Kinship Board Meets ln Southern California

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1 Publication of Seventh-day Adventist Gay Men and Women and Their Friends Vol. '10, No.3 March, 1986 Kinship Board Meets ln Southern California Bob Bouchard A nationalboard meeting of SDA Kinship lnternational, lnc. was held at the home of Richard Russelland Hal Jobe in Rancho Cucamonga, California overthe weekend of January 25 and 26, A wide variety of subjects were discussed and actions agreed upon. Kampmeeting'86 will be held at a camp outside Toronto, CANADA during the week of August 10-17, Joc Anderson, 1986 Kampmeeting coordinator, led the board in a discussion of possible speakers and preferred program events. Fees will be approximately $220 to $280, depending on accomodations. A low-income registration fee will also be available. A separate letter announcing further details of this year's version of the annual eventwill be sent out in the nextfewweeks. All the materials forthe Kinship Kinship's Printed Materials Now Available An orderform is included as an insert in this issue of the Connection forordering any of Kinship's publications. All previously-available items have been reprinted and are in good supply. Additionally, several new tracts have been printed and are included in the list to be found at the bottom of the order. To order either seperately or as informational packets, just complete and mail the materials requ isition... Informational Packet have been reprinted. Packets are now available to individuals wishing to send them to pastors, friends, educators, etc. (See the article on page 4for further information on this program.) The packets include a bibliography of informative material on homosexuality, a discussion of the biblicalverses, an essay on hornophobia, and other resource items. lnthe past, SDA Kinship hastargeted the ministers in specific Adventist conf erences, selected educators, counselors and others. Advance planning lor Kampmeeting '87 has begun. Persuant to a membership action last summer, the 1987 Kampmeetingwillbe held in July (12th to 19th). Forthose who must plan early, reserve those dates. The board spent a significant amount of time discussing ways to increase SDA Kinship's outreach to the physically challenged. Ac- AIDS God's Judgment? The flier, "AIDS: ls lt God's Judgement?" produced by the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Church Commission on Faith, Fellowship and Order, is wellwritten and a good answerto the charge lhat has been made. The pamphlet is included for all, f ree of charge, in this mailing. lf you wish to have a part in defraying the expense of this project, you may do so by mailing your contribution marked "Judgment f lier," to S DA Kinship... cess to a Telecommunications Deviceforthe Deaf (TDD)has recently been made available to the organl zation by Kinship membermarie Crofoot, who has also transcribed many of SDA Kinship's materials into braille. The camp at which Kampmeeting'86 will be held is wheel chair accessible. We are also working to have interpreters available forthe deaf. ln addition, materials have been distributed to each of the regionaldirectors on howto improve SDA Kinship's outreach to the gay physically impaired. The new Kinship banner, incorporating a newly created Kinship logo, has been adopted by the board. The new banner is to include just a very simple message so as to be easily read and understood in a parade situation. The banner, an example of which is included on page 3, willsay Please turn to BOABD on p. 3 t I"rid.l Around the Nation Ask Me The New KINSHIP BANNER...3 Bits & Pieces For What lt's Worth...5 lnformational Pckts'Spread Word".5 ls AIDS God's Judgment?..-lnsert Kinsh ip Birthdays Kinsh ip CaIendar Mainstream or Underwater?...6 Materials Requisition...--.lnsert Mind ln Motion... N8W...7 Regiona! Updates Teenage Homosexuality...7 TORONTO As A Vacation...12 WomanWise...1 0

2 Kinship Connection The Monthly Publication of SDA Kinship lnternational, lnc. P.O. Box 3M0 Los Angeles, CA Phone (213) (V) or, for the hearing impaired, (408) (TDD) (V-voice: TDD-Telecommunications Device for the Deal J. Vicki Shelton Editor Emy Lou Johnson.... Associate Editor BOARD MEMBERS Robert F. Bouchard.... President Marge Doyle. Vice President Pamela Roberts Secretary Errol L. Chamness Treasurer J.Vicki Shelton.... Editor Van Johnson... Public Relations Directot Ronald L. Lawson, PhD.. SDA Church Liaison Lin Shepherd. Women's Coordinator lym Stuart... lnformation Serylces Director TonyAdams... Member at Large foc Anderson Member at Large Emy Lou Johnson... Member at Large Marsha Langford... Member at Large RECIONAT DIRECTORS 1 North Atlantic.... Obed Vazquez 2 SouthAtlantic.... Dennis Haley 3 Southern. Jim Foxworthy 4 Creat Lakes..... Cary Stebbeds 5 Creat Plains.. 'Terre Price 6 Rocky Mountain Ted Hurley 7 Pacilic Northwest Dennis Deming B Central Pacific. Virginia Reynolds 9 Southern CA & AZ.. Bob Holland T0Canada... JeremyYoung Need Confidential Counseling? Reuerend Marsha J, Langford If you're feeling lonely, depressed, suicidal or in need of a gay or lesbian referral, I know of a network of gay and lesbiansupportive professionals nationwide, You can be very secure that absolute confidentiality is assured. I am also willing to talk with you personally. You may call or write to me at: Reverend Marsha J. Langford (a1a) a4a-464a 643 North llollywood Way Burbank, CA Seventh-day Adventist Kinship lnternational, lnc., is a worldwide support group of/for Adventist ({ormer or current) tay men and women and their friends. SDA Kinship also provides gentle education of SDA pastors, teachers and counselors to an understanding of homosexuality and related issues. This publication, SDA Kinship Connection, is intended to be an informational and inspirational journal for our members and friends and is published monthly by SDA Kinship lnternational, lnc. The subscription rate is $24 per year. Copy deadline usually is the Friday before the third Monday of each month; refer to the calendar on the back page for monthly specifics. All typewritten essays and other submissions (photographs, etc.) will be returned only ii submitted with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. lnclude a first and last name, actual or pseudonym, that may be published. Letters and essays may be edited for purposes of clarity or space. Send all potential copy and other correspondence directed to the editor to:,. vicki Shelton, P.O. Box'10032, Denver, CO Phone: (303) The appearance of names or photographs of persons or organizations should not be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of the named or shown. Opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those o{ SDA Kinship lnternational, lnc-, or oi the SDA Kinship Connection staif. Changes of address or requests for newsletter copies should be sent to SDA Kinship's international mailing address: P.O. Box 3840, Los Angeles, CA , USA, Our mailinb list is confidential among o{ficers and sta{i and is not sold, rented or exchanged for any purpose. O 1986 by SDA Kinship International, lnc. All rights reserved. rom the Presidentrs Residence QUIETLY HAPPENING One of the great frustrations the leaders of SDA Kinship continually encounter is our inability, due to confidentiality requirements, to let members know of the many positive happenings going on across the country. At the recent board meetings (January 25-26), we heard of Kinship members meeting with sympathetic pastors, of stuoenti who have spoken to school administrators and deans about the difficulties of being gay and Adventist, of classes at which the topic of Adventism and homosexuality was honjstiy discussed, and of faculty, counselors and pastors who have come to us ieeking more information so that they might better understand. Generally, when one of the above kinds of meetings occur it is with the understanding that the confidentiality of all involved will be assured- While that requirement is understandable, it is still frustrating. We would like to be able to tell you of the various opportunities we have had to educate, so that you can also be encouraged. However, for now, much of this work must go on quietly. But it is happening. That, at least, you should know.'r V"ice-l ONE OF EVERYONE. As we Adventist gay people have learned to feel pride in oursetves and depad our closets, we've discovered scores of brothers and sisters with whom we can identify. I surveyed my address book and realized that the friends and acquaintances Emy Lou and I have made in Kinship include five social workers, at least 25 teachers (including several with doctorate degrees), two school principals, two food-service workers, four- psychotherapists, four administrators within Adventist Health Systems, three pastors, thres hospital chaplains, at least 15 nurses, seven medical doctors, five dentists, two orthodontists and a couple of physical therapists. (we're often in direct people-helping professionsl) But we've also learned lo know and love, as part of our extended Kinship family, several secretaries, three lawyers, five accountants, two auditors, many students, a pbx operator, four sales persons, three artists, four computer engineers and/or programmers, several librarians, three travel agents, four real estate sales persons, one restaurant owner, one store manager, a city landscape architect, an executive with a major national corporation, several independent business persons and even a few unemployed people. And yes, we know a hair dresser, a floral designer and two women's phys. ed. teachers. They're all really the regular people we've known all along. They're no different from the non-gay people we know. People are people. We gays are no different and we shouldn't act as though we are. Avocationally we're musicians (hear us at Kampmeeting and know the world would lose a large part of its music without us!). We're writers and artists. We're car buffs and sports fans. We're carpenters and gardeners. We're ordinary cooks and gourmet chefs. we're house remodelers and decorators. we go to the mountains, the lake, the woods or the beach. We lookfor Halley's Comet and take in a good movie. Do you see my point? We may still feel ourselves to be peculiar because we've heard all our lives that gay people are strange, different, queer. "'They' think only or mostly about sexual encounters." "we should fear'them'because, il given a chance, they' will attack us." (ln fact, we tried to figr:re out who "they" were and did lry to avoid "them." But most everyone looked the same to us so we didn\ know which ones to avoidl) Even while clming to terms wlth our own emotional and physical attractions, which seemed like those we thought homosexuals must really have, we probably believed some of the terrible tales. We became homophobic. Had it been different, what we could have experienced as self-affirmed homosexual people "somewhat out," "totaliy out" or even "only barely out" of the closet will be something we'll avoid until we learn self-acceptance and self-esteem. Through an unlearning process that may take years, we grow to accept ourselves and our orientation. We learn about support groups such as Kinship. We come step by step closer to the closet door and crack it open to discover we and others like us are not at all like the monsters we've been told aboutl Once out, we must remain so. We must make our presence more obvious, not by acting bizarre in behavior or appearance--we need not wear drag and purposely act ef{eminate if we are gay men, nor tough and rough if we are lesbian women. Likewise we need not, as gay men, leel we have lo act "masculine," or, as lesbians, "feminine." ln fact, it's imperative we just be ourselves--the loving, caring, really quite-cpnventional Christian persons in all walks of life that we are. The focus should be our personhood, not our homosexuality. As very much non-bizarre people, different only in our affectional, emotional and sexual orientation--we'll more and more see ourselves as okay. When we lully accept ourselves as we are, we've more than just won the battle, we've won the war. People will see us ds we are, not as the stereotypes they have been told we are. Only after we persuade ourselves can we convince others we are okay and necessary to a healthy society.

