goig to take. You have the right to ask for review of your quotatios i a storylie prior to publicatio. You have the right to avoid a press coferece atmosphere ad to speak to oly oe reporter at a time. You have the right to demad a retractio whe iaccurate iformatio is reported. You have the right to ask that offesive photographs or visuals be omitted from airig or publicatio. You have the right to coduct a televisio iterview usig a silhouette or a ewspaper iterview without havig your photograph take. You have the right to completely give your side of the story related to your victimizatio. You have the right to refrai from aswerig reporters questios durig trial. You have the right to file a formal complait agaist a reporter. You have the right to grieve i privacy. You have the right to suggest traiig for the media o how they ca prevet additioal traumatizatio for victims. You have the right to be treated with digity ad respect by the media at all times. Reprited with permissio from the Natioal Ceter for Victims of Crime, 2000 M Street NW., Suite 480, Washigto, DC 20036, 29

46 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e hold special evets ad whe aiversaries come up. Also, remember to coordiate all evets ad activities with law eforcemet because they ca be a importat part of the overall ivestigative strategy. Develop rapport with someoe i radio, televisio, ad prit. If a reporter or editor takes a special iterest i your story, that perso ca help you devise ways to get your child s story back i the spotlight. Keep a list of ames, telephoe ad fax umbers, addresses, ad persoal ad professioal iterests. Although reporters ofte chage statios, ewspapers, ad cities, remember that they ca take a story with them wherever they go. Idetify the assigmet editors for each ews orgaizatio, ad sed your press releases to their attetio. Assigmet editors are the oes who decide which evets to cover ad whom to assig as reporters. If you pla a evet, let the ews orgaizatio kow what is happeig by ig or faxig a ews release. Give the facts of the case, alog with a ews slat. Cosider gratig exclusive iterviews. I the begiig, you probably will ot wat to grat a exclusive iterview because iterest will be high ad you will wat the broadest coverage possible. Also, gratig a exclusive iterview to oe ews orgaizatio over aother may offed the oe that you leave out. Later, however, a exclusive iterview may be appropriate, such as to oe statio that has developed a story idepedetly or to a atioal media group such as ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, or NBC. I some cases, a exclusive iterview may be the oly way to get a particular aspect of your story out. Use the media to appeal for special help. The media ca be a very effective tool i askig for help. If you eed voluteers, traiig, pritig, or equipmet that is prohibitively expesive or ot readily available, ask the media to broadcast your request. Give a wish list to local radio statios because they i particular are ofte willig to publicize such appeals as a public service or iterest report. Not oly ca this provide you with the help you eed, but it ca be yet aother hook to remid the public to keep lookig for your child. If possible, obtai the help of a media expert. Sometimes professioals workig i the field of public relatios doate their services to parets. Because these professioals are very savvy i their dealigs with the media, they ca be a tremedous help. 30

47 T h e M e d i a Public Awareess Evets Media attetio geerates leads ad keeps your story i frot of the public. The followig ideas are also excellet ways to ivolve voluteers i the search campaig. Appear o radio ad televisio programs to discuss your child s disappearace. Hold a press coferece or other media evet o your child s birthday or o the aiversary of the disappearace. Prepare press releases or make persoal statemets about the disappearace of a child i aother commuity. Prepare press releases relatig to federal, state, or local legislatio. Publish a letter to your child i your local ewspaper. Ask radio statios throughout your state to play your child s favorite sog ad dedicate it to your child. Hold a rally at your child s school with music ad prayers. Ask your child s school to orgaize a letter writig campaig to politicias, the media, or your state legislature. Orgaize studet marches to distribute fliers or posters. Develop buttos or T shirts with your child s picture ad a special message to your child. Hold a prayer vigil. Hold a cadlelight vigil. Orgaize a dace or a beefit auctio. Give a special award to the law eforcemet officer who served as your primary law eforcemet cotact. Ask sports teams i your area to iclude pictures of your child i their programs ad to make public service aoucemets at all games. Plat a tree or dedicate a garde i your child s ame. Release helium filled balloos with your child s ame ad other relevat iformatio prited o them. Hold bowlig touramets. Hold ruig, dace, or other types of marathos. Ask local busiesses or baks to dedicate a Christmas tree or a display of lights i hoor of your child. May local resources ca help raise public awareess. Motorcycle clubs, civic orgaizatios, scouts, ad others have bee geerous i providig support ad assistace to families of missig childre. 31

48 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Key Poits 1. The media should be cotacted immediately after your child s disappearace either by you or by law eforcemet because media publicity is the best way to geerate leads from the public. Time is of the essece. 2. If your law eforcemet agecy is reluctat to ivolve the media i a active crimial ivestigatio, work closely with your primary cotact to covice the agecy that media attetio has led to the successful recovery of more tha oe missig child. 3. Prepare a package to give to all represetatives of the media that icludes a complete descriptio of your child ad of the clothig he or she was wearig at the time of the disappearace, a descriptio of the place where your child was last see, a phoe umber for people to call with leads, details of the reward (if oe is beig offered), ad curret black-ad-white, digitized, ad color photos. 4. Your pleas for help will be most effective if you persoally speak to the media o your child s behalf, but if you caot do that, ask someoe you trust to stad beside you ad step i if ecessary or to be your spokesperso. 5. Schedule iterviews ad press cofereces aroud media deadlies, ad cosult the Associated Press day book to help you avoid schedulig press cofereces that coflict with a importat ews evet. 6. Devise media hooks, such as cadlelight vigils or birthday celebratios, to keep your child s story i frot of the public. Parcel out ew developmets i the case i separate aoucemets to spread coverage over a loger period of time. 7. The media, especially local radio statios, ca be a effective tool i askig for help. 8. Be aware that you have become a public perso ad that the media may tur up at ay time ad ay place to ask questios or to capture your activities o film. Although beig i the spotlight might feel itrusive, such attetio meas that people are iterested i learig more about your case. 9. If you suspect that your child has bee abducted, ask NCMEC or law eforcemet to cotact America s Most Wated o your behalf. 10. If your child is retured, do t jeopardize idetificatio of the perpetrator by allowig your child to review tapes of the suspect. 32

49 T h e M e d i a Checklist: Coductig Iterviews With the Media The most successful media iterviews happe because of advace plaig. If you kow beforehad what poits you wat to get across, you are more likely to have a positive experiece with the media. The followig tips ca help. Articulate the most crucial iformatio i every iterview. Before you set up a iterview, be sure you are ready. Be prepared to discuss iformatio pertiet to the case but be sure that law eforcemet has bee cosulted about what iformatio ca be released ad what should remai cofidetial. Give essetial iformatio cosistetly to everyoe i the media, especially the followig items: Curret pictures ad videos of your child, i black ad white, color, ad digitized, if possible. A descriptio of the clothig your child was wearig ad of the items your child had i his or her possessio, such as a book bag, backpack, or bicycle, alog with idetifyig characteristics ad persoal traits. A telephoe umber for people to call i leads. Ask that your child s picture be icluded i every iterview you grat. This is crucial because ofte the oly thig that is clearly kow is what your child looks like. Make sure that the picture give to the media resembles your child accurately ad is suitable for distributio. Always hold up a picture of your child durig a iterview ad isist that his or her face be show as part of the story. Ask radio statios to iclude a descriptio of your child as part of their story. Limit the umber of poits you wat to make ad keep them simple. Orgaize your thoughts ad ideas, perhaps by writig them dow, before you speak to a iterviewer. Stay as calm ad focused as you ca. Remember that you will be give a very small amout of air time. That meas that the more you say, the less cotrol you will have over what portio of a iterview the media will play. Try to cover the most importat poits first ad to cotai your aswers to 10- to 20-secod soud bites. Short aswers are more likely to be used tha log, draw-out aswers. Also, if you try to cover too much, you may fid that your most importat poits are left out of the story. Remember, you do t have to aswer all of the questios. You ca repeat your mai poits over ad over agai. Make your child real by sharig stories that show his or her wit, iterests, ad other edearig qualities. If you persoalize your plea by showig favorite toys, tellig short aecdotes, ad airig represetative videotapes of your child, people are more apt to liste ad remember ad to feel they have a reaso to care about your plight. However, do t loa ay origial items to the media because you may ot get them back. Always label your child s pictures, videos, ad possessios. Keep cotrol of the story. Be prepared to field difficult questios. Although may reporters have families ad will empathize with you, their job is to give the public a iterestig story. Some may appear to be skeptical of you at least iitially because of well-publicized disappearaces i which the parets tured out to be the culprits. Regardless of the questios asked, keep the story focused o your missig child. If a reporter digs a skeleto out of your closet, do t be afraid to say that a previous evet has othig to do with the preset disappearace. You may eed to poit out that members of the same family ca be totally differet i terms of behavior, academic performace, ad emotioal maturity. Be patiet with reporters because may of them may be youg ad iexperieced. It is difficult for someoe who is ot yet a paret to imagie what you are goig through. If you are asked a iappropriate questio, do t aswer it ad do t explai why. 33

50 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Do ot lie to the media. If you are caught i a lie, reporters will ever trust you agai. But remember that you do t have to aswer every questio. The oly reaso you are givig a iterview is to fid your child. You do t have ay obligatio to help the media carry a story i a directio you do t wat it to go. If you believe a questio is isesitive or irrelevat, either say so ad declie to aswer or else give the iformatio you wat to preset regardless of the questio that was asked. Take cotrol of the situatio. Make the poits you have to make ad isist o gettig your message across. Do ot disclose iformatio to the media that your law eforcemet cotact has told you to keep cofidetial. Cosult with your law eforcemet agecy i advace to fid out what iformatio ca be released ad what iformatio should remai private. Remember that there is o off the record commet. If reporters wat cofidetial iformatio, they will try to get it. Cosider holdig joit press cofereces with law eforcemet as a way to keep iformatio flowig to the media yet protect cofidetial details. Never publicly criticize law eforcemet. Sometimes reporters ask questios iteded to create cotroversy over law eforcemet s hadlig of a case. Resist the temptatio to criticize law eforcemet, however, eve if you are uhappy with somethig that has bee doe. You wat the story to be about your child, ot about a cotroversy with law eforcemet. You also do t wat to risk alieatig the people who are spearheadig the effort to fid your child. Istead, chael ay complaits you have through the appropriate law eforcemet perso or office. 34

51 T h e M e d i a Notes 35

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53 CHAPTER 4 Photo ad Flier Distributio The more people who kow that your child is i dager ad what your child looks like, the better the chaces are that someoe will recogize your child ad report his or her whereabouts. Claudie Ryce Distributig pictures of ad iformatio about your missig child is a essetial part of the search ad recovery process. Durig the first 48 hours, it is critical that recet pictures of your child ad facts pertiet to the disappearace be give to law eforcemet, the ews media, ad oprofit orgaizatios ad agecies. Physical traits ad persoality characteristics should also be described as specifically as possible. This chapter cotais importat tips about photo ad flier distributio ad ca guide you through both the short- ad log-term process. Photo ad Flier Distributio: The First 48 Hours Search for the most recet pictures. Do t look for pictures i your scrapbook. If you have a camera that uses film, see if there is udeveloped film i it; if so, take it to be developed. Ask family members ad frieds if they have recet pictures or videos of your child from a birthday party, holiday celebratio, sports evet, or school outig. Almost always, your child s school will have a copy of the latest school picture or will be able to tell you the ame ad telephoe umber of the school photographer. Eve a passport picture, school idetificatio card, or driver s licese is better tha othig. Pick out pictures that most resemble your child. Remember that posters ad fliers will show oly the head, eck, ad top of the shoulders. Cadid shots are fie, as log as the facial image is clear. Several pictures from differet agles may give people a better idea of what your child looks like. Whe selectig photos, keep the purpose i mid to eable people to recogize your child, ot admire a poster that flatters but does ot look like your child. For examples of fliers, a sample template, ad other items that ca be distributed, see the collage o pages Videos or home movies are excellet choices for airig o televisio. Videos capture your child s appearace, maerisms, ad voice quality. They offer the added advatage of egagig the hearts of viewers, who ca relate to the image o the scree as a live persoality. Such viewers are more likely to be o the lookout for your child or eve to voluteer to help i the search effort. Ask someoe to have copies made of the pictures ad videos you select. Photographs ca be scaed ad copies made quickly at most busiesses that make prits of photos. Some busiesses may give you a discout rate if you give them your child s case umber showig that you have reported your child as missig to the police. Put all photo origials ad egatives i a safe place ad make copies. Never give away your oly copy of a picture, uless you do t care if you get it back. If the picture was take by a professioal photographer, you may eed to get permissio to have the picture reproduced. Uder most circumstaces, professioal photographers will be glad to help by givig permissio to reproduce a picture oce you explai your situatio. Some may eve reproduce the pictures for you free of charge, so do t be afraid to ask. At the same time, if possible, have the pictures digitized ad store 37

54 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Nofamily Abductio Sample Name of Child Child s Photo Child s Photo Differet agle (Date of Photo) (Date of Photo) Date Missig: Missig From: Birth: Sex: Height: Hair: ID Ifo: Circum: Age Now: Age Disap: Race: Weight: Eyes: Ayoe Havig Iformatio Should Cotact The Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre Or Local Police Departmet Iformatio Note: A missig child must be registered with the Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre before addig the orgaizatio s ame ad telephoe umber to this flier. Source: Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre. 38

