Shepherding a Child s Heart by Tedd Tripp. FL 528 Parenting Education. Susan Buck. Concordia University-Nebraska

Transcription

1 Theoretical Paper 1 Shepherding a Child s Heart by Tedd Tripp FL 528 Parenting Education Susan Buck Concordia University-Nebraska 8/22/2014

2 Theoretical Paper 2 I. Author Background Information Ted Tripp, the author of Shepherding a Child s Heart, is the senior pastor of Grace Fellowship Church in Hazleton, Pennsylvania and an experienced counselor, teacher, administrator of Immanuel Christian School. He and his wife have three adult children and seven grandchildren. He has taught thousands of young parents at his church and at hundreds of seminars. Tripp shares that the parents he has met through his church and seminars have had great influence on his walk with God and on the content of his book (Tripp, 2005, Preface, p. xiii). II. The Central Focus/Research Support for the Book The central focus of Shepherding a Child s Heart, is not the accumulation of data and statistics supporting the effectiveness of the book; nor is the central focus the externals of controlling and constraining behavior (Tripp, 2005, Preface, p. xi). The central focus of the book is the Bible and biblical truth. Tripp references Proverbs 4:23: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. According to Tripp, The Scripture teaches that the heart is the control center for life (Tripp, 2005, p. 3). Jesus says, For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). Children s words and actions reflect their hearts; as a result, correction and discipline must focus on heart issues rather than behavior modification issues. III. What Has Gone Wrong? Why Don t the Old Ways of Parenting Work? Tripp shares that our culture has lost direction in regards to parenting. The former strategies of parenting no longer work. He attributes parents problems to: Many people have children but do not want to be parents. Our culture has convinced parents that they must pursue personal self-fulfillment and that children are an interference. Parents spend very limited quality time rather than quantity time with their children.

3 Theoretical Paper 3 It s no longer acceptable for Dad to be the boss and authority at home. Spouse s and children s rights and freedom take priority. Children raised in families with no authority figure no longer respond to authority as they did in previous generations. They do not exhibit external submission. They no longer sit in neat rows in school, ask permission to speak, or fear consequences of talking back to their parents. Parents keep trying to utilize the approaches that their parents used; for example, they continue to use the You listen to me, kid, or I ll cuff you method. We have overlooked biblical methods and goals. We have not even tried God s ways. (Tripp, 2005, Introduction pgs. xvii-xix). IV. Is There Hope for Today s Parents? Tripp asserts that there is hope for today s parents. He shares that parents can raise children in godly ways. According to Tripp, parenting is a multifaceted task. It involves being a kind authority, shepherding children to understand themselves in God s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you [their parents] as people under God (Tripp, 2005, Introduction p. xix). V. Parents Overarching Goal: To Teach Their Children to Live for the Glory of God Tripp asks parents to reflect upon the goal of parenting. Is the goal of parenting control and simply securing appropriate behavior? If so, he shares that parents will never help their children to understand the internal issues of self-love, rebellion, anger, bitterness, envy, and pride of the heart (Tripp, 2005, Preface, p. xii). And without the understanding of these internal issues and their need for grace, children miss the power and grace of the gospel. They miss their need for grace and their need for Jesus as their Savior. One of the most important goals/callings of parenting is: To display the greatness, goodness, and glory of God for whom they [children] are made. Parents have the opportunity, through word and deed, to show children the one true object of worship the God of the Bible. We know that the greatest

