5 Key Money Decisions Every Millionaire Make With Suzanne Evans and David Neagle. Call #1 Transcript

Transcription

1 5 Key Money Decisions Every Millionaire Make With Suzanne Evans and David Neagle Call #1 Transcript

2 Hello, everyone. This is Suzanne Evans and David Neagle. We want to welcome you to 5 Key Money Decisions Every Millionaire Makes. We re thrilled to have you here. We ll be going through multiple themes during this eight-class tele-series. We re mainly going to be focusing on a few areas: The way you re making key business decisions and how that is tapping your income. You re going to learn to make the same decisions a millionaire makes so you can uplevel your sales fast. What the middle class doesn t know about making money that millionaire entrepreneurs do make, and how you can bank big dollars on this one what I ve called over the years life-saving concept. We re also going to talk about collapsing the staircase those few, exact strategic moods that David and I both used early on, which allowed us to jump from five figures, to six figures, from six figures into seven figures, then into multiple-seven figures. And we re going to talk about how you can do the exact same thing and it doesn t take the years it took us. You can literally change it in weeks, months or even days. We re going to be looking at those three ideas. And in addition to that, we re going to be talking about unmet needs. When it comes to money and your mindset about money, connection to money and how you look at money, treat money, spend money and save money, it all ties back into unmet needs. So, we re going to be discussing that as well and really helping you hone in on what your unmet need might be, and how that is holding you back from making the money you want to make. Just some reminders about this series: We go through eight sessions quickly. We have eight sessions in just four weeks. And at the end of some of the calls, David and I will have the opportunity to take some QU&A, so make sure you hang out at the end, and we may be able to take a few questions here and there. Call #1 Transcript Page 2

3 We want to jump right in, because obviously what you came for is the teaching, the learning and I know this might sound dramatic the healing around money. I want to start by having David and I both tell you about our money stories. We can certainly share with you our personal journey through business and our work. But I think it would be interesting for each of us just to share a few moments about our own money story. I ll start by letting you know that I really grew up thinking I was rich. I thought we had plenty of money, because we had a champagne-colored Cadillac. We had a really nice home, and I went to private school. We did have money, and my family has done well. My father was a seventhgeneration farmer. And while a farmer s life is very risky, he did some very intelligent things. What I came to find out as I got into my teens was that we had money, but we had also gone through some immense struggles and loss of money. What was really going on that I think changed my feelings about money and how you deal and interact with money was that there was so much shame around that change in money having had money and then going through some struggles with money that they were faking it. Everything was being held together with duct tape so they could live in a nice house, keep the nice cars, do things for my sister and me that I knew they could not afford. Every day they were waking up and figuring out how to rub two nickels together. There s certainly no shame in going through hard times and no judgment around somebody having something and losing something. But the lesson I learned was how much shame there was about not having money. I went onto college and went to a conservatory to study opera. I was having the time of my life and felt like I was getting the gift of going to this program that so many other people would ve loved to have had. I found out that I had to come back after one year. The bottom line was, they couldn t afford for me to go back. I ended up going to a local school, and we owned a condo in the mountains. So, I had housing there and didn t have to pay room and board at the college I was going to. I was really devastated. I didn t get to say, good-bye to my friends, because I didn t realize I wasn t going back. I thought I was just going home for the summer. Again, that shame around money was there, and I didn t really fully understand why I couldn t go back to school. Call #1 Transcript Page 3