3 March, 1986 BOARD, from page 1 "Kinship" in large letters across the top. Below and to the right of the word "Kinship," will be the message, "Lesbian and Gay Seventh-dayAdventists." The logo will appear in the lower left-hand section of the banner. This logo, made of two overlapping ovals symbolizing the two spheres of the globe and Kinship's international organization, will show androgynous silhouettes of two persons on each sphere. The cross in the centerof the logo symbolizesthe common bond of our spiritual heritage as gay and lesbian Seventh-day Adventists. Former Region 9 Director, Bernie Ochoa's long-time friend and life partner, Bill, deserves credit for his part in the development of this logo, particularly for his suggestion of the silhouettes to symbolize our acceplance of homosexuality and homosexual relationships. The banners, to be used at parades, meetings and otherget togethers, will be available for sale to each region. SDA Kinship finances have become more and more sound each year. ln 1985, Kinship's budget grew to almost $49,000, up f rom the approximately $40,000 the group received in ln 1985, a special $3,100 appealto computerize the newsletler was also completely lunded. The annualstatement for '1985 will be published in the April, 19BO Connection. A new chapter in Hawaii has been officially recognized by the SDA Kinship board. A group of members have been meeting there overthe past few months. ln addition, a group of members have begun meeting in England, with an eye toward future chapter status. The requirements underarticle Xl, Section 1 of the SDA Kinship bylaws lor organizing a new chapter are as follows: "Chapters shallbe certified as such by the president subject to the approval of the Board of Directors... In order to be so certified, a chapter in formation shall: (a) subscribe to the purposes and objectives of the corporation; (b) have held at least three meetings overa period of six months;(c) have at leastfive persons u ttl e 2 D i IU Ir t\st Y a E \b = & Kinship Connection background, deep royal purple who are active orsupporting members [of Kinship]. "Section 2. No person shall initiate the formation of a chapter without the permission of the respective regional director." Membership: SDA Kinship has 839 names on its list as of January 24, 1986, 159 ofwhom have been added since last summe/s Kampmeeting. Of the 839, 181 are women, 292 are active members, 62 are supporting members and 136 only subscribe to the newsletter. Others receive only the regionalmailings. Waysto reduce the number of duties assumed by the editor of lhe Co n nect io n w er e discussed. The offerof Robert Foerch, John Heelan, Hal Jobe, Michael Mclaughlin and Richard Russellto take overthe circulation aspect ol the Conn ection operation (printing, collating, stuff ing, labeling and stamping envelopes and mailing) was gratef ully accepted. Other off ers to help with preliminary aspects of the newsletter preparation were also appreciated and enthusiastically accepted. Mark Honaker will be doing a considerable amount of the data entry--"keying" articles into the computer. The possibility of purchasing a hard disk drive for the newsletter computer is being investigated. The SDA Kinship board discussed the importance ol improving its outreach to women. Lin Shepherd, women's director, emphasized the importance of having awoman in each region to plan events 3' by 5' and be a contact person forwomen making initial contact with the organization. After a good deal of discussion the board voted unanimously to direct the regional directors to appoint a woman's liaison in each region. Knowing that finding the right woman in a particular area may not be easily done, Lin Shepherd volunteered to help any regional directorwho may ask her assistance. Kinship memberjerry Fox has volunteered to begin planning for an SDA Kinship archive. He will begin to assemble materialsfrom SDA Kinship's past for a display at Kampmeeting'86 this summer and then laterlor a permanent archive. Anyone wishing to donate materials to the SDA Kinship archive, please write to: Archivist, SDA Kinship lnt. lnc., PO Box 3840, Los Angeles, CA The board was joined on Sunday afternoon by Robert Armstrong, nationalpresident ol lntegrity, /nc., the Episcopal lesbian and gay support group. He was invited to pariicipate in a number of discussions on topics of joint interest. We appreciated his attendance. On Saturday atlernoon, SDA Kinship members inthe Southern California region provided a magnificent potluck dinner. The large numberof members each brought multiple dishes providing not only food for lunch that afternoon, but dinner that night and lunch the next day. Many thanks to Region 9. The board worked well and certainly sls vvsll...

