The Meal Interview: Eat, Drink and Make a Good Impression Plus Business Etiquette Tips

Transcription

1 The Meal Interview: Eat, Drink and Make a Good Impression Plus Business Etiquette Tips Created and presented by Susan Timko, susantimko@gmail.com

2 How We Benefit from Using Etiquette... 1 Invitation Etiquette... 1 Repondez s il vous plait... 1 Dining Etiquette... 1 Let s Begin... 1 At the Table... 1 Napkins... 1 Alcohol... 1 Silverware... 2 Passing... 2 Charger Plates... 2 Review of the Courses... 2 Bread/Butter Plate... 2 Soup... 3 Salad... 3 Sorbet... 3 Entree... 3 Dessert... 3 Beverages... 3 The Check... 3 Other Tips... 4 Awkward Food that is too Hot or Spoiled... 4 Choking... 4 Coughing and Sneezing... 4 Blowing Your Nose... 4 Unpleasant Items in Your Food... 4 Food Stuck in a Tooth... 5 Business Etiquette... 5 Introductions... 5 Networking Event Etiquette... 5 Telephone Technique Etiquette... 6 Conversation Tips... 6 Tips on Tipping... 6

3 How We Benefit from Using Etiquette Manners are a combination of common sense, generosity of spirit, and some specific know-how that helps us do things thoughtfully and with care for others. Etiquette is the guiding code that enables us to practice these manners, to celebrate our traditions and ceremonies, and to be flexible enough to value the rights, traditions, and beliefs of others at the same time. Keep in mind that by using manners and etiquette we are helping ourselves as well as others feel comfortable. This in turn will benefit all professionally and socially. Invitation Etiquette Repondez s il vous plait Anyone receiving an invitation with an R.S.V.P. on it is OBLIGED to reply as promptly as possible. At this time, you MUST notify your host/hostess of any special dietary needs (allergies, religious, vegetarian, or vegan). Your reply should match the invitation. A formal, third-person invitation requires a third-person reply. If the invitation says regrets only, don t send or call an acceptance unless you have something to discuss with the hostess. If there is no R.S.V.P. at all, you are not obligated to reply, but it is never wrong to do so, and any hostess will appreciate your effort. You are never, in any way, except according to your own conscience, obligated to accept an invitation. Once having accepted, however, you must go. Nothing can change an acceptance to a regret except illness, death in the family or a sudden unavoidable trip. If you find that you do need to cancel after accepting an invitation, you should telephone your regrets as soon as possible. A note of regret should follow the telephone conversation. Dining Etiquette Dining etiquette is a crucial step in evaluating a potential employee s ability to present him/herself as a confident professional. Most good table manners are simply common sense. Try to eat as naturally and as comfortably as you possible can. The following guidelines resolve some concerns. Let s Begin At the Table No portfolio, purse or wallet is to be put on the table. Men should leave their jackets on. Outer coats and umbrellas should be checked before entering the dining area. When sitting at the table, hands may be folded in your lap when not eating or you may rest your forearm on the edge of the table. Never rest your elbows on the table. To signal that you are ready to order, close your menu and put it down. Napkins As soon as you are seated, put your napkin on your lap. Leave large napkins folded in half and small napkins should be unfolded completely. Never lick your fingers, use your napkin. Your napkin is to remain on your lap until after the meal and your host/hostess has put his/her napkin on the table. Do not refold your napkin, but place it loosely gathered next to your plate. If you have to leave the table during the meal, place your napkin on the chair. Alcohol In an interview situation, it is recommended that you do not have any alcohol. At work events after you are employed and of legal age If you choose not to drink alcohol for whatever reason, never feel like you need to have an alcoholic drink to fit in. 1

