Freshman Seminar: Africana Film: From the UK to the USA Professors Basu & Fairchild. Writing Workshop First Sentences September 30, 2014

Transcription

1 Freshman Seminar: Africana Film: From the UK to the USA Professors Basu & Fairchild Writing Workshop First Sentences September 30, 2014 Original Text The 1996 TV Movie The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, written by John Henrik Clarke and directed by Paris Barclay poignantly portrays the message of believing in standing up for ones rights despite doing so in the face of adversity and consequence. Edits Problems: punctuation, wordiness, tense, spelling The 1996 film, The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, based on the short story written by John Henrik Clarke and directed by Paris Barclay, portrayed the message of believing in standing up for one s rights--despite doing so in the face of adversity.

2 The Boy Who Painted Christ Black was an extremely moving short film about a boy s depiction of Christ and how the administrators in the school react to said painting. (29 words) Problems: adverb; accuracy, awkwardness, tense The Boy Who Painted Christ Black is a moving film about reactions to a student s artwork. (16 words)

3 In watching "The Boy Who Painted Christ Black", I thought it was a very interesting representation of racial issues in the south during (24 words) Problems: 1 st person pronoun, vague, awkward. "The Boy Who Painted Christ Black" was a thought provoking portrayal of racial issues in the south during the 1940s. (20 words)

4 The film The Boy Who Painted Christ Black based on the story by John Henrik Clarke took place in Georgia in 1948, which time period African Americans were still striving for their rights and selfesteem. (35 WORDS) The film, The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, based on the story by John Henrik Clarke, was set in 1948 Georgia a time when African Americans were striving for their rights and freedoms. (33 words)

5 Bill Dukes brings another great film, mirroring the African American experience movie to the screen. We see all sorts of themes and devices used in this film, which give its realistic feel and a glimpse of African American experience. (39 WORDS) Bill Duke s film, The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, brings an African American experience to the screen. The film gives viewers a realistic feel of African American life and culture in 1948 Georgia. (33 words)

6 Workshop Continuation - October 2, 2014 The Boy Who Painted Christ Black is a short film made for television. It is a film focused on the principal of an all black school and a young boy who is a talented painter. (35 words) The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, a short made-for-television film,. focused on the principal of an all Black school and a talented young boy. (24 words)

7 "The Boy Who Painted Christ Black" at times is cliché with its musical choices and dialogue when creating dramatic affect, but the message delivered is a powerful one. The children in the film are lovable, especially Aaron who has an appreciation of his race early in life. (47 words) "The Boy Who Painted Christ Black" at times cliché with musical choices and dialogue, delivered a powerful message. The children were lovable, especially Aaron, who had an early appreciation of his race. (32 words)

8 The Boy Who Painted Christ Black by John Henrik Clarke is set in 1948 Georgia at one of the few African American Schools. Aaron, a young, talented student paints a portrait of Christ Black which is eventually submitted to a state wide pride contest. (44 words) The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, by John Henrik Clarke, is set in 1948 Georgia at an African American School. Aaron, a young, talented student, paints a portrait of a Black Christ which is submitted to a state-wide pride contest. (40 words)

9 The Boy Who Painted Christ Black is a movie of morals, character, and values. Setting in Georgia in the late 1940s, its shows how while trying to educate their children, how African Americans sometimes had to compromise their values. (39 words) The Boy Who Painted Christ Black is a film about morals, character, and values. Set in Georgia in the late 1940s, it shows how African Americans sometimes had to compromise their values while educating their children. (36 words)

10 The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, a short film directed by Paris Barclay, takes place in 1948 in rural Georgia. Everyone knew who he was, Aaron Crawford, a magnificent student at Booker T. Washington - the only colored school in the county. (42 words) The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, a short film directed by Paris Barclay, takes place in 1948 in rural Georgia. Everyone knew Aaron Crawford, a magnificent student at Booker T. Washington - the only colored school in the county. (39 words)

11 In the short film, The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, a talented 8- year old boy named Aaron creates a beautiful yet controversial painting that stirs up contention within his school and stimulates in his teachers a debate over morals and ethics and how to stand up against adversity and prejudice. (50 words) Set in a colored school in Georgia, 1948 already a place and time fraught with racial tension and discrimination the story mainly surrounds the school s principal (George Duval), the state supervisor (Daniels), and Aaron s teacher (Ms. Williams). In the short film, The Boy Who Painted Christ Black, a talented 8- year old boy, Aaron, creates a beautiful yet controversial painting that stimulates a debate over morals and ethics and how to stand up against adversity and prejudice. (39 words) This is a very well crafted piece of writing. Nicely punctuated. (The adverb, mainly, could be deleted.)