4 Page 4 Kinship connection March,1986 Question: I da volunteer work faran AIDS supportgroup, but lam carefulto volunteer only forwork that does not require emotional involvement. I avoid personalcontact because I don't want to f ind out which ones have AIDS and ldontwantto hear about it when any of them are hospitalized or die. l'd like to get overthis because lthink I could be more helpful if lweren'ttrying so hard to avoid any pain for myself. What do you suggest. Answer: Each of us has a unique emotional makeup, and different experiences that color how we relate to life situations. Some people, such as physicians and nurses, have learned to deal constantly with death and dying, and may not be as obviously affected by it as you or l. I sense that you are a very caring, sensilive person, but that your capacity to deal directly with pain and griel is somewhat limited. That is nothing of which to be ashamed, orwhich needs apology. You need not feelguilty lor not doing the same things others are doing lor AIDS patients. The point is, you are doing what you can do, what you do best. Some of those in history who have done the mostto relieve suffering were those shy but dedicated souls who never left the laboratory untilthey discovered the cure! Death arouses for all of us old memories of other griefs, other unresolved relationships. Perhapsthis is lhe source of some of yourdiscomfort. It might be uselulforyou to get into some short-term counseling to explore the meaning of your present strong f eelings about suff ering. Allof us find that we have to deny reality to some extent, just to function in the world. Othenruise, the continual story of agony, sadness and death that we see in news broadcasts would immobilize us. What we must try to do is to be honest about ourfeelings and limitations with those closest to us. Then, they are not as likelyto misunderstand our intentions. Continue to make the contribution you can to ease the pain. Your participation, whatever its form, will hasten the day when AIDS is no more. That, I assure you, is the greatest memorial you could build lorlhose who have died... One of our hosts, Hal Jobe, (he's a gourmet cook!) with his mom (and she's very supportive and fun!)

5 March, 1986 Kinship Connection Page 5 Spread the Word lnformational packets are once again available to Kinship members and theirf riends. lf there are individuals or groups that you would like to see receive information on the area of Christianity and homosexuality, send them one of Kinship's packets. Each packet contains: --The ABC's of Understanding Homosexuality --Kinship's Annotated Bibliography --The "Nothing in the world..." brochure --Guidelines for Counselors --The "Homophobia" essay -The Barnett booklet, "Homosexuality and the Bible" --"A Mother Talks Back," an essay about the "change" ministries --Reprints of the Spectrum articles on homosexuality Here is howthe program works. Send usthe name and address (confidentiality assured) ol each person you wish to receive an informational packet. We have created an introductory letter which describes SDA Kinship's intentto educate andwhich announces that a packet will be following in the next {ew days. We have found that this letter creates curiosity and better prepares the intended recipient to receive the new informalion. Afew days laterthe packet itsel{ willbe sent. Fororders of more than one or two packets, wewill, at a reduced rate, send you the material, which you will send out whh the labels we will supply. lf anyone is interested in sponsoring the mailing of packetsto a particular group (for example, allthe ministers in a particular conference, the teacher's at a particular school, etc.), please call Kinship's Los Angeles office at (213) The cost of the Program is: -One ortwo Packets, $5.00 each (we will send them out) --Three Packets or more, $4.00 each (materials sentto you and you willsend the packetsto intended recipients.)... Larry Hallock This is for people over age 35. All others please skip to the next article. The rest of you can skip, too, if you're looking forthe wisdom ol a sage. The admitted fact is, I've hardly begun to comprehend the phenomena of life and age, and the best I can offer are a lew Andy Rooney-like observations. I turned 40 a few weeks ago, having graciously moved on from 39 after only one year. (39 is a good age because one can stay there for so long; but since lile begins at 40, I decided to get on with it.) With 40 being the milestone that it is, l've pondered whether life-assuming l'llreach my life expectancy-is too short or just about right. One thing we "olde/'folk understand (but the kids don't, which is why I excused them) is how 15 or 20 years can seem like fourorfive. Twentyyears ago I was half way through college, which was really, it seems, only about four years ago. After all, I still haven't learned everything, l'm still not rich or ready to retire, and I still picture myself as being about college age. Yes, I'd say it's been about four years since I finished school. At age 40, I am 25 years away lrom age 65. That would translate to about six years, I'd say, except that since time goes faster and fasterthe olderwe get, we havelo adjust: make it f ive years to age 65; add another yeartotake me allthewaytothe end. My answer is, therefore, that life is indeed too short. I'll never be able to get it alllived bythen! On the other hand, considerthat I spent f ive years ( in real time) just figuring out that lwas gay. I spent at least that long discovering that corporale politics exist. lt took me more than 10 years, realtime, to learn to like onions (to say nothing of okra) and about that long to fine{une a good method of balancing my bank statement. Being f rom Kansas, it took me until about aee 25 to discoverthat black people exist and I only in recent years learned that women aren't always treated well. Thefact is, however,lhaltoday I could do or learn all of those sorts of things much more quickly. ln that sense, fourorfive years might now be worth 20 or25, and my life experiences between now and age 65 could, therefore, be the equivalent of life to about age 130! Maybe life is long enough after all. Silly Andy Rooneytalk? Maybe. But it is true that lfeel infinitely better equipped to experience and enjoy life effectively and eff iciently today than I did even five years ago. ln other words, it seems that a moment of loving today can be worth a week of it yesterday. A year of fulf illment today might be worth a whole decade of figuring out what f ulf illment is. ln many ways I wonder if it takes us 40 years just to begin to leelwe're on the right track in life. I suppose some people feel it almost lrom birth, some never at all. I do know it feels better to believe you're on the right track than io f eelyou're not even on one. Maybe that's the way to answer the question ol whether life is too short. As long as we're on the right track-moving, learning, growing, loving-it's easierto believe life isnt too short. Even il it ends tomorrow, having ended on the right track might somehow make it allokay-even il we end up missing'the Color Purple" and atrip we plannedforaugust. Besides, unless there's something I havent heard about, that's as far as anyone can ever get anyway: on the right track toward something."'