55 P h o t o a d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o 39

56 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e them o your computer so they ca be used to sed the picture by to oprofit orgaizatios across the coutry that have access to the Iteret. Put someoe persuasive i charge of photo distributio. Ask your photo distributio coordiator to keep a log showig who was give a picture or videotape, the to follow up to make sure that the photographs were distributed. I additio to local media outlets, local civic ad busiess groups, ad voluteer groups, copies of your child s photograph ca be set to local govermet agecies. Permissio ca be obtaied from couty commissioers, agecy officers, or whoever has authority to post your child s fliers i buses, at bus ad subway stops, i tollbooths, at rest stops, ad i federal ad state parks ad buildigs. 1 Get as may idividuals ad orgaizatios as possible to distribute your child s picture. Start with your eighbors ad frieds. The call NCMEC, your state missig childre s clearighouse, ad private, oprofit missig childre s orgaizatios i your state ad surroudig states, evetually blaketig the coutry. Cotact AMECO (www.amecoic.org) for the ames of oprofit missig childre s orgaizatios i your regio. Ask them to distribute your child s picture through their etworks ad to display it o their Iteret site. Make use of today s high-speed commuicatio liks to distribute your child s picture throughout the coutry. Private busiesses throughout our state doated large color reward posters, labels showig our so s face, a toll-free umber for people to call if they had see our so, mailig evelopes, ad more tha $9,000 i postage so we could sed 25 reward posters to every U.S. Cogressperso ad every state Goveror, with a special plea askig them to put up posters of our so i a heavily trafficked area of their home commuities. If you are ot hooked up to the Iteret, cotact someoe who is. The Iteret allows you to trasmit clearer pictures of your child more quickly ad less expesively tha you could by fax. First, you must have your child s picture scaed ad digitized that is, put o a computer disk. A prit or computer shop ca provide this service to you. Next, call idividual orgaizatios to obtai their addresses. Now, you ca simultaeously sed your child s digitized photo by to a wide variety of orgaizatios. Claudie Ryce Ask your photo distributio coordiator to fid out where your child s picture has bee posted. Check the Iteret sites of NCMEC, your state missig childre s clearighouse, local media Web sites, ad private missig childre s orgaizatios to fid out where your child s picture has bee distributed. Expad the area of distributio to cover the etire coutry durig the secod 24-hour period by icludig the U.S. Customs Service, Border Patrol, ad Coast Guard. Plug ito NCMEC s photo distributio serv ices. NCMEC posts photos of missig childre o its Web site (www.missigkids.com). O average, 127,901 visits are made o the site each day, ad may compaies ad agecies have liks to this site. I additio, NCMEC ca coordiate atioal media exposure through its partership with major ewspapers, magazies, televisio etworks, ad corporatios. 1 By Executive memoradum, NCMEC distributes fliers of missig childre to federal agecies for postig i their buildigs. 40

57 P h o t o a d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o Ask your primary law eforcemet cotact to request that NCMEC sed a broadcast fax to its etwork of law eforcemet agecies. NCMEC has the capability to broadcast fax posters ad other case-related iformatio to more tha 26,000 law eforcemet agecies, FBI Field Offices, state missig childre s clearighouses, the Border Patrol, ad medical examiers offices throughout the coutry. NCMEC ca sed your child s picture to its etwork of agecies as soo as your law eforcemet agecy or the ivestigatig agecy makes a request. NCMEC case maagemet persoel are available ocall to make emergecy posters, broadcast faxes, ad distribute photographic images i the eveigs ad o weekeds. If your child has bee abducted ad is i dager, ask law eforcemet or NCMEC to cotact America s Most Wated o your behalf. You eed to ask either NCMEC or your law eforcemet agecy to make this call. America s Most Wated ca be reached by callig 800 CRIMETV ( ). The program ca ru a missig childre alert, which is a public service aoucemet showig your child s picture. Photo ad Flier Distributio: After the First 48 Hours After the first 48 hours, draw o your imagiatio ad the ideas of your may cotacts to keep your child s picture ad story alive before the public. Here are some ideas of what ca be doe. Be creative ad aggressive i gettig your child s posters put up i heavily trafficked areas across the coutry. Get approval for your mail carrier to place fliers i mailboxes. Ask utility compaies to distribute fliers as their meter readers make their routes. Ask churches to request that their members iclude your child s flier i Christmas cards ad other letters. Ask baks ad other groups that make regular mailigs to iclude copies of your child s flier. Ask Federal Express, Uited Parcel Service, local pizza compaies, ad other delivery compaies to distribute fliers o their routes. Ask truckig lies or movig compaies to post pictures o the backs of their trucks. Ask airlie pilot ad flight attedat uios to request that members post fliers i cities where airlie persoel lay over. Call motorcycle clubs ad other groups that hold atioal meetigs to see if their members will take alog fliers for distributio. If ayoe helpig you has difficulty covicig a compay to post or distribute your child s picture, you persoally should get o the phoe because it is harder to say o to a victim paret. The checklist Distributig Fliers cotais further tips for flier productio ad distributio. Prepare a press kit for distributio to a tioal ews ad talk shows ad magazies. Ask local public relatios firms or persos with writig ability to help you prepare the kit ad to secure ad street addresses. Be sure to iclude local ad regioal radio statios. Your law eforcemet agecy ca also give you guidace o press kit preparatio. Look for evets where voluteers ca distribute fliers. Have voluteers research ad make a list of evets such as sports cotests, couty fairs, festivals, ad cocerts plaed i your commuity, state, ad regio. Distribute fliers to those evets as part of your overall cavassig pla. Sed press releases ad arrage iterviews durig special or seasoal evets. Cosider celebratig your missig child s birthday by readig aloud cards or special messages you hope he or she will hear. Speak at what would have bee your child s graduatio from elemetary or middle school. Distribute ageprogressed photos of your child ad updated case iformatio to refresh people s memories ad reew iterest i your child s plight. Elist the aid of celebrities ad politicias who ca help publicize your child s case. 41

58 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Cotiue to work with NCMEC ad its photo distributio program. More tha 300 private-sector participats use NCMEC s prit photographs, ad a umber of federal agecies feature NCMEC photos i their buildigs. Valassis s Have You See Me? program, which features the ames ad faces of missig childre, reaches more tha 60 millio households through weekly ewspaper distributio ad reaches 90 percet of America homes via shared mail. NCMEC distributes posters of missig childre mothly to all Wal-Mart stores ad Sam s Clubs across the coutry. Make your ow picture cards to isert i mass mailigs. Get permissio from govermet agecies, utility compaies, ad private busiesses to have your card iserted i ewspapers ad evelopes cotaiig state licese reewals, tax assessmets, local utility bills, payroll evelopes, ad bak statemets. Talk to direct-mail advertisig compaies to gai access to mass coupo mailigs. Ask atioal groups for help. Ask law eforcemet associatios, wome s auxiliary groups, civic groups such as the Rotary Club or Elks ad Moose lodges, the Chamber of Commerce, military groups or associatios such as the Veteras of Foreig Wars, ad college fraterities to distribute ad post your child s poster or flier. Ask a variety of frachise busiesses to distribute posters through their ormal supply lies. Cosider especially various fast food ad gasolie chais. Idividuals who kow who has abducted or who is holdig your child may frequet liquor stores ad adult bookstores more ofte tha baks, post offices, ad schools. Reward posters should be posted where people with iformatio are most likely to see them. Cosider usig publicity gimmicks to etch your child s face i the public s memory. Have your child s picture prited o buttos, T-shirts, bumper stickers, stamps, ad baseball-type cards. A Word About Fax Machies If you do ot ow a fax machie, look for oe you ca ret or borrow, or get permissio to use the fax umber or e mail address of a earby busiess or police statio. You ca use this cotact iformatio for quick ad iexpesive commuicatios with: Law eforcemet. The ews media. Missig child agecies. State missig childre s clearighouses. Other idividuals ad orgaizatios that are willig to help. Whe a face to face meetig caot take place or if iformatio eeds to be dissemiated quickly a fax machie ca provide you with a importat lik to your law eforcemet agecy as you work together to prepare ad review press releases, set up iterview schedules, or provide lists of the ames ad telephoe umbers of idividuals who may hold clues to the whereabouts of your child. A fax machie i your home will also eable you to call orgaizatios devoted to missig child issues, ask them to fax their itake forms to you, ad the fill out, sig, ad fax back the forms immediately. 42

59 P h o t o a d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o Appear o talk shows o the coditio that your child s picture is show durig the program. Be sure that the subject of the talk show is compatible with the seriousess of your child s situatio ad that the show s topics ad other guests ca be verified prior to your appearace. Make sure that the storylie will help, ot harm, you ad your child. Steer clear of sesatioal shows that focus o serial child murders, child sexual exploitatio, or other issues that ca take the focus away from your case. 43

60 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Key Poits 1. Durig the first 48 hours, it is critical that recet pictures of your child, descriptios of physical traits ad persoality characteristics, ad facts pertiet to the disappearace be give to law eforcemet, the ews media, ad oprofit orgaizatios ad agecies. 2. Distribute oly recet pictures that resemble your child. Remember that posters ad fliers will show oly the head, eck, ad top of the shoulders. 3. Choose represetative videos or home movies for airig o televisio to show viewers your child s appearace, maerisms, ad voice quality. 4. Never give away your oly copy of a picture or video. Have photos scaed for electroic distributio ad make electroic copies of videos. 5. Be both creative ad aggressive i gettig your child s posters put up i heavily trafficked areas across the coutry. 6. Use publicity gimmicks, such as buttos, T-shirts, ad bumper stickers, to etch your child s face i the public s memory. 7. Prepare a press kit for distributio to atioal ews ad talk shows ad magazies. 8. Exted your search to the Iteret, which will allow you to sed your child s picture to a wide variety of orgaizatios via more quickly ad less expesively tha you could by fax. 9. Plug ito available photo distributio services, icludig NCMEC, which ca coordiate atioal media exposure, sed a broadcast fax to its atioal etwork of law eforcemet agecies, cotact America s Most Wated requestig that a public service aoucemet be aired o your behalf, ad post photos of your child o its Web site. 10. If your child has bee missig for a log time, distribute age-progressed photos ad updated case iformatio to refresh people s memories ad reew iterest i your child s plight. 44

61 P h o t o a d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o Checklist: Distributig Fliers Effective fliers creatively combie photographs with basic iformatio about your child. The followig checklist ca help you develop strategies for icreasig the visibility of your child s case ad geeratig possible leads about the disappearace. Ask someoe creative to take charge of flier ad poster productio. Frieds, family members, ad voluteers ca help with this task. Your poster coordiator ca ask local priters to produce fliers free or at a discout rate. Have fliers prited i differet sizes for differet purposes. Use differet sizes for buttos, hadouts, reward posters, mailigs, ad labels. Use the samples i this chapter as a guide. Ask your primary law eforcemet cotact what telephoe umber should be published o the flier for people to use to call i tips. Because the purpose of fliers is to geerate leads ad tips relevat to your child s case, it is crucial to iclude a special phoe umber for readers to call. Ofte, law eforcemet prefers to use a 24-hour hotlie staffed by traied iformatio takers rather tha the local police telephoe umber, which may revert to voice mail or a beeper whe o oe is i the office. The NCMEC toll-free umber ca be used oly after your child has bee reported missig to NCMEC. Crime Stoppers ad other reputable hotlies experieced i takig lead iformatio are other possibilities. If you ask, Crime Stoppers may be willig to give ad take reward iformatio. Do ot use your ow telephoe umber or establish your ow 800 umber. You eed to keep your ow phoe lie free for your child or the perso holdig your child to call. 45

62 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Notes 46

63 CHAPTER 5 Voluteers The may offers of support you receive i the first few days will carry you through. Whe people ask what they ca do, try to tell them somethig specific. Tomorrow they may be goe, ad you are likely to forget who made the offer. Pat Sessios Oe of the most heartwarmig thigs you will experiece is a tremedous outpourig of carig from family members, frieds, ad stragers. People of all races, atioalities, religios, ad socioecoomic levels will offer you ad your family emotioal support, food ad other gifts, ad help i the search. I fact, voluteers are essetial to the search process. They ca ad will play a variety of roles i the effort to fid your child. This chapter offers suggestios for ways to ivolve voluteers i the search ad ideas for maagig offers to help. Makig the Best Use of Voluteers To make the best use of voluteers, select a voluteer coordiator who is orgaized, efficiet, ad able to work well with ad give directio to others. The role of the voluteer coordiator is ot to hadle voluteer activities directly, but rather to delegate to others maagemet of specific activities, such as brigig food to the family, providig water for the searchers, ad coordiatig distributio of posters ad fliers. Choose someoe who is practical, well orgaized, ad skilled i providig leadership. Keep a ruig list or have someoe keep a list for you of the thigs you eed as they arise. If you keep your list curret, ew voluteers will always have a way to get ivolved, ad returig voluteers will kow where to go to fid out what is eeded ext. Whe someoe offers to help, write dow the perso s ame, telephoe umber, address, ad type of service preferred. Whe your child is first missig, it is hard to thik of what you eed ow, much less what you will eed i the future. If you have o ready aswer for someoe who asks to help, write dow specific iformatio that will eable you to cotact that perso later with a particular task. Do t be afraid to ask for what you eed. No task is too small or too large. If you eed somethig, the best thig you ca do for yourself is to ask. You will be truly amazed by the amout of support you receive. People really do wat to help. Tap ito the etwork of resources that private clubs, busiesses, ad agecies have available to them. May local clubs, busiesses, ad agecies ca help i a variety of ways by doatig items, distributig photographs ad fliers, or participatig i the search. Make a list of what you eed, ad see what each group ca provide. Here are some of the types of orgaizatios that may be willig to help: Rotary clubs ad other civic orgaizatios. Red Cross chapters. Local posts of Veteras of Foreig Wars. Local lodges. Churches ad syagogues. Paret-teacher associatios. 47

