AHLA. QQ. Legal Ethics: Disarming the Narcissistic Lawyer Legal Ethics in Addressing Not-so-Nice Opposing Counsel

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1 AHLA QQ. Legal Ethics: Disarming the Narcissistic Lawyer Legal Ethics in Addressing Not-so-Nice Opposing Counsel Ann M. Bittinger The Bittinger Law Firm Jacksonville, FL David S. Cade Polsinelli PC Washington, DC Annual Meeting June 29-July 2, 2014

2 disarming the narcissistic attorney { How to get along with not so nice opposing counsel Ann M. Bittinger The Bittinger Law Firm Jacksonville, Florida David Cade Polsinelli Washington, D.C. To understand the rules requiring us to be nice To understand narcissistic or egocentric behaviors To learn methods to disarm attorneys who are using narcissistic tactics rather than following the rules and serving clients today s objectives 1

3 1: Egoism; egocentrism 2: characterized by extreme selfabsorption, an exaggerated sense of selfimportance and a need for attention and admiration from others. 3: characterized by an unusual coolness and composure, and a tendency to take others for granted or exploit them, and inability to empathize. nar cis sism 1: concerned with self rather than society, others 2: taking the ego as the starting point in philosophy 3: limited in outlook or concern to one s own activities or needs. ego ism 2

4 1: unable to stop working 2: only find value in self through work work a hol ic workaholism perfectionism correlation narcissism 3

5 (Preamble: A Lawyer s Responsibilities) A lawyer should use the law s procedures only for legitimate purposes and not to harass and intimidate others. A lawyer is also guided by personal conscience and the approbation of professional peers to exemplify the legal profession s ideals of public service. A lawyer s responsibilities as a representative of clients, an officer of the legal system and a public citizen are usually harmonious. The Rules of Professional Conduct (ABA) (Preamble: A Lawyer s Responsibilities) These principles include the lawyer s obligation to zealously to protect and pursue a client s legitimate interests, within the bounds of the law, while maintaining a professional, courteous and civil attitude toward all persons involved in the legal system. The Rules of Professional Conduct (ABA) 4

6 To opposing parties and their counsel, I pledge civility, not only in court, but also in all written and oral communications. I will abstain from all offensive personality. Oath of Admission to the Florida Bar A lawyer should be courteous and civil in all professional dealings with other persons. Lawyers should act in a civil manner regardless of the ill feelings that they clients may have toward others. Lawyers can disagree without being disagreeable. Effective and zealous representation does not require antagonistic or acrimonious behavior Lawyers should avoid vulgar language, disparaging remarks or acrimony toward other counsel, parties or witnesses. Guidelines for Professional Conduct (FL) 5

7 Communication with adversaries: Counsel always should be civil and courteous in communicating with an adversary, whether in writing or orally. Trial conduct and courtroom decorum: A lawyer always should interact with parties, counsel, with courtesy and civility, and should avoid undignified or discourteous conduct. Guidelines for Professional Conduct (FL) The abusive tactics range from lack of civility to outright hostility and obstructionism. The lawyers who use abusive tactics instead of being part of the solution have become part of the problem. The desire for respect and confidence by lawyers from the public should provide the members of our profession with the necessary incentive to attain the highest degree of ethical and professional conduct. The Texas Lawyers Creed 6

8 III: Lawyer to Lawyer A lawyer owes opposing counsel, in the conduct of legal transactions and the pursuit of litigation, courtesy, candor, cooperation and scrupulous observance of all agreements and mutual understandings. Ill feelings between clients shall not influence a lawyer s conduct, attitude or demeanor toward opposing counsel. A lawyer shall not engage in unprofessional conduct in retaliation against other unprofessional conduct. The Texas Lawyers Creed III: Lawyer to Lawyer I can disagree without being disagreeable. I recognize that effective representation does not require antagonistic or obnoxious behavior. I will not, without good cause, attribute bad motives or unethical conduct to opposing counsel nor bring the professional into disrepute by unfounded accusations of impropriety. I will abstain from any allusion to personal peculiarities or idiosyncrasies of opposing counsel. The Texas Lawyers Creed 7