6 Mainstream or Underwater? Phil Nash The media is fullof stories these days about how people with varying manifestations of HTLV-3 infection (AlDS, ARC or positive forthe antibody) are suffering discrimination. Recently I was asked by a television journallst how Ifelt about the "polarization" between gays and non-gays due to the growing public concern about AIDS. At first, I said something like, "Well, gee whiz, lguess l'm against it." That was certainly a more than adequate answerto furnish the electronic media with the kind of simpleminded, black and white response on which itthrives. But then I caught myself. lnside me I felt a surge of anger for getting trapped by the repoiler's u nderlying assumptions. First of all, "polarization" has always existed between some gays and some non-gays. AIDS has changed nothing, except now some homophobic simpletons try to get away with saying, "See, ltold you so." The more cunning homophobes are fattening the bank accounts oftheirpseudoreligious empires by blaming qays for allthe "innocent vlclims daids. Gays aren't responsible for this epidemic. We are all innei;eilt vletims ef this disease. The secorid underlying assumption -- that gays stand alone in fighting this elridemic - is even rnor',,. pernicious. it devalues the comrnit ment and the compassion that has characterized the response from virtually every segnrent of the community that has responded to AIDS and its terror. Beneath this assumption is a belief that gays are separate from the rest of society, either by our own desire or because no decent society would permit us access to circles of inlluence and power. Some call itthe "new apartheid." The truth is that gay men and lesbians and the non-gay men and women who have assumed leadership roles in dealing with AIDS are highly respected by the public health off icials, agencies and political f igures whose decisions affect the assault on AIDS a-1{i!s 9{soring, the epidemic of fear-- mon problems. our working relation- AFRAIDS. ships are rapidty heling6wffieo_ ln Colorado, while is not non-gays. always agreement between AIDS activ- We witt neverleegn other in ists and the authorities who make de- the same way again. cisions about AIDS policy, there is at lnevitadly, the mediawillcatch leastdialogue. And it isthecloserela- upwiththe restofusand realizethat tionship between the community AIDS is one issue that defies anyat- tempt to paint it as right or wrong, morat or immoial, gay uers-us straight.-more pasgd organization (cap) and city health olficials that convinced the na- tional centers For Disease controlto and more, RJo's oecomes ahaingiv_e_denver nearly $1 million to study stream health and social issue. It may AIDS prevention forthe next three one day lose its shock value altoyears. This source willfund some cap gether, perhaps becoming as programs. respectable as diabetes or cancer. cap also works closely with But even more imporlant, rhe the colorado Department of Health. AIDS tragedy is calling forth the best Formally and informally, state health within allof us -- gay and non-gay -- to officials consult cap regularly about issues that concern us all. cap is be- shoulder a tremendous burdei. ior gay people, our challenge is learning ing asked to help solve AIDS problems iow'to spread the load around - to let in both the public and private seclor. more and more segments of our sowe haven't covered all the ciety take responsibility lor the epidem- ic and not claim it for ourselves simpty bases, obviously. But never before has an organization that has been built because we were the f irst in line to iutmainly by the gay community had as rich an opportunity to exhibit our resourcef ulness, our courage, our fer its devastating impact. For non- gays, the challenge is to understand ihdt tne resourcefulness of the gay strength and our spirit of compassion community is a bountifultreasuie ihat tothelargersociety. Uniformly,doc- isavailabletoallofhumanity. Tocontors, scientists, socialworkers, policy tinue to permit society to segregate us makers and others with whom we work and force us to lie about who we are have been impressed wlth how much and hide what we know how to do in we do with so few resources besides orderto survive is an abominable disour hard work and our community back- service lo everyone... ing -- especiallywhen AIDS is such a monstrous opponent. And never before have nongay people been as inspired to work hand in hand with gays to solve com- Attributed to Colorado AIDS Project newsletter. Used by permission. This article and several others in this issue of the Connection ate the first ones to be "keyed in" (typed) by Mark Honaker of Southern California. They were sent by electronic transmission over phone lines (via computer modem) directly to us--all ready to be "pasted" into this publication. Isn't technology wonderful! Thanks, Mark, for your enthusiasm, talent and willingness to help with production of the Kinship Connection!

7 Teenage Homosexuality Editols note : The following o riginally apperared in fhe Washington Post as afollow-upto an article bythe author and a letter fequesting this focus. lt is published here as it appeared in a Parents FLAG newsletter. -JVS COMMENT--Sometime ago you wrote about "sex and the single boy," pointing out his sexual responsibilities. lwas disappointed with your assumption that all male teen-agers are heterosexual. This is certainly notthe case. You should have addressed some of the questions that f ace gay teen-agers, or at least mentioned some self-help books. RESPON SE--You r letter led to much researching, soul-searching, and a greater appreciation of the growing-up problems of gays and lesbians. It is stunningly clearthat teenage homosexuals -- boys and girlsneed one attribute above allothers: courage. To grow up different, and to know it, is very hard, especially between the ages of 7 and 16. In these years, when eonformity is the hallmark, children constantly compare themselves to each other and wince at every flaw they think they see. lf their bodies don't match their feelings, a true despair sets in. lt isthe ultimate in nonconlormity. Parents expect their boys to be boys and their girls to be girls, and so do teachers and classmates and everyone's Aunt Tilly. This only makes the hurtworse. Few gay teen-agers dare to tell theirfamilies about it, untilthey leave home, for fear of losing their approval. And yet the price for this is high. The claustrophobia that comes from living in the closet is suffocating and the deception attacks their sense ol honor. People have a terrible need to tell the truth. There's no doubt about it. lt hurts children to grow up gay, and it Mind inltrtotion Mark Honaker Of all of the studies of the human body, the one part that is least understood is the brain. lt is a complex compilation of "grey matter," of which we know very little. However, much studying is being done and one of the facts we do know is this: thatthe brain runs off of little electric impulses known as synapses. Anytime we use the brain the synapses go spouting off and then when we cease using the brain, the synapses in turn also stop. Another fact that we know is that the brain is much like other parts of the body in that if you cease using it for long periods of time it atrophies or, in plain, everyday language, it shrinks, Have you ever seen anybody in the hospital that hasn't used one ol his or her legs forquite some time? The unused leg actually shrinks. We now know that the brain is very similar. lt, too, shrinks when we cease using it. Now, you might ask, "Am I not always using my brain? The answer, quite simply, is no. lf you are given nothing to "think" about, it does not expand. Some things, such as getting dressed, driving to work, elc.,.are already "programmed" into lhe brain, thus no real "thinking" has to be done. lt is only when the brain is stimulated, "exercised" il you will, that it expands, grows, learns, understands. Expanding the brain is exactly what this column willconcern. lt willdeal with the usage of the brain and how we perceive or "see" things. Yes, it may be entertaining; yes, it may be stimulating; yes, it may be provocative. But it will always make you think. There will be reprints and there will be originalwork. lf you f ind something that you think might be of great interest in this area, please send it to the Connection We can atways use articles that stimulate the brain... keeps on hurting untilthey can admit it to the people they love best: their families. This generally doesnt happen untilthe late teens, and some experts saythis is soon enough. Ateen-ager who announces too young, without being absolutely sure, would set up unnecessary problems. However, most gays and lesbians know they're different with the first stirrings of puberty and even before. It appears to be the luck of the dice. According to loday's thinking, homosexuality can be neither caught nortaught, norcan it be reversed. By the time kids know which sex they are, the die has long been cast. There is no choice. No one, however, knows why. The American Psychiatry Association took it out of the mental illness category in 1971, and in 1981 the lndiana University of Sexual Research lnstitute (the Kinsey lnstitute) and the National lnstitute of Mental Health eliminated many other theories in an 1 1-yearstudy of 1,600 homosexuals and heterosexuals. lt found that homosexuality is inconsistent with all of the traditional psychological or sociological explanations then in use. Some scientists believe that early puberty may condition a child for homosexuality - since pre-teens are still hanging around their own sex most of the time - but most current research has a biologicalfocus. lf heterosexuality has a physicalbase, homosexuality may have, too. Hormonal studies have just begun; heredity studies will be published soon; and last year psychobiologist Brian Glandue reported a neuroendocrine diff erence between straight men and gays. No one, however, yet knows whetherthis difference is the cause orthe effect ol homosexuality or il it's particularly relevant. Adele Starr, president of the Federation of Panents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), saysthe only consistent aspect of homosexuality is its inconsistency. lt appears equally in all ethnic groups and in allfamilies: rich or poor; one chih or many;whetherthe parents are single or married; ff