64 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Scout troops. Taxicab ad bus compaies. Iteret advertisig agecies. Truckig compaies. Retiree orgaizatios. Public ad private trasportatio agecies. Labor uios. Hospitals. Military istallatios. Colleges ad uiversities. Priters. Political groups. Paper suppliers. Pizza frachises. Fast food chais. Liquor store chais. Airlie compaies. Be aware that some voluteers may wat to become too ivolved, to get too itimate with the family, or to act beyod their desigated resposibility. Some idividuals seem to ejoy media attetio. They try to shift the focus of attetio away from your child ad oto themselves. Ufortuately, ot all voluteers may have your best Suggested Voluteer Activities Voluteers ca do may thigs for you. Let them. I doig so, you allow people to fulfill their desire to help, ad you relieve yourself of the burde of tryig to do everythig yourself, which you caot. The followig activities are particularly well suited for voluteers. Participate i the physical search. Cavass area busiesses for doatios of supplies eeded for the search effort or for the family s upkeep. Desig posters or fliers. Desig a electroic Web site ad forward leads electroically via the Web site. Tack up pictures ad posters ad had out fliers. Cotact oprofit orgaizatios, commuity groups, or other agecies i the commuity for doatios or other assistace i producig or distributig posters. Keep track of all doated items ad write thak-you otes. Aswer the home telephoe 24 hours a day ad maitai a telephoe log. Prepare meals. Help with household chores, such as cleaig, doig laudry, waterig flowers, mowig the law, maitaiig the yard, or shovelig the driveway. Ru errads, such as shoppig for groceries or goig to the pharmacy. Take care of pets. Form prayer groups. 48

65 V o l u t e e r s iterests i mid but are there for persoal reasos. Sometimes idividuals who victimize childre are draw to a search scee. If you feel ucomfortable with ayoe or aythig for ay reaso, iform your voluteer coordiator or law eforcemet cotact. Also, do t use ukow voluteers to do persoal tasks, such as washig laudry or helpig with carpools. Istead, rely o frieds or family members for these jobs. Usig Utraied Voluteers i the Search Effort Typically, law eforcemet is the coordiatig force behid the search, but voluteers ofte play a major role, especially i the immediate search of the 3- to 5-mile radius aroud where your child was last see. Desigate a voluteer search coordiator to work with law eforcemet. The voluteer search coordiator will eed istructio from law eforcemet to determie: How may opolice persoel will be eeded i the search. What locatios or areas are to be searched ad o what schedule. What traiig will be provided to voluteers. How iformatio will be dissemiated amog voluteers. I was devastated whe a year later oe of our voluteers was arrested for molestig boys i our commuity. What specific istructios will be give to voluteers about the process, procedures, ad parameters of the search. Eve though private idividuals, orgaizatios, ad busiesses may be iterested i helpig with the search, it is usually easier to work with a orgaized group. Orgaized groups ca quickly mobilize large, cohesive groups of searchers ad ca work through a already established chai of commad that will reduce battles for leadership ad cotrol. Groups ca choose their ow team leaders who Patty Wetterlig ca serve as a bridge betwee the voluteer search coordiator ad the voluteer searchers. The voluteer search coordiator s task of coveyig iformatio to the voluteer searchers will be easier because the team leader ca be asked to explai to each group what eeds to be doe. Law eforcemet, the voluteer search coordiator, ad the team leaders should work together to make sure that voluteers are doig what they are supposed to do. Sometimes, overwrought voluteer searchers go beyod their desigated roles ad resposibilities ad may uwittigly im pose themselves o the missig child s family. The checklist Workig With Vol uteer Searchers summarizes the most importat poits that eed to be covered with voluteers. Make sure that a list of the ames ad addresses of all voluteers is kept. You will eed this list to write thak-you otes, ad law eforcemet may eed it durig the search ad ivestigatio. 49

66 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Usig Traied Voluteers i the Search Effort May oprofit orgaizatios located throughout the coutry are poised to help you fid your missig child. May orgaizatios are devoted to the search for missig childre. They ca help distribute your child s poster, coordiate voluteer activities, locate the earest bloodhouds, or fid a paret of aother missig child to give you advice ad support. Cotact NCMEC to fid out the ames ad telephoe umbers of orgaizatios that meet their requiremets for certificatio or membership or visit NCMEC s Family Advocacy Divisio provides case-specific No oe completely uderstads your pai, but people geuiely care ad wat to help you, so try to overlook ay behavior or commets that seem isesitive. itervetio that ehaces the services NCMEC offers to childre ad their parets. The divisio proactively works with families, law eforcemet, ad family advocacy agecies to provide techical assistace, referrals, ad crisis itervetio services. The divisio supports Team H.O.P.E., a support etwork of traied voluteers who have experieced a abductio i their ow families. These voluteers are matched with families of missig childre to offer advice, assistace, ad ecouragemet. You might also wat to talk with your primary law eforcemet cotact ad with other parets of missig childre. Be wary of orgaizatios that promise they ca fid your missig child, that request paymet for these services, or that are ukow i this field. Collee Nick 50

67 V o l u t e e r s Key Poits 1. Voluteers are essetial to the search process. They ca ad will play a variety of roles i the effort to fid your child. 2. The role of the voluteer coordiator is ot to hadle voluteer activities directly, but rather to delegate to others maagemet of specific activities, such as brigig food to the family, providig water for the searchers, ad coordiatig distributio of posters ad fliers. 3. If you eed somethig, the best thig you ca do for yourself is to ask for help. You will be amazed by the amout of support you receive from others. 4. Keep a ruig list or have someoe keep a list for you of the thigs you eed as they arise. 5. Whe someoe offers to help, write dow the perso s ame, telephoe umber, address, ad type of service offered so you ca cotact that idividual later whe you are prepared to accept the offer. 6. Do t use ukow voluteers to do persoal tasks, such as washig laudry or helpig with carpools. If you feel ucomfortable with ayoe or aythig for ay reaso, iform your voluteer coordiator or primary law eforcemet cotact. 7. May local clubs, busiesses, ad agecies ca help i a variety of ways by doatig items, distributig photographs ad fliers, or participatig i the search. Make a list of what you eed, ad see what each group ca provide. 8. Eve though private idividuals, orgaizatios, ad busiesses may be iterested i helpig with the search effort, it is usually easier to work with orgaized groups, which ca quickly mobilize large, cohesive bads of searchers ad ca work through a already established chai of commad. 9. Make sure that a list of the ames ad addresses of all voluteers is kept so thak-you otes ca be writte ad law eforcemet ca refer to it durig the ivestigatory process. 10. Be wary of orgaizatios that promise they ca fid your missig child, that request paymet for these services, or that are ukow i this field. 11. Call Team H.O.P.E. for persoal support ( ). 51

68 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Checklist: Workig With Voluteer Searchers Before the physical search for your child begis, your law eforcemet agecy will review importat policies ad procedures for voluteer searchers. The purpose is to make sure that the search is as thorough ad effective as possible, that all clues ad pieces of evidece are safeguarded, ad that the safety of voluteers is protected. Some of the topics that will be discussed with the voluteer searchers iclude the followig. Persoal items ad other supplies for the search. Based o time of day, climate, ad terrai, searchers will be asked to brig with them or they may be provided with items for persoal use or for use i the search. These items iclude water bottles, flashlights, batteries, suscree, isect repellet, maps, compasses, walkie-talkies, otebooks, ad pes. Reportig procedures. Procedures will be established for searchers to use whe they report ad sig i. The system may be as simple as sigig a ame or as elaborate as takig a picture or video. Search procedures. Searchers will be give istructios cocerig: What type of search is beig coducted. What to do if clues or pieces of evidece are foud. What to do if a searcher gets hurt or lost. Who is resposible for searchers i a particular area ad what is the chai of commad for reportig iformatio. 52

69 V o l u t e e r s Notes 53

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71 CHAPTER 6 Rewards ad Doatios A reward for the safe retur of your child might be what it takes to persuade someoe who kows somethig to speak up. Do Ryce It s hard to assess the true value of a reward i recoverig a missig child. The offer of a reward might reew media iterest i reportig o a missig child, or it might be the thig that motivates a perso livig o the frige of society to call i a lead. Although rewards do ot always produce the right leads or have the aticipated results, the use of a reward may be worth cosiderig. This chapter discusses some importat issues for you to thik about before settig up a reward. It explais how to maage reward or doatio fuds correctly ad where to go for help or advice. Moetary Rewards Regardless of the odds that a reward will work, most parets or someoe i the commuity will wat to offer oe if they possibly ca i a effort to tur over every stoe i the search to fid the missig child. However, may issues eed to be cosidered before a iformed decisio about a reward ca be made. Get expert help. Because of the umber of legal ad techical issues that ca arise from a reward offer, you eed expert advice from a kowledgeable attorey, your primary law eforcemet cotact, your baker, ad the parets of other missig childre who have successfully established a reward fud. Make sure that the people who give you advice have firsthad experiece maagig a reward fud. Be aware that your reward offer ca be come a legally eforceable cotract. If you offer a reward, you are agreeig to pay a sum of moey if a perso s actios lead to the requested result. That meas that ayoe who complies with the terms of the offer ca be legally etitled to claim the reward ad ca sue for its recovery. That s why you must be very careful i how you describe the terms of the reward offer. Sloppy laguage ca result i serious legal problems. Ask a attorey for pro boo legal assistace. Be prepared to meet resistace from law eforcemet. Some law eforcemet agecies disapprove of reward offers because they ca result i a torret of false leads. Keep law eforcemet iformed of ay decisio you make regardig a reward, as it is your decisio, ad if you sese cocer or resistace, poit out that all it takes is oe solid lead to recover your child. Also, the desire for reward moey could motivate a abductor to keep a child alive. Clearly state the purpose of the offer. First decide what you wat the reward to accomplish, the make sure that this purpose is clearly spelled out i the offer. For example, it is a good idea to make your child s safe retur a writte coditio of the reward. The better the descriptio of the reward s purpose, the less likely it is that you will have to argue later over whether someoe complied with the terms of the offer. Set a time limit for the reward. Oe of the goals of a reward is to geerate immediate results i order to get your child back quickly. I the begiig, you may wat to keep the time limit fairly short ad tie it to a sigificat evet, such as your child s birthday. The drama of such a coutdow could geerate 55

72 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e substatial public iterest. Avoid ope-eded rewards that ca result i liability may years later. You ca always reew the reward for a loger period of time. Be careful i establishig the amout of the reward. Do t offer more moey tha you ca afford to pay. Decide o the maximum amout of the reward i the first offer ad stick to it because if you raise the amout later, people may wait for a more lucrative offer before callig i a lead. Check to see if special reward fuds already exist. Sometimes state ad local agecies ad eve the FBI have fuds available to put up as a reward i cases i volvig predatory abductio. Ask your law eforcemet cotact to help you fid out about such fuds. Be aware that moetary pledges are ot as reliable as doatios. It is much easier to persuade people to pledge moey toward a reward tha it is to get them to doate cash. Therefore, you ca i theory raise much more moey through pledges tha you ca through doatios. The problem is that you caot be sure that a pledge will be hoored whe the time comes to pay out the reward. If you use pledges, get the pledge i writig, pay attetio to the expiratio date of the pledge, ad pla to sped a fair amout of time makig sure your pledges are still legitimate. Pledges are ot forever. Do ot use your persoal fuds to fiace the reward. As hard as it may be, refrai from usig your ow persoal fuds for the reward. Based o the terms ad coditios spelled out i the reward offer, you may be liable for paymet of the reward, ad you may eve be sued. Ad though you may ot realize it i the begiig, you may be faced with fiacial costraits moths or years later, for example, if you are out of work for a exteded period of time helpig i the search for your child. Moetary Doatios A fter the search fud for our daughter was established, the rumors bega to fly about the ew vehicles ad houses we had purchased. We eve heard about a fabulous vacatio we supposedly had take with the moey from the fud. Collee Nick Moetary doatios ca be extremely helpful to families whose lives have bee tured up side dow by the disappearace of a child. They ca be used to help fiace the search, fud a reward, or support the family if a paret is uable to work durig the search process. But doatios ca also preset problems if they are ot maaged properly. For this reaso, you eed to be aware of some importat ac coutig ad accoutability issues that, if ot hadled correctly, could result i legal ad fiacial rui. Make sure that both you ad your cotributors kow how the moey will be used. Doatios ca be used for may differet purposes, depedig upo your eed. Ask that doatios be earmarked for a specific purpose such as the reward fud, the search fud, or the family support fud ad if they are ot, ask oe of your voluteers to call the door to fid out to which fud the doatio should be give. Seek professioal help from both a lawyer ad a baker to help you establish separate trusts ad accouts ad to oversee disbursemets. Keep separate bak accouts for each fud. If accouts are set up properly, doors will feel comfortable that records of the 56