4 I finished school, got a job and worked for many years, working every day in the fear that I would also struggle with money and that I would lose what little bit I was making in a job. It was when I decided to start my own business and become an entrepreneur that things changed. And for me, it was when I met David and started studying with David and learned what true financial freedom is, which is not necessarily having all the money in the world or all the money you think you need. It s having money, losing money and knowing how to make it back again that really freed me to say, Wow. Anything is possible. Because, once you learn the skill set of making money, and you learn the mindset of how you approach money and connect with money, you really don t have any worries about money anymore. My story is that I grew up in a blue-collar, working-class family. It wasn t like we were going without things, but no was a frequent term in my house: No, you can t have this. No, you can t have that. The relationships aspects of my family were a bit strange and pretty dysfunctional. When I grew up, I made some choices that really put me in quite a bind. I quit high school when I was in my third year. And I decided I was going to go to work. I started working, and a few years later I got married and had children and realized that I had created all this responsibility, but had no way of fulfilling the responsibility because I had no education, did not have a good work ethic and did not have a way to really change the situation I had created so I could get out of this bind I had put myself in. It seemed the only way I could do that would be to go back to school, and I didn t have the time or the money to be able to do that, because I was working six and a half days a week with all the overtime they would give me just to barely be able to pay the bills we had. We were living in very low-income housing. We lived next to a drug dealer that used to beat his wife. They would scream and fight, and it was just horrific. I remember thinking to myself, How did I get into this situation? I didn t understand how I got into it or how I could get out of it once I had created all the responsibility. And that s one of the reasons Suzanne and I do the work we do: Being stuck like that is not all that different from when a person decides at any given point or time in their life that they want to start a business, expand their business, set themselves financially free but they don t know how. One of the things that kept coming up in my mind was the word no: No, you can t do this. No, you can t do the other thing. No, it s not going to work. Frequently when we would see people who had money when I was a child, I d hear comments like, Who do they think Call #1 Transcript Page 4

5 they are? Money s not going to make you happy. And there were also certain connotations to being poor and religious or spiritual. This raised a great number of questions in my mind. Even as a little kid, it raised questions in my mind. One of the questions that really ran through my thinking was, How could we come from a loving, abundant God and universe and there still be so much lack and so much poverty prevailing in people s lives? What I didn t know was that there were some really solid, foundational ideas that I needed to learn before I could even begin to move forward to change things. One of those ideas was that not only did I need to learn how to think differently about money in the situation I was in, but I also really needed to know what that differently was? In other words, what is the way to think differently? How do you think differently? What is the truth about thinking this way? Many of the people I was raised around really had a work ethic that was filled with entitlement, meaning you didn t give anything more than you were being paid to give. And very often, it wasn t even that much. It was kind of like if you could get away with getting less than you were getting paid to do when you worked, then you got something over on someone. There was some kind of pride to being established in your life by pulling a fast one on somebody. I was exposed to my father, who had an incredible work ethic. And I think that s eventually where my work ethic came from the ideas he planted in my mind. But it was a struggle back and forth between, who did I want to be as a person? Did I want to be this person that really tried to steer around everything? Or did I want to apply myself and see, if I really were to put my mind to it, what I could do as a human being in this lifetime? What could I accomplish? When I started to think along those lines, I also started to realize that I didn t know what I wanted to accomplish. Nothing really came to mind. Over the course of time, by looking into some of my own money stories, I began to realize that just in the way I was thinking about life, about work, about discipline that those ways of thinking about it were so dysfunctional that it didn t allow other dreams to actually come in so I could embrace them. And that s where I had to start with really changing my attitude about that way I was thinking about the things I was doing on a daily basis. Call #1 Transcript Page 5

6 From there, everything changed. Once I started to address those ideas opportunity began to show up. One of the opportunities that began to really show up for me as a person was the opportunity for me to change who I was being on a daily basis in order to accomplish the goals and dreams that I had started to become aware of for myself. I know, David that you and I watch a lot of the same things. Did you happen to see the Reverend T.D. Jakes interview? I watched it last night. There was a moment where he said, The blessing is in the breaking. It s when you are no longer afraid of the breaking because you understand its purpose, and you know how to come back from it, because you know how to build something back up again. That s when you can stop fearing money and stop always wondering, Where will the next money come from? So, everyone, I think it s important for you to hear my money story and David s money story, because I think it really shows that we ve been there. We did it. We ve not had money. We ve thought we had money. We ve lived through the shame of money and the shame of other people s money. And I know where you re going to start tonight, David and I m going to let you take it from here is to really talk about who you have to be, and what has to go on for you to understand how to make more money and your relationship with money. Call #1 Transcript Page 6