8 WHAT FABULOUS LEADERS WE HAVE! President Bob Bouchard And vice-president Marge Doyle the motherorfatherwas strong or weak. Scientists believe homosexuality has alwdys existed in the population to aboutthe same degree -- about 4 percent who only have homosexual experiences, and another 6 percent who prefertheirown sex but have experimented with the other (some doctors feelthe total is lower, while the gay community feels it's higher). However, none of this matters as much as the way the lamily -- and the child -- handles the situation. Homosexuals deserve the same unconditional love from their parents as any other children -- for they are sons and daughters first -- and they need the same respectfrom theirsiblings and classmates and teachers. Fortheir part, they need to be patient with theirfamilies, who haven't had as long to absorlc and accept the information. And they ought to be discreet, so others will see them as people, not homosexuals. And they need to be strong enough to endure the taunts of others, which will always be part of their lives, although how much a part will depend on how much tension they invite. Above all, young lesbians and gays need to be as sexually responsible as any other teen-agers. This means that sex shouldn't be indulged in too soon. High school students-- straight or gay -- may feel ready for sex, but few are ready {or its consequences. Sex is also too precious to be squandered on chance encounters. Promiscuity is not the only sign of low self-esleem, but it inevitably lowers it more. Teen-agers -- straight orgay-: have to realize that sex only reaches its full joy if it's the result ol a strong and loving relationship. AIDS is another realdanger. Any responsible homosexual, of any age, should beware of pick-ups and should use protection with anyone, unlessthe person has been in a longterm, monogamous relationship. Casualsex is also emotionally dangerous, for it can hurt someone else if it invites affection that is then cast aside. All of this amounts to kindness, to oneself and others. Almost every city has a strong support system for gays. A gay bookstore is a good place to lind out about it. There are manygood booksthere, too, forthe sexually confused orworried ieen-ager -- and their lamilies -- as well as at a large public library. Amongthe best: A Way of Love, AWayof Life by Frances Hanckel and John Qunningham (Lothrop; $7.95); Are You Still My Mother?by Gloria Guss Back (Wamer; $7.95) and A Family Matterby Dr. Charles Silverstein (McGraw-Hill ; $3.95). There's also PFLAG's small, fine, f ree pamphlet in f ive languages, About Our Children Send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to Box 24565, Los Angeles, California Marguerite Kelly

9 And, believe me, they'll do... According to today's thinkirg, homosexuality can neither be caught nor taught, nor can it be reversed. See "Teenage Homosexuality:' p.7

10 Venus in BIue Jeans by Lin Shepherd Did you do something romantic on Valentine's Day--a special meal, candlelight and soft music, a night out? Did you give a carefully chosen card, or send flowers--especially roses? lf so, you were acting out the archetype of Aphrodite*, the goddess of love and beauty. Actually, for you to be {ully personifying the love goddess archetype, the object of your desires needs to be in love with you, too, directly responding to the sensual and sexual energy you are exuding, which your creativity will almost always help you achieve. lf not, the pain is intense. Most of us have experienced the euphoria of the love goddess, when everyone and everything is golden. We are beautiful, and our love is magic. A person who is predominantly an Aphrodite type may continually pass from one relationship to another, electrifying each lover with unspeakable charms. Alternatively, she may ply her creativity and passion on one intense project after another. Or she may combine both aspects and move {rom lover to lover as well as {rom project to project, following her instincts in what results in a rather unconventional life. Cultivating Aphrodite (called Venus by the Romans) is definitely recommended lor couples. Sex therapists teach "unfocused focusing"--1gp;s6- ing orgasmic focus with focus on whatever sensory pleasures present themselves at the momenl. Guilt and judgment barriers have to be replaced with a spirit of joy and play. Massage, vacations together away from worries, or activities that help people become more comfortable with their own bodies (such as: dance classes, sun bathing, body toning) can help Aphrodite develop. There are, as with all archetypes, some problems if she becomes uncontrollable. Women, much more than men, will be criticized for sexual promiscuity or preoccupation. There may be unwanted pregnancies. For women and men, there may be sexually transmitted diseases. Longterm relationships are next lo impossible (consider Elizabeth Taylor), and she often enters relationships with people who plainly are not good for her. Furlher, she probably will not like her job or do well at it unless it is something she can be emotionally involved with. Lesbian Aphrodites are so committed to experiencing everything life has to offer that they often have relationships with men as well as with women, each being important. However, the lesbian may have greater lreedom than her helerosexual counterpart to exercise the Aphrodite characteristic of picking and choosing her lovers, having gay community support for an unconventional lifestyle. ln fact, Aphrodite may be awakened in a woman through a relationship with another woman, her own beauty being realized as she gazes at the beauty of another, and so forlh. Gi-0DDESS BI,IAtrT Which Goddess ls Supreme? Within each woman several goddesses may be "competing" for control, or one may obviously predominate. They may take turns, or one may pass the torch to another as you move through the stages of your life. For example, as a child lwas clearly a Persephone, adapting sweetly to expedations o{ the people around me and thriving on their approval, complete with Persephone's unexpected turn toward independence. Now I am a combination of Athena and Atemis, both virgin goddesses, with a good sprinkling of Aphrodite, and, to my dismay, a persistent thread of Persephone's weaker side. The impodance of identifying one's archetypes consists in identifying strengths and weaknesses, most of which cannol be detailed here, and working within the scope of those, developing the desirable aspects you lack, and diminishing the objectionable ones you dislike. The stories of the Greek goddesses provide a visual experience in which we can readily see ourselves reacting in the same ways they did when in similar situations. One value of the stories is they set us up lo understand a situation whhout having prejudged it. Then with this wider scope of self-knowledge we obtain power to shape new stories that have the endings we choose them to have. *Stressed like "She is mighty." name & station type roles Artemis-Goddess of Hunt and Moon Virgin/lndependent Sister, Competitor, Feminist Athena-Goddess of Wisdom & Crafts Virgin/lndependent Father's Daughter, Strategist Hestia-Goddessoi Hearth &Temple Virgin/lndependent Maiden Aunt, Wise Woman Hera--Goddess of Marriage Vulnerable/Dependent Wife, Commitment Maker Vulnerable/Dependent Mother, Nurturer Demeter--Goddess of Grain Persephone-Maiden, Queen ol Underworld Vulnerable/Dependent Mothe/s Daughter, Receptivist Aphrodite-Goddess of Love & Beauty Alchemical/Magical Lover, Creative Woman Some have expressed an interest in discussing these personality archetypes further. I know some have already readthebookthesethoughts are entirelyborrowedfrom (Goddesses in Everywoman, by Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD; Harper & Row, 1984). Whether you have or not, write or phone yourviewsto rne: agree, disagree, understand myself better, understand my lover better, l'm a _, etc. --ts, 643 N Hollywood Way, Burbank CA 91505; (B1B) B4B-464t1

11 March,'1986 Kinship Connection Paqe 11 Ed of Region 9 and our marvelous host, Richard Russell! Secretary, Pam, doing her usual superjob! Bob Holland, director of Region 9, leads in a Sabbath morning devotional. A_11ph-otographs in this month's publication are taken by Larry Hallock.