73 R e w a r d s a d D o a t i o s moey are beig kept ad that doatios are beig used for the specified purpose. Creatig a trust fud or at least establishig safeguards, such as requirig dual sigatures o checks ad maitaiig accurate records is crucial. You must make sure that fuds earmarked for a specific purpose are, i fact, beig used for that purpose. Avoid havig direct cotrol over ay fuds received. Parets should ot solicit fuds o their ow. Use voluteer groups for this purpose istead. Parets also should ot have ay sigatory cotrol over the fuds because there have bee istaces i which someoe attempted to extort the reward moey from parets by force. Protect yourself from this kid of dager by puttig the moey, ad the power to access it, i someoe else s hads. Desigate trusted idividuals outside the family (such as a attorey or a accoutat) to have sigature authority over the accouts. By removig yourself from the cotrol of the fuds, you elimiate ay uecessary scrutiy by members of the public or the media about the use of the fuds. Make sure that the idividuals selected for this task are trustworthy ad that they uderstad their role ad potetial liability. Maitai accurate records that show where the doatios came from ad how the moey was spet. Make sure that the idividuals with sigature authority maitai proper records o all icome ad expeditures. A list of doors should be maitaied so thakyou letters ca be set, ad copies of receipts for all expeditures should be kept i case questios arise. Ask a baker to help you establish proper accoutig procedures, or ask for pro boo help from a attorey or a accoutat. Be hoest with the public. Be prepared for questios, which may tur ito accusatios, cocerig the use of doated fuds. Desigate oe perso who could be you or a trusted fried or family member to aswer all questios cocerig how the fuds are beig spet. Iformatio cocerig the umber of doatios or the amout i the accouts should ever be released to the media. Specify what will happe to the reward i the evet your child is located before the moey is spet. Sometimes large sums of moey i a reward fud are left uspet. There fore, you eed to establish writte procedures for how the moey is to be dispesed if it caot be used for the reward. For example, you ca specify that all doatios over a certai amout are to be retured, if the door is traceable, or that uused fuds are to be doated to a orgaizatio or agecy that helped with the search. Excess reward fud moey should ever be used for the family s persoal expeses because that was ot the purpose of the fud. Agai, talk with a attorey to determie how to hadle this situatio. 57

74 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Key Poits 1. Most parets will wat to put up a reward i a effort to tur over every stoe i the search for their missig child, eve though it is ot kow whether rewards actually help i cases ivolvig a missig or abducted child. 2. Use a reward offer to reew media iterest i reportig o a missig child or to motivate a perso livig o the frige of society to call i a lead. 3. Be prepared for resistace from your law eforcemet cotact because of police fears that the reward offer will result i a torret of false leads. 4. Because of the umber of legal ad techical issues that ca arise from a reward offer, you eed to obtai expert advice from a kowledgeable attorey, your law eforcemet cotact, your baker, ad the parets of missig childre who have successfully established a reward fud. Make sure that the people who give you advice have firsthad experiece maagig a reward fud. 5. Your reward offer ca become a legally eforceable cotract, which meas that ayoe who complies with the terms of the offer ca be legally etitled to claim the reward ad ca sue for its recovery. 6. Moetary pledges are ot as reliable as doatios. 7. Do t use persoal fuds to fiace the reward, ad do t offer more moey tha you ca raise. 8. Keep separate bak accouts for each type of fud reward, family support, or search ad maitai accurate records showig where each moetary doatio came from ad how the moey was spet. 9. Avoid havig direct cotrol over ay fuds received by desigatig trusted idividuals outside the family to have sigature authority over the accouts. By removig yourself from cotrol of the fuds, you elimiate ay uecessary scrutiy by members of the public or the media about the use of the fuds. 10. Establish writte procedures detailig how the moey is to be dispesed if it caot be used for the reward. 58

75 R e w a r d s a d D o a t i o s Checklist: Selectig a Tiplie for Leads Selectig a phoe umber for people to use to call i leads for the reward requires careful thought. Your home ad busiess telephoes should be reserved for your persoal use. NCMEC operates a toll-free telephoe lie. However, NCMEC staff are prohibited from supplyig iformatio about rewards. Moreover, callers with leads have specific eeds that must be addressed. Callers must be able to give aoymous tips. Some people will ot call uless they ca be assured of aoymity. Some tiplies assig a special umber to each caller to esure that a particular caller gets credit for the tip. Callers must be able to call 24 hours a day. Some people prefer to call after regular busiess hours. The telephoe umber you list should allow people to call at ay hour of the day or ight. Callers must be able to phoe log distace without havig to pay for the call. Some orgaizatios offer a established toll-free telephoe umber you ca use to gather tips or other iformatio about your child. Crime Stoppers is oe such orgaizatio that aswers calls 24 hours a day, provides aoymity to callers, ad has a good workig relatioship with law eforcemet. Cotact your local office of Crime Stoppers to lear more about that orgaizatio s system. Also, your local law eforcemet agecy ad your state missig childre s clearighouse may be able to provide further guidace. The perso who aswers the phoe must be able to hadle this type of call. Aswerig a telephoe tiplie requires a special set of skills. People who aswer tiplies eed to kow how to keep callers o the lie, what questios to ask, ad how to write dow importat iformatio. Tips must be furished to law eforcemet immediately. Law eforcemet is resposible for evaluatig ad followig up o all tips ot parets, family members, or frieds. For this reaso, all tips ad lead iformatio should be passed o immediately to law eforcemet, icludig the circumstaces surroudig them how they were made, who received them, at what time of day, ad so forth. 59

76 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Notes 60

77 CHAPTER 7 Persoal ad Family Cosideratios I had o ratioal thoughts, they were all irratioal. Heather Cox Hagig o to my saity for a miute at a time ofte took all of my eergy. I could ot begi to look several days dow the road. Collee Nick Not kowig where your child is or how he or she is beig treated is oe of the hardest thigs you will have to face. Oe miute you will feel a surge of hope, the ext, a depth of despair that will threate your very saity. Life will become a emotioal roller coaster that wo t really stop util you ca hold your child i your arms agai. As you eter more deeply ito the situatio, kow that you are ot aloe. Ufortuately, other families have had to travel this path ad have experieced the same emotioal wriger. Families ca ad do survive ad yours will, too, but it will take all the stregth, hope, ad willpower you ca muster. i order to hadle it. The fact is, the ightmare will cotiue util your child is foud, so you eed to take as may breaks from it as you ca. Force yourself to eat ad sleep. Your body eeds food ad sleep i order to edure this ordeal. Although eatig ad sleepig may seem icredibly difficult, you must try. If eatig regular meals feels like too much of a drai or if it brigs back paiful memories of your child, chage your meal times ad locatios. If you caot sleep at ight because you are ervous, tese, or afraid of ightmares, fid a place to relax ad ap durig the day. Just make sure you are doig everythig you ca to take care of yourself. Regaiig Your Emotioal ad Physical Stregth Your ability to be strog ad to help i the search for your child requires that you atted to your ow physical ad emotioal eeds. Although it may be hard right ow for you to maitai your daily routie, it is paramout that you do so. The drivig force behid the search effort is you, ad therefore you must, for your child s sake, be physically ad metally well The ightmare is always there. A break is essetial to your saity. Fid time for physical exercise. Ay type of physical activity, eve walkig the dog, ca help to ease the stress o your body ad clear your head. Physical exercise also ca help you relax at ight so your body gets the sleep it eeds. Create space for yourself. Fid a place of refuge away from the pressure of the search ad the ivestigatio where you ca be aloe with your thoughts ad regroup. Eve a few quiet miutes ca sigificatly relieve stress. It may help to walk i the park, visit your church or syagogue, or talk to a eighbor. Try to take as much time Collee Nick 61

78 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e as you eed ad ca spare. Remember that you are the best judge of what will help you to hadle the life crisis ad that it is okay eve ecessary to take a break from the stress for dier ad a walk. Fid ways to release your emotios. Your emotios will be ruig wild ad will seem out of cotrol. I these circumstaces fear, ager, ad grief ca take over your etire existece. Therefore, you eed to fid a way to release your emotios because if you caot express them, you may fid yourself takig it out o others. Talk with someoe a fried, a relative, or a professioal therapist who will just liste. Also, try to stay busy. You ca cook, write letters that express your feeligs without mailig them, or record your thoughts ad feeligs i a joural. Keep a joural. Some parets fid it ex treme ly helpful to keep track of their thoughts ad feeligs i a joural. Joural etries, which ca be writte or tape recorded, eed ot be coheret or itelliget. Their purpose is merely to record your thoughts ad feeligs at ay particular time ad to help you resolve them. Put your ager ad grief to work for you. Come up with ideas for the search. For example, you ca make a list of all of your child s frieds, eighbors, ad acquaitaces ayoe who might hold a clue as to the where abouts of your child. You ca make a list of places your child frequeted or eve occasioally visited aywhere law eforcemet could look for your child. Fially, you ca thik of ways to release your emotios i a productive maer. Stay away from alcohol ad harmful medicatios. Alcoholic beverages, harmful drugs, ad eve prescriptio medicatios ca prevet you from beig a effective member of the My life eded the day my child was take. At some poit I had to fid a place to start over. Heather Cox search team ad ca eve iduce depressio. However, if you are havig trouble sleepig at ight or copig durig the day, ask your physicia for help. He or she may prescribe a medicatio that will help you sleep or alleviate your depressio. Just be sure that you oly take medicatios uder the supervisio of a physicia because some ca be addictive. Do t blame yourself. Lookig back, you may feel that there was somethig you could have doe to have preveted your child s disappearace. You ca literally drive yourself crazy askig, What if...? But the fact is, if you did ot arrage for the disappearace, you should ot hold yourself resposible for ot kowig or doig somethig that may seem obvious i hidsight. Ad remember, childre have bee abducted out of the safety of their ow bedroom while their parets slept i the room ext door. Do t shoulder the blame of others. Recogize that some people may blame you for the disappearace because of their ow fears for their childre. They may imply that if you had watched your child more closely, he or she would ot have disappeared. Blamig you may make them feel somewhat safer i the world because they hold you ad your supposed mistake resposible for your child s abductio, rather tha the abductor. Also, sometimes oe spouse blames the other for the disappearace of the child. This is hardly ever fair ad ca critically harm the well-beig of the etire family. Try to stay out of the blame game by beig kid to yourself ad to oe aother. Uderstad that sometimes ager ad blame are irratioal ad misplaced. Keep the lies of commuicatio ope amog family members. If ecessary, seek professioal couselig or other outside assistace to help you hadle the situatio. 62

79 P e r s o a l a d F a m i l y C o s i d e r a t i o s Stay uited i your fight to fid your child. Do t allow the stress of the ivestigatio to drive a wedge ito your family life. Whe emotios ru wild, be careful that you do ot lash out at or cast blame o others. Istead, give each other lots of warm hugs to couteract the stress iheret i the situatio. Remem ber that everyoe deals with crises ad grief differetly, so do t judge others because they do ot respod to the disappearace i the same way you do. Allow the opiios of other people to be their busiess, ot yours. Some people eed to have a opiio as to how well you are hadlig the situatio ad whether you should be actig differetly. Keep i mid that such judgmets are mere ly the opiios of others ad that at ay give momet, you are doig the best you possibly ca. Seek peer support for yourself ad your family. Some parets fid talkig with other parets of missig childre to be extremely beeficial. Sometimes it is eough to kow that you are ot aloe ad that someoe else i the world truly uderstads. Cosider cotactig oe of the paret authors of this Guide (listed i the back of this book) or a member of Team H.O.P.E. ( ) for persoal support (see page 79). Call the Child Protectio Divisio at the Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio, U.S. Departmet of Justice (listed i the Additioal Resources sectio of this Guide), to get i touch with ay oe My daughter Morga s brother ad sister were very youg 3 years ad 22 moths whe she was abducted. Her father ad I decided to ot let them watch the ews o TV, but we kept them iformed about the search i a way that they could uderstad. As a family, we released balloos for her at a set time every moth. That let the two childre who were left feel like they were helpig i the search for their sister. Collee Nick of the paret authors. You ca also ask your law eforcemet cotact for a list of victim s advocates ad local support groups. Noprofit agecies or your state missig childre s clearighouse ca also provide you with the ames ad phoe umbers of parets who ca help. Seek professioal couselig for yourself ad your family. Nobody should have to live through the pai that you are goig through. Professioal couselig ca be extremely helpful for parets ad families to assist them i copig with their feeligs of fear, depressio, grief, isolatio, ager, ad despair. You may thik that you ad your family ca or should get through the crisis aloe, but you do t have to. Ecourage family members to take care of themselves by seekig support ad couselig. If you eed assistace fidig or payig for couselig, cotact your local metal health agecy or provider or ask aother family member or fried to do this for you. If you are ucomfortable with professioal couselig, cosider aother form of support from your clergy, a physicia, a lay couselor, or a fried. Seek peace ad solace for yourself. May parets fid comfort i their faith ad use it as a powerful icetive to survive. The loeliess of grief dimiishes somewhat for people who believe that they are ot aloe. Turig to or returig to religio ca give parets the support ad ecouragemet they eed at this critical jucture i their lives. 63

