In some states, however, the couple must live apart for a period of months or years before they can obtain a no fault divorce.

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1 What is a "no faut" divorce? "No faut" divorce describes any divorce where the spouse asking for a divorce does not have to prove that the other spouse did something wrong. A states aow no faut divorces. To get a no faut divorce, one spouse must simpy state a reason for the divorce that is recognized by the state. In most states, it's enough to decare that the coupe cannot get aong (this reason goes by such names as "incompatibiity," "irreconciabe differences," or "irremediabe breakdown of the marriage"). In some states, however, the coupe must ive apart for a period of months or years before they can obtain a no faut divorce. How divorce awyers work. You probaby know of peope who suffered the torments of he going through divorce, and you aso probaby know peope who pued it off without much fuss. Why are some divorces sensibe and others catastrophic? The answer depends on various factors, incuding the personaities of the peope invoved, the importance of what's at stake, and sometimes on how much you rey on awyers and courts to resove troubesome issues. In genera, the ess you use the court, the ess cost and heartache you' have -- and in many cases, you' get a better fina resut. But how do you avoid courts and awyers? 1 / 5

2 Make Divorce Decisions by Yourseves In theory, at east, it's simpe: You usuay do best if you and your spouse work out thorny issues together, perhaps with hep from a neutra third person, such as a mediator. You keep contro over such vita matters as how your chidren wi be raised, what happens to the famiy home, and how your property wi be divided. If you and your spouse can work these issues out yourseves -- and many, if not most, coupes can -- you wi save yourseves time, money, and anguish. More important, you wi spare your chidren the ugy spectace of extended parenta fights, heping them come through the divorce as undamaged as possibe. If you are abe to resove the big questions of chidren, money, and property, you then just need to ask the court, in writing, to grant a divorce. In many states, you don't even have to appear in court. Many courts now make it reativey easy for peope to hande an uncontested divorce without a awyer. Keep Divorce Lawyers from Fanning the Fames When you're emotionay distraught or angry, turning a the detais and hasse of a divorce over to a divorce awyer may seem ike a perfect soution. Unfortunatey, it doesn't aways simpify things. It's a about the awyer you hire, so it's criticay important that you find the right one. If you want a awyer's hep but you sti want to keep your divorce civi, make sure you hire a awyer who wi support that approach. When you interview awyers you're considering, ask them whether they fee favorabe about negotiating a settement rather than fighting it out in court. Lawyers operate under a prime directive: the zeaous pursuit of their cient's interests. If you make sure to et the awyer know that your interest is in an amicabe divorce, then that's what you shoud get. Unfortunatey, some awyers make it a practice to be as aggressive as possibe, and if your spouse finds a awyer ike that, you may have to fight fire with fire. In these cases, unfortunatey, the batte can go on and on, intensifying in passion, unti the cients run out of money and imp to the settement tabe. 2 / 5

3 Worse, if there are chidren, the fight depetes not ony your pocketbook, but aso your chidren's sense of security. Once the ega fight is over, trying to estabish a norma ongoing parenting reationship between both parents and the chidren can be very difficut. When a Divorcing Coupe Can Use One Lawyer Generay, one awyer can't work with both cients, because of the duty to of zeaous representation. But there's an exception to the rue. Joint representation is aowed when: the cients agree on the major issues the cients are confident they can work out the minor issues the cients understand that the awyer cannot fuy represent both under the circumstances the cients have agreed to this in writing, and the cients just want the awyer to do the paperwork. If a disagreement does arise, the awyer ethicay has to transfer at east one cient to another awyer. The awyer may have to transfer both cients to other awyers if the awyer has earned some things about the coupe that make it unfair for that awyer to continue to represent one of them. 3 / 5

4 How Coaborative Practice Works Some famiy awyers are trying a new method caed "coaborative practice," in which the cients and awyers agree that they wi not go to court but wi share information vountariy and work cooperativey toward a settement. Coaborative awyers wi take cases ony where the other spouse has aso hired a coaborative awyer, and the awyers sign an agreement that, if the case can't be setted, the parties have to hire another awyer to do the itigation. This removes the awyers' financia incentive to go to court and encourages everyone to sette earier. When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer It makes a ot of sense to hire a awyer if there is a rea probem with abuse -- spousa, chid, sexua, or substance. In that situation, a awyer can hep you get the arrangement you need to protect yoursef and your chidren. It can aso make sense to hire a awyer if your spouse is being dishonest or vindictive and you just can't cope with it. In that case, you may need someone to protect your interests. It's aso prudent to hire a awyer if your spouse has an attorney. This is especiay true if you have chidren or are facing compicated financia issues. It coud be difficut and emotionay intimidating to go head to head with a seasoned pro. If you can't afford a awyer, consider caing your oca ega aid office. If you quaify financiay, a awyer wi at a minimum discuss the ega aspects of your case with you and may continue to answer questions on an ongoing basis during your proceedings whie you represent yoursef. Ask whether the ega aid office has a pro bono program. The office may have a ist of private attorneys that are wiing to take on cases referred by ega aid at itte or no cost. If you don't quaify for ega services or pro bono hep, you' have to shop around for someone to represent you. 4 / 5

5 If You Fear Vioence If you fear that your spouse might harm you or your chidren (or abscond with your property), take action immediatey. Move to a safe pace, and, if necessary, get a temporary restraining order to keep the spouse away. It's very important that you aso get a temporary order for custody of your chidren, so that you're not accused of kidnapping. If you need money, you have the right to use your joint accounts. Take the amount of money you reaisticay need pus some extra for emergencies (but try not to take more than haf of what's there uness you absoutey have to), and immediatey fie an action in court for support. 5 / 5

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