7 I loved, David how you were talking about some of the remembrances of being a kid and hearing some of the things that were said about money. I bet if we went around this virtual room right now, we would hear, Money doesn t grow on trees, We can t afford that, Don t want what somebody else has. Or, you may have heard the opposite, which was, Don t talk about money. We all have money stories that are implanted. And it really happens between the ages of zeroand seven-years old. Tonight I want to start to take a look at where you all come from in your money story and where are you in your money story, so we can spend the rest of our time together figuring out where you want to go and how you re going to get there. It s such a good point. I think the first place to take a look is to ask yourselves how much money you actually currently have and what is the most you ve ever earned? I remember when I was a teenager, I never had any money. My bank account balance was always zero. When I became an adult, my bank account was always zero. And when I started my business, my bank account was zero. I couldn t figure out why that was. But at least you were consistent. Yes. I was consistent. I had that going for me. Call #1 Transcript Page 7

8 Just to make a really long story very short, how I got into this business was that I had the opportunity to be a facilitator for someone else in this industry. And it cost money in order to be able to do it. So, I went to my 401K and took out $50,000. I spent money to become a facilitator and set up the basic things I needed to start a business. I really needed to hit the ground running. In other words, I needed to make money instantly, because I d quit my job and had no money coming in. I didn t give myself a back door or a way out. It was either succeed or completely fail. When I started, I had $5,000 left in the bank. And I remember my wife at the time said, Let s make a deal. The deal is, there s always one month extra amount of bill money in the bank, so we re never running short. I remember getting kind of angry about this when she proposed it. I said, Why does it have to be this way? And she said, Why does it always have to be that we re at zero? I stopped and thought, and I said, That s a very good point. It doesn t need to be that we re always at zero. One of the lessons I learned very quickly was that each one of us have what I call a money set point: The amount of money we feel comfortable having or not having at any given moment in time. Not only do we have a money set point, but most people also have a debt set point: the amount of debt they re comfortable with having or not having at any given point in time. When we re talking about a money set point, we re looking at something that takes place that is really very interesting. A money set point is run by our subconscious mind. It is like somebody put a computer program in our subconscious minds and said, This is the exact amount of money you re going to earn. This is the exact amount of money you re going to have in the bank. This is the exact amount of debt you re going to have. And these are all the problems you re going to have that go along with it. And if you look at people s lives, those subconscious money set points very rarely change unless a person becomes aware they have them and somebody shows them exactly what they need to do in order to change them. Because, once you have that program, you keep creating the same Call #1 Transcript Page 8

9 scenario and situation in your life over and over and over again. That s exactly what I had been doing. I had been creating a scenario where there was no money and nothing there. What I realized was simply this: We have the ability to raise that set point to whatever number we want. Let s say you say, I want $5,000 in the bank. You can raise it to whatever amount of money you want. You can raise it to $10,000, $20,000, $1 million any amount you want to raise it to. This will be your new money set point that you actually have in the bank. What it means is that under no circumstances are you willing to go under that number. What s really cool is that if you always run at zero like I did, instantly, when you raise your set point, it s like you re wealthy, because you always have money. It s always there. It s something that is a real shift in consciousness. A lot of people think, Doesn t that come from a lack perspective, that you re saving money and hanging onto money? I don t feel that it does. I actually think it comes from an abundance perspective and a place of being responsible for understanding how money actually operates within your life. One of the things Suzanne and I run into quite frequently is when we ask a person, How much money do you want to make? they will throw an arbitrary number out at us: I want to make $1 million; I want to make $10 million; I want to be independently wealthy. The number has no real substance to it. There s no reality in that number they re giving us. And actually, that number is coming from fear, because most people are so afraid of money because they don t understand it. So, they don t want to deal with it, have to count it, have to ask for it, have to negotiate with anybody with it. It s just a very, very uncomfortable necessity that s in their life. Fear takes on many faces, right? I think everybody should pause and think about what their number is right now. Answer how you would if we were to say, How much do you want to make? Jot it down really quickly. Then take a moment and think, Is there a real reason behind this, or is it fear? Call #1 Transcript Page 9