80 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Metally Preparig for the Log Term As heartless as it may seem, your life ad the lives of your childre must go o. Although movig o with your life may seem impossible, you must do it for the good of yourself ad your family. You will, of course, fid that there is o such thig as ormal life as you oce kew it. Everythig has chaged, ad has chaged forever. Ad whatever the outcome, you will be dealig with this i some way for the rest of your life. Goig back to work is ot abadomet of your child. If you eed to retur to work, you may feel extremely guilty. Try to remember that your child must have a home to retur to ad that you are workig to provide that home for your child. Whe you retur to work, fid a quiet place where you ca go to be aloe or to cry. Your grief is likely to come uaouced, ad you will eed a place where you ca ex press it. If your job requires a lot of cocetratio, which you are ot able to give, look for aother positio that does ot place as may demads o you. The America Hospice Foudatio publicatio Grief at Work, listed i the Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources sectio of this Guide, has additioal advice. Focus o your emotioal well-beig. To keep yourself o a more eve keel, cotiue idividual ad family couselig, ad try to stay busy. You ca immerse yourself i activities with your other childre or voluteer to help i school, church, or the commuity. Do t isolate yourself. May paret survivors try to help other parets by workig through missig childre s orgaizatios or by startig a group of their ow. The books ad articles listed i the Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources sectio of this Guide have prove to be particularly helpful. It s okay to laugh. A laugh ca be as cleasig as a good cry. Laughter ot oly helps to release tesio ad emotio, it helps to restore ormalcy to life ad it ca also help the sibligs of the missig child. Never stop lookig. You will probably wat to dedicate part of each day to your missig child. Use these hours to keep the search goig ad to keep the hope alive. You ca set aside time to make phoe calls, write letters, cotact law eforcemet, or do whatever you thik will help i the search for your missig child. Helpig Your Other Childre To Regai Their Physical ad Emotioal Stregth Your other childre eed your physical ad emotioal support ow more tha ever, but you may ot be able to satisfy their eeds. You may have barely eough eergy to keep yourself goig. You may feel that you are abadoig your lost child if you are ot doig somethig every momet to fid him or her. These are ormal feeligs. Cosider gettig additioal support for your other childre durig this time of crisis. Get a copy of What About Me? Copig With the Abductio of a Brother or Sister. This publicatio is available at Here are some ideas. Fid a safety zoe for your childre. Fid a safe place away from your home where your other childre ca be shielded from both the search effort ad the media. This is especially importat for youg childre, who still eed to play ad be themselves. Trusted frieds ad relatives ca provide a reasoably ormal, urturig life for your childre i a relatively stress-free eviromet, so this is a good time to let members of the exteded family ad frieds assume a large part of the resposibility for their care. Just remember to maitai cotact with your childre both over the phoe ad with regular visits ad to reassure them frequetly how much you love them. 64

81 P e r s o a l a d F a m i l y C o s i d e r a t i o s Cosider lettig your other childre participate i the search alog with a adult. If it seems appropriate, you ca allow your older childre to actively participate i the search effort. However, it is importat to cosider their age, desire, ad level of maturity ad to respect their right to say o. If your childre are youg, you will eed to decide how much iformatio you wat revealed ad whether it is appropriate for them to participate i the search effort. I some cases, youger childre have distributed balloos ad fliers. If you decide to let your childre participate, keep a gauge o how well they are hadlig the situatio ad be prepared to make chages, if ecessary. Remember that there are both emotioal ad security issues to cosider whe your childre participate i the search effort. Ask your law eforcemet cotact for advice. Thik twice about lettig the media iterview sibligs. Iterviews with the media ca be extremely traumatic to the brothers ad sisters of a missig child. Childre are seldom prepared for the extremely persoal or probig questios asked by isesitive or pushy media persoel. Remember that the media ca ad will be persistet, particularly give the sudde ascesio of your family to celebrity status. Make sure that you supervise iterviews ad cotiue to set boudaries that are i your childre s best iterests. Brig the eeds of your other childre ito balace with those of your missig child. Focus o the eeds of the childre who are still at home. Remember that they, too, are tryig to cope with their loss. Talk with your childre about their feeligs of fear, ager, hurt, ad loss. Make them feel as importat to you as your missig child. Ecourage them to re tur to the iterests ad activities We celebrated Jimmy s life by rememberig the profoud thigs he had said ad the mischievous thigs he had doe. Claudie Ryce they ejoyed before the disappearace by playig with frieds, participatig i sports, or playig music. Establish differet routies to help your fam ily cope. Family meetigs ca be a effective way to deal with the chages wrought by the disappearace. They offer family members a safe, ojudgmetal eviromet i which to voice feeligs of fear, ager, ad frustratio. They also give family members a opportuity to keep oe aother iformed about the ogoig ivestigatio ad ivolved i family decisiomakig. Celebrate birthdays, holidays, ad other special evets. Youg childre will wat to celebrate birthdays ad holidays eve whe a brother or sister is missig. Pla ahead so you are ot caught offguard by the itese emotioal roller coaster that ca accompay such evets. You ca, for example, try chagig family holiday traditios ad begiig ew oes. Istead of throwig a big birthday party, you ca eat cake ad ice cream for breakfast ad the ope presets. If you have older childre, istead of the traditioal Christmas or Haukkah celebratio at home, you ca go o a trip ad celebrate there. Remember that your childre eed to have fu ad that they wat you to celebrate, eve if your heart is ot ready for it. Recogize, however, that you have persoal limitatios as to what you will be able to hadle ad that those limitatios eed to be respected. The secret is to pla ahead. Allow all members of the family to talk about your missig child, about their emotioal reactios to the situatio, ad about their loss. Do t let the absece of your child ad your deep sese of loss become a taboo subject. Istead, let your childre kow that 65

82 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e they ca freely express their thoughts ad feeligs to you ad that they will be met with love ad acceptace. Let your childre kow that it is okay for everyoe i the family icludig mom ad dad to cry ad that you ca help each other by holdig hads, givig each other a big hug or kiss, or gettig each other a glass of water. Remember that eve if you do ot commuicate with your childre about your missig child, other childre i the eighborhood will. Do t be surprised if your other childre s behavior drastically chages. Everyoe i the family has suffered a tremedous shock. I these circumstaces, bedwettig, stomachaches, depressio, ager, sulleess, quietess, ad truacy are commo reactios. But by the same toke, do t be alarmed if your child s behavior chages very little or ot at all. Childre, just as adults, W react differetly to the disappearace of a child. Help your other childre retur to some type of ormalcy by returig to school. Your childre eed the ormalcy that the daily routie of school provides. But before your childre go back to school, talk with them about what they wat others to kow. Make sure they uderstad that most people i your commuity already kow what has happeed. Liste to your child s thoughts ad feeligs about returig to school. The, talk to your child s teachers ad couselors to help them prepare for the retur of your child. atchig my daughter suffer through the loss of her child was icredibly paiful. Not oly was I hurtig over the loss of Shelby, my graddaughter, but also over the deep pai of my daughter. Ask the school to brig couselors ito the classroom both after the disappearace ad whe your child returs to school. Teachers ad classmates of a missig child will also experiece fear ad grief. Whe your other childre retur to school, they ad their frieds ad the frieds of your missig child are boud to feel scared. Ask your law e forcemet cotact if a officer ca go to the school to teach the childre both how to recogize dagerous situatios ad how to get away. Ask teachers ad couselors for their help i givig all of the childre the support they eed to deal with this crisis. The America Hos- Foudatio publica- pice tio Grief at School, listed Mario Boburka i the Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources sectio of this Guide, has additioal advice. Ask other childre who have faced similar difficulties to provide oe-ooe support to your childre. A umber of sources ca put you i touch with other families that have experieced the trauma of a missig child. Try callig your local law eforcemet agecy, your state missig childre s clearighouse, NCMEC, or other missig childre s orgaizatios. Your childre may be more comfortable talkig with a peer who has goe through a similar ordeal. Seek professioal couselig for your childre. Your childre are sufferig just as i te sely as you are ad may eed help dealig with feeligs of fear, ager, ad grief. Do t feel guilty that you caot be their total support at this poit i your life. Istead, look to others to help your childre cope with the powerful emotios that follow the disappearace of a brother or sister. 66

83 P e r s o a l a d F a m i l y C o s i d e r a t i o s Helpig Exteded Family Members To Regai Their Physical ad Emotioal Stregth The disappearace of a child affects may people gradparets, auts, ucles, cousis. They, too, will experiece deep emotioal scars from the sudde loss. All of you will eed the love ad support of oe aother. Exteded family members ca do a umber of thigs cotribute to the search effort, take care of other childre, or stay i close phoe cotact to help them work through the pai ad grief of losig a relative. If possible, iclude exteded family members i the search effort. Exteded family members ca serve a variety of fuctios as spokesperso for the family, coordiator of media evets, coordiator of voluteers, or co ordiator of searchers. They ca also develop ad dissemiate posters ad fliers, cotact missig childre s orgaizatios to request assistace, ad gather iformatio to give to law eforcemet to help i the search ad recovery effort. Put a daily report o your home aswerig ma chie or voic greetig, or Web site, to keep family members iformed of progress i the search. Law eforcemet should keep you iformed about the ivestigatio, but i may cases exteded family mem bers are left out of such discussios. They may, as a result, feel left out ad usure of what to do. Puttig simple messages o your home aswerig machie or voic greetig, or Web site, will keep distat family members iformed. It also will save you time from havig to make or receive phoe calls ad i the process will help to free up your telephoe lie i the evet that your child or someoe with a tip is tryig to get through. Do t try to provide emotioal support to everyoe i your family. It is ot your job to be a emotioal rock for the exteded family. Istead, ecourage family members to seek support ad comfort from frieds ad other family members, from their church or syagogue, or from local metal health agecies, professioal couselors, or other commuity resources. Let members of your family kow that you are depedig o them to help you through this ordeal. 67

84 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e A Word About Startig a Noprofit Orgaizatio As time passes ad your child does ot retur, you may become very frustrated. You may wat to fid a way to maitai or icrease the level of activity. Some parets thik about establishig a oprofit orgaizatio (NPO). A NPO must have a broad public purpose (that is, it caot be devoted to a sigle child). Although state regulatios vary, federal regulatios are i place to assure the public that their cotributios are well maaged ad are used for the orgaizatio s stated purpose. There are several thigs to cosider whe establishig a tax-exempt NPO: You eed a purpose or missio statemet, articles of icorporatio, bylaws, a operatig budget, ad a board of directors. You will eed to file ecessary documetatio with appropriate state ad federal agecies. You must be aware of the differeces betwee for-profit ad oprofit orgaizatios to maitai the NPO s programmatic ad fiscal health. You eed to keep meticulous files, icludig fiacial ad corporate records. These records are ope to the public. You may also have to meet the stadards of charitable watchdog agecies. You may wat to have a existig NPO serve as your fiscal aget. You will eed to develop a program that attracts eough iterest ad fiacial support so it ca be maitaied. A word of cautio: Imagie yourself udergoig the worst possible trauma ad decidig that NOW would be a good time to start a ew busiess. The startup ad maiteace of a oprofit orgaizatio ca be icredibly challegig. Make sure you are surrouded by trusted frieds or family who ca do the majority of the work, especially at the begiig. 68

85 P e r s o a l a d F a m i l y C o s i d e r a t i o s Key Poits 1. Force yourself to eat, sleep, ad exercise. Realize that your ability to be strog ad to help i the search for your child requires that you atted to your ow physical ad emotioal eeds. If you have trouble sleepig at ight or copig durig the day, ask your physicia for help. 2. Stay away from alcohol, drugs, ad harmful medicatios, which ca prevet you from beig a effective member of the search team ad ca eve iduce depressio. 3. Fid productive ways to release your emotios, such as keepig a joural, talkig with a fried, takig a walk, exercisig, cookig, cleaig, or thikig up ways to exted the search. Do t isolate yourself. 4. Do t blame yourself for your child s disappearace or allow yourself to shoulder the blame of others. Treat yourself ad others as kidly as you ca. 5. Do t feel guilty if you eed to retur to work. Remember that you are workig to provide a home for your child to retur to. 6. Stay uited with your spouse i your fight to fid your child. Do t allow the stress of the ivestigatio to drive a wedge ito your family life, ad do t misjudge others because their respose to the disappearace is differet from yours. 7. Do t allow the absece of your child ad your deep sese of loss to become a taboo subject. Ecourage ope discussio of feeligs i a safe, carig, ojudgmetal eviromet durig family meetigs. 8. Establish differet routies for daily life ad for celebratig birthdays, holidays, ad other evets. Fid a safe place away from your home perhaps with frieds or relatives where your other childre ca feel free to play ad express themselves, away from the spotlight of the search ad the media. 9. If it seems appropriate, allow your other childre to participate i the search, perhaps by distributig posters, fliers, or balloos. Remember that both emotioal ad security issues eed to be addressed. 69

86 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Key Poits (cotiued) 10. Do t be surprised if your other childre s behavior chages drastically. Bedwettig, stomachaches, depressio, ager, sulleess, quietess, ad truacy are commo reactios. But remember that childre, just like adults, react differetly to the disappearace of a child, ad some may ot show ay chage i behavior. Get a copy of What About Me? Copig With the Abductio of a Brother or Sister, which was writte by the sibligs of abducted childre. This publicatio is available at 11. Help your other childre retur to some type of ormalcy by goig back to school, but liste carefully to them before they go. Request that the school brig couselors ito the classroom to discuss the situatio with the childre, ad ask your law eforcemet cotact to arrage for a officer to go to the school to teach the childre both how to recogize dagerous situatios ad how to get away. 12. Exteded family members ca serve a variety of fuctios i the search effort as spokesperso for the family, coordiator of media evets, coordiator of voluteers, or coordiator of searchers. They ca also help with posters ad fliers, request assistace from missig childre s orgaizatios, ad gather iformatio to give to law eforcemet. 13. Do t try to provide emotioal support to everyoe i your family. Seek professioal couselig for yourself ad your childre to help you cope. 14. Brig callers up to date o the progress of the search by recordig simple messages o your home aswerig machie or voic greetig, or Web site. 15. Never stop lookig. Dedicate part of each day to your missig child by makig phoe calls, writig letters, cotactig law eforcemet, or doig whatever you thik will help i the search for your missig child. 70