4 Theoretical Paper 4 delights our children can ever experience are found in delighting in the God who has made them for his glory (Tripp, 2005, Preface, p. xii). Parents must set a biblical worldview before their children. They must teach their children that they are made in the image of God and made for God. Children must learn that they will only find themselves as they find Jesus. Children must grow to understand that real living is experienced when they stand before God and say, Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you (Psalm 73: 25 in Tripp, 2005, p. 46). VI. Discarding Unbiblical Methods Parents must discard the following unbiblical methods: I Didn t Turn Out So Bad making the excuse to employ the same method their parents used, justifying the method with the statement, I didn t turn out so bad. Pop Psychology using superficial approaches such as bribery and contracts to control behavior Behavior Modification reward good behavior in a tangible way; ignore or punish bad behavior Emotionalism appealing to children s sense of emotional well-being through fear, shame or emotional privation/isolation Punitive Correction using the threat of punishment to control children. Examples include hitting, yelling, and grounding Erratic Eclecticism inconsistent, constantly changing methods practiced by frustrated parents (Tripp, 2005, pgs ). VI. Biblical Parenting Methods: Communication and The Rod Tripp advocates a biblical parenting approach including communication and the rod. He promotes rich forms of communication rather than rules, correction, and discipline. Rich forms of communication include: encouragement, correction, rebuke, entreaty, instruction, warning, teaching, and prayer. In regards to the rod/spanking, he believes the simple issue is, Am I going to be obedient to the Word of God? In his audio blog, How do we deal with the spanking problem in our culture? Tripp shares, I think it s a huge mistake for parents not to

5 Theoretical Paper 5 physically discipline children, especially little children (Tripp, 2012, Retrieved from Tripp goes on to reference John Piper, founder and teacher of desiringgod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College and Seminary. John Piper, like Tripp, advocates the use of the rod. He shares, I just think spanking is really healthy for children. It is a measured deliverance of a non-damaging act of mild pain that makes the child feel the seriousness of what he s done. It is not beating. It is not abuse. There is a clear difference (Piper, 2009, retrieved from VII. Can the Misuse of Biblical Teaching on Spanking Result in Death? Conservative Christians have been blamed for the violence of parents and for the death of children. An example includes: Michael and Debi Pearl, founder of No Greater Joy Ministries and authors of book, To Train Up a Child, have advocated using plastic tubing as a spanking instrument. In 2012, adoptive Liberian parents beat their seven-year-old child, Lydia Schatz, with a similar plastic tube after she mispronounced a word. According to a local district attorney, Pearls advice to use the plastic tubing as a spanking instrument gave license to Lydia s parents to beat their child (Thou shalt not abuse: reconsidering spanking, 2012, Retrieved from VIII. Implications for Family Life Educators I believe Family Life Educators must exercise extreme professional judgment in presenting the content of Shepherding a Child s Heart. They must be certain to carefully assess their audience by asking questions including: Are the parents Christian? Do the families have a history of abuse and neglect? Do they suffer from substance abuse? The substance abuse question is a critical one because studies conclude that children whose parents abuse alcohol and other drugs are three times more likely to be abused and more than four times more likely to be

6 Theoretical Paper 6 neglected than children from non-abusing families (National child abuse statistics, n.d., retrieved from VIX Implications for my Lesson Plan and PowerPoint I have personal reservations about teaching spanking as an effective form of discipline in today s culture. I think it is very difficult to truly know the families in our communities. I believe our families are much more private today and our society is more transient, making it difficult for others to know their backgrounds and histories. How do we really know what is going on behind closed doors within a home? Because of my reservations and because my lesson plan and PowerPoint are designed to be used out in the community rather than within the church setting, I have chosen to address communication only.

7 Theoretical Paper 7 References: National Child Abuse Statistics. (n.d.). Retrieved August 22, 2014, from Piper, J. (2009, February 16). Would Jesus Spank a Child? Retrieved August 22, 2014, from Ted, T., & Margery, T. (2010, September 29). Instructing a child's heart [Audio blog post]. Retrieved August 22, Tedd Tripp. (n.d.). Retrieved August 8, 2014, from Thou shalt not abuse: Reconsidering spanking [Editorial]. (2012, January 16). Christianity Today. Retrieved August 22, 2014, from Tripp, T., & S. (2012, February 29). How do we deal with the spanking controversy in our culture? [Audio blog post]. Retrieved August 22, 2014, from Tripp, T., & Tripp, M. (2008). Instructing a child's heart. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press. Tripp, T. (2001). Shepherding a child's heart: Parent's handbook. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press. Tripp, T. (2005). Shepherding a child's heart (2nd ed.). Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press. Tripp, T. (August). About Us. Retrieved August 22, 2014, from