10 Fear will show up in many different ways. And one of the ways fear will show up is in competition. You ll throw out a number because you re afraid: If I made this, I d never have to think about money again or balance a checkbook. But some people will throw out the number because they re thinking, That s what everyone else would say. I see this a lot in the coaching industry: A lot of people will come to me and say, I want to make $1 million. The only way they say that is because they re uneasy. And David, you and I send out these headlines sometimes too, because we are marketers. But we talk a lot about a seven-figure business. I think you and I studied this a while back: The first most-desired place is still to make $10,000 per month. And the second is to have earned $1 million at some point. There is a big desire for that. So, for no reason whatsoever, every once in a while someone will say, I want to make $1 million, and it comes out of the competition because you see other people have done it or you see other people share they would like to do it. So, just see the faces that fear can take. Absolutely. The interesting thing about that is that if that s what s controlling a person, to go in and actually do some work around changing the set point is usually very uncomfortable for someone. If there s no reality to the number they pick, there s no reality to the work that needs to get done in order to generate that number. One of the things we look at is, Why is it that you picked the number you picked? What does it really mean to you to pick a new number for your life as a set point the amount of money you want to have in your life on a consistent basis, whether it s income, savings, debt or a combination of all of it? What do those numbers actually mean to you? It requires that you do some real, conscious thinking about it and not come from a place of being uncomfortable and reacting to what those numbers used to mean. Remember, we started the call off talking about your money story and my money story and Suzanne s money story. In our past, our money stories had a lot of pain in them. There was shame in those money stories. If you have shame around money, that s not something that Call #1 Transcript Page 10

11 feels comfortable. So you don t want to spend a whole lot of time feeling that way. It s really critical you look at the reason why you want to have the amount of money in your life that you want to have. And it needs to come from a proactive place. When I say that, don t get confused by the idea that you may have something negative in your life that you re moving away from, because I think everybody does; it s call dissatisfaction. You have to be dissatisfied with something if you re going to move in the direction of something else you want. Dissatisfaction got us out of the cave and put is in the condominium. It s perfectly okay to be dissatisfied with things as they are and then want to recreate them in the way you want to have them in your life. Let s look at the money set point for a moment. Whatever your number is, jot it down, look at the number and ask yourself this simple question: Up to this point in my life, what has that number represented to me? I ll give you some ideas. Suzanne mentioned shame. So, you re looking at the number one of two ways: the amount that s in there, or the lack of it. How much is there or how much isn t there? Is it shame? Is it struggle? Is it fear? Is it security or lack of security? Is it obligation? A lot of people have money set points or lack of money set points just based in some kind of obligation to their children, their husband, their wife, parents, etc.? Or, is it entitlement? Entitlement. Very good. And that was part of my money story and my family. We had big, working-class entitlement issues: How can we stick it to the man? Call #1 Transcript Page 11

12 There s also embarrassment, which has something to do with shame, but it s a bit different. And of course, there s also competition. I can t tell you how many people I work with when, once I really push them on the number and figure out why that s their number, this is uncovered. I ll never forget someone you and I both coached, David. He was a really great guy and really level headed. I pushed and pushed and pushed during a VIP day once and found out he chose his number because it was just about $25,000 more than his brother had ever made. You need to start looking at what these numbers really mean to you. Because and David, you could talk for three days on this numbers don t mean anything. It s all perception. We give meaning to numbers. They don t come with any true meaning, just like money doesn t have any real value. We give value to it. It s just paper. Really looking at what is going on whether it s shame, competition, fear, entitlement, pride with that number is critical. Because, I can tell you David and me included you never throw a number out that you haven t attached something to. Absolutely. So, what s attached to the number? What is it that is attached to your number? When I first put my number down, I was making $20,000 per year. And the first number I put down was $40,000. That number to me represented freedom, success and the lack of pain. The reason I say, lack of pain is because, as I was saying, we were living next to a drug dealer who used to beat his wife. My wife used to have to take the kids to the park in the afternoon so they wouldn t hear them screaming. For me, that made me feel like a failure as a father and as a husband. So, that number indicated a lot of different things for me, but removing the pain from my life was the biggest thing. Call #1 Transcript Page 12