87 P e r s o a l a d F a m i l y C o s i d e r a t i o s Checklist: Figurig Out How To Pay Your Bills Eve though your world has stopped, the rest of the world marches o. If you work outside the home, your boss may be uderstadig at first, but may tell you later that you will be replaced if your child is ot foud quickly. If you are i busiess for yourself, you will have to balace your eed to participate i the search with your eed to make decisios about your compay. At some poit, you will have to deal with the bills that come i ad perhaps other fiacial cocers as well, eve if it s to buy yourself more time. Exteded leave. If you eed a exteded leave from work, ask a family member or fried to talk to your employer o your behalf. For example, some employers allow employees to doate their excess leave time to those who eed it. Extesios o bills. Talk to mortgage compaies, utility compaies, ad other creditors to see if you ca get extesios o your bills. Rebudgetig. Ask a fried or a accoutat to help you rebudget your fiaces or refiace your house. Fiacial assistace. Call your state missig childre s clearighouse to fid out if they kow of local resources, such as social services or emergecy or other fiacial assistace fuds, that might be able to provide short- or log-term support for you. Victim compesatio fuds. Call the Office for Victims of Crime or your state attorey geeral s office to fid out about victim s compesatio fuds. Such fuds may cover lost wages ad other crime-related expeses. 71

88 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Notes 72

89 Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources Critical Icidet Respose Group, Child Abductio ad Serial Killer Uit Child Abductio Respose Pla. Quatico, VA: Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio. Desiged for law eforcemet agecies, this documet is available oly through the Crimes Agaist Childre Coordiator of the local FBI Field Office. It explais essetial techiques i child abductio ivestigatios. Echols, Mike I Kow My First Name Is Steve. Kearey, MO: Piacle Books. Though ot officially out of prit, this book is out of stock idefiitely at the priter. Copies may be available at your local library or i larger bookstores. The author describes the log ordeal of two childre who were kidapped by Keeth Parell ad the trauma they faced. Federal Agecy Task Force for Missig ad Exploited Childre Federal Resources o Missig ad Exploited Childre: A Directory for Law Eforcemet ad Other Public ad Private Agecies. Washigto, DC: U.S. Departmet of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio. Developed for law eforcemet agecies ad other federal, state, ad local agecies that work with missig ad exploited childre, this directory describes the may federal services, traiig programs, ad resources that relate to missig ad exploited childre. Cotact iformatio is provided for easy access. The directory is available free of charge by callig the Natioal Crimial Justice Referece Service (NCJRS) at If you prefer, you ca dowload copies of the directory from the NCJRS Justice Iformatio Web site (www.cjrs.gov). Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio A Family Resource Guide o Iteratioal Paretal Kidappig. Washigto, DC: U.S. Departmet of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio. This guide was developed by federal, state, ad local agecies ad orgaizatios, ad parets of childre abducted to aother coutry by the ocustodial paret. It offers descriptios ad realistic assessmets of civil ad crimial remedies, explais applicable laws, idetifies public ad private resources, ad idetifies strategies to help left-behid parets recover their childre or reestablish meaigful cotact with them i aother coutry. This guide is available free of charge by callig NCJRS at If you prefer, you ca dowload copies of the guide from the NCJRS Justice Iformatio Web site (www.cjrs.gov). Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio A Law Eforcemet Guide o Iteratioal Paretal Kidappig. Washigto, DC: U.S. Departmet of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio. This guide is a compaio to A Family Resource Guide o Iteratioal Paretal Kidappig. It serves as a resource for federal, state, ad local law eforcemet officers who are called o to respod to iteratioal paretal kidappig cases. It offers ideas ad suggestios for pre vetig iteratioal abductios; discusses applicable laws, legal remedies, ad liability cocers; describes the role of law eforcemet as both the iitial respoder ad the ivestigator; ad offers strategies for extraditio, reuificatio, ad recovery. This guide is available free of charge by callig NCJRS at

90 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio What About Me? Copig With the Abductio of a Brother or Sister. Washigto, DC: U.S. Departmet of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio. This guide was writte by sibligs of childre who have bee abducted. It cotais iformatio that will help ad support childre of all ages whe their brother or sister is kidapped. It provides ideas o what childre ca expect i terms of the feeligs they may experiece, the evets that may occur from day to day, ad the thigs they ca do to help themselves feel better. Writte i child-friedly laguage, it is divided ito sectios that iclude home, family, law eforcemet, the media, school ad work, ad holidays ad aiversaries. The guide also cotais activity pages for childre of all ages, icludig those who are too youg to read. The guide is available free of charge by callig NCJRS at Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio You re Not Aloe: The Jourey From Abductio to Empowermet. Washigto, DC: U.S. Departmet of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio. This guide presets several stories about those who have survived a child abductio ad how they have grow ad developed after their traumatic experieces. It was writte by survivors of child abductio ad it provides iformatio to help other survivors cope with their ow experieces ad begi their jourey toward a better future. The guide also cotais some blak space where readers ca write dow their ow thoughts ad feeligs i respose to each persoal story. The guide is available free of charge by callig NCJRS at Turer, Johaa Grief at Work. Washigto, DC: America Hospice Foudatio. This booklet provides suggestios for employees ad maagers for copig with grief ad loss at work. The booklet is available from the America Hospice Foudatio, 1130 Coecticut Aveue NW., Suite 700, Washigto, DC ( ). Turer, Johaa Grief at School. Washigto, DC: America Hospice Foudatio. This booklet for educators ad couselors provides suggestios for helpig childre to cope with crisis ad grief i the school settig. The booklet is available from the America Hospice Foudatio, 1130 Coecticut Aveue NW., Suite 700, Washigto, DC ( ). Walsh, Joh Tears of Rage. New York, NY: Pocket Books. This book recouts the powerful ad emotioal story of Joh Walsh ad his wife Revé followig the 1981 abductio ad murder of their 6-year-old so Adam. The book also chroicles Joh Walsh s 16-year exhaustive efforts o behalf of missig ad exploited childre. Available i bookstores. Ward, Heather Patricia I Promise I ll Fid You. Otario, Caada: Firefly Books. This heartwarmig childre s book tells the story of a mother who promises to do everythig humaly possible to fid her child should that child ever become lost or missig from home. Available i bookstores. 74

91 R e c o m m e d e d R e a d i g s a d O t h e r R e s o u r c e s Publicatios From the Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre Sigle copies of the followig books ad up to 50 copies of each brochure are available free of charge from the Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre (www.cmecpublicatios.org or ). Books Family Abductio Guide Writte i both Eglish ad Spaish, this guide describes the actios that parets ad family members ca take ad the laws that ca help whe their child is abducted. Missig ad Abducted Childre: A Law Eforcemet Guide to Case Ivestigatio ad Program Maagemet This documet provides law eforcemet with a step-by-step guide o how to respod to ad ivestigate missig childre cases. Brochures Keepig Kids Safer o the Iteret The followig brochures, writte i both Eglish ad Spaish, are part of the Just i Case Series ad offer step-by-step istructios for dealig with a variety of issues relatig to missig ad exploited childre. Just i Case... Guidelies i Case You Are Cosiderig Day Care Just i Case... Guidelies i Case You Need a Childcare Provider (Eglish oly) Just i Case... Guidelies i Case You Are Cosiderig Family Separatio* Just i Case... Guidelies i Case You Need a Babysitter (Spaish oly) Just i Case... Guidelies i Case Your Child Is Testifyig i Court Just i Case... Guidelies i Case Your Child Is or Might Someday Be a Ruaway* Just i Case... Guidelies i Case Your Child Might Someday Be Missig* Just i Case... Guidelies i Case Your Child Might Someday Be the Victim of Sexual Exploitatio* Just i Case... Iformatio for Families Grievig After the Loss of a Child ad the Professioals Who Support Them Just i Case... Guidelies i Fidig Professioal Help i Case Your Child Is Missig or the Victim of Sexual Exploitatio* Just i Case... Guidelies o Usig the Federal Paret Locator Service i Cases of Paretal Kidapig ad Child Custody * Also available i Vietamese. 75

92 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e The followig brochures, part of the Kow the Rules Series, provide iformatio ad tips for childre, teeagers, ad parets o a variety of topics relatig to child exploitatio, victimizatio, ad safety. Kow the Rules... Abductio ad Kidappig Prevetio Tips for Parets Kow the Rules... After School Safety Tips for Childre Who Are Home Aloe Kow the Rules... Child Safety for Door-to-Door Solicitatio Kow the Rules... For Child Safety i Amusemet or Theme Parks Kow the Rules... For Child Safety i Youth Sports Kow the Rules... For Goig To ad From School More Safely Kow the Rules... Geeral Tips for Parets ad Guardias To Help Keep Their Childre Safer Kow the Rules... Safety Tips for Hallowee Kow the Rules... Safety Tips for Tees Kow the Rules... Safety Tips for the Holidays Kow the Rules... Summer Safety Tips for Childre Kow the Rules... Summer Safety Tips for Parets/Guardias Kow the Rules... Whe Your Child Is Flyig Uaccompaied Kow the Rules... Whe Your Child Is Travelig Uaccompaied by Bus or Trai Kow the Rules... Travelig Outside of ad to the Uited States Kowig My Rules for Safety 76

93 R e c o m m e d e d R e a d i g s a d O t h e r R e s o u r c e s Iteret Safety Resources for Parets Got 2B Safe! Hoeywell ad Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre This site offers simple rules for parets to help prevet abductio ad sexual exploitatio through teachable momets. NetSmartz Kids Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre This is a fu ad iteractive site to teach childre how to be safe both olie ad i their everyday lives. The site features games, puzzles, pritout activity books, ad videos. WebWiseKids This site provides a free, dowloadable educatio program to help parets teach tees ad youg childre about the various dagers associated with iappropriate Iteret use. Dees, T Iteret predators: Missig. Law ad Order 52(8). This article describes a video game (available for dowload) that teaches youth about the dagers of iteractig with predators o the Iteret. Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio. A Paret s Guide to Iteret Safety. This guide iforms parets about the dagers of olie child exploitatio ad teaches them how to moitor childre s Iteret ad telephoe use. Federal Trade Commissio Social Networkig Sites: A Paret s Guide. This guide ecourages parets ad childre to talk about the risks ivolved i usig social etworkig sites ad offers tips for usig them safely. It icludes resources for more iformatio. Fikelhor, D., Mitchell, K., ad Wolak, J Olie Victimizatio: A Report o the Natio s Youth. Alexadria, VA: Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre. This report provides iformatio o the threat, icidece rate, ad victim respose to olie predators. 77

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95 Additioal Resources A umber of orgaizatios ad agecies i both the public ad private sector work with parets whose childre are missig. These agecies ca provide iformatio, assistace with photo ad flier productio ad distributio, referral services, ad ivestigative resources for you, your family, ad law eforcemet. Private Resources Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre (NCMEC) NCMEC serves a variety of fuctios: Distributio of pictures ad posters of missig childre worldwide. Provisio of iformatio ad techical assistace to citizes. Provisio of traiig, techical assistace, ad techical support to state missig childre s clearighouses ad to state ad local law eforcemet agecies. You ca call NCMEC to get copies of its itake ad release forms mailed or set to you via fax ad to get iformatio o how you ca have a color picture of your child posted o NCMEC s Web site, distributed to NCMEC s photo parters, ad prited o fliers for you to distribute. NCMEC also maages ad coordiates Project ALERT (America s Law Eforcemet Retiree Team) ad Team Adam, free cosultatio services o missig childre cases for law eforcemet agecies. NCMEC s Family Advocacy Divisio also supports Team H.O.P. E., a paret-to-paret metorig service. Team H.O.P.E. is a atioal support etwork that matches left-behid parets with traied paret voluteer metors who have experieced a abductio i their ow families. Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre 699 Price Street Alexadria, VA THE LOST ( ) (Hotlie for the Uited States, Caada, ad Mexico), (TTY), or (Fax) Iteret: CyberTiplie: Brach Offices Califoria: Florida: Collier Couty: Kasas City (MO): New York (Rochester) (Buffalo) (Mohawk Valley) South Carolia: Texas: Team H.O.P.E HOPE ( ) Iteret: or cotact NCMEC at Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, Ic. (AMECO) AMECO is a atioal associatio of missig ad exploited childre s orgaizatios that work together to serve ad protect missig childre ad their families. AMECO seeks to improve both the capabilities of oprofit missig childre s orgaizatios ad the overall quality of services provided through certificatio of its member orgaizatios. AMECO develops stadards for missig childre s 79

