THE WIDOW IN MINK By Carl L. Williams. (Excerpts may be used royalty free for auditions.)

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1 THE WIDOW IN MINK By Carl L. Williams (Excerpts may be used royalty free for auditions.) AUDITION -- for 1 m, 5 w In this scene, Jane and Roger are awaiting Margaret s return. (MARGARET enters wearing a mink coat, followed by DIANE, JANE, and BETSY, all of them jovial.) MARGARET: That was such fun! DIANE: Wasn t it? JANE: We should go back sometime. BETSY: And do it all again! MARGARET: Hello, Julie! Hello, Roger. (To the WIDOWS.) You all remember Julie and her friend Roger. ROGER: Wow! Look at you. JULIE: You went out and got the mink coat! DIANE: And now we can t get her out of it. JULIE: It s beautiful. BETSY: The rest of us may have to upgrade our wardrobe. JANE: Do you know how many pairs of shoes I could buy for the price of that mink? DIANE: When you re wearing mink, who cares about shoes? JULIE: I didn t know you were serious about getting one. MARGARET: I didn t know it either, until I did it. JULIE: Is the weather really cold enough for mink? MARGARET: Not yet, but once I got it, I wanted to wear it. JULIE: You must have gone someplace fancy. BETSY: We went to the carnival! ROGER: The carnival?! JULIE: In a mink coat? DIANE: I told everyone on the midway she won it at the ring toss. BETSY: She really said that to people! JANE: Over and over again.

2 DIANE: You re just a stick-in-the-mud. MARGARET: The best part is we rode the merry-go-round. JULIE: You finally did it! MARGARET: Up and down, around and around! BETSY: With her mink coat open, flying in the breeze. You should ve seen her. DIANE: Like this Here we go! Come on, come on! (DIANE grabs MARGARET s hand and BETSY s hand and starts them moving.) MARGARET: (Laughing.) Oh, my word! BETSY: In a circle! DIANE: Come on, Jane. (JANE takes hold of BETSY s other hand and MARGARET s other hand.) JANE: Go faster! (THEY circle faster.) DIANE: Up and down! (THEY dip and rise in an alternating wave, as best they can.) BETSY: With the organ music playing! (BETSY mimics organ music, and the others join in. JULIE and ROGER watch in amazement.) JULIE: I should ve been there with a camera! ROGER: You should be filming this! (Suddenly the circle stops as THEY collide into one another and laugh.) MARGARET: Now I m dizzy! DIANE: You ve been dizzy all afternoon.

3 BETSY: We all have. JANE: I just loved riding my pony. JULIE: You went on pony rides, too? JANE: No! The merry-go-round pony. With his hooves in the air. DIANE: I rode a unicorn. BETSY: I think mine was a bear. ROGER: A carousel bear? BETSY: Actually, I m not sure what it was. JULIE: What was yours, Aunt Margaret? MARGARET: (Pause, a smile.) A bird. A great flying bird, with his wings lifted up, swooping me around. JANE: We rode that merry-go-round four times. DIANE: I know women who describe their marriages that way, except they refer to them as roller coaster rides. BETSY: (Insinuating.) You think Margaret might be ready to buy another ticket on that ride? JANE: (Continues the insinuation.) She can ride the merrygo-round by herself, but the roller coaster has seats for two. MARGARET: I don t know what you mean. JULIE: What are they talking about? MARGARET: I don t know what they mean. DIANE: Yes, you do. You just won t admit it. JULIE: Aunt Margaret? MARGARET: They must be talking about Charlie. But I don t know why. ROGER: Maybe from the photographic evidence. (Indicates all the photos of flowers.) Looks like he s made a habit of bringing you flowers by proxy. MARGARET: It s just a silly thing he does. JULIE: But you haven t been going out with him, have you? BETSY: Uh oh. Did we just tell a secret? DIANE: How could it be a secret if she told us? MARGARET: It s not a secret. It s not anything. JULIE: Then you have been seeing him. JANE: Ooooo, Margaret, did you break curfew? DIANE: You haven t been sneaking out the window at night, have you?