13 We ve been looking at the person that s putting a number down and attaching a negative emotion to it. But there could also be a lot of positive emotions. You could choose a number because it s the number that allows you to live like you re living now plus send your kids to college. Or it might be based on the most you ve ever made, and you want to double the most you ve ever made. There can be positive things attached to it too. The other thing I want you to think about when you start to look at the number and ask, Why am I choosing that number? is that lot of times, as I ve said, people will come in and say, I want to make $1 million. Other times, David and I have seen people come in and say, I want to make $75,000. And when you start to really dig into what that number means, you find out that if they were to make over $100,000, they would ve made more than their parents had ever made, and they would feel ashamed that they made too much money. So, is your number a certain number because you ve applied some kind of emotion or story to it? That can go either way. Is your number way too low because someone will be hurt if you make more than that? That s a very good point. And there are a lot of people that hold themselves back because of that. Absolutely. Actually, I was having lunch with my business manager the other day. And she was talking about her stepmother. It s a great story, and all of you on this call have five of these stories. My business manager said that her stepmother was selling her house on Sanibel, which is a beautiful Island in Florida. And I said, Why is she selling? And she said, The house is just way too big. She and my father had bought it just a few years before he died, and it was a huge house. Now she s alone. I asked if it was just the two of them living there before he died. She said, Yes. He came to visit me and my partner in California and she had happened to move in with a woman who was doing very well and had a big, huge, Call #1 Transcript Page 13

14 gorgeous house in California. And he went home and said, My daughter will not have a house nicer than mine and went and bought a big house. We attach these stories to things. So, what is your number telling you? That s what we re trying to get at tonight. What is the attachment you have to that number? Hopefully we ve given some examples of what the attachment to that number might be. David, let s talk about next steps to get them to the real number. We have the emotional number. But how do we get to the real number? A really great way to get to the real number is to realize that your new number has to be real. And in order for it to be real, it has to represent something in your life. Remember, money has no meaning. Money has no value. We give it both meaning and value. It is nothing more than a tool that provides a means to an end for us. The only reason we need money in our lives is so we can extend ourselves beyond our physical presence and make ourselves more comfortable in our lives. That means all we have to do is take a look at how we want to live our lives. How do we actually want to be in our existence? Money is not the most important thing, but it touches everything in our lives. And it touches the most important things in our lives. It s kind of like a magnifying glass in a very real sense, because money will either make something better or make something worse. You can magnify a situation with money, or you can minimize a situation through lack of money. You can make things better with more money, or you can make things worse with less money. Money is just a tool that we re going to use to increase the value of our own lives for ourselves and for other people. To do that, we have to know what kind of life we want to lead. Where do we want to increase value for ourselves in our own personal life and for other people? And this is how we come up with the number that is actually real to us a number that has meaning and a number that has value. The way we do this is that we start to look at every area of our lives and ask, What is it that I want in my life, and how much is it going to cost in order Call #1 Transcript Page 14

15 to have that in my life? In other words, How much do I have to invest in my own life in order to raise the standard of my being? That s big. And I think that when we look at what our real number is and begin to have the conversation with ourselves and really start to do emotional business management and that s one of the things I often say: emotional business management. That s what I ll talk to my clients about when they are making decisions based on emotion as opposed to making decisions based on good business, more life or moving their profits forward. It s the same thing with this number. Once you get past the emotional number management and you start to look at really how this number can serve you and who you need to be to move that number, everything changes. It s not really emotion anymore, it s science, which is law. Definitely. Because, when it comes right down to it, what we re dealing with is a math problem. Everything has to mathematically make sense when it comes to the numbers. That s why we have people go through these exercise of really going through their lives and asking, What is it that I really want to accomplish? How do I want to live? How do I want the people in my life to live my spouse, my partner, my lover, my kids? What schools do I want my kids to go to? Which cars do I want to drive? What kind of clothes do we want to wear? How do we want to enrich ourselves? And what is it going to cost us to do that? These are the things that money is for. And then, also, there is, What do we want to give away? What kind of philanthropy do we want to be involved in? That s another great benefit of earning a lot of money: We can help a lot of people that need our help. Today, it s really easy to do this. You make a list, get on the Internet and start actually figuring out what it s going to cost. When you do this, one of the things people have a tendency to do is Call #1 Transcript Page 15