96 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e orgaizatios, provides outreach ad assistace to local oprofit orgaizatios, ad establishes guidelies for oprofit agecies that serve missig childre ad their families. You ca cotact AMECO to fid out the ames of oprofit missig childre s orgaizatios both i your commuity ad throughout the coutry that ca provide assistace ad support to you ad your family. Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, Ic. Iteret: Other Noprofit Orgaizatios A umber of private oprofit orgaizatios provide services to families whose childre have bee abducted. Before you cotact such a orgaizatio, however, ask NCMEC or AMECO to tell you which orgaizatios meet their requiremets for certificatio or membership. You might also wat to talk with your law eforcemet cotact ad with the parets of other missig childre. Be wary of orgaizatios that promise they ca fid your missig child, that request paymet for these services, or that are ukow i this field. Victim s Advocates Ask your law eforcemet cotact to arrage to have a victim s advocate come to your home to explai your rights ad to explore the couselig, treatmet, ad related services available to you. Victim s advocates are usually associated with the offices of the sheriff, the state prosecutor, or the district attorey. If you have access to the Iteret, you ca fid a list of victim advocacy ad compesatio groups at the Office for Victims of Crime Web site (www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc). Federal Resources o Missig ad Exploited Childre: A Directory for Law Eforcemet ad Other Public ad Private Agecies (see Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources) also cotais a list of victim s advocate services ad orgaizatios. Paret Survivors Talkig with parets who have survived a similar ordeal ca help you regai your saity ad icrease your effectiveess i the search for your child, for oly they ca truly uderstad your pai ad aguish. The parets who helped to write this Guide are willig to talk to you. To cotact ay of the paret authors, call the Child Protectio Divisio at the Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio ( ). Other victim help groups are listed i Federal Resources o Missig ad Exploited Childre: A Directory for Law Eforcemet ad Other Public ad Private Agecies (see Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources). I additio, Team H.O.P.E. ca coect traied paret voluteers who ca provide advice, assistace, ad ecouragemet to other paret victims. Paret survivors ad voluteers ca also be reached through Team H.O.P. E. at HOPE ( ). Local Busiesses Local busiesses i your commuity ca provide a umber of goods ad services that will be eeded i the search for your child. I additio, with permissio you ca post your child s picture i store widows, o doors, ad o the backs of trucks. See chapter 5 (Voluteers) for a list of the types of orgaizatios ad busiesses that may be willig to help. 80

97 A d d i t i o a l R e s o u r c e s Govermet Resources Federal Agecies May federal agecies provide techical support ad services to law eforcemet ad other public ad private agecies to aid i the search ad recovery of a missig child. A comprehesive list of these services is available i Federal Resources o Missig ad Exploited Childre: A Directory for Law Eforcemet ad Other Public ad Private Agecies (see Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources). The agecies listed below, which have bee refereced throughout this Guide, provide support ad/or ivestigative services to missig ad exploited childre ad their families. Child Protectio Divisio The Child Protectio Divisio provides support to several missig ad exploited childre s orgaizatios, icludig NCMEC, AMECO, ad Team H.O.P. E.; provides techical assistace ad traiig to law eforcemet to improve their ivestigatio of missig ad exploited childre cases; produces reports to improve services to missig ad exploited childre ad their families; ad coducts research related to missig ad exploited childre. For iformatio about ay of these activities or the orgaizatios listed above, call the Child Protectio Divisio at the phoe umber listed below. Child Protectio Divisio Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio Office of Justice Programs U.S. Departmet of Justice 810 Seveth Street NW. Washigto, DC (Fax) Iteret: Office for Victims of Crime (OVC) OVC makes awards each year to state crime victim compesatio ad assistace programs to supplemet state fudig for victim services. Crime victim compesatio is the direct paymet to a crime victim or to his or her family to help cover crime-related expeses, such as medical treatmet, metal health couselig, lost wages, or fueral services. Every state admiisters a crime victim compesatio program, ad most programs have similar eligibility requiremets ad offer a comparable rage of beefits. Crime victim assistace programs provide direct services, such as crisis itervetio, couselig, emergecy trasportatio to court, temporary housig, ad crimial justice support ad advocacy. For iformatio about these programs, cotact your local crime victim compesatio program or crime victim assistace program. Federal Resources o Missig ad Exploited Childre: A Directory for Law Eforcemet ad Other Public ad Private Agecies (see Recommeded Readigs ad Other Resources) cotais a listig of all state offices. Office for Victims of Crime Office of Justice Programs U.S. Departmet of Justice 810 Seveth Street NW. Washigto, DC (Fax) Iteret: Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio FBI Headquarters Special Ivestigatios ad Iitiatives Uit Crimes Agaist Childre Uit 935 Pesylvaia Aveue NW. Washigto, DC (Fax) (See the frot of your local telephoe book for the umber of your local FBI Field Office.) 81

98 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e The Crimes Agaist Childre Uit works closely with FBI Field Offices ad other FBI compoets to coordiate operatioal support to more effectively address crimes agaist childre. The FBI Field Offices house Crimes Agaist Childre Coordiators, who use all available ivestigative, tactical, foresic, iformatioal, ad behavioral sciece resources i the ivestigatio of crimes agaist childre. Missig Childre s Clearighouses 1 Missig childre s clearighouses are state govermet agecies coected with law eforcemet. Because the types of services available i each state vary substatially, you eed to call your state clearighouse to fid out both what services are available to help you i your search ad whether the clearighouse will distribute photographs of your missig child. The you ca call other state clearighouses i your regio ad throughout the atio to compare services ad take advatage of those ot available to you istate. Keep a list of what you lear about each clearighouse i a spiral otebook for later use. Alabama Alabama Bureau of Ivestigatio Missig ad Exploited Childre P.O. Box 1511 Motgomery, AL (Fax) Iteret: ORI: ALAST0047 Alaska Alaska State Troopers Missig Persos Clearighouse 5700 East Tudor Road Achorage, AK or (Fax) ORI: AKAST0100 Arizoa Arizoa Departmet of Public Safety Crimial Ivestigatios Research Uit P.O. Box 6638 Phoeix, AZ (Fax) ORI: AZ Arkasas Arkasas Office of the Attorey Geeral Missig Childre Services Program 323 Ceter Street, Suite 1100 Little Rock, AR (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: AR060035A Califoria Califoria Departmet of Justice Missig ad Uidetified Persos Uit P.O. Box Sacrameto, CA (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: CA The ORI umbers followig may of the clearighouses i this list are assiged by the Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter to law eforcemet agecies for admiistrative purposes. 82

99 A d d i t i o a l R e s o u r c e s Colorado Colorado Bureau of Ivestigatio Missig Perso/Childre Uit 710 Kiplig Street, Suite 200 Dever, CO (Fax) ORI: COCBI0009 Coecticut Coecticut State Police Missig Persos P.O. Box 2794 Middletow, CT (i-state oly), (emergecy messagig), or (Fax) ORI: CTCSP2900 Delaware Delaware State Police State Bureau of Idetificatio 1407 North DuPot Highway Dover, DE (Fax) ORI: DEDSP0001 District of Columbia D.C. Metropolita Police Departmet Missig Persos/Youth Divisio 1700 Rhode Islad Aveue NE. Washigto, DC (Fax) ORI: DCMPD0000 Florida Florida Departmet of Law Eforcemet Missig Childre Iformatio Clearighouse P.O. Box 1489 Tallahassee, FL or (Fax) Iteret: Georgia Georgia Bureau of Ivestigatio Itelligece Uit P.O. Box Decatur, GA or (Fax) ORI: GAGBI0050 Hawaii Hawaii State Clearighouse o Missig Childre Departmet of the Attorey Geeral 235 South Beretaia Street, Suite 206 Hoolulu, HI (Hotlie) (Fax) Iteret: Idaho Idaho Bureau of Crimial Idetificatio Missig Persos Clearighouse P.O. Box 700 Meridia, ID or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: ID001015Y Illiois Illiois State Police 500 Iles Park Place, Suite 104 Sprigfield, IL or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: IL Idiaa Idiaa State Police Idiaa Missig Childre Clearighouse Third Floor North 100 North Seate Aveue Idiaapolis, IN or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: INISP

100 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Iowa Missig Perso Iformatio Clearighouse Divisio of Crimial Ivestigatios Wallace State Office Buildig East 9th ad Grad Des Moies, IA or (Fax) Iteret: Kasas Kasas Bureau of Ivestigatio Missig Persos Clearighouse 1620 SW. Tyler Street Topeka, KS or (Fax) Iteret: or ORI: KSKBI0000 Ketucky Ketucky State Police 1240 Airport Road Frakfort, KY (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: mchild.htm ORI: KYSKP0022 Louisiaa Louisiaa Departmet of Social Services Louisiaa Clearighouse for Missig ad Exploited Childre Office of Commuity Services P.O. Box 3318 Bato Rouge, LA (Fax) Maie Maie State Police Missig Childre Clearighouse State House Statio Meadow Road Augusta, ME (Fax) ORI: MEMSP0000 Marylad Marylad Ceter for Missig Childre Marylad State Police Computer Crimes Uit 7155 Columbia Gateway Drive, Suite C Columbia, MD or (Fax) ORI: MDMSP9500 Massachusetts Massachusetts State Police Missig Persos Uit 470 Worchester Road Framigham, MA (i-state oly) or (Fax) ORI: MAMSP0070 Michiga Michiga State Police Prevetio Services Uit 714 South Harriso Road Lasig, MI (24-hour emergecy lie) (Fax) Miesota Miesota State Clearighouse Bureau of Crimial Apprehesio 1430 Marylad Aveue St. Paul, MN (Fax) 84

101 A d d i t i o a l R e s o u r c e s Mississippi Mississippi Highway Patrol 3891 Highway 486 West Jackso, MS (Fax) Missouri Missouri State Highway Patrol Divisio of Drug ad Crime Cotrol P.O. Box 568 Jefferso City, MO or (Fax) ORI: MOMHP0014 ORI: MOMHP0007 Motaa Motaa Departmet of Justice Missig/Uidetified Persos P.O. Box North Roberts Street, Room 374 Helea, MT (Fax) ORI: MT025045Y Nebraska Nebraska State Patrol Crimial Records ad Idetificatio Divisio P.O. Box Licol, NE / (Fax) Nevada Nevada Office of the Attorey Geeral Nevada Missig Childre Clearighouse 555 East Washigto Aveue, Suite 3900 Las Vegas, NV (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: Frauduits/MissigKids/miss_kids.htm ORI: NV018025A New Hampshire New Hampshire State Police Ivestigative Services Bureau Major Crimes Uit 91 Airport Road Cocord, NH (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: NHNSP0800 New Jersey New Jersey State Police Uidetified Persos Uit P.O. Box 7068 West Treto, NJ or (Fax) Iteret: mpce-uit.html ORI: NJNSP0032 New Mexico New Mexico Departmet of Public Safety ATTN: Law Eforcemet Records P.O. Box 1628 Sata Fe, NM (Fax) New York New York Divisio of Crimial Justice Service Missig ad Exploited Childre 4 Tower Place Albay, NY or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: NY001025Y 85

102 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e North Carolia North Carolia Ceter for Missig Persos 4706 Mail Service Ceter Raleigh, NC (i-state oly) or (Fax) ORI: NCNHP0000 North Dakota North Dakota Bureau of Crimial Ivestigatio P.O. Box 1054 Bismarck, ND (Fax) ORI: NDRCD0000 Ohio Missig Childre Clearighouse Attorey Geeral s Office Crime Victims Services Sectio 65 East State Street, Fifth Floor Columbus, OH or (Fax) Iteret: Oklahoma Oklahoma State Bureau of Ivestigatio Crimial Itelligece Office 6600 North Harvey Oklahoma City, OK (Fax) ORI: OKOBI0000 Orego Orego State Police Missig Childre Clearighouse 400 Public Service Buildig Salem, OR (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: OROSP0003 OROSP0004 Pesylvaia Pesylvaia State Police Bureau of Crimial Ivestigatio 1800 Elmerto Aveue Harrisburg, PA (Fax) ORI: PAPSP0012 Rhode Islad Rhode Islad State Police Missig ad Exploited Childre Uit 311 Daielso Pike North Scituate, RI (Fax) ORI: RIRSP0001 South Carolia South Carolia Law Eforcemet Divisio Missig Perso Iformatio Ceter P.O. Box Columbia, SC or (Fax) ORI: SCLED00M0 South Dakota South Dakota Attorey Geeral s Office Divisio of Crimial Ivestigatio East Highway 34 c/o 500 East Capitol Aveue Pierre, SD (Fax) ORI: SDDCI0000 Teessee Teessee Bureau of Ivestigatio Crimial Itelligece Uit 901 R.S. Gass Boulevard Nashville, TN (Fax) ORI: TNTBI

103 A d d i t i o a l R e s o u r c e s Texas Texas Departmet of Public Safety Special Crimes Services P.O. Box 4087 Austi, TX (i-state oly) or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: TXDPS4300 Utah Utah Departmet of Public Safety Bureau of Crimial Idetificatio P.O. Box Salt Lake City, UT or (Fax) Vermot Vermot State Police 103 South Mai Street Waterbury, VT (Fax) Virgiia Virgiia State Police Departmet Missig Childre s Clearighouse P.O. Box Richmod, VA (i-state oly) or (Fax) ORI: VAVSP0000 Washigto Washigto State Patrol Missig Childre Clearighouse P.O. Box 2347 Olympia, WA (Fax) ORI: WAWSP00L1 West Virgiia West Virgiia State Police Missig Childre Clearighouse 725 Jefferso Road South Charlesto, WV (i-state oly) or (Fax) Wiscosi Wiscosi Departmet of Justice Divisio of Crimial Ivestigatio P.O. Box 7857 Madiso, WI THE HOPE ( ) (i-state oly) or (Fax) ORI: WI013015Y Wyomig Wyomig Office of the Attorey Geeral Divisio of Crimial Ivestigatio 316 West 22d Cheyee, WY (Fax) ORI: WY Caada Royal Caadia Mouted Police Missig Childre s Registry P.O. Box Vaier Parkway Ottawa, Otario, CN K1G 3MB (toll free i North America) or (Fax) Iteret: ORI: ON