12 Nothing could be better than... A Trip to Kampmeeting 'Bo And avacation All ln One! JeremyYoung Kampmeeting'86 willbe held atthe Cedar Glen Conference Centre in Bolton, just outside of Toronto, from August The conference retreat is just 20 miles f rom Toronto's Pearson lnternational Airport, and only 35 miles from downtown Toronto. Nestled among the gently rolling hills near Bolton, Cedar Glen is comprised of 266 acres of land in its natural state. No setting is so conducive to quiet inspiration, serious thought and fresh insight as is this one where you'llfind yoursell both close to and in tune with nature. For those who prefer a little more f un to break from workshop sess'rons or scheduled meetings, there is an olympicsize swimming pool. Or you may hike the trails and study nature firsthand. Free time will be scheduled during the week for you to do some sight-seeing without having to miss scheduled meetings. But you should spend a week or two, or even just a f ew days, before or after Kampmeeting week, galavanting Toronto and the surrounding attractions. The next few issues of the Connection will feature articles on the popu- Iar tourist attractions in the Toronto area. This month we feature-- METROPOLITAN TORONTO There are towers of gold that thrust skyward. There are Victorian villas under a mantle of green. There are great stores and markets, museums and galleries, firstrate live theatre and exquisite cuisine. There is everything from strolling and snacking to limousines and haute cuisine in Toronto! Some of the things you can join in are things Torontonians of the pasl never dreamed of:.a Caribbean carnival..a 60- cuhure lnternational Festival..An lndian or curry or Japanese sukiyaki, Czechoslovakian raznici or deep-south soul food. lmmigrants brought these things and thereby enriched their adopted city with their food, their vitality and their proof that the outside world really exists. GETTING AROUND-ln Toronto you'lt find living proof that the automobile is not the only answer to Norlh America's transportation problems. This is one North American city with an eff icient, clean, safe public transit system which combines subways, streetcars and buses to take you from wherever you are to wherever you're going. Toronto has the largest trolley car system in North America, providing a unique means of seeing the city. The CN TOWER is the world's tallest free-standing structure and the city's highest vantage point affording fantastic views in all directions feet f rom the top of the transmission mast to the surface of the reflecting pool at the base, it's a tourist attraction (1.8 million visitors per year) as well as a communication tower with indoor and outdoor observation decks and the world's largest revolving restaurant at the 1,100 feet level, reached by glass-f ronted outside elevators. THE CITY BELOW. The city otfers a unique perspective ol its life below street level. Linked by walkways and subways, it's possible to travel a distance of several miles without ever stepping outside. Underground you can connect with the four major banks'towers in the city core, shop lor virtually anything, dine in some of our most splendid eating establishments, gain access to a number of hotels or simply stroll about soaking up the atmosphere. The heaft of this vast network is the glass atrium of the Eaton Centre. Stretching several city blocks and descending four levels beneath the city streets, this contemporary version o{ the Galleria in Milan houses shops of every description, pubs, restaurants and movie theaters. Greenery tumbles downward, trees and water fountains thrust upward and 60 fiberglass geese frozen in time, fly high overhead. CANADA'S WONDERLAND. An exciting new 370 acre theme park, featuring Hanna-Barbera Land, the Smurfs, the exciting Whitewater Canyon Ride, the stand-up roller coaster SkyRider, dazzling Broadway-style shows and shopping on lnternational Street are all just a 15-minute drive from Cedar Glen Conference Centrel ONTARIO SCIENCE CENTRE. Parr museum, part fun-fair and utterly new in structure and impact, the OSC is based on a concept of relevance-participation to demonstrate that science and technology are a visible and engrossing pafi of our lives. Visitors are to touch, feel and experiment with exhibits that are designed to be used. The buihings are beautiful, buih down the side of a ravine, linked with glass-enclosed ramps and escalators that are worth a trip in themselves, HARBOURFRONT. This watedront redevelopment, a favorite haunt of Torontonians, stretches two and one-half miles along Lake Ontario. The main York Quay Center offers theater, films, concerts, cafes, craft studios and a host of special activities. There's an antique market yearround. Further along, a renovated warehouse, the newly-opened Queen's Quay Terminal, houses specialty boutiques, waterside cafes and the new Premier Dance Theater. At Harbourfront's eastern end you can board a ferry and take a pleasant ten-minute ride across to the Toronto lslands where Hanlon's Point is a popular nude (but not legal)/gay beach which has been in such use for over 50 years. OF PARTICULAR INTEREST TO LESBIANS AND GAY MEN. Carvtra Square and 519 Church Street Community Centre have been popular meeting places for lesbians and gays for more than a decade. Glad Day Bookstore on Yonge Street is surviving and thriving despite a long history of harassment by police and customs. Toronto Women's Bookstore is on Harbord Street. Division 52, Metro Toronto Police, is a familiar place to visit after the Bath House raids. The US Consulate was the site of IGA action in 1981, part of worldwide protests against anti-gay US immigration laws. There are over 20 gay and/or lesbian clubs in the downtown Toronto area. At least four of them cater primarily to lesbians. The men's clubs cater to a variety of tastes, ranging {rom piano bars to disco to punky new wave, from moustaches to leather, from denim to preppy, from videos to f emale impersonators. Next month we'll feature cuhural Toronto. ln the meantime, make plans NOW to be in Toronto for Kampmeeting '86 in August.-.

13 March, 1986 Kinship Connection Paqe 13 I a.o,rrro tt e i\{auo, I VISITATION RIGHTS REVOKED THOMASTON, MA ln E-Visitation rights were revoked for a gay man who kissed his lover while visiting him at Maine State Prison. Peter Baughman, 29, hugged prisoner Daniel Nuhy,27, and kissed him on the cheek. Baughman is appealing the decision through the Maine Department of Corrections.--DLG GAY MARINE GIVEN HONORABLE DISCHARGE LOS ANGELES--Sergeant Rolf R. Lindblom, who applied for an honorable discharge on the grounds thal he is a homosexual, has f inally gotten his wish. The f irst time he made his request he was turned down due to "inadequate justif ication." An administrative clerk at the Marine Corps Reserve Training Center in Los Angeles, Lindblom, who was named 1984 Marine of the Year at his duty station, said he had been asked to provide proof of his homosexualhy when he {irst applied for discharge. He refused. Lindblom appealed the ruling and in late November his "second request met allthe requirements for an honorable discharge according to the Marine Corps Separation and Retirement Manual." However, Lindblom said he only made one request and did not give his superior officers any additionaldetails, adding, "l'm grad it's all over."--dlg NATIONAL BLACK GAY GROUP HOLDS CONFERENCE ST. LOUIS--The National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays held its annual conference here November 29 to December 1. The keynote address was given by Henry Chinn, assistant director of Cooperative Legal Education, Northeastern University, Boston. Morethan 200 Afro-American lesbians and gay men met for three days to discuss issues of major importance to the community and to devise strategies to address the myriad of oppressions they face. NCBLG, orginally the National Coalition of Black Gays, has chapters in Washington, DC, Baltimore, San Francisco, Boston and Minnesota.--DLG NATIONAL GAY TV SHOW TO BE PRODUCED KEY WEST--Telecom m unications, lnc., affiliate TClChannel5, willbe producing a gay-oriented TV show called Upfront. To be distributed nationwide to its 1800 cable television systems. The show will be produced by gay writer Tim Barrus and gay photographer Bill Bowers. Upf ront will explore the world of gay publishing, the current health crisis, safesex options, gays in history, gay custody issues, legislative concerns, gay pride and will feature a weekly news update covering news around the country that relates to the gay community.--dlg AFL-CIO SUPPORTS GAY RIGHTS BOSTON--According 1o Bay Windows, lhe AFL-CIO passed a resolution calling for increased federal funding for AIDS research and education, job protection for both heahh care workers and persons with AIDS still able to work and denouncing screening "high-risk groups." At its national convention in November, the labor organization also reaffirmed its twoyear-old resolution supporling gay riehts. --DLG BAR CHANGES SEXUAL ORIENTATION SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA.. South Dakota's first gay bar, the Brass Act is now a straight bar. The owners of the bar, David Myers and Gregory Meyers said the change was made because of "poor supporl f rom the gay clientele."--dlg AND, FROM OVERSEAS DUTCH COUPLES FIRST TO WIN ''MARRIED" BENEFITS ASMSTERDAM--Lesbian and gay couples in the diplomatic services here will be eligible lor the same benefits as married heterosexual couples, beg inning January 1. The new regulation will allow lesbians and gay men to receive the 40 percent salary supplement lor a lover, currently available for only married couples. The Netherlands is the first country in the world to introduce this type of regulation.--dlg SOME SEXUAL PRACTICES OUT OF DANGER? VANCOUVER, CANADA-- Vancouver medical study suggests oral sex not likely to transmil AIDS virus. Oral sex may soon be off the list of endangered sexual practices. A series of articles published last June and July in the Canadian Medical Association Journal suggests that, among sexual practices, only anal intercourse is signif icant in the transmission of the virus believed to trigger AIDS. The authors of the article say that similar findings are being made in the US and Europe. The afiicles repoft the results of sophisticated statistical analyses of data gathered by the Vancouver Lymphadenopathy-A Ds Study starting in 1982 and involving more than 700 men. Of greatest immediate interesl to the gay male public is the second of the adicles which reports on factors {ound to be associated with exposure 1o the AIDS virus (as indicated by the presence in the blood ol AIDS virus antibodies). Exposure to the virus is not the same thing as coming down with the disease. Only about 15% of those exposed go on to develop AIDS or ARC, a mild form o{ AIDS. According to the report, "more than 100 male sexual partners in one's liletime, frequent receptive anal intercourse, fisting (an uncommon sexual practice), a history of gonorrhea or hepatitis and frequent sexual contact in elubs" stood out as features which differentiated those carrying AIDS virus antibodies f ronn those who do not" Significantly, no correlation was found between exposure to AIDS and swallowing semen. Dr. Mafiin Schechter, one of the authors of the report, confirmed this finding in an interview withthe BodyPolftrb [Toronto's major gay publication] when he stated, "Oral sexual activity is not a major mode of transmission." Schechter added, "There is no evidence that I know of that the virus is transmitted by oral activity." And, "l would be surprised if it [the AIDS virus]werent destroyed by the ph [acid] levels of the stomach.' He did caution that the virus could enterthe blood stream directly if there were cuts or lesions in the mouth or throat. Much the same opinion on the relative safety of oral sex came from Dr. Rick Mathias, a member of the panel which advises AIDS Vancouver on technical matters. Mathias said the AIDS virus "is very easily killed by minor changes in ph levels" such as would occur upon entering the stomach. He also pointed out that the upper digestive tract (mouth, throat, esophagus and stomach) "is not an absorptive site," meaning that it is unlikely the AIDS virus could get into the blood in those parts ol the body, except through a cut or tear in the lining. Many doctors in Vancouver are openiy telling their patients that oral sex is low risk but some also feel the evidence is not conclusive. There is nothing magic about the ligure of 100sexual parlners in a lifetime. For the purpose of analysis, subjects in the study were divided into two groups: 1) those who have had fewer than 100 partners, and 2) those who have had 1 00 or more. The latter group showed a higher