16 look at the number and start minimizing. They start having a conversation with themselves in their heads based on their money story and their old set point that says, I don t know if I really need this. I don t if I should really have this. You don t want to entertain that kind of a conversation. This isn t about what you need. This is about what you want in your life. We have both things: We have needs and wants. In order for us to really get all the things we love, we have to learn to take care of our needs first. If we can t take care of our needs, we re never going to get what we want. And if we re running away from money instead of really understanding it, then we re not going to take care of what we need. I ll tell you this: My belief is that however you re living, your need is much different from what you think it is. When we re talking about needs, we re really talking about perception. Because, one person s need is another person s want. Very often we ll hear someone say, I don t really need any money. And I ll say, Fine, take off your clothes, get rid of everything you have and go live on a mountain with a goat someplace. The truth is, we all absolutely need money. To the extent we need it is really based on perception. And that perception is based on the quality of life that you want to live for yourself. And the quality of life you want to live for yourself is based on your money story and on your own self worth. Like Suzanne said, if you re afraid to earn more money than what your parents earned, in a sense what you re saying is, I m going to live a lesser quality of life so my parents will feel better about themselves. But when we do that, what is the story we pass onto our children? Because, if that s the story we re living for ourselves and our parents and we re going to pass that story onto our kids, that means our children have to live a lesser quality of life so that we ll feel better. And then they pass that onto their kids, and the grandkids have to live a lesser quality of life in order for the kids to feel better. This is how people end up going down the spiral and drug addicted, out on the street and with a life completely in shambles. Because, this story perpetuates itself in one direction or another. It either makes each subsequent generation better or it makes every subsequent generation worse. You re like a pivot point in this scenario. You have to ask, What role am I playing and how am I going to lift myself up and then lift up the subsequent generations that follow me? By raising my standard. I Call #1 Transcript Page 16

17 have to raise my standard and make it okay for my children to raise their standard and be better than me, so they make it okay for their children to raise their standard and be better than they. Then, with each generation, we re progressing as people instead of regressing. That s huge. This is the whole deal: We re all going on a journey together. And you re in this class and listening to us talk. If you don t know what your number is, where you are now and where you want to go, it s a little bit like getting in the car and saying, We re going somewhere. Let s just keep driving around. Hey, we re still going somewhere. It s about instead saying, This is where we re going, and now we re going to map it out. This is what these classes are going to be about: mapping it out. Here s what we re going to do. You ve probably written down a number. And David, they ve probably all written down a number and scratched through it nine times and have a whole story around it. I want to give everyone about 60 seconds to write the number down. You may have gone through four different numbers in this call, and that s okay. For right now, don t do anything but write the number. Let s start there. Okay, you have the number written down. I m going to give you about 60 seconds and all I want you to do is fill in the following blank. It can be in a paragraph form, a bullet form, or you can just write words down: When I read and see this number, I feel [BLANK]. Fill in the blank. Just hold there. Here s what we re going to do. We re going to wrap up for tonight and pause there. You should have your number and what you feel when you see your number. As I said, you probably changed that number multiple times. But this is the key, core secret to knowing how we re going to plot the journey. So, if we all decided to go to Florida together, we can take a train, a bus, a boat, but we first have to know where we re going so we can map out the journey of how to get there. Call #1 Transcript Page 17

18 We are going to take some Q&A here. You can tell us what your number is, talk to us about whether this is your real number or not. You can press *2 on the phone or type it into the webcast. There are a lot of you on the webcast, so we re happy to talk to you there as well. Somebody asked, Is it my number for the year? Absolutely. Though, I think, David, they can do it monthly if they wanted to, right? But typically we say for a year. Yeah. Someone said, Is it bad to just throw out a number? I think that might have come in prior to us talking about the importance of connecting to your number. One thing I ll say is that it s not bad to start by throwing out a number, only because sometimes and David, you and I have both experienced this people are not even able to say a number. It s a little bit like saying, even though sometimes you don t know where you re going, sometimes I say it s better to just get into the car and crank it, because at least it gets you started. You don t want to throw out and then keep a number that is an emotional number that you haven t thought through. But you can absolutely start there if that helps. Here s the other thing: You ve come to the place where if you really are in this class because you want to work out your money stuff, the first thing you have to do is be able to talk about your money stuff. This is not a place to hide, be shy or say, Do I have a question or not have a question? Oh my gosh, I don t want to ask this. What if I have to say what my number is, and what if it s stupid? That attitude tells you you re right into the emotional number management. So, the first step, as anybody would say about anything, whether it s treating Call #1 Transcript Page 18