4 Moderation is key. Employees will discuss poor judgment at the water cooler the next day. A good rule to follow is one alcoholic drink per hour plus eat some food. Silverware Silverware is to be used from the outside in. Never put used silverware on the table surface or linen covering. If you drop a piece of silverware on the floor, don t try to pick it up. Ask your server for another. The same with your napkin. American Style Eating The fork begins in your left hand with the tines up and the knife in your right hand. A few bites of food are cut, the knife is laid across the top of the plate, sharp edge toward you. The fork is switched to the right hand, if right-handed, tines are pointed up and then bring the food to your mouth. Resting - Place the fork on your plate with the tines up. The fork should be well away from your knife to indicate that you're not finished eating yet. Finished - Set your fork and knife side by side diagonally on the plate when you are done eating. The tines of the fork should be up and the sharp edge of the knife should face towards you. The fork should be to the left of the knife. Position your silverware in such a way that they won't slide off when the server removes the plate at the end of the meal. A good guide is to place the knife and fork at the 10 and 4 o'clock positions on your plate. Continental Style Eating - With you fork in your left hand and your knife in your right, you cut the food, usually one bite at a time and use the fork, still in the left hand tines pointing down, to spear the food and bring it to your mouth. The knife remains in your right hand. Resting - Set down your knife and fork simultaneously when you aren't using them. Place your silverware in a wide "V" position with the open side of the "V" towards you when you're just setting them down for a moment. This position shows others that you aren't finished with your meal. Finished - Put your silverware together to indicate that you're finished with your meal. Place them at an angle to your right, as if they're pointing from ten o'clock to four o'clock. Out of courtesy, make sure the silverware can't easily slide off onto the table when a server or host removes your plate. Passing When items or food is passed, pass to your right. If someone has requested an item, don t use the item as it passes you. Wait until the requester has used it and then ask for the item. When passing items with a handle such as a small pitcher of cream, pass so the handle will be received by the person. Pass the salt and pepper as a set and don t touch the tip. Charger Plates A charger will already be on the table when you are seated. The soup, fish or salad course are served on top of the charger. It is customary for the charger plate to be removed prior to the serving of the entrée or dinner course. Review of the Courses Bread/Butter Plate The butter plate is on the left at the place setting. Butter is placed on your butter plate using either the butter knife at your place setting or the butter knife accompanying the butter dish. The butter on your butter plate is there for the bread, not to butter your vegetables. Bread/rolls should be broken into bite-size pieces, then buttered and eaten one piece at a time. 2

5 Soup Croutons and oyster crackers are put into soup whole. When large crackers are served with soup, eat them separately. Never break them up and sprinkle them in your soup as you would do at home. Spoon soup away from yourself. Hold the spoon parallel to your mouth. Quietly sip soup from the side of the spoon, not from the tip. When the level of the soup is low, you can tip the bowl away from you. Then the soup may be spooned away from you. Upon completion of a soup course, rest the spoon on the saucer of plate under the bowl. Salad Cut or fold salad into bite-sized pieces, one bite at a time. If you cut your lettuce, do not attempt to slice up all the lettuce at once. The salad fork should remain on the plate when you are finished. Your knife may rest on your bread plate if it is to be used for the entrée course. If cherry tomatoes are large, they should be cut and eaten with a fork rather than eaten whole. To cut, pierce carefully with a fork and then cut. If they are small enough to eat whole, then do so. Eat olives with pits by putting the olive in your mouth, removing the olive meat off the pit and removing the pit the same way the olive went in, either by discreetly spitting it in your fingers or on your fork. Sorbet Sorbet is a sweet, frozen concoction that is served before the entrée. It is served as a small scoop in a bowl or glass. The purpose of it is to cleanse the palette and prepare taste buds for the main course. Even though the scoop is small, you do not eat it in one bite. You can eat only one bite of sorbet or the whole scoop. Entree When choosing from a menu, select easy to eat items, preferably with a fork. Foods that are difficult to eat include ribs, spaghetti, large sandwiches, and corn-on-the-cob. Meat or any entrée should be cut one piece at a time. Don t push food onto your fork with pieces of bread or your fingers. Don t ask for a to-go container during an interview; just leave what you can t finish. Dessert Dessert is typically not ordered during a lunch interview. Dessert fork or spoon may be placed on the plate with the dessert when served, or above the dinner plate at the beginning of the meal. Beverages Float lemon in the beverage. Do not attempt to squeeze it. Place the tea/beverage spoon on the saucer. Don t leave your spoon, swizzle stick or tea bag in your cup. If your place setting has a cup and saucer to be used for coffee or hot tea, but you do not care for any, just gently wave your hand over the cup when the server comes to you to indicate you do not want any. The Check During the interview process, your host/hostess will pay for the lunch or dinner. After employed, the party who benefits most from the business association should pay, regardless of which party extended the invitation. If it's not clear who benefits most from the relationship, the party who extended the invitation should pay. Ideally, try to make arrangements for the check before the bill reaches your table. This clears up any potentially awkward situations. 3