14 Page 14 Kinship Connection March incidence of exposure to the AIDS virus. A practical conclusion would be that, all other things being equal, the more sex partners you've had, the more likely it is that you've been exposed to the virus. Receptive anal intercourse as a risk factor refers to [being anally penetrated] by a partner who doesnt use a condom. Onefinal interesting finding was that greater exposure to [the] AIDS [virus]was associated whh the use of the drugs MDA and LSD, but no correlation was lound with the use of poppers, often suggested as a factor in AIDS. --By Ken Popert. -Submitted lolhe Kinship Connection by Jeremy Young, president of Kinship Canada. Thank you, Thank yor.l The board's many thanks to Richard Russell and Hal Jobe for once again opening their home lor the invasion that we modestly call a board meeting. Their graciousness as they fed, lodged and transported board members, and otherwise facilitated our business meeting is so very much appreciated. Our love to you both. Bob Bouchard Also, we must say how much it means to us to have the kind of support we experience from you, the readers of the Kinship Connection! But, particularly worthy of mention ATE the WONDEBFUL PEOPLE OF REGION 6 who have helped us month after month with the task of getting the newsletter ready to mail and sent out. Of all the help we've had, several names stand out as people who have been repeatedly available and willing: Jonathan David, Ted Hurley, Harlan Hedrick, Lee Harding. We've had a lot of fun together, haven't wel But, after nearly four years, it's time we pass the torch on that part ol ou r lask. And, to you, the faith{ul several from Region 9, Hal, John, Michael, Richard and Robed, who are committed to the same deadline for assembly of the Connection that we've been committed to, we thank you and wish you well! Your part of the task will lighten our load by at least a third. THANKS, good luck and have lots of lunl Vickiand Emy Lou Regional Region 1-North Atlantic New England Chapter- A small group of Kinship members spent Sabbath, February 8, together in Boston. After a cool staft at The Boston Temple of Seventh-day Adventists (the heat wasnt working too well), a potluck was held at the home o{ David Gray, followed by a lively discussion of issues ranging from "labels" to the interpretation of various biblical passages. lt was good to have two new faces, Denise W. and Rod K. with us. The discussion was led by our good f riend and former pastor. Plans call for getting together again in April. Look for more details in your next regional mailing. --David Gray New York City Chapter: Philadelphia Chapter: To learn more about activities in any ol Hegion 1, call Obed or write to him at: PO Box 1112, Paterson, New Jersey Obed Vazquez (201) Region 2-Middle Atlantic Dennis Haley (703) s4 Region 3--Southern Jim Foxworthy (813) Region 4-Great Lakes Be sure and mark down the weekend of March 22 as the date for our next regional meeting. lt will be held in the Kerry Center at Camp Warren near Berrien Springs, Michigan. We are planning to meet about noon on Sabbath, lhe22nd,lor a potluck lunch to be followed by a business meeting and smaller group discussions. We will also have available the video tape, coordinated and produced by John Heelan, showing happenings of the past several Kampmeetings. This music and audio production is one that will inspire all of you to make plans to attend this summer's Kampmeeting! Please bring some of your favorite table games to be a part of our evening entertainment. lwish to encourage all attendees to stay overnight in the area so we may again meet for brunch on Sunday morning. lf you need information about local accomodations, please contact me. I also wish lo announce the appointment of Bill Ledford as coordinator of our Chicago chapter. Any Chicago area readers may feel lree to contact Bill about local activities and plans. See your regional letter for Bill's address. Gary Stebbeds (715) Region 5-Great Plains Many thanks to Tom and Tom for opening their home to us again. There was a nice group on hand for the Sabbath afternoon potluck. lt was a pleasure to have my parents meet more of my Kinship lamily, but it was also sad that Celeste, who has joined us for many of our meetings in College Station, is leaving us for California. We have no current plans lor another meeting, but as we get to know each other it will be nice to see each other more and more. Terre Price (713) Region 6--Rocky Mtn. "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted are the most terrible poveny." -Mother Teresa, Nobel Prize Winning Catholic missionary to lndia. Things have been all quiet here in Region 6 since our last lunction in January. By the time this issue of the Connection is in your hands, we in Region 6 will have gotten together to assemble and mail it for the last time. As we are doing the assembly, we are also enjoying an evening of good food and watching the video of "The Life and Times of Harvey Milk." John Heelan and Robert Foerch f rom Region 9 (southern California) have come to learn the assembly process and share their f riendship. Vicki's job as editor has been a major labor ol love that has become almost too much, so the