19 alcoholism, losing weight or doing anything else, is that you first have to be willing to talk about it and know where you are. Somebody said, I feel both excited and scared about the number. Is that a good indication that it s not my real number or that it might be? I think it s a good indication that it is your real number. You should feel excited and scared. Not long ago, I saw a random video of one of our colleagues who was talking about one of her programs. And she said, Is doing this program right now a stretch for you? Is it the absolute wrong time? Is it inconvenient? Will it cause major problems? If the answers to all of those are yes, it s the perfect program for you. I thought that was so great, and I think that relates to the number as well. Does it scare you? In one breath does it excite you and in the next breath does it make you think, Oh my God, what is that number? That probably means it s turning something for you and it s your right number. Okay, Monica Hicks. Hello, how are you? Monica Hicks: I m the Agape Mission International s spokesperson in the first year. And I put $100,000 with corporate donations. I m hearing about emotional vs. wants and needs. $100,000 feels good and really for the children. But my question is, is it too low? I want to go corporate. I want to go for corporations that donate $10,000-$50,000, because it s $200 per month and $2,400 per year. Call #1 Transcript Page 19

20 I think it s really interesting, because, David, I don t know if this is something to address or not, but she s really looking at setting a number outside herself, because it s for fundraising. Does that change how you set your number? Monica Hicks: That s a good question. I m just wondering why you deflect away from just for yourself. Monica Hicks: Because my husband and I have a very successful business, and we were just at Suzanne s event Be the Change. And that focus will be solely on him and someone we brought on as a co-owner. So, he s on the phone too, because that s what will give me the funds to do the traveling and be the spokesperson. So, we have a joint venture. So, you re not doing this for all the businesses. You re doing this course for just one thing. Call #1 Transcript Page 20

21 Monica Hicks: Yes. I m just doing this for my thing. And I have my husband on the phone for the business. I want to get through the breakthroughs of channeling my own stuff. So, your business is very successful. You and your husband are on here together. You re really wanting to get corporations to give. And you said your first goal is $100,000. So, why don t you just write a check for $100,000 to get it started? Monica Hicks: It never crossed my mind. That s a great question. I have no idea. I ask that because David picked up on something, and it s very rare I hear David pause for that long, so I knew there was something going on. There s something about a detachment or a deflection of you and money and you being connected to money. When I hear someone say, We have a really successful business. We re doing great there, but I want to go raise funds for this don t get me wrong, there s nothing wrong with going to other businesses and corporations and raising money, because that s very admirable. But my question is, if you could make $100,000 tomorrow and then just write a check for the $100,000, wouldn t that be a lot easier? Monica Hicks: Call #1 Transcript Page 21

22 Absolutely. I get it. What s your reason for being in this program with us? Monica Hicks: I have several reasons. One, my husband and I were stumped by our current business. It was stagnant for a while, and after going to Be the Change, he s on fire, and I m here to support him. The other reason is to come up with a mission statement for my purpose and my mission for my organization that I m representing to change lives for the children. That should tell you something. Businesses don t get stagnant, people do. Monica Hicks: That s correct. And actually, Suzanne said that. I think I said this at Be the Change: People don t run out of money; they run out of ideas. They run out of inspiration and creativity. Call #1 Transcript Page 22

23 Monica Hicks: After going to your event, Suzanne, we ve hired some experts, hired a couple people from your event, we ve signed up with you, we re looking for a bigger building, we ve added someone on to be a co-owner with us. They are on fire and are so inspired and get it. And we re so grateful. From the first time I met you, the word you use consistently is, support, support, support. So, when will you move out of support and into force? I m here to support my husband s business. I want to support the children. What I want to hear is you 100% independently support yourself, and then everyone else will be supported. Monica Hicks: Oh, that s good. You have to be very careful. And I say this with a big smile: You ve got a bit of a babysitter syndrome. Monica Hicks: You know what, Suzanne. It s true. I m a caretaker personality. Absolutely. Call #1 Transcript Page 23