6 If you're going out for a business dinner with a group of colleagues, the most senior executive at the table should deal with the check. If going out with friends/colleagues, often the check is split. Other Tips When it is time for a restroom break, say excuse me ; do not refer to the fact that you are going to the restroom. Always chew food with your mouth closed. Do not speak with your mouth full. Turn your cell phone off, not just vibrate. Never chew gum at the dinner table. Never season foods until you have tasted them. Pouring ketchup all over food is an insult to the chef. Ketchup is for hamburgers and non-gourmet dishes. Never ask for ketchup. Transport the food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food. Remove foreign objects the same way it entered your mouth if possible. EXCEPTION: Fish Bones - Small bones from fish or fowl are easily removed with your thumb and forefinger. Awkward. Food that is too Hot or Spoiled If a bite of food is too hot, take a swallow of water. Only if there nothing cold to drink, you can spit it out. You can spit it onto your fork or into your fingers and quickly put it on the edge of your plate. If food is spoiled, don t swallow it but remove it as quickly and discreetly as you can. You can spit it onto your fork or into your fingers and quickly put it on the edge of your plate. Choking Try a sip of water or a cough to free the food, making sure to cover your mouth. If you need to continue coughing, excuse yourself and leave the table. If you are really choking, do not hesitate to get someone to help you. When a person is truly choking, s/he is unable to speak, cough or make any sound. Do whatever is necessary to attract attention to you. Keeping calm and acting quickly might save your life. Coughing and Sneezing It is not necessary to leave the table if it just one sneeze or cough. If it continues, you need to excuse yourself until it has passed. When you feel a sneeze or a cough coming on, cover your mouth and nose with a tissue. If you do not have one, or have time to get it out, use your napkin. In an emergency, use your forearm or hand. Blowing Your Nose You should excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom to blow your nose, unless it is just a quick blow into a tissue following a sneeze. Do not use your napkin to blow your nose. Before returning to the table, be sure to wash your hands thoroughly. Unpleasant Items in Your Food You may notice a problem in your food before you eat it such as a bug or hair. At a restaurant, politely and quietly show the object to your server and ask for a replacement. At someone s home, you need to be more delicate. Don t call attention to it and embarrass your host. Try to work around the problem. When you get something that doesn t belong in your mouth, remove it. Do this as inconspicuously as possible by spitting into your fingers and placing it on the side of your plate or your napkin. 4

7 Food Stuck in a Tooth If you have food stuck in your teeth, please do not use your fingers or a toothpick at the table. If you feel something wedged between your teeth and it is bothering you, excuse yourself and go to the restroom. If you notice food stuck in someone s teeth please tell them as discreetly as possible rather than letting them go on talking. Business Etiquette Introductions 60% of a first impression is based on our visual appearance and much of that has to do with our body language. We communicate with our eyes, gestures, posture and facial expressions. Your handshake is the first physical contact you have when you greet someone. Be sure to extend your hand, smile, and make good eye contact. Your grip should be firm not too limp or too strong. Say your first and last name clearly. Use the person s name immediately after meeting them. When given a name badge, place it on your right shoulder area. When shaking hands, it will be more noticeable. Networking Event Etiquette The good news about attending this type of event is it is a wonderful opportunity to network. The bad news about attending a networking event is you are there to neither eat nor drink. Before the function, find out who is attending. Make a plan. What is your objective? Do some relevant research. When attending the function, make an appropriate entrance. Employ good eye contact. Describe what you do clearly. Circulate be interested and interesting. Don t sit. Do not be looking around the room for your next contact as you carry on a conversation with someone. Focus eye contact on that individual and after a time; politely excuse yourself to move on to someone else. Don t monopolize one person s attention. After the function, recall people you have met and organize business cards. If you promised information, respond immediately. Never put a glass on a finished surface like a coffee table, end table, or a baby grand piano. Put it on the bar, a coaster, or beverage server. Never carry a partially consumed beverage to the dinner table. Telephone Technique When the telephone is answered, announce yourself. Use first and last name when calling or answering. Always be pleasant. Don t eat or chew gum. Don t open mail or shuffle papers. Always give the caller your full attention. Voice mail message should be professional. Announce your name to the caller. No fancy jingles or distracting sounds. When using a cell phone: Be courteous and considerate of those around you. It is not appropriate to use the phone in very public places such as mass transit, public restrooms and full lobbies. Never have the cell phone on at a meeting or seminar; use the vibrate option. A cell phone is never appropriate during a business lunch. Use the same guidelines for cell phone etiquette as for telephone etiquette listed above. 5

8 Etiquette Always use a proper greeting. Be careful of your choice of words scrutinize an s content as you would a written memo. DO NOT consider as confidential correspondence. Check for spelling and other errors. Conversation Tips For the uneasy times at a party, following introductions, or riding in a car, here are a few tips on making small talk: Mention a mutual friend. Speak positively about the opportunity to meet. Talk appropriately: no four-letter words, poor jokes, or ethnic slurs. Don t talk about money, your health or overly personal issues. Also, don t discuss politics and religion. Include everyone in the conversation. Be considerate. It s okay to discuss national news, sports, a popular movie, etc. Most of all... be a good listener. Tips on Tipping Taxi Driver 15% plus 1$ per bag Porters Airplane curbside check-in, $1 per bag Doorman $1 for cab, but more if he has to stand out in the rain Bellhop $1-$1.50 per bag Room Service 15% (check to see if gratuity is already included on the bill) Concierge Depending on how much you used their service, tip up to $20.00 Maitre d Optional; if doing you a special favor, $5 Wait Staff 15-20% of the check, depending on the service Washroom Attendant $1-$2 Hairdresser 20-25%, plus $1 for shampoo person Err on the side of generosity and remember the ultimate tip is a handwritten thank you note to supplement the monetary tip in appreciation for exceptional service. 6

9 Bibliography McDonough, Judy, The Etiquette Edge, 2002 Parkhurst Dining Service, Dining Etiquette, 2001 Post, Peggy, Emily Post s Etiquette, HarperCollins, New York,