15 1 986 f uture printing and distribution duties are going to be handled in Southern Calilornia. PIan Ior a March get together, specifics of which will be announced in the regional mailing. Ted Hurley (303) Region 7-Pacific NW OurJanuary meeting included an evening of roller skating at a local amusement pan on Saturday night and then a potluck brunch the next day at Myron and Steve's house. Thanks alot for your warm hospitality! As usual, the food was great, too good forthose of us who were still recovering from our holiday indulgences. We were happy to see several new faces at that meeting and look fonarard to seeing them again at our meetings. The March meeting willbe held in Portland on the weekend of the 1sth and 16th. Details will be mailed to our region's members later. Please plan on attending, we all need each otherl Dennis Deming (503) Region 8-Central Pacific The 18th was the date for the Region 8 January meeting held at Ren's home in the Sacramento area. The group en.joyed a wonderful potluck, a very special spiritual discussion and an excellent Parents FLAG video. Our warm and relaxed conversations were experiences in intellectual, spirhual and communal growth. On Saturday, February 1Sth our region's meeting was in San Francisco. Thank you Marcus and Bob for your warm hospitality. Thank you Malcom for spiritual guidance. And thank you everyone for sharing your recipes, humor, music, love and care. Region 8's goal is to have an active and energetic Bay Area Chapter ready for off icial recognition by the time the Kinship board meets at Kampmeeting in Toronlo. Lookfor more details regarding the San Francisco meeting in the April Connection as this is being written five days prior to the meeting in order to make copy deadline. The next Region I meeting willbe on March 15th. There is a possibility of two meetings on that day so mark Kinship on your calendar and wait lor the regional mailing for time and place. Connection The Hawaii Chapter has a meeting scheduled for March 8th. Congratulations Hawaii, you're an official Kinship chapter! lthank each of you for the dedication and effort that brought you together. Each of you willbe blessed in many ways. IMPORTANT NEWS UPDATE Craig Robeds is still hospitalized in San Francisco at this writing ( ). Please remember him and Vern Schlenker in your prayers. Both Vern and Craig appreciate your prayers, cards,. letters and phone calls. All have given them courage and have helped sustain their faith. Vern's laith in God's love and healing power has been an inspiration to many. That faith is an extraordinary gift to each of us. Vern and Craig's address is: PO Box 4768, San Francisco, CA Please feel free to contact me for current phone numbers and an update when you get this issue of the Connection. For new Kinship members: Vern is a Kinship pastpresident and Craig dreamed Kinship Kontact into existence. ONLY FIVE MONTHS TILL KAMPMEETING! Aloha, Ren Ren Reynolds (916) 48s-1694 Region 9-So. Cal. & Ariz. Our February 15 meeting was held at Errol's in Hollywood. Our purpose was primarily to discuss regional business and to report to the members those matters of interest to our region which were dealt with by the board in its January session. lshared with the members of Region I the fact that our steady growth, and its resuhing duties, make it necessary for us to find ways to distribute work and specialize tasks even more. The regional director simply cannot do everything! It is exciting to be part of such an ever-expanding organization, and to have such fun doing it! Again, many thanks to allof you in this region who help carry the responsibilities. ll you are not involved in Region g and want to be, why not come to our next meeting? lf you need to get on my regional mailing list, please give me a phone call. Plans {or March, still in formation, call for an all-day workshop which will be open to any member wishing to attend. I will give details in my March letter. Bob Holland (714) 687-9s57 Region 1O-CANADA The members of the board of directors of Kinship Canada held board meetings via conference call on January 5, Business was discussed and plans were made at that time. These include, among others, our advertising campaign, which is currently in progress in Montreal and Toronto, with plans for Ottawa, Kingston, Cornwall, Saskatoon and possibly Winnipeg as well. We are limiting advertising to areas where we have members who are willing to act as local contact persons. Anyone who wishes to sponsor advertising in the local newspapers in their respective cities, please do not hesitate to contact me for details and instructions. We have a budget to pay lor a limited number of ads, and your tax-deductible donations would be most helpful. Plans and fund-raising are also in the works for our nation-wide clergy packet project. Anyone who can help with this project is invited to contact me. Kinship members in the Toronto area had an impromptu meeting on the 18th of January when we were honored by the visit of two Kinship members from the US-one from Region 1 and the other from Region 4. At the time of this wrhing, our next scheduled meeting is planned for February 16th. Please contact me lor details of future meetings. A Happy Easterto each and every one of you! Jeremy Young (416) s6 The next three issues of the Kinship Connection promise to be very special ones; you may even want to keep them! Here's what you can expect: APRIL-A special report on sexual orientation. Cause? And is it changeable? Lookfor a major article by Bill Ledford, PhD, "WHATTHE STUDIES SHOW." MAY-What hasthe SDA Church done about homosexuality? The topic's treatment in SDA journals is explored. How do non-sda churches handle homosexuality? JUNE-What about Quest or Homosexuals Anonymous? And the bottom line on the "change" ministries, with Kinship's evaluation in the major article, "Does lt Work?"

16 I nitr t Pr.c*-l Evangelicals Concerned are also having a summer conference, connections6, scheduled for the weekend of May 30 to June I at Kirkridge in eastern Pennsylvania and over the July 4th weekend on the campus of the University of California at Santa Cruz. For many, being "ex-gay" does not necessarily denote being "freed from homosexuality"...rather, still "struggling" with or no longer "practicing" homosexuality. lt frequently means that there is a signifbant decrease, though not necessarily a complete elimination of homosexual behavior, suggests Doug Houck, founder of Metanoia. Another "exgay," Russ McCraw, intimates that celibate homosexuality is not freedom from homosexuality, nor a good witness to the gay worldl Fundamentalist Houston mayoral candidate, Louie Welch, when questioned about hls plans lor controlling AIDS, was picked up by a microphone which he did not realize to be "live" as saying that one way was to "shoot the queers." He lost the election. Billy Graham suggests that homosexuality!s no more sinful than iealousy [Of course, we do not see homosexuality as sinlulat alll -JVSI; another preacher, Donald Cole, has stated that "hypocrisy and wickedness in men who pose as true believers is worse than blatant homosexuality.' Cole also goes on to say that he would rather be in a room full of diseased homosexuals than on a highway patrolled by one or two drunk drivers; and as for AIDS being a punishment from God:"We'd expect Him to be more include homosexual women!" Victims of AIDS have been called the 'New Lepers." Those active in mission outreach who have long been helping lepers on a worldwide scale, should now find a whole new field of mission endeavor with this new class of outcasts. As lor AIDS being a judgmentfrom God, why did He wait untilthe 1980's? Homosexuality has been with us from time immemorial! One of our own SDA editorials laments the similarities between the way religious people viewed lepers in biblical times and the way AIDS victims are viewed today--as the "untouchable" targets ol God's retribution. Fortunately, many so-called Chrisiians are losing their credibility over this AIDS issue; and those involved in AIDS research are increasingly looking on them as idiots and bigots. Been *excommunicated?" Some excom m unicated Latter-Day Saints h ave lormed a new church based on fundamental Mormon teachings but emphasizing equality for all...including gays and lesbians! The Bits & Pieces column this month has been compiled from the Evangelicals Concerned newsletter, "Record.' Th anks, Jonathan David for doing this compilation for us! -JYS Following are the names and birthdates of some of the Kinship peoplewith birthdays in March. May your birthday be a very happy one. The Kinship family loves you! Wayne E. Allen Signa S. Allen-Arreola C. Edwin Baer I Harlan Hedrick Alan Hoston Jay Howard------* Thomas Kopriva Larry Larrabee g Tim McC lu re James O'Grady Randal I Stelfan James Tyler lf you'd like your name to be included in the list when it's your month, please give us your permission. MARCH 1986 IL rj :} L! GALENDAR SCHEDULE APRIL Region 3-The Southerners THIS MONTH HalJobe & Richard Russell AFTER THAT?? Why not YOUI Write Vicki and be avolunteerll I bet even ht people can make calendars!

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