24 I talked about this to you in Utah: I think you have something inside of you forget the giving back for a moment, because that s going to happen naturally, as it s just the type of person you are. You re not going to be able to not give back. It s in your DNA. I would love to see your business emerge. Because, you have a business. I m telling you. You have a business that is dying to emerge. And I think that business and those funds will also support the charitable work you want to do. But I think you need to rise up and assert some independence and not in a support role for all of this to happen. Monica Hicks: So, I get to create a way for me to be independent and merge up in the current own business and then everything else will follow. Yeah. And I m not sure if it s your current business or not. I don t know. It could be the current business, or it could be that you have your own business idea or something else brewing. That I m not 100% sure about. But I know I really want to see you move from support role to leader role. Then, that $100,000 will become $1 million, and you won t even have to go ask for it. People will just want to give it to you. Monica Hicks: I m up for that challenge. And I m absolutely ready. This is very valuable. I ve never heard that I m in the caretaker, support, cheerleader. I know I have it in me to become that successful and independent business owner and create that. Call #1 Transcript Page 24

25 I really think that between now and our next class you need to think about that and really begin to ponder what that is. I would challenge you when you say you ve never heard that before. I don t believe that. Monica Neagle: I ve heard it from myself as a caretaker. But as far as hearing it from someone else, I guess I just think people assume it from me. I very poor childhood and raised four siblings. We can go on from there. It s a learned behavior. Whoa. It s a learned behavior until you re conscious. You are a very conscious person. Now it s a decision and a choice. It was a learned behavior. Now you re continuing to choose to live in that behavior. Monica Hicks: I get it. I see the dots connecting. Call #1 Transcript Page 25

26 That s what I want you to think about between now and the next class. We have one more question. I think we have a question and an announcement. The announcement is, I m not sure if you remember, David, but Havita was at our lunch, and she just wanted to let us know that she has decided to quit her job July 1 st. Good for you. Congratulations. We are thrilled to hear it. That s amazing. Good for you! Here s the last question we ll take: I m noticing I want to make my wants into needs in order to justify them. Any suggestions on the best way to address this? So, what they re saying is that they feel like they re manipulating what they want into things that they need. I think if you re manipulating something you want into something you need, you probably need it. Absolutely. And it could be for various reasons that you need it. Sometimes we need things not just because of the practical value they have, but because of the emotional or self worth value or what it will do for our quality of life. There are various reasons why we need something. And it s just as important. It s absolutely just as important, and sometimes it s more important. For example, when someone has a ton of work they have to do and really can t afford the time off Call #1 Transcript Page 26

27 but need time off to recharge themselves or go to the spa or do some self-care stuff. Those things are just as important as anything else. David and I like so much of the same things, which is why we re good partners and friends. But we both have major boat stories. Sometimes they re freak stories and sometimes they re lifechanging stories. David changed his life with a boat. What was it that you needed -- $12,000 to go to a seminar? Yeah. And he bought a boat and couldn t figure out where to get the money. All of a sudden, he looked out the window and saw a boat on a trailer in his yard and thought, I bet I could get about $12,000 for it. He sold it, went to the event, and it totally changed the course of his life. My story is very similar. I m a boat fanatic. And I had wanted a boat for probably 15 years. I grew up on boats and went probably 15 years without one. And I said, If I ever get more than a dollar, I m getting a boat. I started working with David, my business took off and I was finally at a place where I thought I could finally get a boat. I went back and forth: I m going to get this boat. I m not going to get this boat. I want this boat. I don t need a boat. I need a car worse than I need a boat, and I should pay down this mortgage. Finally, I said, I need the boat. It s not I want the boat anymore. I need the boat. Why do I need the boat? Because we really weren t meant to live in a world where you just get by. Buying that boat was a turning point for me, not because I have a boat. I loved the boat and it was great, and it was an amazing experience. I had a bunch of fun with it. But it was a turning point because I realized that we Call #1 Transcript Page 27

28 can get things we want because we need to enjoy our lives. We were not put on this earth to get by or to wait for joy or for things we enjoy because the timing may not be perfect or right. So, I think sometimes when you get the things you want, it can be something you need, because it can turn around your perspective about what s possible in your life. Absolutely. And we both went through a long period of time without a boat. We did. And now we have matching boats. We re going to talk to you in our next call. I want everybody to be really clear about your number. You should be at this point. We re going to meet you tomorrow night talking about unmet needs. It s a deep topic. I know for me, it was a transformational experience in my life looking at my unmet needs and what they were. And I am continuing to deal with those on a daily basis, because we keep growing. Call #1 Transcript Page 28