4 BETSY: Or leaving the window open? MARGARET: Hush, now, all of you. ROGER: (To JULIE.) The point seems to be that Maggie doesn t need you to be her mother. JULIE: I hope no one minds if I m still her niece and concerned about her welfare. MARGARET: That s sweet of you, Julie. JANE: Yes, it is. BETSY: Sweet. DIANE: Very. (JULIE still looks at MARGARET with disapproval.) JANE: Look how late it s gotten. BETSY: We should probably go. DIANE: I ll call you later, Margaret. (JANE, BETSY, and DIANE hurry out.) JULIE: Is it true, Aunt Margaret? MARGARET: Is what true? ROGER: (To JULIE.) You need to be more specific in your accusations. JULIE: Have you been seeing Charlie? And by that I mean, have you been dating Charlie? MARGARET: I wouldn t say I ve been dating him, no. We just go out from time to time. He takes me places. It s nice. ROGER: (To JULIE.) Nice could be translated as innocent. Don t let that muckraker s mind of yours go digging for scandal. JULIE: Stay out of this. ROGER: Of course. I forgot I m without standing, being only a friend of the niece of the party being interrogated. JULIE: I m not interrogating her. I m only asking questions. ROGER: Quite the distinction. MARGARET: I m not sure what you want to know. ROGER: She wants to know if Charlie s intentions are honorable.

5 JULIE: Wrong. I m pretty sure of Charlie s intentions. I want to know your intentions. MARGARET: Mine? I can t say I have any intentions, dear. ROGER: Her intentions are entirely unintentional. (JULIE gives him a stern look and HE shuts up.) JULIE: Doesn t it strike you as odd that Charlie has been showing all this interest in you just since Uncle George died? MARGARET: He couldn t very well show interest before George died, could he? JULIE: Aunt Margaret, really. Think about it. Suddenly you re rich. Suddenly Charlie knows you re rich. Suddenly he s coming around showing interest. In you or in your estate? ROGER: That s a little unkind, isn t it? JULIE: I m not saying he doesn t like you. I m sure he likes you. Everyone likes you. But now he s making it more than that, and you have to ask yourself why. MARGARET: I m not very good at thinking up questions to ask myself. JULIE: It s not that I m trying to be unkind (A glance at ROGER.) but I suspect Charlie is after your money. MARGARET: Well, of course he is, dear. JULIE: What? You know that? You admit it? MARGARET: What does it matter? We go places together and we have a good time. JULIE: But, Aunt Margaret, that isn t I mean it s not Do you think that s proper? ROGER: (To MARGARET.) What she s really asking is if this arrangement involves any sexual favors. JULIE: Roger! MARGARET: He hasn t asked for any, and I haven t offered any, so it works out nicely. Almost like being married again. ROGER: It s hard to get more proper than that. MARGARET: A single woman my age can t just go out on her own, you know. At least I can t. (Takes off her mink.)

6 MARGARET: (Cont d.) When I m out with the widows, that s a group thing. But going places with a man, just the two of us it s altogether different. JULIE: It certainly is! MARGARET: You like going out with Roger, don t you? ROGER: Don t you? JULIE: That s irrelevant. ROGER: You don t mean I m irrelevant. MARGARET: I enjoy having Charlie as my escort. ROGER: Charlie Pruett, escort service. MARGARET: I loved your Uncle George, but he wasn t the liveliest person in the world. ROGER: Even less now. JULIE: Roger, I swear! MARGARET: Maybe I wasn t so lively, either. But now I can be. And I m going to be. JULIE: But what if Charlie wants more than just going places with you? ROGER: If he plies you with liquor and turns on Sinatra, tell him you re not that kind of girl. JULIE: Has Charlie asked you for any money? MARGARET: Not a penny. JULIE: That s what he s leading up to. I d bet on it. ROGER: First you re swearing, now you re betting JULIE: (Turns on him.) And next I ll be committing murder! MARGARET: You re making too much of this, dear. JULIE: Has he said anything about getting married? MARGARET: Not that I can recall. ROGER: It s the marriage angle that frightens her most. Julie is wary of proposals. JULIE: More weary than wary. ROGER: Maybe I can wear you down. JULIE: You only wear me out. MARGARET: (Brightly.) How about some lemonade? JULIE: Lemonade? MARGARET: I have a pitcher of it in the refrigerator. I ll get it! JULIE: But Aunt Margaret

7 (MARGARET exits.) ROGER: Now you ve done it. You ve driven her to drink. I know the feeling. From: The Widow in Mink- By Carl L. Williams Published by: Eldridge Publishing Co.

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