104 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Puerto Rico Missig Childre Program Cetro Estatal Para Niños Desaparecidos y Victimas de Abuso P.O. Box Old Sa Jua, PR NINO (limited callig area) (Fax) U.S. Virgi Islads U.S. Virgi Islads Police Departmet Patrick Sweeey Police Headquarters RR02 Kigshill St. Croix, VI (Fax) Netherlads Police Dutch Natioal Police P.O. Box KX Zoetermeer The Netherlads Street Address: Europeiweg KX Zoetermeer The Netherlads (Fax) Iteret: The most up-to-date iformatio is available at click o Missig-Child Clearighouse Program. Iformatio is subject to chage. 88

105 About the Paret Authors Heather Cox ad Mario Boburka, mother ad gradmother, respectively, of Shelby Marie Cox, have bee strog propoets for missig ad exploited childre ad their families sice 4-yearold Shelby disappeared o November 13, She was playig o the family porch with her older sister ad frieds. After a 5-day search, Shelby s battered body was foud i a eighbor s shed, killed by a 18-year-old boy who later cofessed. Shelby was a joyous child, Heather writes, who saw the woders of this world ad embraced every oe of them. She saw the magic i the clouds, the woder of a raibow, the beauty of a flower i bloom. She Shelby Cox was full of spuk ad mischievousess ad laughter. To say we miss her does t eve come close to how deep our feeligs are. Istead, we fight for the childre, for Shelby s peers, so that people will lear, ad the Shelby s life ad death will ot have bee i vai. Collee Nick, mother of Morga Chautel Nick, has bee a spokesperso ad champio for missig childre ad their families sice Morga s ab ductio o Jue 9, Six-year-old Morga was last see at 10:45 p.m., while playig at a little league ball game i Alma, AR. She was stadig ear her mother s car where she had stopped to empty sad from her shoes. Witesses observed a ma watchig Morga as she played with other childre. The ma was described as white, 6 feet tall, 20 to 40 years old, with black or salt ad pepper hair. Collee writes, You are a woderful fried, a treasured daughter, a lovig big sister, a blessig we caot live without. We Morga Nick feel cheated every day that goes by ad we do ot see your smile, hear your bubbly laughter, or liste to your thoughts ad ideas. We kow that the world was deprived of somethig very precious ad uique whe you were take from us. We have ever stopped believig that we will fid you. We will ever give up hope. Always kow that you are loved. Most of all, do t ever give up. We will fid you. We promise. 89

106 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e Do ad Claudie Ryce, parets of Jimmy Ryce, have devoted their lives to gettig kids home safe. O September 11, 1995, Jimmy was walkig home from the bus stop whe he was abducted at gupoit, sexually molested, ad murdered. His parets believe he could have bee foud if bloodhouds had bee available. As cofouders of the Jimmy Ryce Ceter for Victims of Predatory Abductio, Do ad Claudie have worked to establish a etwork of bloodhouds across the coutry; coordiated a petitio drive that resulted i Presidet Clito s sigig of a Executive memoradum requirig that missig childre s pictures be posted Jimmy Ryce i federal buildigs ad atioal parks; worked to place missig childre s pictures o billboards ad i every driver s licese reewal packet set out i Florida; ad helped the Dade Couty School Board implemet the Jimmy Ryce Predator Notificatio Act by sedig home with each child pictures of covicted sexual predators livig i the couty. The Ryces write, Childre are their ow last defese agaist sexual predators. To make childre more predator resistat, we are developig a Web site (http://jimmyryce.org) where childre ca lear how to recogize dagerous situatios ad how to get away. It takes a lot of imagiatio ad hard work to make our childre safer, but we ca do it together. Sed us your ideas at Patrick Sessios, father of Tiffay Sessios, has devoted much of his eergy to helpig protect other childre who may be victimized ad providig support ad ecouragemet to their families. Tiffay was last see o February 9, 1989, at 6 p.m., walkig i Gaiesville, FL. She was 20 years old ad had blode hair ad blue eyes. It is the hope of the Sessios family, Patrick writes, that this Guide will be of help to families who may fid themselves i the difficult positio of searchig for a loved oe. Although the Tiffay Sessios search for Tiffay has ot bee successful, may other families prayers have bee aswered with the retur of their loved oes. Literally thousads of people, both frieds ad stragers, reached out to help i the search for Tiffay, ad those hard-leared lessos are icluded i this Guide. Our small part i helpig prepare this Guide is dedicated to all the people who have helped Tiffay ad the other childre who have eeded their help ad support. Thaks to those people, we have the stregth ad determiatio to cotiue our search for Tiffay. 90

107 A b o u t t h e P a r e t A u t h o r s Patty Wetterlig, mother of Jacob Wetterlig, has devoted her life to child safety issues. She is a foudig member of the board of directors of the Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, a cofouder of the Jacob Wetterlig Foudatio, ad a member of the board of directors of the Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre. Her most recet accomplishmets iclude passage of the Jacob Wetterlig Crimes Agaist Childre Registratio Act, a federal law requirig covicted sex offeders to register their place of residece with local law eforcemet after release from priso. O October 22, 1989, Jacob was abducted at gupoit ear the Wetterlig home ad has ot bee see sice. Patty writes, I thik Jacob Wetterlig about you every day ad woder what you would have become had you ot bee stole from us. It s so ufair. If you re ot alive, we eed to kow. Some oe has bee torturig us for far too log. I still look everywhere I go at faces, ad I keep askig everyoe else to look, too. Sometimes people who were badly victimized forget who they are. I m still askig the whole world to help. Do t give up your dreams, Jacob. They ca still come true if you hope ad do t give up. We re still searchig for you ad we will ever quit util we kow who did this, what happeed, ad where you are. Forever ad always, I love you. 91

108

109 Idex AMBER Alert Pla, 2, 4, 17, 21 AMECO. See Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, Ic. age-progressed photographs, 9, 41 alcohol, use of, 62 America s Most Wated, 19, 27, 41 ager, copig with, 62, 63, 65, 66 Associatio of Missig ad Exploited Childre s Orgaizatios, Ic., 8, 9, 40, 50, 79 80, 81 BOLO. See Be O the Look Out bulleti Be O the Look Out bulleti, 2, 21 bill payig, 71 birthdays, 28, 31, 41, 55 chages i celebratig, 65 blame, copig with, 62, 63 blog, 22 bloodhouds, 3, 7, 50, 90 broadcast fax, 41 buttos, 9, 31, 42, 45 child advocate, 18 child, descriptio of missig, 2, 4, 14, 26, 33, 37 Child Protectio Divisio, 63, 80, 81 childre. See sibligs computer, 2, 14, 22, 40 coordiator of media evets, 67 of photo distributio, 40 of posters, 45 of voluteers, 47, 49, 67 couselig, 62, 63, 64, 66, 67, 80 Crime Stoppers, 9, 45, 59 DNA evidece, 14, 21 detal records, 15 depressio, copig with, 62, 63, 66 descriptio, of missig child, 2, 4, 14, 26, 33, 37 digitized photographs, 26, 33, 37, 40 disappearace, classificatio of, 19 dogs, trackig ad trailig, 3, 6, 7, 14, 21. See also bloodhouds doatios, accoutig for, drugs, use of, 62 , 19, 30, 40, 41, 42, 47. See also Iteret Emergecy Alert System, 4 emotios, 62, 63, 66. See also metal health evidece, collectio of, 2, 5, 14, 52. See also DNA evidece exercise, importace of, 61 extortio, 3, 22, 57 FBI. See Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio Facebook, 2 Family Advocacy Divisio, 50. See also Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre family meetigs, 28, 65 family spokesperso, 3, 26, 27, 67 fax machies, use of, 40, 42 fear, copig with, 62, 63, 65, 66 Federal Bureau of Ivestigatio, 2, Evidece Respose Teams, 6 Field Office resources, 3, 6, 21, 41, 82 special reward fuds, 56 fiacial assistace, 71 fiacial cocers, 56, 71 fliers distributio of, 9, 31, 37, 40 42, 45, 47, 48, 65, 67 samples, grief, copig with, 62, 63, 64, 66, 67 helicopters, 6, 21 holidays, chages i celebratig, 65 hope, 1, 61, 64 ifrared, 6, 21 Iteret sites, 2, 15 surfig, 14 use of, 40, 48, 80 See also , Web site iterviews with law eforcemet, 18 with the media, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33 34, 41, 42, 65 joural, persoal, 8, 62 93

110 F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e laughter, 64 law eforcemet backgroud checks, 7 case coordiator, 2, 6, 8, classificatio of disappearace, 19 criticism of, 34 descriptios to, 2 3, 14, 37 disclosure of iformatio to the media, 3, 4, 14, 19, 25 26, 33, 34 expectatios of, 17 leads for, 3, 9, 10 11, 59 partership with, photographs for, 14, 15 questios from, 18 ad rewards, 55 role i search, 5 7 search ad recovery pla, 5 6, See also primary law eforcemet cotact, Team Adam media choice of family spokesperso, 3, 26, 27, 67 deadlies, 27 disclosure of iformatio to, 19, 34 evets, 3, 26, 28, 31 groud rules for, 26, 65 hooks, 28, 30 packages, public relatios experts, 30 See also iterviews; law eforcemet, disclosure of iformatio to the media; press cofereces; press kits; press releases medical records, 3, 15 metal health takig care of exteded family members, 67 takig care of your other childre, takig care of yourself, 3, missig childre s clearighouses. See state missig childre s clearighouses missig childre s orgaizatios photo distributio, 2, 40, 42 resources available from, 8, 9, 26, 64, 66, 67, Missig-Child Clearighouse Program, 88 Missig Persos File. See Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter, Missig Persos File MySpace, 2 NCIC. See Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter NCMEC. See Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre Natioal Ceter for Missig & Exploited Childre assistace from, 9, 26, 27, 41, 66 photo distributio, 2, 8, 40, 41, 42 publicatios, resources, 3, 6, 8, 9, 19, 21, 40, 45, 50, 79 See also Project ALERT, Team H.O.P.E., Team Adam, ad Family Advocacy Divisio Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter, Missig Persos File, 2, 21 Natioal Missig Childre s Day, 28 Noprofit orgaizatio, 68 otebooks, uses for, 3, 6, 8, 52, 82 Office for Victims of Crime, 71, 80, 81 Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio, 63, 80 parets privacy issues, 27 28, 29 reactio to media coverage, 25 relatioship with law eforcemet, 6, respose to disappearace, 1 role i search, 5, 8, 14 as suspects, 18 See also metal health peer support, 63, 66 photographs age-progressed, 9, 41 digitized, 26, 33, 37, 40 distributio coordiator, 40 distributio of, 2, 8, 37, for law eforcemet, 14, 15 for the media, 26, 33 pledges, moetary, 56 police reports, 8 politicias, gettig help from, 9, 28, 31, 41 polygraph testig, 3, 18 posters, distributio of, 3, 9, 21, 31, 41 42, 47, 48, 50, 67 press cofereces, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31, 34 press kits, 41 press releases, 3, 28, 30, 31, 41, 42 94

111 I d e x primary law eforcemet cotact, 2, 6, 8, 18 19, 31, 41, 45, 49, 50, 55, 56, 63, 65, 66, 80 privacy issues, 26, 27, 29 Project ALERT, 79 private detectives, 10 psychics, public awareess evets, 31 questios from law eforcemet, 18 from the media, 26, radio, 4, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 41 registry of missig persos. See Natioal Crime Iformatio Ceter, Missig Persos File religio, 63 rewards amout of, 56 choice of tiplies, 8, 9, 59 disposal of excess fuds, 57 publicity for, 26 purpose of, 55 use of, 3, See also doatios, special reward fuds school, returig to, 66 search Iteret, 6 law eforcemet s role i, 5 7 parets role i, 5, 8, 14 types of, 6 7 voluteers role i, 7 8, 47 50, 52 sibligs, sig-i procedures, for voluteers, 7, 52 social etworkig sites, 2, 15, 22 special reward fuds, 56 state missig childre s clearighouses, photo distributio, 2, 40 resources available from, 8, 9, 19, 21, 26, 40, 59, 63, 66, 71 stress, hadlig, 28, suspects, possible, 7, 14 15, 18, 21, 28 T-shirts, 31, 42 talk shows, 41, 43 Team Adam, 8, 21, 79 Team H.O.P.E., 50, 63, 79, 80 telephoe caller ID, 3, 6 cell phoes, 2, 3, 4, 6, 19, 22 how to aswer, 3, 6, 48, 59, 67 televisio, 4, 25, 27, 29, 30, 31, 40 text messages, 4, 22 therapy. See couselig tiplies, 9, 45, 59 Twitter, 22 victim s advocates, 63, 80 Victim s Bill of Rights, 29 victim s compesatio fuds, 71, 80 videotapes, of missig child, 15, 33, 37, 40 voluteers activities for, 3, 8, 10, 30, 48, 52 coordiator of, 47, 49, 67 discomfort with, 11, role i search, 7 8, 47 50, 52 sig-i procedures, 7, 52 stagig area, 7 use of established groups, 7, 49 Web site, 3, 9, 26, 40, 48, 67 witesses, 3, 7, 22 work, returig to, 64, 71 x rays, 3, 15 95

112

113

114 U.S. Departmet of Justice Office of Justice Programs Office of Juveile Justice ad Deliquecy Prevetio Washigto, DC Official Busiess Pealty for Private Use $300 OJJDP Report *NCJ~228735* PRESORTED STANDARD POSTAGE & FEES PAID DOJ/OJJDP PERMIT NO. G 91

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