Peer Coaching. Discovery Activity Choose Option #1 or #2. Option #1. Facilitator Guide empowered by (SG) 2

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1 Peer Coaching Objective: To introduce the concept of peer coaching and to highlight the GROW model. Each participant will practice the skill of asking questions using the GROW format Discovery Activity Choose Option #1 or #2 Option #1 Show a movie clip from Patch Adams entitled A Fun Hospital (1:04:20 mark). (If your local video rental store does not carry this movie, you can order it online on or similar websites.) End the scene (1:08:54 mark) as Karin walks off after they have dreamed together on the park bench. Highlight that you want everyone to watch for the role that friends played in the scene. Set the clip up by letting them know where the scene picks up: Patch Adams was an unconventional but inspiring doctor-intraining. We pick up the scene when Patch has just watched one of his favorite patients die. As he walks down the hallway he is confronted with a panic stricken mother whose family has just been in a terrible car accident. Watch what happens to and in Patch as this scene unfolds. Also, watch the dynamics between Patch and Karin.

2 Debrief Question #1: What was going on inside of Patch in this scene? Question #2: What was going on inside of Karin in this scene? Peer Coaching Question #3: In what ways was the interaction between Patch and Karin like Iron Sharpens Iron? In other words, what did Karin offer to Patch and what did Patch offer to Karin? Option #2: The Blind Walk Pair up people for this exercise. Give out the following instructions: One person will close their eyes while the other leads them around by giving only verbal instructions. You may not open your eyes if you are being led around. I will call time after 3 or 4 and at this point you are to switch roles. Start the Blind Walk outside if weather or conditions make it permissible. Debrief Question #1: What were some of the feelings and reactions you had when you the blind person? Question #2: What was it like leading the blind person? Question #3: How does this blind walk experience highlight the kind of things that a friend can offer to us? Learning Activity: The Power of a Peer Ask everyone to turn to the two-page article entitled, The Power of a Peer. Encourage them to read slowly and to underline thoughts and ideas that stand out to them. After everyone has read, ask a few open-ended questions: Question #1: When you think of peers in the Bible, what peer relationships come to mind and what impact did these peers have on each other s lives? (Typically people will highlight David and Jonathan, Paul and Barnabas, Peter and John, etc.) Question #2: What stood out to you about Ecclesiastes 4:9-12? Question #3: What are some of the things that hinder us from experiencing the Ecclesiastes 4 kinds of friendships?

3 Peer Coaching The Power of a Peer Aelred of Rievaulx wrote these thoughtful words in the twelfth century: A man is to be compared to a beast if he has no one to rejoice with him in adversity, no one to whom to unburden his mind if any annoyance crosses his path or with whom to share some unusually sublime or illuminating inspiration...he is entirely alone who is without a friend. But what happiness, what security, what joy to have someone to whom you dare to speak on terms of equality as to another self; one to whom you can unblushingly make known what progress you have made in the spiritual life; one to whom you can entrust all the secrets of your heart and before whom you can place all your plans. (Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction by Guenther, 1992) ) Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 puts it this way. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. These verses indicate that there are a number of benefits of two people getting together rather than going it alone. Two are better than one because there is a greater fruit produced by the efforts of two people in partnership than one working by himself (4:8). Two people working together will outperform an individual in accomplishing a task in a shorter period of time and with a more satisfying result. Whybray comments that the word sakar, frequently monetary payment for work done, here has the wider meaning of a satisfactory or pleasant outcome... (1989:87). In other words, two working together will achieve an outcome that is more enjoyable and satisfying than solitary effort. The premise that two are better than one is additionally illustrated in three ways in the context of two people taking a journey together. In the first example, a companion can be helpful when the other has fallen down. A fall into a ditch or pit (cf. Gen. 14:10; Luke 6:39) is the background...a lonely fall might be fatal, especially at night. The proverb, however, looks beyond physical mishap; slips of judgment and other types of falling by wayside equally need a helping hand (Eaton 1983:94).

4 Peer Coaching The second example relates to the warmth that is created when two lie close to one another on a cold night. Huddling together was a matter of common sense during the winter months in Palestine (Whybray 1989:87). Eaton argues that the proverb has broader implications which relate to man s need for companionship when entering temptation, suffering, or grief (1983:94). In other words, there are times when the conditions of life are so severe that the presence of another brings the needed comfort to weather the storm. A third illustration is taken from a burglar or thief who, along the way, seeks to overpower an individual. One in isolation may not have the strength to resist. However, two in partnership have a greater opportunity and will be able to stand up to the one seeking to overpower them. The passage ends with a reference to a chord of three strands. We can only speculate on the specific meaning and the placement of this proverb which comes at the end of a discussion about the power of companionship. However, there is general agreement that the passage moves up numerically from emphasis on the individual, to the benefit of two, and then the strength of three. The sense of the passage seems to indicate that there is increasing strength in numbers. Blessing increases as an individual moves from independence to greater interdependence with other people. 30 Practice Activity: An Introduction to Peer Coaching Using GROW One of the distinctives of Groups Ablaze is the emphasis on coaching relationships for growth, accountability, and the sharing of ideas. In the first module, the GROW model was introduced.this will be your second opportunity to practice coaching someone else using the Grow model.

5 Peer Coaching Adapted from the book Coaching for Performance by John Whitmore Goal What s our Goal? What do you need to talk about today? What s a good outcome of our time together? Here s a couple of items I d like to talk about Reality What s your reality? Tell me more about What s going on? What s been challenging? How has that been challenging? Why? Why? Why? Options Let s explore some options What are some possible ways forward? What has worked before? Will What will you do? What can I hold you accountable for? What would you like me to ask you about next time? What are you going to act on from our time together today? 5 Facilitator Instructions: After you have walked everyone through the four stages of the GROW model, break the room up into pairs for a time to practice the new model. Here are a few ground rules to share with everyone: 1. Try to ask questions only...this is a model built on the ability to draw a person out through asking questions. 2. No fixing! Try to resist the temptation to tell the other person what they should do or even give advice. It s a time to listen and draw the other person out. 3. Quickly decide on an issue that you would like to be coached on that relates to the Groups Ablaze material. Once you have told your partner what you want to talk about, go right into the Reality section of the model. 4. You have 10 to coach. After I call time, I will ask the person to give you some brief feedback about what you did well and if they have one polishing comment for you to consider. After the feedback we will switch roles. Debrief Application Activity Facilitator Instructions: As a group review the Peer Coaching Questions for the Four Factors on the following page.

6 Goal To establish the goal: Peer Coaching Peer Coaching Questions for the Four Factors 1. Which one of the four factors would you like to talk about? 2. Which of the four factors do you feel that you need to improve in the most? 3. Which of the four factors is going to be most challenging for you? 4. Which of the four factors would be most beneficial for you to talk about? Reality To get inside a leader s reality: 1. Tell me about the score that you gave yourself on this factor? 2. Help me understand what s going on in your group that relates to this factor? 3. What are some challenges you might face in trying to improve in this factor? 4. Why? Why? Why? (Allow the simple question, Why?, to allow you and the leader to drill down deeper.) Options To help a leader frame some options: 1. What are some possible steps you could take to improve in this factor? 2. What has worked in the past? 3. What s one thing you could do that would bring the greatest change or impact in this area? Will To help a leader decide on what he s going to do: 1. Of all the things that we ve talked about, what do you intend to take action on? 2. What action step or steps can I hold you accountable for? 3. What will you do as a result of our discussion?