9 III: Lawyer to Lawyer An attorney s communications about the legal system should at all times reflect civility, professional integrity, personal dignity, and respect for the legal system. An attorney should not disparage the intelligence, integrity, ethics, moral or behavior of the court or other counsel. An attorney should avoid hostile, demeaning or humiliating words. California Attorney Guidelines of Civility and Professionalism An attorney should not make ad hominem attacks on opposing counsel. appealing to feelings or prejudices rather than intellect marked by or being an attack on an opponentʹs character rather than by an answer to the contentions made Section 14: Conduct in court: An attorney should refrain from conduct that inappropriately demeans another person. California Attorney Guidelines of Civility and Professionalism 8

10 I will abstain from rude, disruptive, disrespectful, and abusive behavior, and will act with dignity, decency, courtesy and candor with opposing counsel. Attorney s pledge. California Attorney Guidelines of Civility and Professionalism Acting courteously toward opposing counsel s secretaries, clerks and other office staff, and never taking out frustration with opposing counsel or such individuals. California Attorney Guidelines of Civility and Professionalism 9

11 A lawyer s conduct should be characterized at all times by personal courtesy and professional integrity in the fullest sense of those terms. Conduct that may be characterized as uncivil, abrasive, abusive, hostile or obstructive impedes the fundamental goal of resolving disputes rationally, peacefully, and efficiently. We will practice our profession with a continuing awareness that our role is to advance the legitimate interests of our clients. Alabama: Standards for Professional Conduct I will shake hands with the opposing counsel at the close of adversarial proceedings and will refrain from engaging in any conduct which engenders disrespect. Alabama: Pledge of Professionalism 10

12 IDENTIFYING THE NARCISSISTIC ATTORNEY Your client, regarding a conversation with the other side to a transaction: He said his attorney told him that you are being obstructionist, and his attorney told him to tell me that. You are being thrown under the bus How to spot a narcissistic attorney 11

13 Opposing counsel aka Mr. Vainglorious : I ll practice the way I want to practice. You practice the way you want to. Clue: starts with I and refers to his own practice of law. How to spot a narcissistic attorney Opposing counsel aka Mr. Vainglorious : Well I have a deposition in Oklahoma City and then I have series of meetings. Clue: Itinerary also starts with I Response is about self, not the issue. How to spot a narcissistic attorney 12

14 Opposing counsel aka Mr. Vainglorious : You type those redlines and I ll see if my client wants to read them OR You ask your client before I ask mine; you get yes and then I ll do the work. Belittling. Non cooperative. Power plays and motives. Sense of entitlement How to spot a narcissistic attorney Opposing counsel aka Mr. Vainglorious : That s not going to make me look good. Cares how the outcome makes him look, not whether the outcome is best for his client Also: fees. How to spot a narcissistic attorney 13

15 Opposing counsel aka Mr. Vainglorious : That is not important. Inability to empathize Inability to agree to a win win. Cockiness. No remorse about the situation or their missed deadlines. How to spot a narcissistic attorney s, calls etc. at all hours Workaholic Impatient Compulsive Thinks you should be available at his or her whim and fit your schedule into his or hers How to spot a narcissistic attorney 14

16 Body Language, etc. Big gestures Talks loudly and interrupts Their eyes glaze when you talk Tend to swear Well dressed and good looking Name drops Boasts about self How to spot a narcissistic attorney DISARMING THE NARCISSISTIC ATTORNEY 15

17 Nurture their egos Intro/background They don t see you as a threat Wow! You must have moved mountains to get your client to agree to that! How can I help you look good to your client? Let them think the solution is their idea. How to disarm a narcissistic attorney Do not threaten their self esteem Ridicule will result in attacks Empathetic confrontation How to disarm a narcissistic attorney 16

18 Turn it back to the issue when it becomes personal Let s turn back to why we are here. Iceberg or other metaphor ice the feeling to stop the swelling How to disarm a narcissistic attorney Practical tools Silence Let her hear the echoes Hold phone away from ear Address it: I understand but I can t assist when you are critical and attacking. I need to talk to you about what just happened. I would like the same courtesy you expect from me. How to disarm a narcissistic attorney 17

19 Know your own triggers Don t get angry Understand what is happening and don t react to it. How to disarm a narcissistic attorney ANN BITTINGER THE BITTINGER LAW FIRM JACKSONVILLE, FL ANN@BITTINGERLAW.COM DAVID CADE POLSINELLI WASHINGTON, DC DCADE@POLSINELLI.COM thank you 18

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